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The "101 Ways to Kill Off-Topic For Good" Thread

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Off-topic’s been coasting on fumes for ages now. What do you feel is needed to blow the gasket one last time and send this baby to the dump?

As for myself, I feel we need to:

  1. Create more emotional help threads

  2. Bring back the Myspleen invite thread

  3. Ban everyone but imperialscum

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Don’t forget to keep mentioning how lame off topic is in every thread. That’ll help kill it.
Also, let’s keep up with this “I’m not going to post if _____ posts, so everyone that wants them back must want me to leave” game. Nobody wants to hang out on an internet nursery, so do keep that up.

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We need to get rid of Russian torrent sites. They’re the only thing keeping off-topic alive right now. As soon as people can’t get illegal rips of our threads, there will be no reason to come here anymore.

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I’VE HAD IT! I’m not going to post if Possessed is going to post anymore. I’ve tried ignoring him, I’ve tried enlightening him, I’ve tried engorging him, I’ve tried murdering him, I’ve tried EVERYTHING. Every time I see one of his posts a piece of me dies. I will quit this site if I see one more Possessed post.

Don’t do drugs, unless you’re with me.

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But you haven’t tried seducing me. Maybe that will work?

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Possessed said:

Also, let’s keep up with this “I’m not going to post if _____ posts, so everyone that wants them back must want me to leave” game. Nobody wants to hang out on an internet nursery, so do keep that up.

*sigh*

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Possessed said:

But you haven’t tried seducing me. Maybe that will work?

I figured it wouldn’t work because I’m not 60 years old.

Don’t do drugs, unless you’re with me.

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 (Edited)

Are you saying you want Neglify to seduce you, or that you want to seduce me?

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 (Edited)

I wasn’t saying either of those, but now that I think about it, I’d like to see you have a go at seducing Frink.

FOR THE RECORD, POSSESSED EDITED HIS POST TO COVER UP HIS DUMBASSERY.

Don’t do drugs, unless you’re with me.

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Not you, Frink, when he said “What about me?” But I worry that he’s out of my league.

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Don’t worry about it, I’m out of my league too.

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Possessed said:

Not you, Frink, when he said “What about me?”

Oh, I was confused because you worded your post like an asshole.

Don’t do drugs, unless you’re with me.

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 (Edited)

I think you’re speaking with your bottom again.
Although on further examination you are right, I fucked that post all kinds of up. Fixed.
I still am concerned about all your words coming out of the wrong end… Have you gotten that checked?

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I don’t know what you guys are talking about, so I’m gonna stay out of it until it’s clear who I’m supposed to seduce.

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Neglify said:

I’VE HAD IT! I’m not going to post if Possessed is going to post anymore. I’ve tried ignoring him, I’ve tried enlightening him, I’ve tried engorging him, I’ve tried murdering him, I’ve tried EVERYTHING. Every time I see one of his posts a piece of me dies. I will quit this site if I see one more Possessed post.

But have you tried exorcising him?

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I’m not a dog and that’s not how you sp…
Oh. I get it. You coy bastard.

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Possessed said:

I still am concerned about all your words coming out of the wrong end… Have you gotten that checked?

Not yet because your mom has been busy with her head up some other asshole’s asshole.

Don’t do drugs, unless you’re with me.

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I knew she’d been taking other kids to the doctor…

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 (Edited)

This thread has thus far been about seducing Possessed and talking through/like/about/to/with assholes. So I think we’re on the right track but seriously guys you can do better than this.

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DominicCobb said:

This thread has thus far been about seducing Possessed and talking through/like/about/to/with assholes. So I think we’re on the right track but seriously guys you can do better than this.

Look, Dom, I’m flattered, but like I told you I’m not that kind of girl and The answer is no.

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DominicCobb said:

I think we’re on the right track but seriously guys you can do better than this.

GOD IS DEAD. YOU ARE ALL FAGETS. THE FORCE AWAKENS RAPED MY CHILDHOOD.

Fuck it, everybody needs to go r/ImGoingToHellForThis right nao.

hitlerjesus

Don’t do drugs, unless you’re with me.