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TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released) — Page 95

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 (Edited)

DZ-330 said:

Could Finn’s “you gotta boyfriend? a cute boyfriend?” be removed? A Rey/Finn romance is never established in the ST and it feels out of place. Plus it always felt kinda odd for Finn to be concerned about that during that moment.

My version cuts out the ‘cute boyfriend’ addendum but leaves the first mention, which I think works well. Taking out the whole boyfriend line doesn’t really work, since the scene becomes too abrupt without it.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite THE SHATTERED SWORD (Complete!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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Nah.

Save the Sebastian Shaw Ghost! Save the dream…!

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I’ll leave it. I’m positive I made that edit before to test it out and decided against it. No reason to reverse it and I’m ready to be allll done with TFA.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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 (Edited)

I have to admit its one of those small silly lines I’ve always ignored but yeah, it would be nice to watch that scene without hearing “a cute boyfriend?” 😬

“We Are What They Grow Beyond” - Yoda


My Prefered Saga Viewing Preference:
Ep. III - Revenge of the Sith Special Edition (StankPac Edit) * Rogue One - A Star Wars Story (Hal 9000 Edit)
Ep. IV - A New Hope D+77 (OohTeeDee Edit) * Ep. V - Empire Strikes Back D+80 (OohTeeDee Edit)
Ep. VI - Return of The Jedi OTD83 (OohTeeDee Edit) * Ep. VII - The Force Awakens Restructured (Hal 9000 Edit)
Ep. VIII - The Last Jedi Legendary (Hal 9000 Edit) * Ep. IX - The Rise of Skywalker Ascendant (Hal 9000 Edit)

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 (Edited)

I particularly enjoy HAL’s suggestion in the commentary that Korr Sella (Leia’s envoy) is “that girl from Doctor Who”, despite her not being played by Freema Agyeman or any other actress who ever appeared in Doctor Who.

Yeah, I somehow still haven’t finished watching this two hour commentary track despite starting days ago…

Edit:
“Final scenes in Star Wars don’t have dialogue.”
(':

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Wow, really? I thought for sure…

JEDIT: ALLOL, I just looked up pictures and yeah… she looks nothing like who I was thinking of. I am guessing I heard someone refer to her that way around the time of TFA’s release, and assumed it was true.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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Hey also V5 is up. I fully intend this as final. I feel good about TFA: Restructured and reiterate my gratitude for the help in realizing that original idea.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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Is there a way for us to know what’s new to the change list, Hal?

Noah Lawson

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There is an issue I feel needs to be addressed… it’s established in the actual film that the Falcon cannot jump to lightspeed because of the compressor (until Rey turns it off during the Rathar sequence so Han can jump to lightspeed), yet you had the Falcon jump to lightspeed after the chase on Jakku.

You also removed Rey saving Finn from the Rathar; the whole point of that scene was to show Rey now caring for Finn despite initially disliking him.

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TestingOutTheTest said:

There is an issue I feel needs to be addressed… it’s established in the actual film that the Falcon cannot jump to lightspeed because of the compressor (until Rey turns it off during the Rathar sequence so Han can jump to lightspeed), yet you had the Falcon jump to lightspeed after the chase on Jakku.

I always read turning off the compressor as an extra step before each jump, so Rey would have known to turn it off when escaping Jakku but Han was unaware after the Rathtars.

You also removed Rey saving Finn from the Rathar; the whole point of that scene was to show Rey now caring for Finn despite initially disliking him.

Pretty sure that the entire Falcon chase across Jakku and subsequent excited summarizing established that Rey had come to appreciate Finn’s contribution.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite THE SHATTERED SWORD (Complete!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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Hadn’t thought of that, but I agree that it need not pose a problem.

Also, V5 is mostly a glitch-fix. And mostly in the interest of finding something to change, I borrowed from NeverAr to remove the holochess cameo. Otherwise it’s the same as V4. The impetus was the video glitches; I didn’t want to leave things that way.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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Hal 9000 said:

Hadn’t thought of that, but I agree that it need not pose a problem.

Also, V5 is mostly a glitch-fix. And mostly in the interest of finding something to change, I borrowed from NeverAr to remove the holochess cameo. Otherwise it’s the same as V4. The impetus was the video glitches; I didn’t want to leave things that way.

So the only change made was the holochess removal? Okay, was expecting a bit more to tie in better with IX.

Noah Lawson

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I’m okay with what’s here, and don’t want to remain on the hook for TFA or TLJ. I don’t really even want TROS to be able to lean back and take too much of a piss on them, either. I’m happy with how the fan edits turned out and wish anyone sincere luck who’d like to alter them further.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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Hal 9000 said:

I’m okay with what’s here, and don’t want to remain on the hook for TFA or TLJ. I don’t really even want TROS to be able to lean back and take too much of a piss on them, either. I’m happy with how the fan edits turned out and wish anyone sincere luck who’d like to alter them further.

I know, but when fixing the trilogy, you would hope there to be continuity with these edits, but because they are yours, you can change whatever you’d like about them.

Noah Lawson

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I didn’t see anything else to really do in the name of cohesion, anyway. Both movies have a couple small hints toward Palpatine, but there’s nothing else I see to do.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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Someone did mention to make the rainy location with Kylo Ren and the Knights of Ren in Rey’s Force vision look like Exegol. Just color correct it from cold blue to grey and add the red cracks to his mask. It could work, but the question still remains, who were they even killing in that vision? Thieves, I think.

Noah Lawson

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I’ve noticed this need to fit in a few more changes on other edit threads. I know Hal’s Sequel Trilogy has been heavily collaborative, which is why I think people hope to see certain major changes to be made to this edit, because they see it as the definitive edit, but at the end of the day Hal is the one who has to implement the changes and export them. After a certain point, though, I think they have to be finalized. Not just for Hal’s sake, but also so they can become stepping stones for future edits, and be remembered for their place in the tapestry of fan edits. Kind of a flowery description, I know, but I think we sort of have to accept when one edit’s purpose has been served, and when it is time to move on to a new edit, or make your own.

With that said, I do it would be nice to give context to that part of the vision, but that might just be something for another TFA edit.

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Thanks, RogueLeader. I think that’s about it. I did look at the scene and I wasn’t able to make it much more similar to Exegol than it already is. The red in his mask is an interesting idea, but it may be weird for an first time viewer. Either way, I’m happy with this version and am ready to call it final.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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sade1212 said:

I particularly enjoy HAL’s suggestion in the commentary that Korr Sella (Leia’s envoy) is “that girl from Doctor Who”, despite her not being played by Freema Agyeman or any other actress who ever appeared in Doctor Who.

Yeah, I somehow still haven’t finished watching this two hour commentary track despite starting days ago…

Edit:
“Final scenes in Star Wars don’t have dialogue.”
(':

She is from Legends of Tomorrow, which is basically Doctor Who if DW was made by The CW rather than the BBC.

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To be fair she looks a lot more like who I was thinking of during the one shot in which she appears in TFA. And that assumption was powerful enough by the time we got the deleted scene that it didn’t get challenged.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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Not to be a naysayer but after viewing V5 the one changed you made sticks out to me. Rey now teleports into a position where she clearly wasn’t…

TPM ROTJ ESB TFA TLJ TROS ROTS ANH SOLO RO ATOC
TFA:R https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/TFA-A-Gentle-Restructure-Released/id/50117
TLJ:R https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/The-Last-Jedi-Rekindled-Released-V3-UPDATE/id/61939
TROS:A https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/The-Rise-of-Skywalker-Ascendant-WIP/id/71835/page/1