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The Cloak of Evil. (Clips available) (Part-Finished project) — Page 2

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 (Edited)

My thinking is that if we establish this great pilot who is able to outmaneuver a guy who’s basically murdering his opponents, we’ll be on board for accepting him especially since he’s so young. I don’t think it’s possible to avoid his youth until after the announcer, but if his impressive actions are allowed to speak for him, it would be ideal.

Why don’t you say something righteous and hopeful for a change? - oojason
Episode 9 Rewrite THE SHATTERED SWORD (Complete!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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So it’s a mashup of Episode I and Episode II? Very cool. I’ll give you some feedback after I watch the clips you’ve provided.

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TK42-WAN said:

In my edit there will be no connection between Dooku and Sidious, Dooku will simply be the disillusioned former Master of Qui-Gon Jinn.

I like that.

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 (Edited)

Here are my thoughts on the clips you’ve shared:
THE BRIDGE
-You’ve done this really well. Personally, I LOVE how this crawl has different music than the other one. Having the Star Wars theme playing in the middle of the movie feels unorthodox and like we just hit a reset button. This way, however, it just feels like a transition.

OBI-WAN TAKES A DRINK
-Basically Attack of the Clones, faster, more intense. Love it!

MIDI-CHLORIANS RE-IMAGINED
-I don’t remember TPM well enough to remember what’s changed, but it seemed good to me. I also love the voice-over sequence.

ANAKIN INTRODUCTION
-Pretty well done. I think some of the other posters are right about some of the transitions being too abrupt in this clip. However, you are on the right track with this faster pace.

EDIT: I also really liked Qui-Gon Jinn talking to Yoda, and am interested to see what else comes of that.

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I recommend, if you are to change Dooku’s sabre colour, I recommend that the colour be either blue or yellow. Blue would work, because it implies that he spends his time developing his swordsmanship, green implies that he is more scholarly and uses more force powers. Yellow is somewhat of a middle ground, which works best with Dooku in my opinion

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When you mentioned a podrace as Anakin’s introduction, I thought it was brilliant. However, the exectution is atrocious. I imagined it would feature Qui-Gon and co. stumbling in and deciding to watch the race. Then, he thinks “Hey this kid’s strong with the Force”.

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Anakin Starkiller said:

When you mentioned a podrace as Anakin’s introduction, I thought it was brilliant. However, the exectution is atrocious. I imagined it would feature Qui-Gon and co. stumbling in and deciding to watch the race. Then, he thinks “Hey this kid’s strong with the Force”.

There’s not much footage for that to work though. Further, why would they randomly go to a podrace while they’re on a dangerous mission? The biggest issue is one of the problems of the original - Obi-wan is stuck on the ship the whole time and never sees Anakin’s ability in action.

Why don’t you say something righteous and hopeful for a change? - oojason
Episode 9 Rewrite THE SHATTERED SWORD (Complete!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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Anakin Starkiller said:

When you mentioned a podrace as Anakin’s introduction, I thought it was brilliant. However, the exectution is atrocious. I imagined it would feature Qui-Gon and co. stumbling in and deciding to watch the race. Then, he thinks “Hey this kid’s strong with the Force”.

I don’t think I’ve ever read any constructive criticism from you before.

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 (Edited)

I’ll try to adhere closer to your preconceived imaginings from here on out…

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darth_ender said:

Anakin Starkiller said:

When you mentioned a podrace as Anakin’s introduction, I thought it was brilliant. However, the exectution is atrocious. I imagined it would feature Qui-Gon and co. stumbling in and deciding to watch the race. Then, he thinks “Hey this kid’s strong with the Force”.

I don’t think I’ve ever read any constructive criticism from you before.

Are you implying this would be the first instance or this is more of the same?