TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released) — Page 85

Hi HAL,

Personally I’d vote to leave the holochess alone.

Fan service or not, it’s a nice call back and it doesn’t impact on the movie in any negative way.

In my opinion the strength of your edit’s is in not being overly brutal and only cutting or restructuring areas where there are narrative weakness’s or more effective means of strengthening or clarifying plot points or contrivances.

I would argue that when it comes to holochess existing within the movie, there wouldn’t be any significant benefit to the outcome or pacing of the scene to warrant it’s removal…at least not in my opinion based on my interpretaion of your vision for this particular project (which is to gently restructure rather than look at ways to cut it to the bare bone?)

In it’s current form TFA:AGR is my go to version of this movie and as per the above: even if you did remove holochess, that wouldn’t change my opinion on the larger body of work, so I’ll respect your decision either way.

My advice would be to just go with your gut on what you feel suits your vision best.

StarkillerAG said:

I agree with all the proposed changes, as long as you keep version 3.0 available. That way you have a purist version for people who prefer only minor changes, and a radical version for people who prefer radical changes.

All versions are up on the 'Spleen. I wouldn’t ask Hal to keep multiple versions on his own Google Drive as the file size adds up quickly.

I feel like this edit ought to have a title more like your other two for a nice match set.

Well, this title happened organically without thought of Eps 8 or 9 needing any work, and I’d hate to change it now. Would be confusing.

Is fine as it is.

I’d only repeat that the crawl could use a bit of tweaking in my opinion, though I’m sure you went with a lot of iterations with this, but everything else sounds amazing.

Hal 9000 said:

Anakin Starkiller said:

I feel like this edit ought to have a title more like your other two for a nice match set.

Well, this title happened organically without thought of Eps 8 or 9 needing any work, and I’d hate to change it now. Would be confusing.

You should do a new version that’s solely changes having to do with the restructure, then another version with all of your additional non-restructured changes (and a new title).

Also looks like a great edit HAL! Can someone guide me on getting a copy of V3?

Hal 9000 said:

Fair points, especially that last one; hadn’t considered that. I’ll have to consider that as I mock it up.

Eddy, do you have any specific ideas about the crawl? I like what we have now, but would hear you out.

Ah sorry, this hidden in an earlier post, my changes in bold:

The sinister FIRST ORDER plots its return to power, hidden in the ashes of the fallen Empire.

Failing to convince the NEW REPUBLIC to investigate this emerging threat, General Leia Organa mobilizes a covert RESISTANCE while the First Order completes a devastating new weapon.

Your crawl is far far better than theatrical, but I still felt it could be tweaked a bit to set the stage. Po is surprised to see the First Order ships, but we don’t know that should be surprising.

As you know, we don’t get any conference table scene describing the state of the galaxy till TROS, so I thought stronger language could make it clearer. But also your crawl is close enough, either way thankful for the edit.

Just building on Eddy’s idea for an opening crawl?

‘The sinister FIRST ORDER has risen from the ashes of the fallen Empire and plots to enslave the galaxy once again.

Having Failed to convince the NEW REPUBLIC of the emerging threat, General Leia Organa has formed a loyal RESISTANCE to strike back against the First Order as it moves to complete a devastating new weapon that will force the free galaxy back into submission…’

EddyMerkxs said:

Hal 9000 said:

Fair points, especially that last one; hadn’t considered that. I’ll have to consider that as I mock it up.

Eddy, do you have any specific ideas about the crawl? I like what we have now, but would hear you out.

Ah sorry, this hidden in an earlier post, my changes in bold:

The sinister FIRST ORDER plots its return to power, hidden in the ashes of the fallen Empire.

Failing to convince the NEW REPUBLIC to investigate this emerging threat, General Leia Organa mobilizes a covert RESISTANCE while the First Order completes a devastating new weapon.

Your crawl is far far better than theatrical, but I still felt it could be tweaked a bit to set the stage. Po is surprised to see the First Order ships, but we don’t know that should be surprising.

As you know, we don’t get any conference table scene describing the state of the galaxy till TROS, so I thought stronger language could make it clearer. But also your crawl is close enough, either way thankful for the edit.

That’s fair! It works either way so it’s fine to keep as is.

'Luke Skywalker has vanished!

In his absence, the sinister FIRST ORDER has risen from the ashes of the fallen Empire and plots to rule the free Galaxy once again.

Having Failed to convince the NEW REPUBLIC to take action against the emergent threat, General Leia Organa has formed a loyal RESISTANCE to strike back against the First Order as it moves to complete a devastating new weapon that will force the galaxy back into a new period of fear and tyranny

Desperate for her brothers help, Leia has sent her best pilot on a covert mission to Jakku, where an old ally holds a clue to Luke’s whereabouts…’

or a similar variation of the same thing but with a few changes:-

Luke Skywalker has gone into exile!

In his absence, the sinister FIRST ORDER has risen from the ashes of the fallen Empire and moves to complete a devastating new weapon that will enable them to rule the free galaxy once again.

Having Failed to convince the NEW REPUBLIC to take action against the emergent threat, General Leia Organa has formed a loyal RESISTANCE to strike back against the First Order before it plunges the galaxy into a new reign of fear and tyranny.

Desperate for her brothers help, Leia has sent her most trusted pilot on a covert mission to the remote planet of Jakku, where an old ally holds a clue to Luke’s whereabouts…’

Or you could mix and match any of a million different combinations…or just leave the original as it is 😃

-Remove Palpatine telling Rey to kill Kylo, since Rey doesn’t actually make any moves to kill him.

It would be just a thought it doesn’t have to show any movement.

-Keep the no-look shot out of the movie. It’s really dumb, and I don’t think the callback in TROS is worth putting it back in.

That escene doesn’t affect the quality of the movie overall and i don’t mind it , i think that the callbak to TROS is worth it , the more these movies feel connected to each other the better (that is one of the things that the ST needs the most)