logo Sign In

Terror Experts Warn Next 9/11 Could Fall On Different Date

Author
Time
 (Edited)

WASHINGTON—In an alarming development with wide-reaching implications for America's safety, Department of Homeland Security head Michael Chertoff and CIA Director Michael Hayden issued a joint report Monday warning that the next 9/11 could in fact occur on a different date.

The report, based on intelligence gathered by field-agents, found that a future 9/11 might take place on an entirely new month and day, including 4/24, 6/13, or even 10/12. According to the report, the nation could realistically find itself in the midst of a 5/25 scenario, as well as a potential 3/14 situation in the months to come.

8/28, 6/19, and 11/7 were also cited as possible 9/11s.

Terror Poster

A poster from the new DHS public-awareness campaign.

"While 9/11 has historically always fallen on 9/11, we as Americans need to be prepared for a wide range of dates," Chertoff said during a White House press conference. "There's a chance we could all find ourselves living in a post-6/10 world as early as next July. Unless, that is, we're already living in a pre-2/14 world."

"1/1, 1/2, 1/3, 1/4, 1/5," Chertoff continued for nearly 45 minutes, "12/28, 12/29, 12/30, 12/31—these are all plausible and serious threats."

An addendum to the report that includes leap years will be released by the end of March.

Though the DHS has identified more than 7,000 sensitive dates spanning the next 20 years, it did manage to rule out 4/15/04 and 10/38 as future 9/11s. The government report also confirmed that the next 9/11 would more than likely not involve an assault on the World Trade Center's North and South towers as it has in previous attacks.

Furthermore, the 350-page document rejected long-held beliefs that the next 9/11 would commence at 8:46 a.m. on a sunny Tuesday morning. In fact, it warns that a future attack could occur on a cloudy, snowy, or even brisk day, at 8:53 a.m., 10:42 p.m., or any one of the other 1,440 known times.

"We are dealing with agents of terror who are willing to carry out another 9/11 on—if you can imagine it—6/8," Hayden told reporters. "Indeed a day may come when we as a nation have to live in fear of another 6/8, recount where we were when 6/8 happened, and swear never to forget the events of 6/8."

"At some point we might even have to come to terms with the harsh lessons of 6/8," Hayden continued.

Hayden assured citizens, however, that no matter what date the imminent attacks fall on, he has every reason to believe that the next 9/11 will be carried out by militants, radicals, zealots, or extremists, who will stop at nothing, next to nothing, or very little to destroy America.

Hayden also said he was certain that at least one of the world's 6.7 billion human beings will plot the future 5/24 or 3/17 attacks, and that it will most likely target either the nation's subways, seaports, landmarks, stadiums, buildings, structures, or other indoor or outdoor areas where large groups of people tend to gather.

"Instead of calling major terrorist attacks on their soil 'our 9-11,' other nations may soon refer to their own national disasters as 'our 11/28,'" Chertoff said. "Which, incidentally, is also my birthday, though I admit that is neither here nor there."

At the conclusion of the press conference, Chertoff urged Americans not be alarmed by the recent news, and to continue living their lives as they have for the last seven years—with the crippling fear that at any moment they, or someone they love, could die in a fiery inferno. 

I enjoyed this. I think you might too.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Whoa! Sean you just totally took away my peace of mind. I had never even considered the possibility of this before! Seriously scary stuff. Every year I grow increasingly more anxious in the days leading up to 9/11, then I spend most the day on 9/11 itself holding my breath (in intervals of course, not constantly, can't hold my breath that long, nobody can), then I stay up until 12am and breath a deep sigh of releif when 9/12 rolls along and my anxiety subsides.

Now I have to be scared to death of terrorist attacks EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!! I don't think I cant take this!

 

 

EDIT:

"it will most likely target either the nation's subways, seaports, landmarks, stadiums, buildings, structures, or other indoor or outdoor areas where large groups of people tend to gather."

Personally what I am most afraid of is some lunatic planning an attack on our nation's deserts! America has beautiful deserts in comparison to those ugly sandy things they have over yonder in turban land. It would be just like them to get jealous of our rocky, dry cracking dirt and cactus deserts and to try to blow the hell out of them. The mere thought fills me with unbearable anxiety...

"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape

Author
Time

Did you find that on The Onion sean?  It sounds exactly like something they'd have.

F Scale score - 3.3333333333333335

You are disciplined but tolerant; a true American.

Pissing off Rob since August 2007.
Author
Time
lordjedi said:

Did you find that on The Onion sean?  It sounds exactly like something they'd have.

 

Yes it is one of my favorite "news" sites.

Author
Time
sean wookie said:
lordjedi said:

Did you find that on The Onion sean?  It sounds exactly like something they'd have.

 

Yes it is one of my favorite "news" sites.

Like the Daily Show being a "news" show?

 

F Scale score - 3.3333333333333335

You are disciplined but tolerant; a true American.

Pissing off Rob since August 2007.
Author
Time

That was hilarious, Sean. Thanks for passing it on.

"Now all Lucas has to do is make a cgi version of himself.  It will be better than the original and fit his original vision." - skyjedi2005

Author
Time

Hey, even Stewart calls it a fake news show. It is more of a comedy commentary of the news at hand.