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THE CLONE WARS SAGA (Released) — Page 3

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ExpandedUniverses said:

Also, I wanted to ask if you enjoyed CORRUPTION ON MANDALORE? You gave a pretty good review of PATH OF THE PADAWAN, so I just wanted to see if you felt the same way about this installment.

It was worthwhile to watch, the story seemed fluent except at one point if I remember correctly: doesn’t have the timestamp at hand but as we hover over the Jedi temple and than cut to padme, ashoka and anakin walking. Is it inside of the Jedi temple? The cut doesn’t feel like it is the case.
It would have been nice to see some training of the clones („bad batch“), but this would have been something for the first episode.

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Any chances of uploading it on vimeo? 😀

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CMMAP said:

ExpandedUniverses said:

Also, I wanted to ask if you enjoyed CORRUPTION ON MANDALORE? You gave a pretty good review of PATH OF THE PADAWAN, so I just wanted to see if you felt the same way about this installment.

It was worthwhile to watch, the story seemed fluent except at one point if I remember correctly: doesn’t have the timestamp at hand but as we hover over the Jedi temple and than cut to padme, ashoka and anakin walking. Is it inside of the Jedi temple? The cut doesn’t feel like it is the case.

The exterior shot I used is of the Senate Building on Coruscant. The scene of Anakin, Ahsoka, and Padmé it cuts to also takes place inside the Senate Building, so I think it works fine.

It would have been nice to see some training of the clones („bad batch“), but this would have been something for the first episode.

About the clones, I decided that their storylines weren’t really important enough to receive a whole film (at least until Fives’ Order 66 plot and The Siege of Mandalore). While I do enjoy the stories of Domino Squad, Umbara, et cetera, they just didn’t impact the plot enough to fit into a “Saga” format.

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szopman said:

Any chances of uploading it on vimeo? 😀

Sorry, probably not. I don’t have a Vimeo account, but I’ve seen they have a history of taking down fanedits from their website. I don’t want to risk any copyright trouble with these fanedits, so I’m just sharing them discreetly via private messages on here.
Are the MEGA links not working for you?

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ExpandedUniverses said:

szopman said:

Any chances of uploading it on vimeo? 😀

Sorry, probably not. I don’t have a Vimeo account, but I’ve seen they have a history of taking down fanedits from their website. I don’t want to risk any copyright trouble with these fanedits, so I’m just sharing them discreetly via private messages on here.
Are the MEGA links not working for you?

Yeah, for some reason its not working 😔

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szopman said:

ExpandedUniverses said:

szopman said:

Any chances of uploading it on vimeo? 😀

Sorry, probably not. I don’t have a Vimeo account, but I’ve seen they have a history of taking down fanedits from their website. I don’t want to risk any copyright trouble with these fanedits, so I’m just sharing them discreetly via private messages on here.
Are the MEGA links not working for you?

Yeah, for some reason its not working 😔

Do you know resilio? If ExpandedUniverses grant me permission, I would share it with you.

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CMMAP said:

szopman said:

ExpandedUniverses said:

szopman said:

Any chances of uploading it on vimeo? 😀

Sorry, probably not. I don’t have a Vimeo account, but I’ve seen they have a history of taking down fanedits from their website. I don’t want to risk any copyright trouble with these fanedits, so I’m just sharing them discreetly via private messages on here.
Are the MEGA links not working for you?

Yeah, for some reason its not working 😔

Do you know resilio? If ExpandedUniverses grant me permission, I would share it with you.

Yeah, you can upload it there if that’ll help szopman access them. : )

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 (Edited)

This morning I had time to watch episode III. The amount of story you’ve chosen is sufficient and connects with the scenes, though this whole arc is relatively straight forward.
Story wise two things occurred to me:

  • the time ventress returns to dathomir and tells mother she needed time before returning - it is kind of odd because the plot is fast paced and we’ve no sense how long she has been gone, so leaving and the second return happens right after each other. My suggestion would be to fill in something, is there any footage usable?
  • at 1:26:22 ventress is leaving dathomir after mother told her, she have to follow her own path now, ventress is kind of left desperate in the Woods (wide shot from above). But 1:26:23 she suddenly travels to a new planet with a ship. Is there any footage of her acquiring this ship?

In retrospective I feel the last paragraph of the crawl should be changed. Yes, Palps orders Dokuu to kill ventress, but is it really a „evil scheme“? In my opinion it bloats the role of palpatine in this, even though he just orders a kill once without any further deep planing.

Technical criticism: you’ve to work on your audio transitions, there are to hard. Is there any chance you can do such things in iMovie?

  • 0:22:55/56; 0:44:10; 1:05:04; 1:26:23
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CMMAP said:

This morning I had time to watch episode III. The amount of story you’ve chosen is sufficient and connects with the scenes, though this whole arc is relatively straight forward.
Story wise two things occurred to me:

  • the time ventress returns to dathomir and tells mother she needed time before returning - it is kind of odd because the plot is fast paced and we’ve no sense how long she has been gone, so leaving and the second return happens right after each other. My suggestion would be to fill in something, is there any footage usable?
  • at 1:26:22 ventress is leaving dathomir after mother told her, she have to follow her own path now, ventress is kind of left desperate in the Woods (wide shot from above). But 1:26:23 she suddenly travels to a new planet with a ship. Is there any footage of her acquiring this ship?

Like the previous films, the scenes you’ve mention don’t exist. Ventress doesn’t appear at all between “Witches of the Mist” and “Massacre”, and her appearances prior to that are all still serving Dooku so there’s not really anything I could add in between those episodes. There’s also no scene of Ventress boarding the transport.
I think it can just be assumed based off of dialogue that Ventress has been gone for a while, and also the fade-to-black transition that Ventress left Dathomir to find a transport.

In retrospective I feel the last paragraph of the crawl should be changed. Yes, Palps orders Dokuu to kill ventress, but is it really a „evil scheme“? In my opinion it bloats the role of palpatine in this, even though he just orders a kill once without any further deep planing.

Well, his scheme is forcing his apprentice to betray his loyal assassin. I think that both Ventress and Dooku would view that as an evil scheme. And Dooku wouldn’t have betrayed Ventress without Palpatine’s orders, so Palpatine really did cause this whole series of events.
Anyway, I’m not planning on changing the crawls anymore —- I have to rewrite the whole thing, record it in the crawl creator, crop the crawl video to proper aspect ratio, then remake the whole film in iMovie —- which would be a lot of trouble over one phrase. And that’s not even mentioning the hours of rendering, checking the audio synchronization, uploading to the folder, and finally writing out a post to let everyone know about the changes.

Technical criticism: you’ve to work on your audio transitions, there are to hard. Is there any chance you can do such things in iMovie?

  • 0:22:55/56; 0:44:10; 1:05:04; 1:26:23

Did you watch the updated version? The transitions should be fine in that one, especially since I remade it solely for the purpose of fixing the transitions lol 😂

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ExpandedUniverses said:

Like the previous films, the scenes you’ve mention don’t exist. Ventress doesn’t appear at all between “Witches of the Mist” and “Massacre”, and her appearances prior to that are all still serving Dooku so there’s not really anything I could add in between those episodes. There’s also no scene of Ventress boarding the transport.
I think it can just be assumed based off of dialogue that Ventress has been gone for a while, and also the fade-to-black transition that Ventress left Dathomir to find a transport.

Of course it can be assumed, there is nothing wrong with that. It just felt kinda odd, for me personally. Since there is no source material to change this, this is way.

Well, his scheme is forcing his apprentice to betray his loyal assassin. I think that both Ventress and Dooku would view that as an evil scheme. And Dooku wouldn’t have betrayed Ventress without Palpatine’s orders, so Palpatine really did cause this whole series of events.
Anyway, I’m not planning on changing the crawls anymore —- I have to rewrite the whole thing, record it in the crawl creator, crop the crawl video to proper aspect ratio, then remake the whole film in iMovie —- which would be a lot of trouble over one phrase. And that’s not even mentioning the hours of rendering, checking the audio synchronization, uploading to the folder, and finally writing out a post to let everyone know about the changes.

So we just have a different opinion of an scheme. We agree to disagree.

Technical criticism: you’ve to work on your audio transitions, there are to hard. Is there any chance you can do such things in iMovie?

  • 0:22:55/56; 0:44:10; 1:05:04; 1:26:23

Did you watch the updated version? The transitions should be fine in that one, especially since I remade it solely for the purpose of fixing the transitions lol 😂

I’m pretty sure I watched the updated versions so far, cause I downloaded them this morning.

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Can you send me a link to download the movies?

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So, I watched the IV (cause its my favorite arc in the TCW) and Its in general a nice and enjoy Able experience.
Though, i think you d have to work on the opening crawl. In my opinion, if its too difficult to do (i imagine it can be), maybe think about other possibilities, like Solo / RO Type of crawl or even the 2003 CW Type of opening?

And I find the transition a Lil bit off, i think you could still work on them as well 😉

Anyway, nice work, thanks for doin it and sharing Man 😉

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szopman said:
Though, i think you d have to work on the opening crawl. In my opinion, if its too difficult to do (i imagine it can be), maybe think about other possibilities, like Solo / RO Type of crawl or even the 2003 CW Type of opening?

I spent a very long amount of time making the crawls that were used in the films, and I have no intention of altering these films any further. So the crawls will remain the same.

And I find the transition a Lil bit off, i think you could still work on them as well 😉

The transitions will not be changed anymore either. I remade these films already to address transition criticism, though it seems that everyone still dislikes my transitions. I do not know of anything further I can do to address this; though I’d like to use it, I don’t have the Star Wars-style feathered-wipe transition on my editing software.

And again, I don’t plan on changing these fanedits any further. These are amateur fanedits from an inexperienced editor, so please don’t expect the transitions to be perfect.

(Sorry if this sounded rude, that was not my intention. I’m just a little frustrated today.)

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I assume the intention by szopman is, as it was mine, to feed you with feedback, so you can grow on this, if you’re in to editing on the long run and become better. To see things that work or didn’t work narrative-wise as well as technical.
You’ve said in your opening post that your just beginning and at least for me, that was taken in consideration before applying feedback to you.

Your new project idea for episode viii sounds promising and fresh, so I encourage you to do it. Think about using another video software. use audacity for audio edits, if the software isn’t sufficiently enough.

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CMMAP said:

I assume the intention by szopman is, as it was mine, to feed you with feedback, so you can grow on this, if you’re in to editing on the long run and become better. To see things that work or didn’t work narrative-wise as well as technical.
You’ve said in your opening post that your just beginning and at least for me, that was taken in consideration before applying feedback to you.

The thing is, I’m not planning on seriously pursuing editing. I don’t particularly enjoy it, and usually end up frustrated. It’s just a hobby that I occasionally attempt when I get an idea of how a series could be condensed to a much less time-consuming form.

I really just made this project so me and my family could easily watch the Clone Wars without sitting through all the unimportant arcs. Then I thought “maybe the people on OriginalTrilogy.com would be interested in this?” so I posted it on here. I didn’t really expect to receive much criticism, because this definitely isn’t a professional project and from what I’ve seen, threads on this site don’t usually involve criticizing the editor.
But it’s fine, I understand what the intention behind your feedback was. Thanks for taking the time to watch my project, even if it’s not the highest quality.

Your new project idea for episode viii sounds promising and fresh, so I encourage you to do it. Think about using another video software. use audacity for audio edits, if the software isn’t sufficiently enough.

I’m not actually planning on making that. It was just an idea that I thought other editors might be interested in using.