In May 1999, after tons of hype was built up, many fans went to the theater to see The Phantom Menace, hoping it would be awesome.
However, when the fans came out that theater, that “hype” turned out to be for naught. A very annoying character in Jar Jar Binks, poop jokes, bland acting, politics, dated CGI; you don’t know the half of it!
Attack of the Clones, released in 2002, had a disjointed story, wooden acting, unlikable, whiny, bratty protagonist, even more CGI…
…and by the time Revenge of the Sith was released in 2005, a GOOD prequel was a fool’s dream. While ROTS was an improvement, it ruined the mystery of Luke Skywalker’s family, and still had a lot of flaws. Sample problem: NOOOOOOOO!
The fans waited 16 years for new Star Wars movies and all they got was proof that George Lucas’ creativity was starting to dry up. Severely.
My goal is to avenge millions of disappointed fans and create a Prequel Trilogy that you can watch without having to grab a Rolling Rock.
I was inspired to fix those movies when I thought, “If Adywan can’t fix it, no mind tryin’ to!”
And that is when this magnum opus of mine for fan editing was thought up.
The series will be called, The Star Wars Prequel Trilogy: Watchable Edition.
Some changes are inspired by Adywan’s plans; he gets a Special Thanks.
The films will each be around 1hr30min
Some new effects may be done with Battlefront II’s engine
Give Jar Jar and the Gungans a new language (inspired by TM2YC’s PT Reborn edits) and, in Jar Jar’s case, better characterization of a snarky, streetsmart survivalist who was banished for not believing in Gungan religious beliefs. Something of a constructed language. Need voice actors though
No Jabba in Mos Espa; it would spoil his ROTJ reveal
Make it so that the audience won’t know Sidious (no Darth title; having it as a title makes Vader less special) and Palpy are the same person til ROTS by giving Sidious a deeper voice
Ani falls to the dark side with a seduction of power
Removal or re-editing of most of the Battle Droid dialogue
Re-arrangement of shots and scenes to match the original Star Wars trilogy’s presentation style
ROTS’ new ending: Anakin is not seen being operated on but instead is seen in the bacta tank with Sidious walking towards him and laughing. Then the babies are born. Then the separation (Luke and Leia’s separation won’t be shown). And Vader on the Star Destroyer. Credits.
Replace Obi-wan’s “You have done that yourself!” with the (admittedly) more poetic “This is your own masterpiece!” from Backstroke of the West
Lack of stereotypes
Move the Vader reveal to just before the Jedi temple slaughter, too, cutting out all references to him killing Padme, and changing his suit to match Rogue One and A New Hope.
Padme merely faints from the physical strain of carrying twins.
A new character will give Palpy emergency powers (maybe a Rodian loyal to Palpatine)
Several deleted scenes reinserted to fill plot holes
No spoiling Darth Vader being Luke’s father
Anakin slaughtering the Tusken Raiders won’t include women and children
Better color grade with fine grain for a 35MM look.
FAR less CGI. (clones will be done a la Deep Roy in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 2005, for example, and most of the CGI ships will be replaced with models.)
Tarkin will appear more in ROTS (good young Peter Cushing impression needed)
Jango and some clones will be redubbed to match Jason Wingreen’s ESB performance.
No youngling slaughter
Clones all come from several different templates, not just Jango. Also, they’ll all be voiced by a few different people than Temuera Morrison.
Young Boba remains silent, making him in line with the badass he’ll grow up to be.
Anakin screams, “I will ruin you!” to Obi-wan as he’s being burnt to a crisp.
Ani is 12 and more mature in TPM, and intentionally gets into a Naboo royal starfighter.
New opening crawls
Jango and the clones’ voices will all be redubbed to match Jason Wingreen’s pre-2004 ESB Boba voice.
Change the crawl font to match ANH, ESB, TFA, and TLJ, along with ROTJ revisited
New titles (maybe The Beginning for TPM, The Calm Before the Storm for AOTC, The Fall of the Republic for ROTS)
Make the prequels look more like the OT and ST, so that the entire Skywalker Saga (plus Rogue One) can easily be watched in order, free of spoilers.
Make it so that C-3PO isn’t built by Anakin (why would Shmi need a protocol droid?). Instead, 3PO is gold throughout the trilogy, a royal protocol droid
Make it so that, in between TPM and AOTC, Ani had went back to Tatooine to buy his mother out of slavery
Make Anakin less of a brat
Yoda will use a puppet matching his ESB, ROTJ and TLJ appearance.
Vader will be mentioned in ROTS but not connected to Ani, and when we see Vader in ROTS doing vicious acts like storming the Jedi temple (inspired by Ady), we assume he’s a different being.
Luke and Leia will not be named
Padme survives (I will go by ROTJ’s script; Padme died when Luke and Leia were four)
Owen is Obi-wan’s brother
Only Mace confronts Palpatine
The lightsabers will match those in the OT (all Jedi will use blue sabers; Mace will keep his purple one as a sign of honor, and Sith use red)
Jar Jar’s only ROTS line ('scuse me) is gone
No “chosen one” BS
No “virgin birth” (Ani’s father Kane, a wise Jedi master, was struck down by a Sith in a risky mission and vanished when Ani was two months old). Palpatine tricks Anakin by claiming Kane faked his death in the opera scene in ROTS.
And, of course, bad lines will be erased.
That’s only some of the changes; I might finish those prequels by 2039. By then I might have the skills for editing.
I also need suggestions for further changes. Any suggestion that works, I’ll consider.
I’ll need to make props, build sets, cast actors and do second-unit location shoots. I’m considering doing a Kickstarter one day.
This project will require watching those films too, but I’ve sat through the Holiday Special. It’s so bad, fans had to make edits to make it watchable. SavingStarWars made an Awesome Edition and put that on his YouTube channel. It’s an interesting edit. He plans to improve it one day.
Enough talking about the special though.
George Lucas for making these films so awful
Adywan for some ideas
This project is dedicated to the late, great Carrie Fisher, our Princess, Kenny Baker, the man in the tin can who had the courage to get through these films without having to use coke, and Gary Kurtz, producer of ANH and ESB.
Kathleen Kennedy, I know those Special Editions are “George’s vision”, but, please, won’t you release the OUT for us? It would be nice. 😢
-myself and the fans
P.S. Be careful not to CHOKE on your aspirations.
Updates on swptwatchable.wordpress.com