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The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] + Subtitles for season one! — Page 85

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Octorox said:

I know you’ve probably gotten this question plenty of times before, but have you given any thought to a Rebels: Refocused? Rebels is probably going to become much more relevant with the Ahsoka series on the horizon. Unfortunately, I think Rebels is harder to reshape because the progression is significantly more linear, but I’ve had friends that have complained that the first season in particular is hard to get through.

I have (of course!) BUT:

  1. I don’t think it needs quite as much fixing - generally a viewer could suffice with a ‘best episodes’ list or a ‘Ahsoka focus’ list, for example.
  2. Goob on these forums is doing a similar Rebels edit for further refinement on top of the above.
  3. I’d like to keep my focus on TCW, the prequel era, and supporting Acbagel’s Mandalorian and Bad Batch edits, at least for now. I think that’s plenty!

Still, I may one day take a deeper look at Rebels, and even Resistance, perhaps!

The Clone Wars: Refocused | Andor: Movie Omnibus

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Resistance is ripe for this kind of edit, but unlike the other two I feel like it has very little imprint on Star Wars canon overall (at least so far). The ties to the sequel trilogy don’t really do much to recontextualize those movies.

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Octorox said:

I know you’ve probably gotten this question plenty of times before, but have you given any thought to a Rebels: Refocused? Rebels is probably going to become much more relevant with the Ahsoka series on the horizon. Unfortunately, I think Rebels is harder to reshape because the progression is significantly more linear, but I’ve had friends that have complained that the first season in particular is hard to get through.

Funny, the first season of Rebels is my favorite season out of all SW animated shows, I think.

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EddieDean said:

REQUEST FOR SUPPORT

Hi folks, now that this is complete and polished, I’m looking to launch it over on the fanedit.org forums. Threads from unapproved editors can get buried quite easily over there (and I’m still not approved) so I’d be extremely grateful if you could give the thread over there a bit of love - perhaps via a brief review, or a comment on the approach taken over here? Thanks in advance to anyone who helps give this edit a little buzz beyond our borders!

Lets get the support rolling guys! EddieDean has given us a great series, lets give him a comment! 😄

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Thank you all so much guys, this means so much to me! ❤️

I’d love to become a fanedit.org editor and get it listed on IFDB, but it’s tricky to become an approved editor there (especially with such a large project for review… and the fact that right now they’re focused on a much older Hobbit project which hasn’t been my focus for a long time).

But anyway, I really really appreciate all the support.

Now that I’m done with the ‘big picture’ though, I can focus more on the smaller details. If there’re any features of the edit - however minor - that you guys think I should re-think, please let me know. I’m more than happy to revisit decisions, tweak scenes and shots, etc. Convince me to fix stuff!

You’re all awesome.

The Clone Wars: Refocused | Andor: Movie Omnibus

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So far, I’ve watched up to the 501’st legion. I like this idea, and you have done a great job making the story more interesting. So far, the 501st Legion is my favorite edit, and I think it had the potential to save the origin of the 501st for people who might not have liked those episodes before.

I also had this idea; you don’t have to do this. This is my opinion, but I think the 501st legion could have been a great first episode. Considering that this story is about the Clone Wars, it would have been cool if Lucas and Filoni had started the series with an episode about clones, the 501st, no less. Also, I don’t think the Malevolence or Gunray Arc is important. I know it technically has some character development for Ahsoka. Still, to me, it’s not done that well to the point that I don’t notice it as any character development. But it’s up to you.

Tracking back to the 501st Legion, I think it’s close to being a great edit. These are just a couple of bugs I noticed that, if fixed, could elevate the edit, in my opinion.

  • I feel like it’s a little weird to put the scene with Echo and Fives meeting Shakti so close to the beginning as you did. I think I can hear where you added fives saying “echo.” I assume to make the story congruent and not have any nameless characters immediately, but I think it might be better to have that somewhere else.
  • I like that you started the episode with the pan over Kamino and the Bounty hunter instructor yelling at Domino Squad. Still, I think the transition might be smoother if you had the bounty hunter’s voice coming in while we watch the pan over Tepoka city.
  • Some transitions seem quick like they don’t feel smooth or natural. I don’t think this is your fault. I think it’s just the nature of how the episodes were made since Clone Wars wasn’t edited that well, to begin with. But if you can find a way to make the transitions a little slower and smoother and help the characters interact and deliver their lines more slowly and smoothly, I think it will help. Also, when I watch episodes about Domino Squad and members of the 501st, I like to watch those as if 5s and Echo are the main characters—their story from Domino Squad to Echo’s death at the Citadel to 5s discovery of the inhibitor chips. I think it would help if you minimized Heavy and Cut Ups rolls in the story to draw more attention to 5s and Echo. I don’t know if this could work, but maybe you could cut out the Domino Squad episode and start with the base episode.
  • This isn’t your fault, but 99’s story is rough. In the invasion of Kamino, he gets an arc trooper killed by running around and distracting him, and then he almost makes 5s shoot a bunch of young clones. Also, his death is dumb. There is a hallway on the other side of the barracks where he could have run, but instead, he ran right in front of the droids and was just an obvious target. I see what they were trying to go for, but it wasn’t done well. And the part where their hiding in the barracks seems a little awkward given the 5s or Echo just asked 99 where to got to get a better shot at the droids, but then when the trainees show up saying they were going to the barracks for some reason they all go there and one of the clones gives this lame speech. There’s not much you can change about that, but I think cutting straight from “we were headed to the barracks” to the clone ambushing the droids in the barracks with the trainees popping out of the sleeping pods I think would be a little cooler. Another thing with this episode is when a Rex tells 5s and Echo that they showed strength and valor, and then “reminds me of me actually.” I can’t tell if he’s joking or if the writers wrote that line without noticing how arrogant that sounded. That being said, the invasion of Kamino is pretty cool.

That’s all I can think of for the 501st episode. But I have other things that aren’t bugs, just personal opinions.

  • I think the words at the beginning of the episode, “Conflicts arise…” is cool in the first episode, but it becomes a little redundant after a while. Also, I wonder if you should put more subtle music behind the words at the beginning to make them easier to read. I go back and forth on this because I like how the title comes in on the drop.

I think that’s all I have for now. I hope I don’t sound like a jerk. Your edit is great, and I think your idea is brilliant. Thanks for putting in all this hard work and positively contributing to the fandom. This is a fan edit I’ve wanted someone to do since I finished my first watch-through of the CW, so I appreciate what your doing here. Sorry for the long post.

May the Force be with You.

May the Force be with You

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Thanks very much for the feedback. I agree with a lot of what you say.

The 501st is definitely the first proper good arc chronologically, or if not chronologically, as something that deserves to be a very early story in the war. Smudger recognised this, making it his first movie, and it’s why I’ve highlighted those first five episodes as a little ‘intro arc’, and would make it part of my own first movie too. The issue is that this show really needs to be recognised as The Ahsoka Show, not the ‘prequel characters anthology’ it began as. And while unarguably rough, Malevolence and Gunray arcs set up important character traits for Ahsoka - her determination, empathy, overeagerness, and brashness. We need to know where she comes from, so we can appreciate her growth. I’ve tried to strike a middle ground by highlighting those specific episodes as weaker than the rest of the show - hopefully to encourage the viewer to stick with the show even if they don’t quite enjoy those episodes. I’m interested in how you all feel that lands in line with that goal, or even whether it is the right goal.

As for the 501st, some good notes here. Echo’s name is a clumsy addition, as is Hevy’s ‘brothers’, so I might see about changing that. You’re right that I could smooth the intro dialogue too. I might also expand out the first third of the movie a little and give the squad a bit more success (especially since success [and medals] allows me to give 99 a bit more value) - though I still feel like it’s a more compelling three-act structure if it’s their failiure that sends them to the Rishi moon.

You might be the only person who doesn’t like 99 though! But I have to keep him either way I think, since he’s the inspiration for Clone Force 99 of the Bad Batch.

As for the opening line of each season, I don’t know. I think it’s inoffensive enough, at least. But I did kinda like the idea of giving each season a theme which also clearly outlines what’s the state of the galaxy/war right now. I quite like it as a replacement for the worthless fortune cookies.

Speaking of the movie, I have thought about how I’d structure a purely hypothetical movie 1 a little more. Since this is the first movie to follow Attack of the Clones, it should be clone-focused. That means the 501st, and an extended version of the Christophsis content which includes Hidden Enemy (and its traitor clone). Malevolence (and chasing Grievous) lead nicely into the 501st, and the Gunray episode continues the Ventress story, leading into it too. So it’d be a bit like this:

  • Establish that Dooku’s agents are doing what they can to stop clone production dead in its tracks and undermine the Republic’s ability to field an army. Also establish
  • Start on Christophsis, with the clone ambush, and parallel plots of Rex/Cody investigating the traitor as Anakin/Obi-Wan hunt Ventress. She escapes.
  • Cut to Grievous in the Malevolence destroying Plo Koon’s fleet, and targeting the next medical station. Emergency in the sector.
  • Return to Christophsis, with my trimmed version of the content from the movie. Before things get too heavy, Dooku tells Ventress that Gunray has been captured. Luminara’s specifically on the support ship dropping off Ahsoka. Ahsoka meets Anakin, and they liberate Christophsis, then head to space.
  • Cut to Kamino, where Domino Squad are struggling in their training.
  • Cut to the Malevolence storyline, where Obi-Wan’s coordinating medical station help whilst Anakin and Ahsoka hunt for Plo Koon and a clue about the Malevolence’s whereabouts. Probably revert to nearer the original ordering of the Malevolence storyline, where first it’s Plo Koon focused, and then the hunt for the Malevolence as it’s destroying medical stations can occur over a longer time period. Conclude the Domino Squad on Kamino storyline around here (or get them to Rishi if it feels like enough time’s passed), then destroy the Malevolence. Establish Luminara as present at the final battle. Grievous escapes.
  • Cut to the Rishi moon, where Domino Squad are ousted. Hints of Anakin and Obi-Wan hunting Grievous, as we intercut with Ahsoka, with Luminara, fending off Ventress. The 501st rescue Domino Squad. I may see what I can do to have Ahsoka’s interrogation of Gunray yield the clue which she gives to Anakin which sends Rex/Cody to Rishi. (Edit: I just tested this and it’s easy peasy!) Anakin congratulates Ahsoka.
  • Conclude with Domino Squad, the 501st, Anakin and Obi-Wan defending Kamino against Grievous and Ventress.

One thing I really want to do with my purely hypothetical movies is make sure the characters are well-balanced in each of them, moving smoothly between storylines. So it’s less about big, focused episode arcs, and more about the characters always having something relevant to do.

The Clone Wars: Refocused | Andor: Movie Omnibus

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I see what you’re saying, maybe I am a little too hard on 99.

I’ve never heard of the smudger edit do they still send links?

May the Force be with You

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WOW, just wow! I just binged trough the first two seasons and must say again, WOW! As I am easily pleased I might not have enough feedback for you.

I may have one question: as a non-native English speaker I do enjoy using subtitles in my media. Are there any plans in including these in the future?

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Hooray! That’s excellent to hear. I don’t currently plan to add subtitles, though they have been requested a lot. I don’t know how much work they’d take, which is why it’s not something I’ve picked up. Does anyone know how to create/edit subtitle tracks? I’d be starting from scratch.

The Clone Wars: Refocused | Andor: Movie Omnibus

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EddieDean said:

Hooray! That’s excellent to hear. I don’t currently plan to add subtitles, though they have been requested a lot. I don’t know how much work they’d take, which is why it’s not something I’ve picked up. Does anyone know how to create/edit subtitle tracks? I’d be starting from scratch.

Aegisub.

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Subtitles would be excellent, but in my experience, they’re much easier to set up when making an edit from scratch. imunfair from r/fanedits made an automatic subtitle script, though, which takes in subs made for the unedited content, and changes them based on the edited version - caveat that it only works if you’ve been editing in Premiere Pro.

That said, Premiere Pro does make working with subtitles pretty easy, since you can move them around in the same way as moving clips or audio around, and you can edit the subtitles within the program.

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I’ve been thinking a little more about a potential movie from the start of the show. NO PROMISES, as ever!

As Smudger and others have observed, it’s right that there’s a focus on Ahsoka meeting Anakin, plus the Clones, for a movie that follows AOTC. For that reason, the core should be the movie’s Christophsis content and the Domino Swuad arc. But I think we also need to focus a bit more heavily on Ahsoka’s early character development, which suggests Malevolence and Cloak of Darkness, and both of those feature Grievous and Ventress respectively, which I think fleshes out the plot nicely.

That way, you get the core three Jedi, a clone focus, and all of the main villains working together toward a single goal. I count thirteen main sequences across those episodes, ordered so the plot works and so the characters flow naturally through it:

  1. (Malevolence) Plo Koon is shot down by Grievous’ massive ship (the “emergency”), possibly as a cold open.
  2. (Hidden Enemy) Anakin and Obi-Wan, on Christophsis, are ambushed and track Ventress, discovering an invasion.
  3. (Cloak of Darkness) Dooku pulls Ventress away from Christophsis since Gunray’s been captured.
  4. (Movie) Anakin and Obi-Wan struggle against the invasion.
  5. (Movie) Ahsoka is delivered to Christophsis (warning of the “emerency”), and helps Anakin win the day. Obi-Wan leaves.
  6. (Malevolence) Anakin and Ahsoka rescue Plo. (I might pepper more scenes of Plo earlier than this, but the main conclusion comes here.)
  7. (Domino Squad) The Domino Squad fail their training. (Intercut with the previous.)
  8. (Malevolence) The Malevolence targets a medical station and is destroyed by the three Jedi. Grievous escapes. (I might actually cut this or leave it for a later conclusion. With the prior content leaving Grievous on the loose, that lines up nicely with his suprise appearance later.)
  9. (Cloak of Darkness) Ahsoka returns to Luminara, and interrogates Gunray.
  10. (Domino Squad) The squad are beaten by Grievous’ forces on the Rishi moon.
  11. (Cloak of Darkness) Ventress comes for Gunray, Ahsoka survives, and Ventress escapes with Gunray (intercut with the above). (Add dialogue to have Ahsoka’s interrogation yield the Rishi hint for Rex.)
  12. (Domino Squad) Rex comes to Rishi, and rescues Domino Squad. They learn of Grievous’ Kamino attack.
  13. (Domino Squad) Everyone except Ahsoks goes to destroy or defend Kamino.

There’s a new tab in my spreadsheet you guys can look at if you want to dig into this further.

There are a few good scenes with the right people who can help bridge some of this. And potentially a few good ways to string it together. The Malevolence attacks are now more of a distraction to panic the Republic (“emergency!”) into helping enable the Rishi-Kamino strike.

The main issue is in focusing the first half of the film. You need to introduce the Malevolence threat early, and it’s useful to give Ventress a good reason to get off Christophsis, but then it feels a bit busy to also introduce all-new clones at the start in addition to all this - though you do want to give the 501st enough time to get from Kamino to Rishi.

I’d be really interested to get more brains on this.

The Clone Wars: Refocused | Andor: Movie Omnibus

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EddieDean said:

Hooray! That’s excellent to hear. I don’t currently plan to add subtitles, though they have been requested a lot. I don’t know how much work they’d take, which is why it’s not something I’ve picked up. Does anyone know how to create/edit subtitle tracks? I’d be starting from scratch.

I’ve been using Subtitle Edit for Rebels Recut as it has an audio to text function with Whisper. That gives me most lines of dialogue subbed and timed, then I watch through the episode and fix star wars specific words and mistakes and adjust timings.

It’s a lot less work then it would appear to be! Which is the main reasons I started adding them to my edit haha.

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EddieDean said:

  1. (Malevolence) Plo Koon is shot down by Grievous’ massive ship (the “emergency”), possibly as a cold open.
  2. (Hidden Enemy) Anakin and Obi-Wan, on Christophsis, are ambushed and track Ventress, discovering an invasion.
  3. (Cloak of Darkness) Dooku pulls Ventress away from Christophsis since Gunray’s been captured.
  4. (Movie) Anakin and Obi-Wan struggle against the invasion.
  5. (Movie) Ahsoka is delivered to Christophsis (warning of the “emerency”), and helps Anakin win the day. Obi-Wan leaves.
  6. (Malevolence) Anakin and Ahsoka rescue Plo. (I might pepper more scenes of Plo earlier than this, but the main conclusion comes here.)
  7. (Domino Squad) The Domino Squad fail their training. (Intercut with the previous.)
  8. (Malevolence) The Malevolence targets a medical station and is destroyed by the three Jedi. Grievous escapes. (I might actually cut this or leave it for a later conclusion. With the prior content leaving Grievous on the loose, that lines up nicely with his suprise appearance later.)
  9. (Cloak of Darkness) Ahsoka returns to Luminara, and interrogates Gunray.
  10. (Domino Squad) The squad are beaten by Grievous’ forces on the Rishi moon.
  11. (Cloak of Darkness) Ventress comes for Gunray, Ahsoka survives, and Ventress escapes with Gunray (intercut with the above). (Add dialogue to have Ahsoka’s interrogation yield the Rishi hint for Rex.)
  12. (Domino Squad) Rex comes to Rishi, and rescues Domino Squad. They learn of Grievous’ Kamino attack.
  13. (Domino Squad) Everyone except Ahsoks goes to destroy or defend Kamino.

The main issue is in focusing the first half of the film. You need to introduce the Malevolence threat early, and it’s useful to give Ventress a good reason to get off Christophsis, but then it feels a bit busy to also introduce all-new clones at the start in addition to all this - though you do want to give the 501st enough time to get from Kamino to Rishi.

I’d be really interested to get more brains on this.

This sounds like a solid foundation for a movie. I think the choice to introduce domino squad later is the better option (otherwise the beginning gets too busy). There could be room to move the introduction to the Malevolence and have Hidden Enemy be the open… I’d say the best way to determine would be to make and watch a few different orderings and see which you like best! 😄

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I’m still going to through the thread (page 46 right now) and I love your process and am super excited to watch this. Also my best friend, who never really got into TCW, is visiting me next months and I hope I can introduce him to your edit for great effect!

Now i haven’t watched anything yet and I watched TCW as it released so I don’t have any feedback on episodes. And I know you’ve pretty much completed your project so 1. you’re done and 2. you might have already made some changes but I have a few thought I wanted to share just in case.

  1. I actually love “snips” (don’t remember “sky guy”) to me it always felt like a term of endearment from Anakin and made me really feel his attachement to Ahsoka.

  2. May I suggest you change the title to Dark ForceS Rising to give a neat like wink to the video game?

  3. for the clone anthology part. since they are anthology and shorter burst maybe the the context wall of text could be similar to TWC with just one line as opposed to 6 lines over 2 frames.

That’s it I’m out. going to page 47. see you soon ™

“This cannot be! Is… Is it an omen?”

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Glad you’re enjoying reading the process!

I’m never done done, so please always feel free to suggest things! This is totally a living project.

  1. I did end up using ‘Snips’ in a few places.
  2. That’s a nice nod, but I wanted to use ‘Force’ since it’s got a lot of implications - the military force, the darksiders on the rise, and the dark side of the force rising within Anakin. I like titles which can be read in a few ways.
  3. I did end up going a little different with that text. Originally I tried to explain all three stories, but that didn’t really work. Now it’s still six sentences, but I took a more informal ‘storyteller’ tone with it.

The Clone Wars: Refocused | Andor: Movie Omnibus

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smudger9 said:

EddieDean said:

I’ve just got the news that the edit is now finally IFDB approved!

Thank you all so much! ❤️

Congrats. I remember the hoops I had to jump through to get Army of the Republic approved back in the day. They have high standards!

Thanks so much Smudger! They absolutely do. Thanks so much for your original TCW movies, they really started this whole thing for me. I still maintain them for those who continue to request them! I’m proud my edit can stand alongside yours.

The Clone Wars: Refocused | Andor: Movie Omnibus

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Congratulations! Very much deserved; I hope you win edit of the month.