Definitely works well!
Only issue is the quiet music starting 2:38, either 2:30-2:38 should be replaced with something quieter (or go unscored), or 2:39-2:48 should be replaced with something louder to keep the musical pace going.
Perhaps Hux’s “Fire!” should be made to sound a bit more like it is coming from a speaker? it sounds kind of silly coming out of the blue with so much clarity.
John Williams score to Return of the Jedi Remastered/Remixed: