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The Clone Wars: Refocused - A complete series edit. [SEASON THREE COMPLETE!] — Page 53

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Delpheas said:

Narratively not having it though, almost gives the proposed episode a nice flow, that that episode would interrupt. Part of me wants to say maybe leave it out, despite what it might add. Idk.

I could maybe break the Mace Windu episode, that is two parts with a brief beat in the middle.

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I wasn’t sure about adding the Forces of Destiny stuff at first, but it does give you more Padmé content. And Padmé and Ahsoka teaming up regularly helps build up their friendship in their Clone Wars episodes. I think it makes sense that Ahsoka would kind of know about Anakin and Padmé, so I think it would benefit to include that implication.

Also, I LOVE the new Revival title, Pirates of the Outer Rim.

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Delpheas said:

That might work!

Edit: Also, your version of “Lightsaber Lost” has a crawl that references having just faced off with Hondo, yet where your episode order places it, they haven’t met him yet. Did I miss an update about that episode that you haven’t gotten around to yet?

Good spot, thank you! I’ve reordered it.

I think one of the cool things about including the FOD episode where Ahsoka learns that Padmé and Anakin are romantically involved is that it then kind of enhances why Padmé and Ahsoka want to spend more time together (e.g. with Padmé teaching Ahsoka about politics) - from Padmé’s perspective she’s got someone she can confide in, or at least someone who understands that part of her; and from Ahsoka’s, it’s almost a bit of a family thing.

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RogueLeader said:

I wasn’t sure about adding the Forces of Destiny stuff at first, but it does give you more Padmé content. And Padmé and Ahsoka teaming up regularly helps build up their friendship in their Clone Wars episodes. I think it makes sense that Ahsoka would kind of know about Anakin and Padmé, so I think it would benefit to include that implication.

Also, I LOVE the new Revival title, Pirates of the Outer Rim.

I think Del’s idea to include the FoD stuff would upgrade the current Tales from the Clone Wars episode to at least Continuity level, since it fills in a few gaps, and with the added focus on main characters it’s a bit more important now. And as you say, Ahsoka/Padmé is a good pairing, and this episode would fit nicely between their first kind-of-joint-mission on Mandalore and their larger friendship in The Politics of War.

I thought you’d like Pirates of the Outer Rim! 😉 It’s got that nice pulpy feel, while also being totally appropriate since the episode is about two groups of pirates.

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Updated the OP a little for clarity and detail.

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Do, why didn’t you decide to do one 60min episode out of 5x14,15 and 16? I mean, it’s a one straight story.

When it comes to Ahsokas trial, I’d leave 5x17 as a separate one, since it’s has a different, more chill csi spoof, vibe and then present the 3 other episode as one story

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szopman said:

Do, why didn’t you decide to do one 60min episode out of 5x14,15 and 16? I mean, it’s a one straight story.

This was an option I could have chosen because they have at least small timeskips between each episode, rather than being explicitly back-to-back.

I did choose this option for the following reasons. I believe that one of the strongest parts of TCW was the Maul/Mandalore plotline (composed of brilliant episodes/arcs and paid of wonderfully by the season finale). It’s also something that I think would be most interesting to the new viewer of TCW, who may be familiar with The Mandalorian (and therefore be interested in additional content there) or to the viewer who only knows the prequels and expects that a TV series would simply take us from AOTC to ROTS in a straightforward way (in which case the introduction of these new wildcards and third parties not mentioned in the movies may show that there’s an unexpected, and therefore more interesting, story to be told here). Furthermore, originally the Mandalore plot was quite sparse, and especially the Maul plot only kicked off very late in the story - the last 40% of the series. So I wanted to turn the Maul/Mandalore plotline into more of the ‘spine’ of my show, having it begin earlier and develop progressively over time - kind of in the way that Moff Gideon doesn’t appear in EVERY episode of the Mandalorian, but in each appearance the threat of him grows and continues to hang over the show even in his absence. To achieve this kind of ‘maximum throughline’, that meant splitting the Maul/Mandalore content into more smaller chunks, rather than fewer larger chunks.

When it comes to Ahsokas trial, I’d leave 5x17 as a separate one, since it’s has a different, more chill csi spoof, vibe and then present the 3 other episode as one story

That sounds eminently sensible. If you’re familiar with my tracker spreadsheet you can see that some future (and previously some past) episodes have been listed as e.g. s03e08/09, indicating that I’m not sure if I’ll split an arc into one or two episodes. I ended up putting Umbara and Rako Hardeen as a single episode, whereas it looks like Onderon and Yoda’s Quest will become two. I expect to conduct the same review process for Ahsoka’s Fall, and will likely end up splitting it out as you suggest.

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I’ve just watched the Death of Obi-Wan cut. I’m impressed, the pacing feels like it should and it keeps all the important beats, Dooku and Bane’s relationship, Mace being a dick and even Yoda showing why the PT Jedi have issues, Palps clearly knowing what’s going on and using it as a huge attempt to manipulate Anakin.

I actually wish TCW had much more of the latter, it’s really only this arc and the Ahsoka’s Trial arc that show Anakin on his descent.

The cut itself only went a bit sticky after the sudden zoom into Dooku’s hidden base and the sudden introduction of the rest of the crew and Bane’s takeover of the mission with Eval not sulking about it despite his massive ego (still present in the cut).

I’d also noticed that one of the fireworks looks like an opening text crawl which is cool. I really hate the holo-disguises though.

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Artan42 said:

The cut itself only went a bit sticky after the sudden zoom into Dooku’s hidden base and the sudden introduction of the rest of the crew and Bane’s takeover of the mission with Eval not sulking about it despite his massive ego (still present in the cut).

Thanks Artan. Can you expand on this a little please? When you say ‘a bit sticky’, do you mean that those establishing shots don’t quite work? Or something graphical? Or are you referring to the story regarding the introduction of the full crew?

Do you think that excluding the introduction of the additional group members constituted a narrative hole, or do you think it was forgivable? If a hole, do you think it would be patched by mentioning Bane’s established ability to quickly pull together a crew in the opening text, or does it feel like more is needed?

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EddieDean said:

Artan42 said:

The cut itself only went a bit sticky after the sudden zoom into Dooku’s hidden base and the sudden introduction of the rest of the crew and Bane’s takeover of the mission with Eval not sulking about it despite his massive ego (still present in the cut).

Thanks Artan. Can you expand on this a little please? When you say ‘a bit sticky’, do you mean that those establishing shots don’t quite work? Or something graphical? Or are you referring to the story regarding the introduction of the full crew?

Do you think that excluding the introduction of the additional group members constituted a narrative hole, or do you think it was forgivable? If a hole, do you think it would be patched by mentioning Bane’s established ability to quickly pull together a crew in the opening text, or does it feel like more is needed?

The establishing shots work and it’s clear what’s going on any why. It’s the story that just feels a bit patchy. I think ‘The Box’ covers a lot of exposition as well as the team selection that’s just missing if you remove the whole thing.

Eval is set up as the valuable mastermind with Bane as a useful minion in the first part before ‘The Box’ shows that Dooku wanted Bane all along. There’s also no mention of needing to find help in the first part as all their focus is on running, that’s because ‘The Box’ has the switch form Eval to Bane and the focus on the team whereas the cut has the team appearing out of nowhere with no indication why Bane didn’t ask them for help in part 1.

I think if anything is added to the crawl it might have to be that there’s a crew waiting in secret on Naboo ready for the prison break but that might disrupt the flow and add unnecessary exposition.
ordinarily I might suggest adding some scenes from ‘The Box’ as a quick montage with dialogue playing over them but the problem is that the pacing of your cut is really good and would potentially slow down if any more was added.

I think it’s something I wouldn’t have noticed if this had been the original episode as things like this happen (like the Obi-Wan and Anakin are captured by Hondo episodes) but having seen the full arc it stood out to me. It might be worth seeing if anybody else notices it before considering changing anything as it may just be me that noticed it.

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So as I work my way through restructured, my partner and I (having just finished their first TCW watchthrough) are watching Rebels, and I remember people complaining about it when it aired. “The artsyle is too bright”, or “it’s to kiddie”.

But compared to Clone Wars? It doesn’t have the same childish humor TCW struggled with, there’s no Jar Jar saves the day through sheer accident, and most relevantly for TCW:R, every episode builds off something in the last one, there are real through lines. Characters grow in a clear arc, the actions they take effect what they’re able to do next, and you never have to wonder if the reason a character is being sidelined is because they had near-death experience in the previously aired ep, or if it’s coincidence (see Ahsoka going from Mortis into Citadel)

All because they did what you’re doing to make a coherent story, from the very beginning. It makes for a more enjoyable experience, imo.

On Hold
Legacy of the Force-RoS WIP

Completed:
Fall of the Republic (RotS-NCC)v2

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I agree. Of all of the spinoffs from the Tartakovsky Clone Wars onwards, only the CG Clone Wars had that haphazard approach where every arc existed very much in isolation. There were throughlines, and world and character development, but as you say, there was very little attention paid to flow between this arc and the next.

And only the CG Clone Wars had such a radical range of tones. Tartakovsky’s CW had the humour in the animation and some ludicrous power scaling, Rebels was a little childish, Resistance was a little ‘HEY KIDS YEAH WOO!’, but only in TCW did you have a beheading during a military coup in one episode, and Jar Jar pretending to be a bombad general the next.

I’m going to eventually put some thought into what polish Rebels and Resistance might need, but IMO it’s always been TCW that REALLY needed a good tightening.

Feedback here’s been quiet lately, which I’m taking as a good sign, though I’m still very eager to have any and every decision challenged - especially regarding the episodes I am or am not including, and the flow between them. It was good arguments from the community early on which caused me to include some I’d otherwise not have, like Ryloth, Umbara, and Onderon. But maybe there are good arguments for episodes like Dooku Captured? Who knows?

Anyway, I’m working on Tales From the Forces of the Clone Destiny Wars now, and will probably have that done today!

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Right, that’s rendering now! I hope I got the right render settings - it’s been a while since I did a Tartakovsky edit so I’m not sure I’ve got it all right this time. [EDIT: Video was fine but the audio’s fucked, so don’t expect it quite so soon]

I ended up going with the idea I had above, of splitting out Mace Windu’s episode. I couldn’t think of an alternative way that wasn’t jarring, since Padmé and Yoda appear in so many of these. This way, it almost feels like it could flow over roughly a couple of weeks, though I don’t know if the pacing might take a little hit here.

I kept the Tartakovsky Clone Wars opening titles and credits (because I want it to still say ‘I’m something a bit different’), though since Forces of Destiny gives each episode its own little title and I didn’t want to cut around them, I opted to add FoD-like titles to each Tartakovsky arc. Which is a bit cheeky, but good fun. RogueLeader will like them at least 😉 (New names in bold)

The episode is now 33 mins long and plays out like this:

  1. Teach You, I Will (FoD 111) - gives Ahsoka her second lightsaber
  2. Ocean Commotion - the Kit Fisto/Mon Calamari Tartakovsky arc
  3. Impostor Inside (FoD 106) - shows Ahsoka and Padmé bonding over a little action
  4. Danger on Dantooine - Mace fights droids, with a cliffhanger as he gets surrounded
  5. Starfighter Stunt (FoD 112) - shows Ahsoka and Padmé’s relationship growing as they deliberately do something fun together
  6. Destruction on Dantooine - Mace destroys the droid smasher
  7. Unexpected Company (FoD 202) - Ahsoka tries to join her new buddy Padmé, inadvertently deepening their relationship in a direction they didn’t intend
  8. Crystal Crisis - the complete Ilum arc, thus named as homage to the lost TCW episode. Here we assume it’s some time after Unexpected Company, since Padmé is now accompanied by Yoda, but what can you do. At least the part where Padmé and Yoda enter the plot is after we’ve been following only Barriss and Luminara for a while, so stuff can happen in that timeframe.
  9. Padawan Path (FoD 104) - where Ahsoka gets her longer braid, transitioning us properly into season three.
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Lol, digging the titles! My dad and I might try to go through Restructured together, and he will definitely get a chuckle from “Ocean Commotion”.

I like the inclusion of these extra bits from non Clone Wars 2008 sources. I kind of picture these as specials that would’ve been released during the gaps of time between each season. Not exactly necessary to the overall narrative, but extra little characterization for fans who like it.

I don’t know if there is enough content to make one of these between each season, but treating them as “bridges” is a great place for them I think.

Since these include different animation styles (Tartakovsky, FoD) it might feel weird, but one of these anthology episodes might be a good place to include that animated short someone did of Anakin and Obi-Wan’s fireside conversation from Crystal Crisis.

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RogueLeader said:

one of these anthology episodes might be a good place to include that animated short someone did of Anakin and Obi-Wan’s fireside conversation from Crystal Crisis.

Well, if you’ll recall, my intention is to merge that fireside chat with the Scipio arc, so Anakin’s wrathful/jealous behaviour there might be interpreted as his only onscreen (over/)reaction to the loss of Ahsoka.

I hope your Dad enjoys them! I agree that these Tartakovsky/Forces of Destiny bits aren’t super important, but that they’re just little nibbles between meals. It won’t quite work as one per season, but eh, we take what we can get. These will never be Quality Cut, but I think this episode will be Continuity - worthy for those who care about the connective tissue of the franchise.

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Oh right! I do recall that. So is it supposed to be like a voiceover during a dream sequence/montage?

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I think so. I’m limited in my options, but certainly the audio over some imagery. Perhaps the new CG version. Perhaps just a crackling fire in the sand. Perhaps some sort of dreamy VFX over it. It’s totally not something I currently have much skill at, if any. I’d be interested in ideas.

I just feel like pairing the “memory” of discussing Ahsoka’s loss with the imagery of Anakin being jealous and violent is the best we can do with what we have.

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RELEASED - s03e00 (v2.0) - TALES OF THE CLONE WARS

33m16s.
This is a bonus episode, part of the Continuity Cut (for those who want maximum connective tissue), but not vital.
Comprising the Mon Cala, Dantooine and Ilum plots from the Tartakovsky microseries (as in v1.1), but now including five Forces of Destiny shorts: 104 Padawan Path, 106 Imposter Inside, 111 Teach You I Will, 112 Starfighter Stunt, and 202 Unexpected Company.
Most notably it features some key steps for Ahsoka that bridge my seasons two and three, and builds on the relationship between Ahsoka and Padmé.
Idea by Delpheas.
Notes as above, link in the tracker spreadsheet (a bit lower down so scroll down for it), PM for access to the spreadsheet.

Next up, Onderon to complete season three!

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EddieDean said:

I think so. I’m limited in my options, but certainly the audio over some imagery. Perhaps the new CG version. Perhaps just a crackling fire in the sand. Perhaps some sort of dreamy VFX over it. It’s totally not something I currently have much skill at, if any. I’d be interested in ideas.

I just feel like pairing the “memory” of discussing Ahsoka’s loss with the imagery of Anakin being jealous and violent is the best we can do with what we have.

If you couldn’t make a “dream” sequence work, perhaps you could do something similar to the politics of war episode, where you put audio over Padmé walking the streets of Coruscant, illustrating what is currently going through her mind. You could probably trim that fireside conversation down if necessary as well. Perhaps you could have a scene of Anakin brooding, but also cut to flashbacks of Ahsoka leaving, of Obi-Wan, etc, to extend the moment a little as well.

I haven’t rewatched that arc in awhile, so I can’t think of a particular moment where it could fit. Are you including the Trace and Rafa arc for Season 7?

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On the tracker it looks like he is. That arc is vital to Ahsoka’s growth and informs where she goes next afterall. Plus the sisters are now making additional appearances in other canon media, it’d be weird to cut them.

Anyway, I was considering waiting until I had watched all of S1 before offering my thoughts, but I figure I’ll give 'em as I go.

So:

0100 Dark Force Rising - I know you already stated your reasons for not formatting this episode as part of the series proper, but I would love an alternative version with at least the TCW:R logo for the opening. This episode just feels so necessary to me. Though in a single episode like this the long sequences without dialogue and just fighting really drag and could use a trim.

I would consider trimming down and/or cutting the instances of Obi-wan berating Anakin and verbally doubting his readiness for assignments. By the end of the episode he’s giving Anakin a supportive speech about how much he’s grown and matured as his padawan and it doesn’t feel like something Anakin earned over the arc of the episode, it just feels abrupt. And it’s a retread of their dynamic from AotC. It feels especially weird when in the next episode he’s suggesting Anakin is ready to submit for a padawan of his own.

0101 - The New Padawan

Love the opening stinger. It immediately caught my attention and made me curious about what’s going on.

Admiral Yularen says he’s gonna drop off the “message” at 07:45. The transition was weird. Noticed this in a few other places in other episodes too. Where ibwaa expecting a wipe, there was fast fade to Black and then the next scene.

When Ventress makes her entrance, is there any instance of Anakin saying “Ventress” that could be used here, instead of Obi-wan saying it? Any Anakin line that could be used to express disbelief that she’s alive?

Obi-wan flirting with her at all feels out of place, not because he’s never met her, but because last he knew, Anakin had killed her and it was that victory that proved he was ready to he knighted.

I know we’re going to see her again in later episodes, but I missed having any kind of scene where she reported to Dooku or something. Her just vanishing felt odd.

At 19:24-25, there is an abrupt audio cut and click as it goes from Kenobi to Anakin and Ahsoka

At 23:30 we here Yularan say “reinforcements should be landing in a moment”, but there is no one in frame when he says it and it is unclear who it is directed to. Would be less odd to me if the sound of the shuttle we hear as he’s speaking didn’t cut out abruptly and faded into the shot of Rex. This would help it feel like a connected audio moment.

Regarding Bail thanking Anakin for his help, a verbal “Your Welcome Senator” or “Of course Senator” or a “Just doing my job Senator” from Anakin would help it feel less out of place. As it is, the only problem I have with this bit is it feels like Bail’s being ignored, so he feels like he was just added in.

I think you should keep Rex introducing Ahsoka to the boys in “The New Padawan” it’s a fun moment which is also important for the all her interactions with the clones and it sets up the finale. In Malevolence, if the viewer hasn’t seen Ahsoka meet the clones, it is odd when one just recognizes her. Sure the viewer can assume they’ve been introduced, but why leave that to an assumption when it can be shown?
Plus ending with Ahsoka gently ribbing Anakin in front of the clones is great setup for their dynamic.

01E2 - The Death Watch

This episode was strong, well paced, and enjoyable. Good job. Not much else to say here. You removed the most egregious parts of the episodes seamlessly.

S1E3 - Malevolence

At 2:14-15, as the clone watches the ship crash into him through the window, there’s a rogue frame.

At 7:44-45 the audio transition could be smoother. The whole cut felt a bit abrupt from the clone talking to the ship in hyperspace.

At 22:9-10, another rogue frame.

Season 1 Thoughts, So Far:

This is a marked improvement over the original first season, notably the first episodes, with much of the gunk removed and the good stuff uplifted with tighter editing and excellent rearranging.

I do miss seeing Anakin go out of his way to rescue Padme in the Malevolence arc, but I do also like seeing them together less as it helps sell the issues they experience later on. And not seeing her until the “season finale” works well.

One thing:

The intro text for “The Death Watch” sets up that Anakin is off somewhere WITH Ahsoka, so I was really thrown when he showed up in this episode without her. It doesn’t feel narratively satisfying to have the next time we see him after he gets his padawan, for her to be missing. Especially since we haven’t really had an opportunity to watch them grow into their new roles at this point. He literally just decided that he isn’t gonna pawn her off on Obi-wan.

I think Malevolence would make a better episode 2 than “The Death Watch” as it has Anakin with Ahsoka, gives us more time to absorb her as a character, and ends in such a way that it doesn’t feel odd to not see her in the next ep. “The New Padawan” ended with them going off to check on the fleet, and the Malevolence stuff is entirely focused on that. And so it kinda felt like it was continuing on from where New Padawan ended.

And a quick glance at the opening crawl for “501st Legion” shows that it would work just fine with Ep 2 & 3 swapped.
Though I would still want TDW’s crawl wording to be less confusing regarding Ahsoka if possible.

P.s. I love the titles you came up with for the 03 sections of Tales from the Clone Wars. So much fun! Which is what this ep is gonna feel like, a fun bridge between 2 & 3.

Edit: so just musing about how to present the series finale, cus having watched RotS-NCC on its own, Siege of Mandalore on its own, and then my combination edit, I have a hard time imagining getting to the end of the series and not watching the full ending. If it’s just Siege of Mandalore then about 20 min in you lose two of your main characters and only see one of them 1 more time, and there’s no context for Vader’s appearance. Whereas RotS-NCC on its own just feels incomplete. You wonder the whole time, where is Ahsoka, Rex and Maul?

But 3 1/2 hrs is a lot, and I’m wondering if splitting into two or episodes might not be a bad idea?

No need to respond to these musing atm, I know S5 is a ways off. 😃

On Hold
Legacy of the Force-RoS WIP

Completed:
Fall of the Republic (RotS-NCC)v2

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RogueLeader said:

If you couldn’t make a “dream” sequence work, perhaps you could do something similar to the politics of war episode, where you put audio over Padmé walking the streets of Coruscant, illustrating what is currently going through her mind. You could probably trim that fireside conversation down if necessary as well. Perhaps you could have a scene of Anakin brooding, but also cut to flashbacks of Ahsoka leaving, of Obi-Wan, etc, to extend the moment a little as well.

Yeah, something like that could also be possible. If there are quiet moments I’ll try backing them with “memory” audio. I can’t remember what episode it was in, but I think there’s a quiet scene of Anakin sitting in his dormitory(?) in the Jedi temple at some point, which also might work.

I haven’t rewatched that arc in awhile, so I can’t think of a particular moment where it could fit. Are you including the Trace and Rafa arc for Season 7?

Yeah. Quite heavily trimmed around the middle, if I remember right. It’s ultimately a strong arc, it’s just that the two middle episodes have quite a lot of repetitive or redundant content which whacks the pacing right off.

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Delpheas said:

Anyway, I was considering waiting until I had watched all of S1 before offering my thoughts, but I figure I’ll give 'em as I go.

Keep 'em coming! I love detailed feedback like this. After season three I’ll do a polish pass of seasons one and two, and I’ve had good indepth feedback from you and at least two others recently, so I’m looking forward to doing a nice batch of refinements.

0100 Dark Force Rising

I know you already stated your reasons for not formatting this episode as part of the series proper, but I would love an alternative version with at least the TCW:R logo for the opening.

Ah, perhaps I should then, for s01e00 and s03e00. Wrap them in properly.

This episode just feels so necessary to me. Though in a single episode like this the long sequences without dialogue and just fighting really drag and could use a trim.

I would consider trimming down and/or cutting the instances of Obi-wan berating Anakin and verbally doubting his readiness for assignments. By the end of the episode he’s giving Anakin a supportive speech about how much he’s grown and matured as his padawan and it doesn’t feel like something Anakin earned over the arc of the episode, it just feels abrupt. And it’s a retread of their dynamic from AotC. It feels especially weird when in the next episode he’s suggesting Anakin is ready to submit for a padawan of his own.

I wasn’t intending to do anything radical to the Tartakovsky content, even though it’s a little jarring compared to TCW, since ultimately Tartakovsky’s gonna Tartakovsk. It’s such a stylised thing that I always felt like it was best allowed to remain in his signature style - other than the elements I always found particularly conflicting with the canon. I’m not married to that decision though and I could take it further if there’s popular support. I’d be interested in specific lines/elements which people think should be removed.

0101 - The New Padawan

Love the opening stinger. It immediately caught my attention and made me curious about what’s going on.

I really like it too. To my mind, it’s part of the “promise” of TCW:R as opposed to TCW. It’s TCW:R saying “This show’s going to emphasise Maul and the Mandalorians, it’s going to bring them together, and oh hey look here’s the Darksaber and Bo Katan.” I also think there’s value in putting it right up front during what I think are the weakest parts of TCW:R - the very start - to generate some momentum that might carry a viewer through it.

That said, people have a valid objection to it, which is that (while we do get our hints of Maul and Mandalore in season one,) we don’t get back to this scene ‘in real time’ until mid/late season three. And there’s certainly a good argument which says “don’t promise something you don’t deliver on for three seasons”. Does knowing that change your opinion on its worthiness?

Admiral Yularen says he’s gonna drop off the “message” at 07:45. The transition was weird. Noticed this in a few other places in other episodes too. Where ibwaa expecting a wipe, there was fast fade to Black and then the next scene.

I’ll review these.

When Ventress makes her entrance, is there any instance of Anakin saying “Ventress” that could be used here, instead of Obi-wan saying it? Any Anakin line that could be used to express disbelief that she’s alive?

Obi-wan flirting with her at all feels out of place, not because he’s never met her, but because last he knew, Anakin had killed her and it was that victory that proved he was ready to he knighted.

To my mind, they learn that Ventress survived offscreen, hence why they’re tracking her in the crawl. Anakin doesn’t need to have killed her to earn a knighting - simply ‘defeating’ her should suffice. I borrowed Smudger’s audio here to at least refer to their original meeting. I will look for an Anakin line though - they don’t actually meet that much in TCW but the Kamino episode might have the line.

I know we’re going to see her again in later episodes, but I missed having any kind of scene where she reported to Dooku or something. Her just vanishing felt odd.

Weirdly enough this is kind of how it is, if I remember right. I don’t think there’s a Dooku conversation, she just talks to that horrible Scottish general then fucks off. My read on this whole situation is that she kind of drew Anakin and Obi-Wan to her mainly so they’d be in the building with her whilst the Separatists were dropping a landing party, at which point it was job done. Though I agree it doesn’t really make much sense.

At 19:24-25, there is an abrupt audio cut and click as it goes from Kenobi to Anakin and Ahsoka

At 23:30 we here Yularan say “reinforcements should be landing in a moment”, but there is no one in frame when he says it and it is unclear who it is directed to. Would be less odd to me if the sound of the shuttle we hear as he’s speaking didn’t cut out abruptly and faded into the shot of Rex. This would help it feel like a connected audio moment.

Noted on these!

Regarding Bail thanking Anakin for his help, a verbal “Your Welcome Senator” or “Of course Senator” or a “Just doing my job Senator” from Anakin would help it feel less out of place. As it is, the only problem I have with this bit is it feels like Bail’s being ignored, so he feels like he was just added in.

I agree that this inclusion just doesn’t quite work. This is how it was originally, Bail says “thanks” and then we cut immediately away to some other clones without any response from Anakin. I really don’t know what my options are here though. Definitely the inclusion of Bail’s three scenes is something I’m still on the fence on. I’d love to keep him since Bail’s good value, “you served my father in the clone wars”, and ultimately his presence here slightly ups the stakes, but it does feel a little disjointed. There is certainly an argument for trimming him entirely just for the sake of getting through this first episode as smoothly as possible in order to build confidence in the project.

I think you should keep Rex introducing Ahsoka to the boys in “The New Padawan” it’s a fun moment which is also important for the all her interactions with the clones and it sets up the finale. In Malevolence, if the viewer hasn’t seen Ahsoka meet the clones, it is odd when one just recognizes her. Sure the viewer can assume they’ve been introduced, but why leave that to an assumption when it can be shown?
Plus ending with Ahsoka gently ribbing Anakin in front of the clones is great setup for their dynamic.

I’ll check this!

01E2 - The Death Watch

This episode was strong, well paced, and enjoyable. Good job. Not much else to say here. You removed the most egregious parts of the episodes seamlessly.

Woop woop! I’m dead pleased with the removal of the conveyor belt, that scene remains the most technical single scene edit I’ve done.

S1E3 - Malevolence

At 2:14-15, as the clone watches the ship crash into him through the window, there’s a rogue frame.

At 7:44-45 the audio transition could be smoother. The whole cut felt a bit abrupt from the clone talking to the ship in hyperspace.

At 22:9-10, another rogue frame.

Thank you!

I do miss seeing Anakin go out of his way to rescue Padme in the Malevolence arc, but I do also like seeing them together less as it helps sell the issues they experience later on. And not seeing her until the “season finale” works well.

The Anakin/Padmé scenes in Malevolence were fine, maybe even cute, but I felt I had to cut them because (1) the contrivance to get them into that situation cheapens quite a few characters, (2) the action on the Malevolence is particularly goofy, with the trains and the droids in particular, (3) It completely throws off the pacing of the arc. But I agree, waiting until the S1 finale works (with a good “it’s been ages since I saw you” scene), and then we get more of her later in the show.

Season 1 Thoughts, So Far:

This is a marked improvement over the original first season, notably the first episodes, with much of the gunk removed and the good stuff uplifted with tighter editing and excellent rearranging.

That’s the goal, so I’m super happy that’s your takeaway!

One thing:

The intro text for “The Death Watch” sets up that Anakin is off somewhere WITH Ahsoka, so I was really thrown when he showed up in this episode without her. It doesn’t feel narratively satisfying to have the next time we see him after he gets his padawan, for her to be missing. Especially since we haven’t really had an opportunity to watch them grow into their new roles at this point. He literally just decided that he isn’t gonna pawn her off on Obi-wan.

I think Malevolence would make a better episode 2 than “The Death Watch” as it has Anakin with Ahsoka, gives us more time to absorb her as a character, and ends in such a way that it doesn’t feel odd to not see her in the next ep. “The New Padawan” ended with them going off to check on the fleet, and the Malevolence stuff is entirely focused on that. And so it kinda felt like it was continuing on from where New Padawan ended.

And a quick glance at the opening crawl for “501st Legion” shows that it would work just fine with Ep 2 & 3 swapped.
Though I would still want TDW’s crawl wording to be less confusing regarding Ahsoka if possible.

Yes, I intend to reorder some of season one, I think. Imhotep (I believe, sorry if I’m wrong) suggested a good reordering for season one which fixed the matter of Ahsoka’s early absence plus made the development of the villains, and particularly Ventress, flow really well.

P.s. I love the titles you came up with for the 03 sections of Tales from the Clone Wars. So much fun! Which is what this ep is gonna feel like, a fun bridge between 2 & 3.

Good fun eh!

Edit: so just musing about how to present the series finale, cus having watched RotS-NCC on its own, Siege of Mandalore on its own, and then my combination edit, I have a hard time imagining getting to the end of the series and not watching the full ending. If it’s just Siege of Mandalore then about 20 min in you lose two of your main characters and only see one of them 1 more time, and there’s no context for Vader’s appearance. Whereas RotS-NCC on its own just feels incomplete. You wonder the whole time, where is Ahsoka, Rex and Maul?

But 3 1/2 hrs is a lot, and I’m wondering if splitting into two or episodes might not be a bad idea?

No need to respond to these musing atm, I know S5 is a ways off. 😃

I’ve thought about this a little. In the most simple case, I might place the first two(?) Siege of Mandalore episodes before ROTS, leaving the second two to be played afterwards (rather than interspliced). But I might also do something more radical, and chop ROTS into episodes too, so the whole thing can flow a bit more naturally. I’m not certain yet.

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 (Edited)
  1. So the dialogue between the characters never felt like a Tartakovsky-thing. They talk like that to each other in AotC, the writing is meant to evoke that, but if it’s building towards Anakin getting knighted and being deemed ready for a Padawan, I just don’t like it. I’ll put together a sample.

  2. The issue with Ventress in the movie and early TCW episodes is silly, cus there is a deleted scene in the movie where she acknowledges her and Anakin’s Yavin encounter, but then the Hidden Enemy episode (which was produced after) put in the Christophsis fight which happens before the huttlet stuff… and it was just dumb.

In the Hidden Enemy Ventress does just leave, but that’s because she has scenes in the movie that this episode acted as setup for.

  1. Curious to see what the suggested episode order was!

  2. So I don’t have a problem with the Ep1 stinger not getting fully developed immediately. After all, the opening stinger has the Darksaber, Death Watch, and Maul - the only one of those we don’t get in s1 is Maul, which is fine, imo. Atm it doesn’t bother me. It feels like we’re getting pay off on bits, which I like.

  3. Regarding Bail, I like his inclusion and I think it does add to the episode. My only issue is a lack of response. Just a verbal response from Anakin as he “walks past” Bail would go a long way to making him feel like he’s actually there.

  4. Regarding SoM and RotS. Only the first SoM episode could happen before RotS, the second one has Obi-Wan in it and watching it before hand would just be confusing. We can talk more about it when we get there, but I have some ideas.

EDIT:

Here’s my sample of four edited Obi-Ani scenes in Dark Force Rising:
https://vimeo.com/560526924
(pass: restuctured)

In the first I cut almost all of Obi-wan’s objection to appointing Anakin to oversee the space forces.
In the second I cut Obi-wan saying anything other than “May the force be with you.”
In the third I cut Obi-wan repeatedly ordering Anakin not to follow Ventress and Anakin cutting him off.
In the fourth I cut what I felt was the most egregious of of Obi-wan’s Lecture.

My reasoning:
In the first and second scene, by cutting Obi-wan’s interjection and his explanation to Anakin that it was about his “maturity”, it reads much more (thanks to hearing his thoughts as he watches the army board the ships) that he is concerned more generally about the whole idea of Jedi fighting in the war. In the fourth scene Obi-wan says his concern regarding Anakin is that the Sith seem interested in him. If his concern was about Anakin’s maturity as he says in the current version, then when he later tells Anakin that he’s not a little boy any more, one wonders why he says it. Was it because he complained about not being trusted? Was it because he flagrantly disobeyed orders? Was it because he defeated an assassin? By trimming Obi-wan’s doubts, and his outright dismissals, what we get to see is Obi-wan voicing some concerns to a young man who he trusts and sees great potential in. Then at the end when Obi-wan recomends him for promotion it feels genuine, like Anakin has really proven himself, not in spite of Obi-wan’s trust in him, but because of it.

Edit edit:

Here’s a my rough take on an alternate opening for DFR. I think keeping Yoda’s intro is great, this is afterall kinda a TV movie/first prequel episode. It is okay if it has some pieces we won’t see again. But I like it better with the TCW:R logo.

https://vimeo.com/560596675 (pass: restructured)

Edit again:

Here’s more episode thoughts!

S1E4 - The 501st Legion

I think the test they fail, where the squad’s names get mentioned and Shaak-ti lays out their issues, is a stronger opening than the scene with the Bounty Hunter dressing them down. Consider this adjustment to the scene order:
Failing the test through the two hunters talking about caring or not caring.
Then your current opening scene.
Then Hevy & 99.
Then the two clones speaking to Shaak-ti

This order has a stronger narrative flow imo, and helps make it clearer that that what they might consider a lesser assignment, Shaak-ti considers a way to help them.

At 29:19, after 99 is sad about Hevy’s loss, the camera is briefly on Echo and his mouth moves, yet he doesn’t say anything. Drew me out of it.

Again, nice aggregation. You kept the best parts of the three episodes, maintained a good pace. It was a nice watch.

S1E5 - Cloak of Deception

The opening text her confirms my thoughts regarding changing the order of eps 2 & 3. If the next two times we see Anakin after Malevolence he doesn’t have Ahsoka, cus he’s pursuing Grevious, then this opening text fully explains that, and there’s no weirdness.

When Ahsoka draws her saber on Ventress, we do see her mouth move, and I think maybe adding a VO of her saying “Assassin!” or something would be nice. It was just odd, imo. Then Ventress says “Skywalker isn’t here to save you now” which feels out of place, because we have not seen Ventress interact with Ahsoka prior to this episode, and here Luminara is in charge. It seems most likely that she would assume Luminara was Ahsoka’s master. If you could splice audio to have her say “There’s no one here to save you, child” or something like that, I think it would help.

Consider modifying Ahsoka’s rant about Ventress at 12:01-08. Ahsoka doesn’t have any idea what the “bog witch” is capable of either, she’s met her once. If you combine her lines here with what she’s saying at 12:21-25 (so combine these two sequences) you could produce something like “I know Luminara is a Jedi Master, but I can’t let her face that low-life alone.” It would fit better with the story we’re presenting here.

I do think Ventress’ arc works as is, by this episode she’s had a few failures that were very close to being successes, with only the second counting against her, it feels like a decent progression. So I’m curious what the suggested reordering would do for her.

S1E6 - Children of Night

Opening Text Suggestion:
Change “his master Obi-wan Kenobi, to Master Obi-wan Kenobi” at this point Ben isn’t Anakin’s master specifically, he is a Jedi Master and the wording here might confuse the issue a bit.

Change “But his master, Lord Sidious” to “Yet, his Master,”

Your aggregation and trimming of these episodes was fantastic.

The single trial with the Savage/Feral focus was great, kept things moving forward, while still showing Savage’s motivations.

Two things:

So I kinda want to see Ventress’ disgrace happen later in the season, or at least have space between her appearance in Cloak of Darkness and this episode. I guess lair of Grevious will go here once edited right?

I don’t know that this needed to be a single episode? Two episodes, with the first ending with Dooku congratulating Savage on his attack on the temple, and the second episode starting with the Delta squad cameo. That way the arc can be a bit more spread throughout the season and not just shoved into a single episode. The second episode could go right before the finale, that way the thread is more present in the viewers mind when it comes up again in S2.

Also, imo, too many arcs just aggregated into a single episode runs the risk of recreating the anthology feel.

On Hold
Legacy of the Force-RoS WIP

Completed:
Fall of the Republic (RotS-NCC)v2

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I’ve just started watching the anthology thing. I’ve never seen FoD before so it’s new.

Anakin’s animation doesn’t look that far off his 2003 CW look.
Ahsoka has eyebrows? Why?
Her shorto is green instead of yellow. Why?
I find it highly amusing that the same move she uses to block Yoda (the crossed sabres behind her back) is the same move she uses to block against Vader in Rebels.
Anakin is drawn as the same height as Ashoka. I know she’s quite tall in Rebels but she’s nowhere near as tall as Anakin in TCW.
Kit Fisto has some weird hairs growing out of his shoulders.
Padmé apparently has a chrome N1 to match her other chrome starships.
I think it’s obvious Obi-Wan sent Ahsoka along on purpose. I’m sure he knew about the two of them since the end of AotC.
In 15 odd mins Ashoka manages to have more chemistry with Padmé than Anakin did for the whole PT.
Luminara has a different voice, Bariss’ is close enough. Typho also sounds wrong.
I can’t remember if 3P0 or R2 ever go back to Illum after it becomes Starkiller Base.

Enough on my rambling observations. The cut itself worked well, the animation styles are surprisingly similar, as is the tone and it actually manages to feel like the FoD stuff was original to it. The choices of segments helps set up a bunch of things from the main series (including Illum and Mon Cala, Ahsoka confronting a binary load lifter). The transitions can sometimes be a bit abrupt on the audio but unless you have the soundtrack there’s little that can be done there. The titles work nicely for both shows. I like the amount of Padmé in the episode as well.