My thoughts on the “new” Snoke scene:
I think the scene works better with Hux acknowledging the destruction of Hosnian Prime but I can see the difficulties with making this work. The current wording was weird and it also sounds cobbled together. But maybe something could be put together from other sources, like other movies with Domnhall Gleeson.
However, if this doesn’t work and Hux starts with telling Snoke about the Resistance base and it is thus implied that they talked about the Republic before that, then the scene shouldn’t start with Hux saying “Supreme Leader” as that’s not something he’d say in the middle of a conversation.
And in any case, I think it’d be great if the Resistance somehow reacted to the imminent second attack. I don’t know all the details of what you’re planning for V2, so maybe that’s already in or maybe there’s no way to even do that, but I think it’d improve this restructure.