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Stargate Reimagined: Part I *COMPLETE* — Page 2



Kasuf’s entourage leads the away team members through the streets on toward the heart of Nagada. A growing throng of captivated townspeople follow along behind them, eagre to look upon these otherworldly visitors from another place.

As this grand procession is underway, we’re finally afforded a clear picture of Nagadan culture; Nagada is essentially ancient Egypt if ancient Egypt had managed to survive into the 19th century. While the architecture recalls the stone temples at Luxor and Karnak, the presence of carriages, advanced plumbing, and gas lamp posts brings to mind Europe or the Americas around the turn of the last century.

As they walk, Kasuf and Daniel converse, trying desperately to break through the language barrier between them but making little leeway. A little ways away from the two men, the girl who had washed Daniel’s face keeps sneaking glances at him, drawn to him but too shy to hold her gaze on him for more than a couple seconds.

Meanwhile, back a ways from those three, O’Neal walks more-or-less alone. That’s when NABEH – a Nagadan boy who suffers from hydrocephalus, from the looks of him – abruptly bumps into the American. O’Neal spins around, giving the boy a silent, dirty look. Nabeh, face slack, near-whispers an apology and backs away from the intimidating man. Come to the finalization that Nabeh is no threat, O’Neal faces forward and resumes his march.

The slack expression on Nabeh’s face then disappears, replaced with a large, crooked smile. Looking down, he examines the shiny metal cigarette lighter he managed to pick from O’Neal’s pocket. Turning to his friend, who happens to be Skarra, he presents the lighter to him.

SKARRA: (irritated) Nabeh!

Smacking Nabeh across the head, Skarra wrenches the lighter out of the other boy’s hand and speed-walks up to O’Neal. As he taps the colonel on the shoulder, the colonel turns around, facing the boy with as much hostility he showed Nabeh. When Skarra shows him the lighter, though, much of the harshness leaves his features and he takes the lighter back with a nod of thanks.

Finally, they all come to their destination. At the heart of the city stands the Palace of the Elders. A multi-tiered step pyramid 24 metres high with a base 55.3 metres across, it brings to mind the Pyramid of Djoser back on Earth.


Kasuf leading the way, the Earthlings are brought into the atrium of the palace where several servants – paid and indentured alike – lounge about in relaxation while on breaks and in between shifts. With a majestic sweep of his arm, Kasuf signals them all to stand at attention, and they quickly obey, halting in mid-step or rising from their couches and reclining cushions, eyes and ears intent upon the next signal from their master or his visitors.

Striding forth to the back of the chamber, Kasuf turns on his heel toward the newcomers, planting the end of his staff down upon the floor with a loud CLACK. Uttering a litany in reverent tones, Kasuf then bows to the Earthlings, the palace servants quickly mirroring his actions. As they bow, a large purple curtain – which had been hiding the back wall from view – is raised, revealing a large metal disc affixed to the red granite behind it. Wrought from tarnished copper, it is a larger cousin to the gold pendant worn about Daniel’s neck, bearing the same symbol of the stylized human eye.

DANIEL: (examining the disc) The Eye of Horus. (to his companions) He’s the Egyptian sky god. I think they think he sent us here.

O’NEAL: Yeah? (takes hold of Daniel’s pendant) I wonder what could’ve given them that idea.

Approaching Kasuf, Daniel brings forth the pendant.

DANIEL: Horus?

When Kasuf frowns quizzically, Daniel gives himself a mental slap in the head; the elder wouldn’t know the falcon god by his Hellenized name.


That draws a reaction, but not quite the one Daniel expected.

KASUF: (shakes his head) Na’nay, na’nay! (points to his eye then the disc) Atum! Atum!

DANIEL: (perplexed) Atum?

KAWALSKY: Another friend of yours?

DANIEL: Atum was the primordial god, parent of the air and rain deities Shu and Tefnut. He was worshipped as the father of creation until later generations sidelined him in favour of the sun god Ra. (beat) He was never associated with this symbol.

O’NEAL: So, they know the Egyptian gods and one Egyptian symbol. (beat) Jackson, would you say it would stand to reason if they know one Egyptian symbol …?

DANIEL: (awareness dawning) … they’ll know others! We can write to one another. Let me try.

Daniel begins rifling through his pockets in search of paper and a pen or pencil.

DANIEL: Uh … anybody have a pad of paper, maybe a pencil?

Brown fishes out a small pad and a pen and hands both to the unorthodox Egyptologist. Taking them, he writes a message in Egyptian hieroglyphs. Once he has finished, he hands the pen and pad to Kasuf. Taking the two items, the elder studies the message, scrutinizing the words, then scrawls out his own message.

Taking the pad, Daniel looks Kasuf’s response over, face lighting up with hope. The nascent smile quickly dies on his lips.

KAWALSKY: (frowns) What?

Daniel presents the pad to the others. Beneath Daniel’s clearly written hieroglyphs is a line of unrecognizable cursive script.

DANIEL: These aren’t hieroglyphs. I don’t know what they are. I certainly can’t read them.

BROWN: Back to Square One ….

At that very moment, the great horn stationed at the city gate is blown. The foghorn blast is carried through the air to the palace, where it can still be heard with clarity even from those distances. Hearing the call, the palace servants go into a frenzy.

Brown’s radio then crackles to life.

BROWN: (puts the radio to his ear) Come in, come in! (beat) Feretti, I can’t hear you. (to O’Neal) Sir, I can’t make this out!

O’NEAL: (takes up his own radio) Feretti, say again.


A thick, furious sandstorm has come out of nowhere and hit the base camp with full, vicious force. Reilly, Porro, and Freeman hurry to pack up their equipment while Feretti attends to the radio, stinging sand relentlessly pelting them all.

FERETTI: (into radio) Must abandon base camp! Repeat: must abandon base camp!

PORRO: It’s useless! It won’t work in this!

FERETTI: (to the other men) Alright! Let’s go! Let’s move! Everybody back inside!

Abandoning the radio, Feretti hurries to take what he can carry and head straight for the shelter of the pyramid.


O’Neal steps out. Raising a hand over his eyes to cut down the suns’ glare, he sees just what it is that caused the horn to be blown; the roiling clouds of billowing sand from the approaching sandstorm buffet the front wall of Nagada, threatening to blow over and through the rest of the city.

KAWALSKY: (joining O’Neal) What is it, Colonel?

O’NEAL: Sandstorm, coming this way. (beat) We’ll have to stay here until it’s over.

O’Neal then turns around and heads back inside.

Divergent Universes
Dreams of a Randy Git-Fiend

Make Off Topic great again.



Daniel, Kawalsky, O’Neal, and Brown have all been invited to dinner. At the long rectangular table sit the four Terrans, Kasuf, the other elders of Nagada, and the immediate family members of the elders; as her presence at the table would imply, the shy girl who has caught Daniel’s fancy is one such relative.

As Brown jams with the troupe of musicians present – improvising some blues tunes on a zither-like instrument – Daniel’s eyes wander hungrily over all the various platters and bowls of unfamiliar yet mouth-watering food which take up space along the table of polished dark green wood.

KAWALSKY: (wary) I don’t think we should eat anything.

DANIEL: I don’t know (forks three of what appear to be lemon-yellow crepes onto his plate) – they might consider that an insult.

At that very moment, a male server bearing a large gold cloche enters the chamber. Sidling up to the table, he places the cloche down in the centre. Daniel virtually begins to drool in anticipation of what lies beneath the cover.

As Brown comes to the table, the server lifts the cover away, revealing a roasted, gray, turkey-sized lizard.

DANIEL: (dumbfounded) …

BROWN: (disgusted) They can’t seriously expect us to eat this, can they?

Kasuf beckons for them to give the reptile flesh a taste.

KAWALSKY: (grins) Well, we don’t want to offend them, do we, Daniel?

BROWN: It could be poisonous. None of us should eat it.

O’NEAL: He’s right, Kawalsky; we can’t afford to lose Jackson. Taste it.

Fighting the urge to commit insubordination, Kawalsky picks up a knife and fork and – with the elders’ nods of approval – slices off a drumstick and sets it down on his plate. Picking up the drumstick, he takes one, small, tentative bite.


KAWALSKY: (smiles) Tastes like chicken.

DANIEL: Does it seem safe?

KAWALSKY: How should I know? (takes another, larger bite) Ask ‘em if they’ve got any salt.

With Kasuf waiting to know what his guests think of the main course they’ve prepared for them, Daniel prepares to set his fears to rest.

DANIEL: Tastes good, uh, you know, it’s … bonniwae!

KASUF: (mortified) Bonniwae!?

Horror morphing into indignation, Kasuf calls out the chefs, rebuking them harshly with grand, sweeping gestures of his hands.

DANIEL: (waves his hands) No! Not bonniwae! Tastes like chicken. Chic-ken.

To help convey his message, Daniel stands up. Tucking in his arms, he begins to flap them.

DANIEL: Bock! Bock, bock, bock!

O’NEIL: Quit while you’re ahead, Jackson.

Heedless of the colonel’s suggestion, Daniel continues to flap his arms and cluck until he finally gets the idea across.

DANIEL: (takes a piece of lizard meat and eats it) Tastes like chicken – good!

Kasuf grins with satisfaction.


Feretti, Freeman, Reilly, and Porro have fled the storm into the sheltering confines of the entrance hall, where they lounge about waiting out the storm.

Feretti sits upon the sandy floor, trying to get through to the men in Nagada through his hand-held radio.

FREEMAN: You’re wasting the batteries. We’re not gonna get any kinda signal in this storm. We’re gonna have to wait ‘til it passes.

FERETTI: (sets down radio) Yeah, right – if it passes.

Standing up, Feretti makes a step towards the door, then decides to turn back and return to his companions.

FERETTI: Y’know, I was stationed in the Middle East for two years, and I never saw anything like this. Not even close.

FREEMAN: (rolls eyes) Yeah, yeah ….

REILLY: I don’t get it. Why don’t we just try and turn the stargate on ourselves. I mean, how hard can it be?

FERETTI: (sardonic) Hey, there’s an idea! (beat) We could turn the wheel in the wrong order and materialize 20,000 leagues under an alien sea. Have you got any freakin’ idea how many millions upon millions of possible combinations there are on that thing?!

FREEMAN: (wry) No, how many?

FERETTI: (points at Freeman) Shut up, okay?

Getting nothing but laughter at his expense from his three companions, Feretti waves them off and goes to the entrance. Propping his back up against the wall, he listens to the howl of the wind. As he stands there, listening intently, he picks up a new sound: a low HUM, decidedly unnatural and unrelated to the howling wind.


As the sandstorm stirs sand through the air, cutting off all natural sunlight, casting the towering pyramid into premature twilight, unnatural silver light from some unseen source begins to radiate upon the apex of the structure.


The unnatural hum grows louder. As it does so, the very pyramid itself begins to tremble; sand and dust trapped in the crevices of the entrance hall rains down upon the floor; all the equipment set upon the floor begin rattling from where they rest. Alarmed, the four non-coms bolt to their feet.

PORRO: What the hell is going on?!


We finally see just what it is casting that uncanny hum and silver light; it is the Lady of Slaughter, an immense starship the exact shape of the stone pyramid, descending from the heavens.


The hum has intensified into an overbearing mechanical drone. Feretti, Reilly, Freeman, and Porro collect their weapons, Feretti cocking his M9 pistol while the others feed fresh magazines into their P90s.


Being hollow on the underside, the Lady of Slaughter is able to slip down over the stone pyramid like one gigantic glove. As it closes over the pyramid, built-up energy is discharged from the ship’s engines, raining several bolts of artificial lightning down upon the ancient monument.


Once the pyramid ship has touched down, a heavy vibration rattles the pyramid to its foundations, knocking the Americans off their feet. They quickly get back up, nervous and edgy, trigger fingers itching.


The Lady’s docking clamps slide into place. The ship then lights up as the seemingly solid faces of the pyramidal craft split open, revealing themselves to consist of separate panels which then slide apart, exposing glowing machinery underneath.


FERETTI: Alright – spread out!

The four non-coms spread out through the confines of the entrance hall, taking positions at various pillars, on the lookout for enemy forces.


Peering through the eyes of a HOSTILE ENTITY, we leave the pitch black antechamber, emerging into the entrance hall.

Moving with silent grace, this being goes on the offensive. Moving sight unseen, it sneaks up on Reilly, then Porro, then Freeman; eschewing the sidearm it carries on its person, it knocks each of the trained men down with heavy blows from its armoured hand; they all go down before they have a chance to catch a glimpse of this assailant, let alone open fire on it.


Feretti, now left to face this enigmatic beast alone.

As a black shape comes out of the gloom for him, Feretti is fast to bring his sidearm to bear, emptying the whole clip into the thing. The bullets hit with pinpoint accuracy but carom right off, ricocheting away without leaving the least impact on their target. An armoured gauntlet emerges in the sparse light and Feretti goes down, knocked flat on his back, nose red and wet with fresh blood.

Swooning but still conscious, Feretti gazes up at what sent him sprawling. Eyes bulging, mouth dropping agape, he freezes, petrified with absolute terror.


A full body shot of SIHATHOR. A behemoth of living, iridescent green-black crystalline stone, he looks down upon his prey, his stance reeking of contempt for this weak human left at his mercy before him.

Now out of the shadows, we can finally see what passes for his head; it is exoskeletal, in the shape of a falcon’s, equipped with a pair of baleful eyes that glow an intense turquoise.

Divergent Universes
Dreams of a Randy Git-Fiend

Make Off Topic great again.



Daniel, in the suite provided him by the Elders of Nagada, is currently armpit-deep in the water of a spacious bathtub, absorbed in the task of washing himself clean of all the dirt and sweat accumulated since his arrival on this extrasolar planet. Once finished, he rises from the tub, wrapping a towel about his waist.


As Daniel steps into his bedroom chambers, he finds a surprise in wait for him; SEVEN NUBILE WOMEN, all naked save for the jewelled pectoral necklaces about their shoulders and skirts of translucent linen about their hips, seated in alluring poses upon his king-sized bed.

DANIEL: (shocked) …

Rising, the seven women all but glide towards him. Encircling him, kohl-lined eyes beckoning him to come hither, they take hold of his fine body and guide him to the bed.

DANIEL: (surprised) Uh, I … I ….

Six of the girls sit him down upon the mattress then gently push him down into a reclining position.

DANIEL: (cont’d) I’m – I’m very flattered, ladies – I really, really am. But –

The seventh girl then climbs atop Daniel and strips him of his towel. Straddling him, she then rips away her skirt. Captivated by her full breasts and enticing hips, Daniel feels his urge toward resistance weakening.

DANIEL: Okay, maybe we can make this work …. (shakes his head) No! No, we can’t!

Bolting upright, Daniel pushes the girl off him and brushes the others aside, leaving the bed. Still intent on helping this young Terran sow his oats, the seven go after him.


The young shy girl with the wavy black hair is making her way down the hall, ready to retire to her suite for the night, when Daniel emerges from his quarters, struggling to slip on his green pants with the near-naked nymphomaniacs after him. Frantic, he comes to her and stops her in the hall.

DANIEL: (turns toward the women, placing an arm around the girl) I’ve found my … uh … companion for the evening, so your services won’t be required. You can go on your way, now. I’ll be fine, just fine. (smiles)

Understanding Daniel in spite of the language barrier between them, the seven scantily-clad women depart, clearly dejected.


Guiding the girl inside, he seats her down on a sofa. Taking a chair, he places it before her and sits down, eyes intent upon her. Taking this as a command to undress, she pulls the shoulders of her white dress down, evidently uncomfortable as she moves to uncover her breasts.

DANIEL: (surprised) I’m sorry! You don’t have to do that!

Acting fast, Daniel stops her and pulls her dress back in place.

DANIEL: (cont’d) I just wanted to get them (nods toward the door) out of here. (beat) I thought maybe we could just talk for awhile.

An awkward silence reigns between them.

DANIEL: Uh … Daniel. (points to himself)

SHY GIRL: (points to herself) Daniel.

DANIEL: (shakes his head) No, I’m Daniel. (tucks pendant away inside his shirt) I’m Daniel.

Awareness dawns in the girl’s eyes.

SHY GIRL: (smiles shyly; points to herself) Sha’ure.

DANIEL: (smiles) Sha’ure ….

An idea coming to him, Daniel stands up. Placing his hand on Sha’ure’s shoulder, he gently stands her up and guides her over to a desk with sheets of paper, a reed pen, and an inkwell atop it.

DANIEL: I know we don’t share a common writing system, but I thought maybe ….

Taking the reed pen, he dips it in the inkwell. Taking one of the sheets of paper, he draws a ring.

DANIEL: We came from the stargate.

He draws nine "V"s inside the ring, representing the gate’s chevrons.

DANIEL: (cont’d) You know, stargate? Two-storey stone ring with thirty-nine little pictures engraved on it?

Sha’ure doesn’t seem to know about the stargate.

DANIEL: (sighs) It’s okay. Nevermind. It’s okay.

Turning, Daniel goes over to the door, opening it a crack and peaking out to see if the seven women are truly gone.

While his back is turned, Sha’ure takes up the pen and brings out a fresh sheet of paper; she quickly draws her own picture. Finished, she turns and walks up to Daniel, tapping him gently on the shoulder. As he turns to face her, she holds up the drawing.

There, in bold strokes of black ink, is a set of crude, not-quite-accurately-drawn Egyptian hieroglyphs.

DANIEL: (shocked) Hieroglyphs! (beat) You know these symbols? (points to his eyes then the paper) You’ve seen these symbols?

Sha’ure nods.

DANIEL: Show me. (holds out his hand) You show me.

Gingerly, Sha’ure takes Daniel’s hand.

Divergent Universes
Dreams of a Randy Git-Fiend

Make Off Topic great again.



Semi-conscious, Feretti finds Sihathor dragging him by the leg through a corridor in the pyramid ship. Gazing up, he is mortified as he passes through a quartet of creatures – creatures with bodies of flesh but mechanical heads akin to Sihathor’s, their gemlike eyes glowing a fierce green within the recesses of their felinoid faces.


Coming to the entrance to a grand, opulently-furnished bedroom, Sihathor releases Feretti, depositing him there in the threshold. Stepping deep inside the bedroom, he comes to a quite spacious bed and kneels down before it, supplicating himself to the occupant reclining beneath the covers. Cautiously raising his head, Feretti watches as the individual atop the bed sits up with fluid, cat-like grace, casting a clear silhouette of exemplary femininity.

The silhouette apparently catches notice of Feretti’s voyeurism, for with one subtle tilt of its head, Sihathor turns right around, gazing upon the human with his turquoise eyes burning venomously. Reaching to his thigh, he unholsters his sidearm: a double-barreled over/under energy rifle. Taking aim, the creature of green-black stone triggers the secondary barrel, discharging a beam of blue-green electrical energy right into Feretti’s face with a corresponding ZAT.


Atop one of the hairy pack animals – a mastadge, as Daniel has learned from Sha’ure – the pair has ridden out from Nagada into the deep desert. Before their departure, Daniel put on a fresh shirt and Sha’ure a pair of khaki overalls and boots, preparing them for whatever awaits them out here.

Coming to what appears to be a small, tetrahedral dune, Sha’ure brings the mastadge to a halt and leaps off. Daniel climbing off the mastadge and joining her, Sha’ure directs him over to a small alcove in the dune, where she gets down on her knees and begins clearing out sand. With Daniel’s assistance, a sufficient amount of sand is cleared out in short order, revealing that the recess is actually a window – a window in the top floor of an ancient building which has lain submerged in the desert sands since time immemorable.


Igniting the oil in a pair of lanterns, Sha’ure and Daniel enter through the window. Sweeping his lantern about, Daniel casts light into each and every nook and cranny of this room he is in. Though empty and featureless save for the sand which has crept in and accumulated upon the floor over the uncounted centuries, an open doorway leads out into darkness, promising greater discoveries beyond.

DANIEL: What is this place?

Taking the lead, Sha’ure directs Daniel through the doorway.


Having worked their way down to the bottom floor of this buried ruin, Sha’ure leads Daniel into an old, dusty hallway. While the dry bones of long-dead people litter the floor at odd intervals, Daniel’s more interested in what’s on the walls: lines upon lines of ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs.

DANIEL: (reading the hieroglyphs) Naadas yan tu yeewah. Suma’ehmay ra ma yedat. (beat) Nandas sikma ti yu na’nay ashay.

SHA’URE: Seekhma?

Startled, Daniel turns to Sha’ure.

DANIEL: (points to a drawing of amassed children) Sikma?

SHA’URE: (points at same drawing) Seekhma.

DANIEL: (ecstatic) Yes! Yes, sikma, children! Of course!

Having at last found a common word between them, Daniel singles out another image – an image of the cat-headed goddess Ubaste.

DANIEL: Nefer? (beat) Nef-ear? Najfar?

SHA’URE: Neyoum ifar!

DANIEL: Nay-youm-ee-far? (practices saying the word several more times) Sha’ure, teach me to speak. Uh, teach – takera? Tekira? Sha’ure takera Daniel, okay?

SHA’URE: Sha’ure tahki-yeer Daniel.

They both smile.


Night has come and gone. With the rising of the three suns, the away team’s third day on the other side of the stargate has been ushered in.

Already awake, O’Neil sits at a small table, absorbed in his thoughts when he hears a KNOCK at the door.

O’NEAL: It’s open.

The door opens a crack and Skarra leans his head inside.

O’NEAL: What is it?

Opening the door wider, Skarra rolls in a service trolley laden with cleaning products and fresh linens. Apparently, Skarra works as a servant here in the palace.

O’NEAL: (waves him inside) Go ahead.

As Skarra goes to work sprucing up the place, he comes across O’Neal’s equipment which has been deposited on the sofa. Poking around in it, he fishes out O’Neal’s lighter. Flipping it open, he tries to make out its function.

O’NEAL: It’s a lighter. (holds out his hand) Here, let me show you.

Coming to the table, Skarra hands the lighter to the colonel. Reaching into his pants, he pulls out his pack of cigarettes and fishes out a cigarette. Flipping open the lighter, he ignites the flame and lights the cigarette.

O’NEAL: (takes a drag) See? Lighter. (hands it to Skarra)

Taking the lighter, Skarra ignites his own flame. Absolutely captivated by this unusual fire-making tool, he smiles.

O’NEAL: (smiles faintly) Yeah, it’s pretty fabulous.

Pointing at O’Neal’s cigarette pack, the Nagadan boy asks him a question.

O’NEAL: (shrugs) Go for it.

Reaching for the pack, Skarra takes one of the cigarettes and lights it. After O’Neal flicks ash away and takes another puff from his smoke, Skarra mirrors his actions – the latter resulting in a violent coughing fit. Throwing the cigarette to the floor and frenetically stamping it out, he looks to O’Neal, disgusted and dumbfounded at the idea that O’Neal could derive any pleasure from inhaling these noxious fumes.

O’NEAL: (smiles) Yeah, you’re right. It’s pretty stupid. (butts out his own cigarette)

When Skarra hands the lighter back to O’Neal, the colonel raises his hand to ward him off.

O’NEAL: Keep it. It’s yours.

Understanding that O’Neal has gifted the lighter to him, Skarra nods his thanks.

Divergent Universes
Dreams of a Randy Git-Fiend

Make Off Topic great again.



Sometime later, O’Neal has met up with Brown inside the palace atrium. As Brown fiddles around with his radio, trying to re-establish contact with the men at the base camp, O’Neal takes a gander at his watch, which reads 20:00.

BROWN: No use – I can’t raise ‘em.

O’NEAL: More interference?

BROWN: (shakes his head) Nothing but dead air. There should at least be a tracking signal, but I’m not getting anything at all.

KAWALSKY: (O.C.) Colonel!

Twisting around, O’Neal finds Kawalsky just coming in through the atrium’s main entrance, carrying a green military jacket.

KAWALSKY: Jackson’s not in his quarters. I’ve been looking everywhere, but I can’t find him.

O’NEAL: What’s that you’re holding?

KAWALSKY: (holds up Daniel’s jacket) His jacket.

Looking over to the fountain located at the centre of the atrium, O’Neal spots Skarra loitering there with his friends, entertaining them with his recently acquired lighter.

O’NEAL: (takes the jacket from Kawalsky) Wait here.

Walking over to the fountain, O’Neal presents the green jacket to the teenaged cadre.

O’NEAL: We’re looking for Jackson, the guy who wears this jacket?

Blank stares.

O’NEAL: Jackson … Jackson. We’re looking for Jackson.

More blank stares.

O’NEAL: (sighs) Jackson – wears glasses so he can see? (mimes wearing glasses)

The kids mime his gesture.

O’NEAL: (sighs) I guess the word “dork” doesn’t mean a thing to you guys, does it? (beat) I’m on Tatooine, looking for a dork who wears glasses, who wears this jacket, and (fakes a sneeze) sneezes.

SKARRA: (realization dawning) Ah! Bock! Bock, bock, bock!

Skarra and the others break out in a series of clucks and arm-flapping, imitating Daniel’s chicken impression at the feast last night.

O’NEAL: (grins) Yeah, that’s right. Chicken Man. Where’s Chicken Man?

Skarra brings the impromptu chicken dance to an end. Taking the green jacket out of O’Neal’s hands, he gestures for the colonel to follow him.


Entering the stables, Skarra, Nabeh, and a few of the other palace servants lead O’Neal, Kawalsky, and Brown inside. Moving up to one of the stalls, Skarra holds Daniel’s jacket out to the mastadge enclosed inside, letting the creature take the aroma of the doctor’s dried, stale sweat deep inside its large nostrils.

Once Skarra is certain the mastadge has caught Daniel’s scent, he opens the stall, allowing the animal to lumber out. As the mastadge leaves the stables, the kids and the airmen are quick to follow after the creature.


Daniel is sitting in the dust with Sha’ure, exchanging words, when O’Neal and the others emerge from the darkness.

O’NEAL: Looks like you found what you were looking for.

Startled by this newfound, completely unexpected, presence, Daniel nearly leaps up out of his skin.

DANIEL: (startled) You scared the hell out of me! (stands) How did you get down here?

Frowning, O’Neal steps up close to Daniel.

O’NEAL: I thought you didn’t speak their language.

DANIEL: It’s related to ancient Egyptian. Like the rest of their culture, it’s evolved independently. But once you start to learn the vowels –

O’NEAL: (irate) Just answer the question.

DANIEL: Well, I can’t – not yet. I’ve found some common words between the two languages, though – words which, in spite of the thousands of years of linguistic drift between them, still remain remarkably similar.

O’NEAL: (frustrated) Give it to me in English, Jackson.

DANIEL: (sighs) I’ve just started to learn how to pronounce it.

BROWN: (examining the hieroglyphic inscriptions) This place is a damn trip. It looks like King Tut’s tomb got turned into a subway station full of graffiti.

Noticing the hieroglyphs for what seems to be the first time, O’Neal, too, begins to look them over.

O’NEAL: What does it say in here, Jackson?

DANIEL: Well, it’s … it’s, well, it’s simply unbelievable. (beat) These walls tell the story of the original settlers of Abdju – this planet – who came here some twelve thousand years ago.

Moving up to one of the lines of text, Daniel begins to read.



From a pair of twin white moons situated in a violet sky and through the open torus of an inactive stargate. The stargate stands erect on the end of a long, wide, stone causeway – a causeway which stretches out to meet a complex of five metal pyramidal docking stations situated in the distance. Save for one solitary pyramid, all the stations have inert pyramid ships docked atop them.

DANIEL: (V.O.) A traveller, from distant stars, escaped a dying world looking for a way to extend his own life ….


Leaving the controls of his ship, THE OTHER walks up to what appears to be a highly complex mechanical sarcophagus. A five-foot-tall humanoid, the creature has wrinkled, brown-gray skin; a pair of featureless black eyes; a striated, reptilian mouth; a small, black extrasensory organ between his eyes; and a pair of sponge-like olfactory organs upon his gaunt chest. He also has a missing arm, the remaining arm bearing a hand missing all but two of its fingers.

Once the lid of the sarcophagus has split apart and opened to expose the glowing white interior, the Other climbs in, lying down and allowing the sarcophagus to close up again with him inside.

DANIEL: (V.O.; cont’d) His body was decaying and weak, yet with all his powers and knowledge, he couldn’t prevent his own demise. Apparently his whole species was going extinct ….


The pyramid ship makes the voyage from the Andromeda Galaxy to the Milky Way Galaxy, coming across a multitude of worlds along the way.

DANIEL: (V.O.; cont’d) So he travelled or searched the galaxies looking for a way to cheat death ….


The Other’s starship has entered into high orbit over the blue-and-white globe of Earth.

DANIEL: (V.O.; cont’d) It says he came to a world, rich with life, where he encountered a primitive race, perfect for his needs ….


At the controls of his vessel, now clad head-to-toe in a protective stasis suit which keeps his ever-failing body alive, the Other looks over a holographic projection; displayed before him, in hues of normal and ultraviolet light, are live-feed images of humans – primitive hunter-gatherers clad in loincloths – all going about their business oblivious to this surveillance.

DANIEL: (V.O.; cont’d) Humans! A species he could repair and maintain indefinitely. (beat) He realized that within a human body, he had a chance for a renewed life ….


The pyramidal craft has made its descent, coming upon a small village. Heavy winds billowing, currents of artificial lightning discharged to the ground, the villagers flee in terror of this incomprehensible harbinger.

DANIEL: (V.O.; cont’d) He came to a village, where he found a young boy ….

One of the villagers, a handsome BOY barely out of his teens, remains behind as his tribespeople escape towards their hill of refuge. He isn’t afraid; in fact he is very calm, serene.

DANIEL: (V.O.; cont’d) As the frightened villagers ran, night became day. Curious and without fear, he walked towards the light ….

The youth approaches the descending starship, shielding his eyes from the intense silver light radiating down from the craft’s burning engines. As he walks directly beneath the ship, a ball of intense white light passes down through the belly of the vessel and comes upon him, enveloping and consuming him completely.


Within the throne room of his refurbished and rechristened ship, the Barque of Heaven, the man-child is now cleaned and groomed, garbed in gaily coloured robes and fine jewellery. No longer a mere human peasant, he stands tall, his stance that of a regal monarch.

PTAH, a fellow clad in a brown kilt and golden skullcap, approaches the man-child with a gold necklace in his hands. Securing the necklace about his master’s neck, he takes a reverent step back, bowing his head in obeisance.

A moment passes, then the man-child undergoes a stunning transformation. Powdered crystal emerges from the pores of his face and envelopes his head, taking shape to form a large headdress and plaited beard, replacing his visage of soft, olive-toned flesh with one of rigid, iridescent gold.


To reveal the OTHER THIRTEEN FIGURES amassed within the throne room, bowed before Atum, all attired in their own exoskeletal helms of iridescent crystal. There is ANAPA, the Jackal; APIS, the Bull; ASET, the Woman; AUSIR, the Man; DIHAUTI, the Ibis; HAPI, the Baboon; HARU, the Falcon; KHNUM, the Ram; SEBEK, the Crocodile; SEKHMET, the Lioness; SOKAR, the Corpse; UBASTE, the Cat; and WEDJAT, the Asp.

DANIEL: (V.O.; cont’d) He took the boy and merged with him – kind of like the Trill from Star Trek. (beat) Together they became Atum and appointed themselves ruler ….


We watch as Atum, working through his godlings, acclimates the proto-Egyptians to writing and science, allowing them to build Iunu, the first human city. In gratitude for all the god-king has given them, they willingly build a large pyramid in his honour, the underlying granite blocks hidden beneath casing stones of smooth, polished, white limestone. This is the Great Pyramid, docking station for the Barque of Heaven.

DANIEL: (V.O.; cont’d) Atum gifted mankind with the knowledge of magic – writing and science. (beat) That’s when he built the stargates ….


Within the stone room which will one day into the future come to be known as the King’s Chamber, The stargate stands directly before the entrance into the chamber, chevrons, glyphs, and engravings aglow as hundreds of people are shepherded through the open portal to another world.

DANIEL: (V.O.; cont’d) Erecting stargates on both Earth and Abdju, Atum had thousands of people brought here. It was his final gift to humanity: the heavens themselves ….


Atum reclines naked within a spacious bathing pool, smiling lazily as several beautiful palace servants – men and women alike – bathe with him, alternating between washing and kissing his hybridized body.

DANIEL: (V.O.; cont’d) Something happened over the thousands of years following Atum’s coronation; he grew less invested in running the empire he had built and shepherding the humans he had adopted in favour of spending his time absorbed in the hedonistic pleasures of palace life. Sequestering himself away with his servants and lovers, he relinquished control of the Imperium to the godlings ….


Within the depths of a rainforest – perhaps on Abdju, perhaps elsewhere – hundreds of thousands of labourers are put to the task of erecting another pyramid, supervised by the artificers of Ptah and the asp-helmed Wadjet Guards. When the labourers slip up or fail to meet certain quotas, the Wadjet Guards beat them with pain sticks and bullwhips.


Finally fed up with the abuse and neglect heaped upon them, the inhabitants of Old Nagada – a mining colony – take up arms against the forces of Atum’s Imperium.

DANIEL: (V.O.; cont’d) Finally, there was a rebellion or uprising on this planet, here in this city.

As the original Nagadans wage a valiant but ultimately futile war, a medium-range bomber – a vaguely pyramidal craft with a saucer-shaped base – comes down out of the yellow sky. Passing over Old Nagada, it unloads a single plasma bomb. The bomb detonates in the heart of the city, releasing as much destructive power as a FOAB bomb, obliterating the entire city and incinerating its inhabitants in the span of less than one minute.


Daniel and the others, back in the ruins of Old Nagada in the present.

DANIEL: (cont’d) The rebellion failed. The colonists were exterminated, their city razed to the ground. (looks upon the skeletons reposing underfoot) A handful must’ve survived, trapped down here while the rest of the city burned. They must’ve spent their final days writing all this down, preserving the truth for any future generations brought here to replace theirs.

KAWALSKY: (O.C.) Jackson? I think you’d better take a look at this.


Following Kawalsky’s voice, Daniel, O’Neal, Sha’ure, and the others step inside a small room. At the back of the room, where several skeletons lie in a heap upon the floor, a large cartouche has been painted on the wall. Laid down in broad strokes of rich red ink, it contains nine black glyphs – glyphs which line up with those found on both stargates.

DANIEL: That’s it! That’s what we’re looking for! They must’ve placed it here in hopes that one day the gate on Earth could be reopened.

Stepping close to the wall, Daniel takes out his pad of paper and copies down the gate address. Meanwhile, Brown examines the ancient skeletons; clutched in the hands of one of the skeletons is an energy rifle, similar to Sihathor’s but evidently a much older model, lacking the secondary barrel.

O’NEAL: (satisfied) Alright, that’s it. Kawalsky? Brown?

With those words said, the colonel turns and leaves the room. As the others leave with him, Daniel lingers a moment, taking a final gander at the contents of the room before joining them.

Divergent Universes
Dreams of a Randy Git-Fiend

Make Off Topic great again.



Leaving the depths of the ruins, the Terrans start off on the long trek for the pyramid. As O’Neal and his men begin their march, Daniel lingers a moment, taking a look back. Standing there behind him, Skarra and his friends behind her, is Sha’ure. Eyes of intense blue meeting eyes of richest brown, a subliminal connection is made, and in an instant they share a realization – a realization that in another place, under other circumstances, they could have shared a life together.

KAWALSKY: C’mon, Jackson.

With that, the spell is broken. Turning his back to Sha’ure, Daniel leaves for the open ocean of sand.


For the next several hours, the colonel, lieutenant colonel, senior airman, and Egyptologist trudge through the desert, passing over and under dunes until they finally come to the road, unaware that Skarra, Nabeh, and the rest of their small band are following along behind them at a respectable distance.


Emerging from the open desert, they finally come to the end of the road. In wait for them is a most unwelcome surprise. Past the twin obelisks, past the entrance ramp, the pyramid of red granite all but hidden beneath its awesome bulk, is the Lady of Slaughter. With the three suns low in the eastern sky, the entire front face of the bronze-panelled craft has been cast in shadow, lending it an air of quiet, foreboding menace.

BROWN: Looks like somebody was home after all.

KAWALSKY: What the hell is that?

DANIEL: It’s a spaceship. (takes notice of the others’ skeptical stares) Well, maybe not a spaceship, but some sort of flying machine. It was on the ruin walls.

Silently, O’Neal cocks his P90. Taking off in a low sprint, he makes a dash for the pyramid. Arming his own weapon, Kawalsky follows after the colonel, covering him.

BROWN: (hands Daniel an M9) Here. You might need this.

Daniel takes the pistol, and he and Brown take off in a run, joining the colonel and lieutenant colonel as they sprint up the stone entrance ramp into the pyramid.

Still on their trail, the Nagadan kids follow them up to the pyramid.


As Kawalsky and Brown take up guard positions behind the forward columns, O’Neal moves deeper into the chamber, where he finds the spent ammo casings lying in the dust on the floor. Out of the corner of his eye, he suddenly spots movement – a vaguely humanoid figure moving from behind one column to another. Taking hold of Daniel and dragging them both over to a column, the colonel takes cover behind it.


Climbing up a shelf of sand which had accumulated against the base of the pyramid during the sandstorm, Skarra and his friends peer in through the slot-like windows into the entrance hall.


Hearing the approaching steps of an enemy, Brown braces himself against his column, collecting his resolve and his nerves, before leaping out into the open. Standing out there before him, energy rifle in hand and eyes glowing blue-green within the sockets of a falconesque head, is the dreadful form of a Haru Guard; lower in rank than Sihathor, this Haru Guard is armoured in bronze crystal rather than the green-black variety.

Bringing his gun to bear, Brown pulls back the trigger, emptying a full round into the bronze monster. Unharmed, the Haru Guard brings up its energy rifle and Brown goes down, the weapon’s electrical beam sending him sprawling.


O’Neal as he sees Kawalsky, who has been grappling with another bronze Haru Guard, lifted off his feet and thrown back into a wall, knocking the big man out cold.

As the Haru Guard who dispensed with Brown appears, aiming its rifle in Daniel’s direction, the colonel automatically leaps into action.

O’NEAL: Look out!

Taking Daniel by the collar, the colonel pulls him out of the way just in time to avoid being struck down by the blue-green beam. Swiveling his gun into position, O’Neal returns fire, then he pulls the Egyptologist alongside him in a mad dash for the stargate chamber.

DANIEL: Where are we going?!

O’Neal has no time to answer. He and Daniel duck inside the antechamber, avoiding another energy beam blast.


Bounding down the ramp, the colonel looses his hold on the scholar’s collar, dauntless as he crosses through the antechamber into the gate chamber directly to the FRED.

DANIEL: Why are we going to the stargate? We can’t leave without the others.

O’NEAL: Stay right here and shoot anything that comes down that ramp.

DANIEL: What are you doing?

O’NEAL: Just cover me.

Opening the FRED’s secret compartment, O’Neal takes a look inside. It’s completely empty; the bomb isn’t there.

DANIEL: (crosses over to O’Neal) What is it? What’re you looking for?

O’NEAL: (stoney) It’s gone.

At that very moment, the circular recess in the ceiling of the antechamber opens up, the inner disc splitting apart into eight separate sections which draw inward, revealing an inner compartment which casts a column of bright white light down upon the floor with a corresponding mechanical HUM. Twisting around, Daniel brings his pistol up as ten black stone rings drop down from the opening. Piling up, one stacked atop the other, they form an iridescent black column. A stream of silver energy passes down through the rings – the surplus light escaping through the gaps between the rings and bringing brief, intense illumination to the chamber – and a black shape takes form within them. The process complete, the rings ascend back into their compartment and the recess closes once more.

Standing where empty space had been only moments before, green-black armour glistening in the scant light of the stargate chamber, is the form of the Haru Guard Sihathor.

Daniel keeps his gun trained on Sihathor, ready but apprehensive to open fire on this dark god, when the other two falcon-headed warriors finally enter the gate chamber and take position behind their leader, bringing their weapons to bear.

O’NEAL: Put it down, Jackson.

Almost as if to punctuate the colonel’s request, Sihathor unholsters his own energy rifle and levels it at Daniel.

Conceding defeat, Daniel finally lowers the pistol.


With a flash of silver light, Daniel and O’Neal materialize aboard the Lady of Slaughter with their Haru Guard escort. Unlike the ring transporter down in the pyramid, this transporter utilizes only five rings, all of which are stored in a compartment under the floor rather than in the ceiling, indicating perhaps that it is a newer, more advanced model.

Once the black rings have slipped down into the floor, the five figures find themselves standing on a raised, circular platform. Leading away from the platform is a low, narrow catwalk which crosses the length of the chamber, connecting to the command section at the front of the bridge. Barking a deep, mechanically filtered command, Sihathor prods the two Earthlings with the barrels of his rifle. Getting the message, they step off the platform onto the catwalk.

Crossing the catwalk, Sihathor and his two subordinates behind them, the colonel and the doctor are taken clear across to the front of the bridge. At the command deck wait three figures: a PAIR OF FEMALE UBASTE GUARDS, armed with long copper-plated sceptres, who stand in guard at either side of a SEKHMET GUARD, who is seated upon the throne-like captain’s chair. Unlike the Haru Guards, the cat-headed Ubaste Guards are not garbed in full body armour; from the shoulders down, they are garbed in white linen tunics and kilts, their exposed arms, legs, and midriffs hard with lean muscle. In contrast, the Sekhmet Guard is fully enclosed in armour of iridescent silver, a midnight blue cloak clasped about her shoulders, the eyes in her lioness’ head alive with yellow flame.

Making a harsh proclamation in his tongue, Sihathor knocks Daniel’s and O’Neal’s legs out from under them, forcing them to kneel before the silver entity before them. The Earthmen’s eyes riveted upon her, the Sekhmet Guard raises a single hand, issuing an order to her underlings. Sensing something of import in her unintelligible words, Daniel begins to scrutinize his captors, waiting for whatever is now about to transpire.

One by one, the helms of the animal-headed guards dissolve. Breaking apart into disparate segments, the helms collapse in on themselves, shrinking down and retracting until the skullcapped heads of human beings are fully revealed. Like the Nagadans, each of the guards are of Hamitic and Nubian extraction, and they are all – to differing extent – physically attractive; Sihathor, in particular, bears an aquiline nose and strong chin which lends him a striking, regal air. Their eyes, though, are hard and cold – harsh and unfeeling.

Turning their attentions to the Sekhmet Guard, the Earthlings watch as her mask then disintegrates into the collar around her neck. The Sekhmet Guard is, to put it unflatteringly, an unspeakable beauty. Her skin, without blemish or flaw, is the rich brown of darkest chocolate; her lips, sensuous in their fullness, are painted a deep black; her dark eyes, accented with red eyeliner, are fierce and hungry – the eyes of a lioness on the prowl. The face of their mistress bared to them, the Haru Guards kneel, getting down on one knee in reverence before her.

SEKHMET GUARD: (in High Kemetic, subtitled) You have come here to destroy us.

With a gesture, the Sekhmet Guard summons two man servants. Carrying an ornate tray between them, the two slender, scantily clad man-children cross over to the space between their mistress and the captives, setting the tray down on the floor there before speedily departing. Situated upon the tray is O’Neal’s bomb.

DANIEL: (alarmed) What is that? (turns to O’Neal) That’s a bomb, isn’t it? That’s what you were looking for. (beat) What the hell were you thinking? What’d you come here for?

O’Neal doesn’t say anything. Instead, he turns on Sihathor and strikes, punching the Haru Guard in his now-unshielded kisser. Wresting the energy rifle out of the senseless Haru Guard’s limp fingers, the colonel turns on the other two Haru Guards, takes aim, and squeezes the handgrip twice in rapid succession. Instead of releasing beams of blue-green electrical energy from the secondary barrel, this time the weapon discharges bolts of concentrated orange plasma from the primary barrel; with a pair of strong CHOOMS, the plasma bolts bore through both their heads, bursting them like overripe melons in a microwave.

The bridge then erupts into chaos. As O’Neal spins back around, opening fire on one of the two Ubaste Guards, the other springs into action; levelling her sceptre in the colonel’s direction, she slides her hand along the underside of the instrument; in automatic response, the pod-like head of the staff splits open, crackling with energy.

DANIEL: (leaping between the Ubaste Guard and O’Neal) Wait! Stop! No! No --!

A plasma bolt springs from the woman warrior’s staff weapon, punching through Daniel’s gut and driving him into the floor with enough kinetic force to halt a charging rhino.

Daniel’s body sprawled out twisted and lifeless, the colonel sets his sights on the Sekhmet Guard. Eyes burning with challenge, she rises from her seat and spreads her arms apart, providing the Terran a clear kill shot. O’Neal takes it, squeezing the handgrip to unload yet another devastating plasma bolt. This time, however, the bolt is stopped dead-cold as it meets an invisible protective force field enveloping her body, disincorporating and dissipating completely without leaving a single mark on her or her suit of armour.

Before O’Neal can try squeezing off another shot, Sihathor – recovered from the blow which felled him – comes up behind the colonel and brings his armoured elbow down between the Earthling’s vulnerable shoulder blades, rendering him unconscious with a single blow.

Just as the large Haru Guard gets ready to deliver the out-cold colonel a serious beating, the Sekhmet Guard orders him back. Deferring to her command, he takes a step back, bowing in supplication. Leaving her throne, she crosses over to O’Neal. Looking him over, she then goes to Daniel. Bending low, she turns him over; that is when she sees the gold pendant, the Eye of Atum itself looking back up at her.

Divergent Universes
Dreams of a Randy Git-Fiend

Make Off Topic great again.



A grate in the ceiling of the holding cell slides open, and Sihathor tosses O’Neal’s unconscious form inside. Upon hitting the cold water which fills the cell, O’Neal is immediately roused to consciousness, springing up and ready to fight. There are no enemies waiting for him, however; only Kawalsky, Feretti, Brown, and Freeman occupy the cell with him.

KAWALSKY: Colonel, it’s us! You alright?

The ceiling grate slides closed again, and O’Neal looks up. Sihathor looks down at him, smirking, then spits down at him before leaving.

KAWALSKY: Where’s Jackson?

O’Neal’s expression of fear and shock tells the lieutenant colonel the whole story.


Skarra and the others are rummaging through the remains of the base camp, digging in the sand and searching under the toppled tents for any equipment or supplies which survived the sandstorm intact.

As Nabeh finds a green helmet and sets it down on his enlarged cranium, another of the kids – a girl maybe thirteen or fourteen years old – unearths a large crate. As she flings the top open, her face lights up with wonder.

GIRL #1: (in Low Kemetic, subtitled) Guys, guys – I’ve found something, something big!

Dropping what they are doing, the others all crowd in around the girl on all sides, leaning forward to peer inside the crate. This is the very crate of two dozen M4 carbines Daniel had dragged here all those days ago.

NABEH: (subtitled) Guns?

SKARRA: (nods; subtitled) Different guns from the ones Black Hat and his friends were carrying.

Taking one of the M4s, Skarra begins looking it over. Pointing the muzzle skyward, he tries pulling back on the trigger, but finds it stuck.

SKARRA: (subtitled) I can’t fire it. The trigger won’t bend.

GIRL #2: (subtitled) Maybe it’s jammed.

Fiddling around with the weapon, he eventually manages to find and release the safety catch; now the trigger bends back, but still the weapon won’t fire.

SKARRA: (subtitled) It must be unloaded. (beat) Start looking for bullets. They must’ve have brought some here with them.

At that, the teenagers resume digging in the sand, now on the search for ammunition.


Daniel sits alone on a bench at a bus stop, legs close together, his sack of books at his feet. Surrounding him from all sides is a heavy pea soup fog. The fog before him lifts a little, revealing that the bus stop is situated on the edge of the shore of a large, black lake. Stealing a glance at his watch, Daniel sighs with frustration.

Something then appears on the lake, far in the distance, obscured behind the fog. As it moves closer, on approach for the shore, it emerges from the heavy mists and its identity becomes clear; it is a long, narrow boat crewed by THREE FIGURES: two passengers, who remained seated, and the seven-foot-tall ferryman, who stands guiding the craft forward with each slow push of his long pole.

As the boat comes ashore, Daniel rises to his feet, collects his heavy book sack, and – with a heavy grunt – steps forward. Now we are afforded a clear view of who, exactly is on the boat; the passengers are Reilly and Porro, very life-like is spite of the caved-in skull and broken neck they sport, respectively; the ferryman, clad in a hooded robe of black sackcloth, bearing sallow skin, hollow cheeks, cataracted eyes, and a five-foot-long gray beard, is CHARON, the Greek psychopomp himself.

CHARON: Room for one more.

DANIEL: But I’m waiting for a bus.

CHARON: The bus has been cancelled – because of Death.

Reaching into the nasty hole burned through his abdomen, Daniel pulls out a bus ticket.

DANIEL: (holds out the ticket) But … my ticket.

Reaching into his robe, Charon pulls out a large pair of scissors and cuts the ticket in two.

CHARON: Climb aboard.

Shrugging, Daniel climbs into the boat and takes a seat beside the two dead non-coms. Charon then pushes the boat out into the water and proceeds to guide it back from whence it came.


As Charon silently guides the boat across the placid, dark waters, Daniel turns to regard his two companions.

DANIEL: Reilly, Porro – you’re dead, too?

REILLY: (grins) We certainly are.

PORRO: That Sihathor really did a number on us. (beat) I’ve got no complaints, though.

REILLY: Yeah, me neither. Got me a sweet little number waiting for me on the other side; she died fourteen years ago. (frowns) Hope she’s aged well.

They finally come to their destination on the far side of the lake. Rising up from the rocky shore, disappearing into the dark clouds above, is a tremendous stairway of black stone.

PORRO: Well, here we are. (stands up) Be seeing you, Doc.

DANIEL: Likewise.

Leaving the boat, the non-coms begin climbing the grand stairway, soon slipping into the clouds where they disappear from sight.

Now alone with Charon, Daniel looks up at the cadaverous ferryman. When the psychopomp says nothing – when he doesn’t so much as acknowledge the ex-Egyptologist’s continued presence with a downward glance – Daniel sighs and, picking up his heavy sack, steps out of the boat and begins the long, laborious climb up the stairway.


Reaching the top of the stairs, Daniel finally finds himself on a short causeway which leads to the pearly gates of Heaven itself.

As he moves on approach for the gates, Daniel pauses as he comes upon a white marble statue. The statue, carved in the Greco-Roman style, is shaped in the likeness of a beautiful woman; it is Sha’ure herself. In her hands, she holds a bust; it is the exact duplicate of the bust he gifted to Catherine Langford before leaving through the stargate. At this point, it is finally made clear why Daniel found Sha’ure so uncannily familiar upon their meeting; she is the living twin of the long-dead woman whose likeness his bust was carved to represent.

Leaving the statue, he completes his trek to the pearly gates, where SAINT PETER stands in wait for him, a large, heavy book in hand.

DANIEL: (frowns) Saint Peter? Is that you?

ST. PETER: (bored) I’m certainly not Saint Nick, kid. (opens the book) Name?

DANIEL: Daniel – Daniel Jackson.

ST. PETER: (looks through book) Daniel Jackson … Daniel Jackson. (beat) Would that be Daniel T. Jackson?

DANIEL: No. My middle initial’s “G”.

ST. PETER: Ah, yes, Daniel G. Jackson. (beat) Oh, I’m sorry, but you can’t get in yet.

DANIEL: (frowns) I can’t? Why the he–

Saint Peter frowns.

DANIEL: (cont’d) --double hockey sticks not?

ST. PETER: Says here that you haven’t been weighed yet. (closes book) Sorry, kid, but you’ve got to pay Osiris and Anubis a visit first before passing through these gates.

Stepping to the side, Saint Peter uncovers a lever which had been hidden behind him the whole time. Taking hold, he pulls it back, opening a trapdoor beneath Daniel’s feet.


Falling through the trapdoor, Daniel hits the unseen floor of the void. Even with the bright white light shining down from the opening above, his surroundings remain a perfectly featureless black.

At the very moment Daniel climbs to his feet, five things materialize in this void: OSIRIS, the green-faced lord of the underworld; ANUBIS, the jackal-headed god of judgement; THOTH, the ibis-headed scribe; AMMIT, the crocodile/lion/hippopotamus devourer; and a large scale. These five things are all enormous in size, each towering over Daniel, who is but an ant beneath them.

OSIRIS: Daniel Jackson, son of Melburn and Claire, do you know why you are here?

DANIEL: For judgement – to see whether or not my heart is free of sin, if I’m worthy of joining my loved ones on the other side.

OSIRIS: You catch on pretty quick. (to Anubis) Let’s get this going. I’ve got dinner with Isis at 4:00, and I don’t want to be late getting to the restaurant. Traffic’s absolute he–

ST. PETER: (O.S.) Ahem!

OSIRIS: (cont’d) – absolute heck this time of day.

Reaching into his kilt, Anubis pulls out a feather – the feather of Maat. Licking his fingers, Anubis straightens the barbs of the feather, then gently lays it down on one of the two sides of the scale. He then picks Daniel up and sets him down on the other side.

Daniel immediately proves much heavier than the feather.

OSIRIS: Well, that’s that. Toss ‘im.

Picking Daniel back up, Anubis crosses over to Ammit, who starts wagging her tail eagrely in anticipation.

ANUBIS: Hey, Ammit – would you like a biscuit?

Ammit begins panting fiercely.

ANUBIS: Then stand, girl, stand!

Ammit rises up on her hind legs.

ANUBIS: Good girl! Here you are!

The jackal god tosses Daniel into the air, and Ammit snaps the little man up in her long crocodilian jaws.


With a hoarse cry of panic, Daniel bolts upright, gasping as he comes to. Looking around, he finds himself on the pyramid ship, seated on the spacious bed Feretti had seen earlier. Looking down at the large hole burned through his shirt, he feels around inside for the wound he knows should be there, but there is no wound at all; there isn’t even a scar to mark where one had been. Reaching up to his face, he finds he no longer has his glasses. Indeed, he no longer needs his glasses, for his vision is now perfect.

Rising from the bed, he finds a manservant standing in the doorway. This boy, one of the very same scantily clad youths who unveiled the bomb earlier, gestures for Daniel to follow him.


Within a bathing pool, the Sekhmet Guard – FAIZAH – lies submerged up to her breasts in hot, steaming water, eyes closed in relaxation. Now shed of her armour and all accoutrements, she allows her long, full, curly black hair to frame her face and cascade down her shoulders.

As Daniel enters the room with the manservant, her eyes fling open, burning into him.

FAIZAH (SEKHMET GUARD): If was foolish of you to reopen your stargate, man of the First World. The presence of you and yours was detected here the very moment you stepped through the gateway.

DANIEL: (amazed) You – you speak English?

FAIZAH: (half-smiles) After a fashion. (beat) After my guard’s blast-lance felled you, I had your ka-less form – and those of your fallen companions – sent back to my world. While the healers of Aset peeled their brains in search of information, I had them also repair your body. During the procedure, lingual nanites were injected into the language centres of your brain. All the tongues known to the Imperium are now cognizant to you, and vice-versa. (beat) Consider it a gift.

Faizah then rises from the pool, allowing rivulets of water to run down the length of her strong, beautiful body. As a pair of manservants slip her into a translucent black robe, Daniel catches note of her belly; where a navel should be is a pair of slits criss-crossing her abdomen to form an “X”.

DANIEL: You aren’t human.

FAIZAH: (cocks an eyebrow) I was human – once. My years of service to the gods have granted me greater status. I am now Jaffa, first prime of Sekhmet, war goddess of the Imperium.

DANIEL: Jaffa ….

FAIZAH: The Jaffa are the pinnacle of humanity – enhanced by the prim’ta to have greater strength, endurance, health, and longevity than any mere human.

DANIEL: Prim’ta?

Sliding her hand down her chest to her stomach, Faizah slips her fingers past the “X” slit into her abdomen, drawing a cringe from Daniel. Amused by Daniel’s revulsion, she plunges her entire hand inside, taking hold of what lies within and pulling it out. In her grasp is a wriggling, white, worm-like creature with two beady, black eyes and weak four-pronged jaws.

FAIZAH: A remnant of a race subdued by Atum in ages past. Where they once sought to ravage the Imperium, they now serve it dutifully through us.

Faizah returns the prim’ta to its pouch.

DANIEL: The godlings, Atum’s viceroys – are they, too, Jaffa?

FAIZAH: They are … more than Jaffa. How much more, that is not for me to say.

Tying her robe in place, Faizah steps out of the bathing room, accompanied by her servants. Daniel follows them.


Entering her chambers, Faizah steps past a long marble table and crosses over to a dressing chair. As she sits down in it, her manservants proceed to brush her hair and apply her makeup. As Daniel steps inside, he sees the table and everything laid out on it: guns; ammo; radios; dog tags; jewellery, some of his books; even an entire uniform stripped from one of the dead airmen.

DANIEL: You said you had the minds of my friends searched for information. You must know everything they knew.

FAIZAH: (nods) Yes.

DANIEL: Then you must know we came here as explorers.

FAIZAH: You may have come through in the spirit of exploration, as did your guards. But your commander? (shakes her head) No. (beat) You of Earth have harnessed the power of the atom; you have become dangerous. You may no longer be under the thrall of the likes of Ushabti and Nem, but your chieftains still mean to bring war to us.

DANIEL: What are you going to do?

FAIZAH: My mistress has ordered me to send your weapon back to your world. I will encase it within a shipment of weapons-grade naqahdah. It will increase your weapon’s destructive power a hundredfold.

DANIEL: Why did you give me back my life?

With a wave of her hand, Faizah dismisses her servants. Rising from her chair, Faizah approaches Daniel – groomed, made-up, naked save for the thin robe which covers her body.

FAIZAH: The Imperium encompasses a thousand worlds; I have not seen your like on any of them. (smiles) You will serve me.

DANIEL: And if I refuse?

FAIZAH: Then I shall destroy you (leans in close) and all who have seen you.


Sha’ure is back down in the ruins, examining the hieroglyphs by lantern-light, when Skarra and Nabeh enter.

SKARRA: Sha’ure.

Sha’ure turns at the sound of his voice.

SKARRA: The gods have called an assembly … an execution.

SHA’URE: Skarra, Nabeh, I want you to listen.

As she beckons them to come hither, the two boys approach.

SHA’URE: I want you to know what Daniel told me, about where our people came from … and why we can’t let this happen.

The pair looks up at the pictures on the walls as the young woman begins her tale.

Divergent Universes
Dreams of a Randy Git-Fiend

Make Off Topic great again.



A new day has come to this side of Abdju, and along with it all the people of Nagada. Summoned by Faizah’s emissaries, they have left the shelters of their inviting city and travelled in the thousands under the hot desert suns to come to the pyramid, where they have amassed before the entrance ramp to bear witness to the upcoming execution of O’Neal and his men. As for O’Neal and the remaining members of his team, they stand midway up the ramp, facing the entrance, guarded by a pair of armed Haru Guards.

Upon the ramp, a long burgundy carpet has been unfurled, leading up to the entrance which, in turn, has been festooned with a canopy of matching burgundy fabric to shield the empty throne sitting beneath it from the harsh sunlight. Emerging from the entrance, accompanied by her Ubaste Guards and servants, is Faizah, once again attired in full Sekhmet Guard armour. Upon sighting the silver demigoddess, the Nagadans all bow to the ground, prostrating themselves before the lioness-helmed woman and her entourage.

FAIZAH: (raises her arms; subtitled) Arise.

At her command, the Nagadans return to their feet.

As Faizah takes her seat upon the throne, Sihathor steps out of the pyramid, Daniel in tow.

KAWALSKY: (to O’Neal) You told us he was dead.

The two Haru Guards leave their posts to join their mistress at the entrance as Sihathor positions Daniel at the head of the ramp.

SIHATHOR: (addressing the crowd; subtitled) This one has come before you, bearing the seal of Atum. (takes hold of the gold pendant and holds it up for all to see) He sought to take the mantle of the god of gods as his own, but there can be only one Atum. (pulls the pendant free of Daniel’s throat) It is Atum who commands him to kill these men, (points at O’Neal and the other captives) his friends, his brothers. He will obey him unto death.

One of the Ubaste Guards leaves Faizah’s side and approaches Sihathor. Bringing forth her staff weapon, the cat-helmed warrior presents it to the green-black Haru Guard. Accepting the long weapon, Sihathor then thrusts it out to Daniel, silently commanding the smaller man to take it, his mechanical turquoise eyes blazing. Tentatively, the scholar takes hold of the sceptre. Getting a feel for the ungainly ceremonial weapon, he steps away from Sihathor, descending the ramp towards his companions, and brings the pod-like barrel of the staff weapon to bear on O’Neal; running his hand along the underside of the staff weapon, he opens the flanges, priming the weapon for fire.

As Daniel gathers the resolve to pull the trigger, bright light shines into his eye, distracting him. Looking away from the colonel, past all the Americans, Daniel spies what has caught his eye; standing in the crowd beside Sha’ure, using O’Neal’s lighter as a mirror, is Skarra. Squinting his eyes, Daniel sees the boy draw aside the folds of his long coat to reveal the M4 carbine he has been hiding beneath it.

As everyone – the guardsmen of the Imperium, the Nagadans, and the airmen – stand or sit in anticipation of the first energy blast, Daniel spins around, training the staff weapon on one of the Haru Guards. Pulling the trigger, a bolt of superheated plasma lances out, striking the falcon-helmed guard in the breastplate, knocking him off-kilter and reeling. The loyal band of palace servants then whip out their M4s, opening fire into the sky.

The light and noise of the staff weapon and M4s assaulting their unaccustomed senses, the thousands of Nagadans erupt into panic, fleeing in droves in all directions to put as much distance as they can between themselves and the weapons of gods and men from unfamiliar stars. Taking advantage of the chaos, the Earthmen break off in a run, sprinting down the ramp and blending into the morass of Nagadan bodies.

Bringing forth their weapons, Sihathor and the other Haru Guards begin firing into the crowd. While his subordinates are content to utilize the stun beams to avoid needless slaughter, Sihathor has no such qualms; he releases a steady stream of decimating plasma bolts upon everyone within range of his rifle. One such bolt manages to strike Freeman, catching him between the shoulder blades and blasting through his sternum, dropping him instantly.

FERETTI: Freeman! Freeman!

There is nothing the technical sergeant can do for his fallen friend.

The Earthlings meet up with Sha’ure and the others and are led to a waiting group of mastadges. Climbing atop the hairy beasts, they make their escape, galloping off into the open desert and evading Faizah’s forces for the time being.


After hours of travel, another fierce sandstorm has picked up, and the Terrans and their Nagadan accomplices have come to a series of caves set in a range of low, craggy hills. Dismounting the mastadges, they corral the creatures inside a shallow cave; leaving a pair of girls and one boy to keep watch over the beasts, the rest then set off again on foot, deciding to put as much distance between the mastadges and themselves as they can should the former ever be found by Faizah’s people.

After nearly another hour of trekking through the howling, gritty wind, they finally decide to stop and set up shop within one of the deep caves nearby.


The Nagadans and Terrans file inside, and we see that all the Earthlings’ weapons and ammo have already been stashed inside. Apparently Skarra and the others already had this cave picked out as a hiding place before their escapade at the pyramid.

As torches are lit and fixed in makeshift sconces, casting light throughout the shadowy reaches of this dank place, the travellers all collapse to the stone floor, weary from their journey.

As the kids go about inspecting their borrowed guns, O’Neal studies them with cold eyes.

KAWALSKY: (grins) What do you think, Colonel? They’re not exactly Special Forces, but they sure were eagre to join up.

O’NEAL: (wrenches a gun away from one of the Nagadans) Take these guns away, Lieutenant Colonel, before they hurt themselves.

KAWALSKY: (frowns) Sir?

O’NEAL: You heard me. Send them all home.

KAWALSKY: There isn’t anywhere for these kids to go. If they showed up in the city, they’d be killed for helping us. Besides, we sure could use their help right now.

O’NEAL: (enraged) For what, huh?! To do what?!

This outburst from O’Neal catches everyone by surprise. Everyone, that is, save for Daniel.

DANIEL: Why don’t you just tell them everything? Why don’t you tell them about the bomb?

KAWALSKY: What’s he talking about?

O’NEAL: (sighs) My orders were simple: Track down signs of any possible danger. If I found any, blow up the stargate. (beat) Well, I found some.

KAWALSKY: (angry) Why wasn’t I told of this?

O’NEAL: It was strictly need to know.

KAWALSKY: (dumbfounded) Need to know!? Don’t you think this is something I would damn well need to know?!

O’NEAL: (flustered) You weren’t even supposed to be here! None of you were. You were all gonna go right back through with Daniel.

DANIEL: And this great plan of yours would leave you here with a nuclear weapon? Well, your bomb is Faizah’s now, and soon she’s going to send it back to Earth, along with a shipment of the crystal the stargates are made of. And when that thing goes off, it’s going to cause an explosion a hundred times more destructive than that bomb alone is capable of.

O’NEAL: She told you all this?


O’NEAL: Alright, then. I’ll intercept the bomb and destroy the stargate before she can send it through.

DANIEL: (frustrated) Destroying this one gate won’t accomplish anything! There’re bound to be more!

O’NEAL: You have a better idea?

DANIEL: It’s the gate on Earth that poses a threat. As long as that one is up and functional, they’ll always have access. That is the one that we have to shut down!

O’NEAL: You’re absolutely right. But with the enemy controlling the gate here, we may not have that option.


Faizah is standing in her quarters, looking out the simulated bay window which provides a holographic view of the swirling brown winds of the sandstorm billowing beyond the ship’s hull, when Sihathor, his falcon mask retracted, enters the chamber.

FAIZAH: (turns to Sihathor) Where are they?

SIHATHOR: They vanished.

FAIZAH: (frowns) What do you mean, vanished?

SIHATHOR: They are nowhere to be found – not in Nagada, not in the old ruins. My men have searched both thoroughly.

FAIZAH: Then they are somewhere out in the wilderness. (beat) Send forth the udajeets. They will scan the hills, the sands, the entire face of Abdju if need be until the First Worlders are found.

SIHATHOR: (bows) As milady wishes.


As the sandstorm continues to sweep across the desert, a sole udajeet – a crescent-shaped, one-man fighter craft with downward curved wings – flies on through, heedless of the elements buffeting it.


Within the small cockpit, the pilot – a young man barely out of his teens – scans the landscape below him for human lifeforms. As he studies the readouts he is getting on his helmet display, however, he frowns. Something is messing with the craft’s instruments, giving him readings which are all over the place.


Nabeh is stationed outside the cave opening, standing guard, when he hears the whine of the approaching udajeet. Dashing inside, he drops down, taking cover in shadow as the glider passes overhead, clear over the cave and the humans dwelling within the stone. Once the noise of the udajeet’s engines have faded into the distance, Nabeh crawls back out, keeping a cautious eye out for more gliders.


Away from the main chamber, sitting away in his own private alcove with only a lit torch to keep him company, Col. Jack O’Neal just stares straight ahead at the wall, all but a zombie.

DANIEL: (O.S.) So, you’ve accepted the fact that you’re never going home?

O’Neal’s gaze remains fixed straight ahead; never once does he turn his head or otherwise give any physical indication that he’s aware of the Egyptologist standing behind him.

DANIEL: (cont’d) Don’t you have people who care about you? A family?

O’NEAL: I had a family. (beat) No one should ever outlive their own child.

With this revelation, Daniel clams up. Although he’s known plenty of pain in his own life, he still doesn’t know how to respond to the pain of others.

DANIEL: Colonel, listen … I don’t want to die.

With those five words, the colonel finally turns to face Daniel.

DANIEL: (cont’d) Your soldiers don’t want to die, and these kids helping us don’t want to die. (beat) It’s a shame you’re in such a hurry to.

Daniel’s words punch O’Neal straight in the gut. He then gets ready to respond, to say or do whatever it’ll take to get Daniel out of his face, but the renegade Egyptologist turns and walks away before the colonel can speak a single syllable.

As the Egyptologist disappears around the corner, Skarra comes around from that same corner, carrying a full bowl of stew in his hands. Approaching O’Neal, he holds out the bowl.

SKARRA: Anasaar?

O’Neal turns away from Skarra, ignoring the boy in the hopes that he will soon depart and leave the colonel to his troubled thoughts. Perplexed, thinking that maybe O’Neal finds the food abhorrent, Skarra gives the stew a sniff. Finding nothing obviously wrong with the concoction, he sets the bowl down on the ground, just past the colonel’s reach. When the Earthman continues to ignore him, Skarra decides to make a game of the situation. Playfully he slides the bowl slightly closer to the older man, then slightly closer more, then closer once again. He then begins trying to invite O’Neal to eat, making comical faces and gestures to entice the colonel into taking a bite. In spite of himself, O’Neal finds this whole display incredibly goofy, and he feels his stoic resolve weakening. When Skarra finally resorts to flapping his arms and clucking like a chicken, O’Neal completely caves.

O’NEAL: (laughs) Chicken, right?

SKARRA: Shickan!

Grinning, O’Neal musses up Skarra’s hair. Then he accepts the bowl of stew.


Daniel rejoins Kawalsky, Brown, Feretti, and the Nagadans in the main chamber. As he accepts sits down beside Feretti, accepting a bowl of exotic alien fruit from one of the Nagadan boys, he steals a glance at Sha’ure, who is eating her own dessert in the company of the other girls.

BROWN: (smirks) There she is, Romeo. Why don’t you pay her a visit?

DANIEL: (turns to Brown) I don’t know what you’re talking about.

BROWN: Wouldn’t be so bad, would it? You two could honeymoon back at the pyramid. Rent an apartment here in the caves. Find yourself a job in town. Maybe teach Greek and Latin to pick up money on the side. Start a little family.

Clearly not in the mood for Brown’s jocular remarks, Daniel stands up and leaves the chamber.

BROWN: (puzzled) What’d I say?


Leaving the main chamber, Daniel steps out into the low-ceilinged chamber which leads outside. In no mood to be with any company, he takes a seat midway between the main chamber and cave opening, far enough away from both those inside and Nabeh outside.

As Daniel slowly begins eating his bowl of fruit, Sha’ure slips inside, joining him.

SHA’URE: Daniel. I ….

Sensing his desire for solitude, the young woman clams up and turns to go back.

DANIEL: Sha’ure, wait … don’t go. If you want to stay, you can stay.

Deciding to accept his reluctant hospitality, Sha’ure takes a seat on the cave floor, directly facing Daniel.

SHA’URE: (half-smiles) When did you become so fluent in my tongue?

DANIEL: It’s a complicated story.

Daniel resumes eating.

SHA’URE: A thought for a thought?

DANIEL: (sighs) It’s my fault we’re here – my fault and my fault alone. (beat) I hadn’t told the truth when the general asked me if I could bring the team back. The pictures of the stargate the MALP sent back to Earth were clear enough; there was no cartouche in the room, no way of establishing a new address for the trip back home. I’d assumed West was going to send the team through whether I went with them or not, and I was willing to risk myself to satisfy my curiosity. I failed to consider the consequences of my actions on other people, now thousands may have to pay for my goddamned selfishness. (beat) That’s just like me. It’s no wonder my love life sucks.

Absorbed in his own self-loathing, Daniel absentmindedly picks a piece of fruit which resembles a hairy strawberry out of his bowl. As he gets ready to bite into it, Sha’ure seizes his wrist in a strong grip, hold it back.

SHA’URE: No more looking back, Daniel. (takes the fruit from his fingers) The future lies ahead.

The girl peels away the hairy, papery skin of the fruit, exposing the soft green flesh beneath. Raising the fruit to his lips, she very gently feeds it to him.

There is more tenderness in the gesture, more intimacy, than either of them would normally be comfortable with. Yet they cannot deny what they are – literal star-crossed lovers, brought together over vast gulfs of time and space by whatever gods may be to fulfill some untold destiny – and so they loose their reticence, surrendering themselves to the moment.


Faizah is seated at her table, absorbed in holo-recordings from the tumultuous times of the First Days, of the uneasy years of excess and corruption which led to the bloody uprisings on Nebwat and Oannes and the coup which saw Earth cut off from the stargate network. That is when Sihathor opens the doors to her chambers, admitting the udajeet pilots who had been dispatched to track down the escapees.

Deactivating the holo-projector, Faizah leaves her table and approaches the pilots.


One of the pilots – specifically, the young pilot who passed right over the escapees’ hideaway without discovering their presence – takes a step forward and gets down on one knee.

UDAJEET PILOT: They are dead.

Turning to the young man, she walks up to him, her stride full of grace – grace and menace. Crossing in front of him, she looks down on him, examining him as a housecat would a mouse.

FAIZAH: Bring their bodies to me.

UDAJEET PILOT: The naqahdah deposits in the surrounding terrain interfere with our scanners. We could get no positive readings of their presence. (tries and fails to make eye contact with Faizah) They are still in the sand. Surely the sandstorm will have killed them.

Faizah sighs, her disappointment evident.

FAIZAH: You tried.

Resting her left hand on the man’s head, she begins to stroke it, petting him as lovingly as a master would his ever-loyal dog.

FAIZAH: I know you tried.

The demigoddess then tightens her grip and pulls his head back. Raising her right hand, she exposes the round, red jewel in the centre of her palm. Held in place by loops of black metal wire, the jewel comes alive with baleful light as she presses her hand down upon the crown of his head and keeps it there. Immediately, the pilot’s arms and legs shoot out stiff, his whole body beginning to spasm violently. His head itself then begins to vibrate at an unnatural rate, going suddenly still as his facial features begin to distort radically, the skull losing the integrity of its shape, swelling and constricting like a thin bag of water.

Once the punishment jewel has worked its dark magic – rearranging the pilot’s molecules, transfiguring him into a grotesque Picasso of hideously misaligned flesh and bone – Faizah closes her hand, deactivating the weapon.

FAIZAH: (sighs) Let this serve notice. I will not accept failure.

Divergent Universes
Dreams of a Randy Git-Fiend

Make Off Topic great again.



The long sandstorm has finally dissipated, allowing Abdju’s trinary stars to burn bright in the vibrant yellow sky once more. As the Nagadans file out of the cave, ready to leave the hills for the open sands, the Earthlings stand off to the side of the rocky entrance, discussing their next course of action.

O’NEAL: (cont’d) It’s too risky. We don’t have the time to orchestrate an uprising. We have to take fast and immediate action.

DANIEL: We can’t just turn our back on the Nagadans. They only serve the Imperium because Atum’s viceroys have used their technological superiority to maintain the illusion that they’re divine.

O’NEAL: We don’t have any choice. All we can do is try and complete our mission.

BROWN: Sir, we owe our lives to these kids. The least we could do –

O’NEAL: Forget it. I have my orders.

Kawalsky then takes a step forward, leaning in close over O’Neal.

KAWALSKY: Then disobey orders.

O’NEAL: (bemused) Excuse me?

KAWALSKY: No, Daniel is right. We won’t accomplish anything unless we tear down the gate back home on Earth. Having friendlies holding down the gate here may give us enough time to do that.

Daniel looks at Kawalsky, surprised and impressed, then back to O’Neal.

DANIEL: Colonel, are you with us or not?

Everyone scrutinizes O’Neal, eagre to know his final decision.

O’NEAL: (sighs) It better work.


Within the central hall of the Palace of the Elders, a magnificent celebration is underway. A multitude of dancers, attractive men and women in scant clothing, sway and leap and pirouette to the harmonies played by an accompanying band of musicians. Nearer to the back of the room, seated in regal chairs arranged in a semicircle facing the dancers, are the elders themselves. Behind the elders, seated upon a raised throne of flawlessly crafted platinum and gold, is a fully armoured Haru Guard, his helm deployed, the turquoise eyes of his falconesque visage aglow; on either side of him, equipped with energy rifles, stand another two Haru Guards, his lieutenants.

As the dance continues, more than a dozen cloaked figures – hoods pulled up over their faces – enter the hall through one of the side doors, their arrival going all but unnoticed by the revellers captivated by the festivities. They don’t go unnoticed for long. Pushing back his hood, O’Neal then unveils his energy rifle – the same archaic single-barrelled rifle found in the ruins of Old Nagada. Taking careful aim, he unloads multiple shots in rapid succession, blasting holes through weak points in the Haru Guards’ suits of armour, cutting them down before they can react.

The loud reports of plasmafire bring an immediate and abrupt end to the celebrations. Surrounding the remaining Haru Guard, O’Neal and his compatriots pull him down off his throne, training their M4s and captured energy weapons on the armoured but unarmed warrior. Initially dazed at this blatant act of blasphemy, the palace guards come out of their befuddlement to surround the intruders, bringing their muskets to bear. All are now trapped in a Mexican standoff.

Seeing his daughter among the assassins, Kasuf breaks through the palace guards, rushing up to her and grabbing her by the front of her robes, pulling her to him with fierce desperation in his wide brown eyes.

KASUF: (subtitled) You will bring disaster to all of us, daughter!

SHA’URE: (subtitled) Father, we will not remain in servitude to false gods!

Kasuf then begins to rant and rave, first to his daughter, then to the other Nagadans assisting the Terrans.

O’NEAL: Jackson, what’s he saying?

DANIEL: He’s saying we’re going to bring a massacre down upon his people, that Atum will slaughter everyone who disobeys. Now he’s telling them not to cooperate with us, not to anger the gods.

O’NEAL: Don’t anger the gods, huh?

Heedless of the musket barrels trained on his back, O’Neal approaches the Haru Guard in the bronze crystalline armour. Leaning in close, he peers into the burning turquoise eyes of the falconesque countenance, wholly contemptuous of the armoured being standing before him.

O’NEAL: (cont’d) This guy ain’t no god!

Bringing up his energy rifle, O’Neal unloads a plasma bolt at point-blank range right into the mechanized falcon head, slagging it and catapulting the Haru Guard clear off his feet. As the Haru Guard lands on the other side of the room, his helm hopelessly damaged, it begins to crackle with iridescent energy, the atoms writhing and churning as the gaseous membrane holding them in place deteriorates. The compromised helm finally disintegrates, falling away in a cascade of glittering bronze sand, revealing the all-too human visage which is the true face of the Haru Guard. Kasuf, the other elders, the palace guards, and all the other revellers are struck dumb by the sight of the unmasked would-be god.

DANIEL: (to the Nagadans; subtitled) Take a look at your god! He is a man like any other!

The Haru Guard, struck senseless by the blast but otherwise unharmed, climbs back to his feet. His face contorted in rage at this gross violation of his person, he makes a dash for the colonel, armoured fingers outstretched for his throat. Before O’Neal can defend himself, Daniel takes initiative; bringing up the staff weapon he has had on his person this whole time, the Egyptologist opens fire on the Haru Guard, unloading four plasma bolts in quick succession; three slam into his suit of armour, leaving only slight damage where they hit, but the fourth takes the Haru Guard’s unshielded head clean off.

Daniel stands there, looking down upon the headless remains of the warrior he just slew, staff weapon quivering in his shaking hands. This is the first time he’s ever killed another human being.

O’NEAL: Not so easy, is it?

Gently pushing Daniel and the colonel out of the way, Kasuf approaches the headless corpse. Looking down on it, his expression one of mixed shock and confusion, he then takes off his outer robe. Bending low, he drapes the robe over the corpse, hiding it from sight, then gets down on his knees and begins to pray, the tones in his voice heavy with dread.

As the others gathered for the festivities join Kasuf, kneeling down on the floor to add their own lamentations and pleas for forgiveness to his, Daniel, O’Neal, and the others realize their efforts to spark off a rebellion have failed.

Divergent Universes
Dreams of a Randy Git-Fiend

Make Off Topic great again.



A pair of Haru Guards stand within the stargate chamber, facing the gate itself, which stands open, the chevrons and engravings aglow, its torus filled with rippling, silver energy.

A TALL FIGURE emerges from the stargate, the white glow enveloping it fading as it regains three-dimensional form. Clad in a hooded robe of some shimmering, black material, the figure is nine feet tall, the fingers on its hands exceptionally long. As it pulls its hood back, though, it reveals itself to be – if not strictly Homo sapiens – still a member of the same genus. Stepping aside, the tall figure allows SIX MORE INDIVIDUALS to step through the portal. These beings are short, squat, and muscular – dwarvish – but also still of human extraction. Between them they carry a large crate.

As the dwarves set the crate down, one of the Haru Guards approaches the crate. At the lanky being’s command, the dwarves lift the lid of the crate up and off, exposing the bricks inside. The bricks are of a smokey gray, slightly iridescent stone – weapons-grade naqahdah.


Faizah is seated at the long table, engaged in a Senet match – a chess-like game – with one of her servants. Moving an obelisk-shaped piece, she takes one of her opponent’s.

At that moment, Sihathor and two other Haru Guards enter the chambers.

SIHATHOR: The shipment of naqahdah has arrived, Lady Faizah.

FAIZAH: (concentrating on the game) Send the bomb down to the stargate.

With one commanding look from Sihathor, the two falcon-headed guards collect the tray bearing the nuclear bomb and head off for the ring transporter.


More than a dozen figures emerge out of the desert and head for the pyramid. Kawalsky, Feretti, Brown, and the Nagadan kids walk forward with their hands behind their heads, a pair of armed Haru Guards shepherding them from behind; there is no sign of Daniel or O’Neal amongst the captives.


Silver light cascades down through the black rings and the pair of Haru Guards with the bomb materialize inside. As the transporter deactivates, the rings retracting back into the ceiling, the Haru Guards head for the gate chamber.


The Haru Guards entering the stargate chamber.

The Haru Guards carry the bomb-laden tray over to the open crate of naqahdah bricks. Lifting the tray up, they set it down atop the bricks, then proceed to turn around and head back on out.


Entering the entrance hall, the pair of Haru Guards and their captives make their way to the entrance into the antechamber. As the approach, the two Haru Guards who delivered the bomb step out. An armoured warrior lifts his hand, commanding them to halt. One of the shepherding Haru Guards then steps forward, approaching the warrior who ordered them to stop.

HARU GUARD #1: (subtitled) We caught the First Worlders and their helpers attempting to sneak back into the city. We’ve brought them back here, as Lady Faizah commanded.

HARU GUARD #2: (scrutinizes the captives; subtitled) The commander and the scribe – where are they?

HARU GUARD #1: (subtitled) Dead – killed in the firefight.

HARU GUARD #2: (subtitled) Why didn’t you report their capture?

HARU GUARD #1: (points at the damaged portions of his armour; subtitled) Our armour was damaged, our long-range transmission capabilities disabled.

The Haru Guard studies the other, blue-green eyes in search of some hidden untruth.

HARU GUARD #2: (subtitled) Disengage your exo-helm.

The other refuses to respond.

Unholstering his energy rifle, the suspicious Haru Guard approaches the other’s companion.

HARU GUARD #2: (angry; subtitled) Disengage your exo-helm!

Instead of obeying, he brings up his own energy rifle – single-barrelled – and jabs it into the Haru Guard’s stomach. The words he then speaks, though heavily bass-toned through the helm’s filters, are in recognizable English.

O’NEAL: How ya doin’?

The disguised colonel squeezes the rifle’s grip and an orange plasma bolt pierces through the Haru Guard’s armour and through his gut, the kinetic energy of the blast hurtling him backward.

As the dead Haru Guard hits the floor, O’Neal and Daniel both disengage their falcon-headed helms, bringing up their energy rifles to focus on the remaining Haru Guard. Just then two other Haru Guards – a pair who had been hiding somewhere within the entrance hall – come out into the open to assist their brother-in-arms.

The resulting firefight is incredibly, intensely bloody. Their hackles now up, the three armoured Haru Guards prove to be formidable opponents, avoiding direct hits from the energy rifles, staff weapon, and M4s of the Terrans and Nagadans long enough to kill several of their opponents. In the end, only five individuals are left standing alive: O’Neal, Daniel, Kawalsky, Sha’ure, and Skarra. Feretti, Brown, and Nabeh are all dead, more unfortunate casualties of this war.


Faizah is still engaged in the Senet game with her manservant. By all appearances, she has the upper hand at this point.

Sihathor enters again.

SIHATHOR: You summoned me, milady?

Taking her attention away from the game for a moment, Faizah gestures for the green-black armoured warrior to come to her. As he approaches, she reaches into her robes and pulls out the pendant bearing the Eye of Atum.

FAIZAH: (hands the pendant to Sihathor) Send the bomb to Earth now.

Accepting the pendant, Sihathor bows his head once in acknowledgement, then turns and leaves the chambers.


O’Neal, Daniel, Kawalsky, Sha’ure, and Skarra enter the chamber. As Skarra and Sha’ure see the stargate for the first time in their lives, their mouths drop agape, captivated by and in awe of this magnificent ring of iridescent black stone.

Crossing over to the bomb, the colonel picks it up and sets it down on the floor, standing it up on end. Setting the timer, he activates the weapon.

O’NEAL: Okay, Jackson, fire it up. You’ve got twelve minutes.

Heading for the dialling device, Daniel whips out his notebook and flips to the page with the address for Earth. When he goes to punch in the first glyph, though, the panel won’t depress, won’t light up, and neither does the stargate. He tries pressing other glyph panels, all to the same effect.

DANIEL: (frowns) Something’s wrong.

Leaving the dais, he steps up to the gate itself. Taking hold of the inner ring, he tries to turn it, but the thing won’t budge.

DANIEL: I don’t believe it!

KAWALSKY: What? What is it?

DANIEL: They’ve sealed the stargate!

Joining Daniel at the gate, he, too, tries turning the ring. It still won’t move.

KAWALSKY: He’s right, colonel. It’s locked up tight!

Before they can consider their next course of action, a Haru Guard – grievously wounded, possibly dying, but not yet dead – enters the chamber, double-barrelled energy rifle in hand. As he levels his weapon at O’Neal, Skarra jumps in between them.

O’NEAL: (horrified) Skarra --!

Skarra opens fire with his M4. The bullets make no mark on the Haru Guard’s bronze armour, but they do pass through the holes already present there, punching through the underlying flesh easily. As he collapses backward, the dying Haru Guard triggers his weapon one last time, firing off a shot which cuts straight through the boy.

Bringing up his own rifle, O’Neal fires several shots off into the Haru Guard, finishing him once and for all. Tossing the weapon aside, he then crouches down to the floor, taking the mortally wounded Skarra into his arms. As the boy looks up at the colonel, he smiles one last, faint smile. He then leaves this world, departing for whatever waits beyond.


As Sihathor steps up onto the ring platform, he turns around, his face of unyielding rock facing forward. Bringing forth his left arm, he presses down on the large, round blue crystal set in the back of his gauntlet, activating the ring transporter.

As the five black rings come up from the floor to surround him, Sihathor engages his helm, replacing one countenance of living stone with another.


As the aperture in the antechamber ceiling opens up, casting silver light down onto the floor, Daniel takes up his energy rifle and crosses over into the antechamber, positioning himself under the ten black rings as they make their descent. Sha’ure joins him, and despite his protests, he cannot turn her away.

O’NEAL: Jackson!

As O’Neal and Kawalsky approach the lovers, the rings encircle the scholar and Nagadan beauty completely.

DANIEL: Wait for us.

With a flash of silver light, they are gone, replaced with Sihathor.

As the rings return to their compartment, Sihathor swats O’Neal across the face, knocking the colonel aside. He then points his energy rifle at Kawalsky, firing off a bolt which catches the lieutenant colonel in the chest, sending him flying backward.

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Well, here we are – after almost three years, this screenplay is close to completion. After one more post – maybe two, three at most – this Stargate remake will be finished.

Thank goodness for that, too. I’ve too many scripts in-development as it is; being able to take one off the list will be a godsend.

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As the rings return to their compartment under the platform, Daniel and Sha’ure find themselves on the bridge of the Lady of Slaughter. Sha’ure, accustomed to Industrial Age technology and its trappings, is nearly overwhelmed by the Star Age architecture surrounding her now.

SHA’URE: The chariot of the gods. (beat) Daniel, we shouldn’t be here.

DANIEL: Precisely. You should’ve stayed down in the pyramid.

Taking Sha’ure by the hand, Daniel steps down from the ring platform and, turning left, takes them to an open doorway leading off the bridge.


As Kawalsky’s still form rests upon the floor where it fell, smoke rising from where the plasma burned through the fabric of his robes, O’Neal grapples with Sihathor.

Having seized hold of the Haru Guard’s energy rifle, his strength augmented by the stolen power armour he wears, the colonel tries to wrench it free of the extraterrestrial warrior’s grasp. Sihathor’s own armour-augmented strength is just as considerable, however, so the Terran manages to do nothing but trigger the weapon accidentally, blowing the weapon up in both their hands as the burning plasma reflects and refracts against their armoured gauntlets.

Pushed away from Sihathor by the blast, O’Neal hits the floor, rolling over to come beside the copper-plated staff weapon, which has lain discarded since Kawalsky was taken out of the fray. Though dazed, he takes hold of the sceptre and, fighting through his dizziness, pushes himself back up. As he brings the staff weapon around, priming it for fire, Sihathor grabs the head of the staff, pointing it away from him and locking the weapon in place between the two of them.

As O’Neal grimaces, fighting to free the staff weapon of Sihathor’s hold, the Haru Guard disengages his helm. As the falcon’s head retracts, Sihathor’s cruel face – gray and granite – is revealed once again.

A sinister grin coming to his thin lips, Sihathor forms a fist and brings it down on the shaft of the staff, snapping the weapon clean in two as the weak copper plating gives way.


The Senet game continues on. As her opponent makes his tentative move, Faizah smiles wryly, then picks up an obelisk.


As Sihathor takes a swing at him, O’Neal ducks, then sends an uppercut to the Haru Guard’s right armpit. Feeling the blow even through his protective armour, Sihathor doubles over. Spying the M4 of a slain Nagadan within reach, O’Neal makes a leap for the firearm. Sihathor recovers quickly enough to take hold of O’Neal in mid-leap, preventing him from obtaining the gun. Bearing his teeth, he hoists the colonel up then heaves him into a wall.

The timer of the bomb currently reads 7:13.


Moving the obelisk, Faizah takes her servant’s last remaining pyramid. The game is won.

DANIEL: (O.S.) Senet, eh?

Hearing his voice, Faizah turns her head, finding Daniel and Sha’ure standing there in the doorway, energy rifles fixed on her position. She doesn’t seem the least bit surprised or perturbed at their presence on-board the ship.

FAIZAH: Indeed. (smiles) Do you play?

DANIEL: After a fashion.

FAIZAH: (to her manservant) You may go.

As the servant rises to leave, Sha’ure turns her rifle on him. As he freezes there, terrified, Faizah rises from her chair, not at all worried.

FAIZAH: (points at Sha’ure) Who is your companion?

DANIEL: Just one of the locals. (tightens his grip on his rifle) Now, sit back down.

Disinterested in Daniel’s order, Faizah leaves her side of the table to join her servant. Placing an arm around his naked shoulders, she begins to stroke his hairless chest.

FAIZAH: Why come here now?

DANIEL: I think the answer’s obvious.

Smiling, Faizah shakes her head slightly, amused as if by some private joke.

FAIZAH: You’ve come here, demanding access to the stargate. (beat) It is yours – provided you have the key.

DANIEL: (puzzled) Key?


With O’Neal bloody and bashed, on the verge of black unconsciousness, Sihathor turns his back on him. He will finish the Terran off – most slowly, most painfully, and at his own leisure – after he has completed the business he was sent here to complete.

Stepping over to the bomb, he inspects the timer. Satisfied that the weapon is counting down to an inevitable detonation, he takes hold of the pendant clasped around his neck. As he lifts it up to the stargate, the Eye of Atum begins to glow, coming alive with golden light.


DANIEL: No more games, Faizah. Unseal the gate and let us return home or –

FAIZAH: (interrupts) – you’ll fire upon me? Cut me down with that rifle in your hands? (grins) By now you must know I’m immune to such weapons.

DANIEL: You aren’t wearing a suit of armour this time.

Faizah looks down upon her body. The robe she wears is of dark brown silk; it hasn’t the ability to withstand a sharply thrown pebble, let alone a searing plasma bolt.

FAIZAH: Very, very clever.

Faizah then shoves her servant forward, propelling him towards Sha’ure. Startled, the girl accidentally opens fire, tearing him open with a superheated plasma bolt; that same bolt continues on to impact against Faizah’s personal force field. Faizah then raises her right hand, exposing the punishment jewel; activating it, a kawoosh effect not unlike the stargate’s is unleashed, striking the two humans and hurtling them backward, parting them from their weapons.

FAIZAH: Now you can die together.


As the pendant glows in Sihathor’s hand, the nine panels on the stargate bearing the symbols for Earth light up. Within a second, the entire stargate powers up, unleashing a geyser blast of glowing quicksilver to form a bridge back to Terra.

As Sihathor stands there, basking in the silver light of the rippling puddle, O’Neal picks himself up and staggers over to an energy rifle lying upon the floor. Picking it up, he takes aim, wavers on unsteady knees, then fires.

The plasma bolt blasts right through the bomb’s arming mechanism, disabling it automatically.

Spinning around, Sihathor finds O’Neal standing there with the rifle in hand. Growling, he takes a running leap for the colonel.

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Faizah strides forward, dark folds of her brown robe unfurling behind her like the wings of a fallen angel as she approaches Sha’ure.

Battered but alert, Sha’ure scurries backward, fishing around inside her robes until she gets her hands on a pistol. As she pulls it out, Faizah lunges, seizing the girl’s wrist in her right hand, knocking her aim off as she pulls the trigger. Activating the punishment jewel, the demigoddess begins to rearrange the atoms in Sha’ure’s forearm.


Faizah releases Sha’ure’s arm before the jewel can work any serious damage, taking a step back as the Nagadan girl cradles her wrist in agony, evaluating the helpless creature.

FAIZAH: (to Daniel) You would spurn me for the affections of a waif such as her? (laughs sardonically) Pitiful.

Faizah brings her hand up again, reactivating the punishment jewel – not to realign the molecules of Sha’ure’s body this time, but to pulverize it into the floor with a force blast.


Collecting himself, Daniel rushes head-long for Faizah, but the demigoddess is quick to redirect her blast, knocking the Egyptologist back as he comes within reach of her.

FAIZAH: (frowns) I am no longer amused.

Leaving Sha’ure where she lies, Faizah moves over to Daniel. Crouching over him, she seizes the crown of his head in her right hand, engaging the dark jewel within the centre of her palm to deliver him a most grisly finale.


O’Neal seizes Sihathor in a bear hug as he comes to him. Wheeling him around, the colonel then headbutts him, breaking the Haru Guard’s nose and knocking his head back. Using fists, knees, and elbows, O’Neal turns the tables against Faizah’s second.

Locking his leg around Sihathor’s, he brings the Haru Guard crashing down. Pinning Sihathor in place, O’Neal then brings his heavy, armoured boot down on his throat, crushing it, bringing this conflict to a close.


Faizah and Daniel are locked together, her hand upon his head, the energies of her punishment jewel wreaking havoc upon his nervous system, paralysing him in place.

FAIZAH: Do you enjoy the kiss of the punishment jewel? It works on the same principles as the stargates, applied to much deadlier effect.

Daniel’s very face begins to ripple, the molecules swelling and contracting. Within seconds, Daniel will be dead.

Sha’ure then comes to Daniel’s aid. Attacking Faizah, she elbows the larger woman in the back – hard. Distracted, Faizah’s concentration breaks and the punishment jewel goes dim. Turning on her heel, she backhands Sha’ure across the face, sending her sprawling and quickly ending her role in this fight. With the matter-displacing energies of the punishment jewel no longer working upon him, however, Daniel’s been bought the opportunity he needs.

Lunging at Faizah, Daniel sends his hand forth, passing through the force field, plunging it deep into her abdominal pouch. Pulling the prim’ta out, Daniel tosses the white worm clear across the room – much to Faizah’s most-evident horror.


All thoughts of anything else forgotten, Faizah’s rushes over to the prim’ta, intent on preserving its health. Daniel and Sha’ure are quick to use this opportunity to escape.


O’Neal steps into the antechamber, dragging the limp, dead form of Sihathor behind him. Bringing it around, he deposits it directly beneath the inactive ring transporter.


Having returned to the bridge, Daniel and Sha’ure head on over to the ring transporter.

Climbing atop the platform, they then hear the mindless raging of Faizah in the distance.


O’Neal regards the body of Sihathor. Meeting the sightless eyes which stare straight upward, bright against the otherwise blood-darkened face, he then sights the gold pendant still entangled against his neck. Bending low, the colonel retrieves it.

O’NEAL: Give my regards to the Pussy Queen, asshole.

The colonel presses down on the colourless crystal adorning the back of his left gauntlet, activating the ring transporter.


Sha’ure and Daniel are still waiting there on the platform when Faizah enters. Face red and contorted with rage, she charges them.

The ring transporter activates at that very moment. White light shining up from the platform under their feet, the five iridescent black rings rise up to surround the pair, cutting Faizah off from them. With a flash of silver light, they are teleported away, Sihathor’s severed head taking their place upon the platform.

Faizah ROARS.


The ring transporter disengages. Daniel and Sha’ure find themselves back down inside the pyramid. O’Neal is there waiting for them, face hard, the pendant clasped in his hand.

Sha’ure recoils when she spots the decapitated body lying at their feet.


O’Neal, Daniel, and Sha’ure enter the stargate chamber. The stargate has returned to its dormant state, the connection to Earth severed once again. Raising the pendant up before the gate, the colonel closes his eyes, his brow furrowing as he concentrates. In moments, the Eye of Atum glows anew and the stargate reopens.

O’NEAL: (hands the pendant to Daniel) It’s a key to the stargate. It can open the door to Earth. It can probably open other doors, too.

Taking Sha’ure by the arm, Daniel takes a step forward toward the gate. She stops him from stepping through, though, when she hears a GROAN. Leaving the gate, they walk over to Kawalsky. As they examine him, looking him over for wounds, they open his robes up, revealing that he has been wearing a suit of Haru Guard armour under them this whole time; the plasma bolt laid him flat, but the armour saved his life.

Picking Kawalsky’s limp form up between them, Daniel and Sha’ure head for the stargate. They only stop when they notice O’Neal isn’t joining them. Indeed, he has turned his attentions to the bomb.

It seems that in between the killing of Sihathor and the beaming of his head up to the Lady, O’Neal spent his time tinkering with the bomb. A makeshift dead man’s switch has been jury-rigged into the weapon.

DANIEL: (dumbfounded) I thought we agreed to dismantle the gate on the other side.

O’NEAL: And you will. That’s your job now.

Taking hold of the switch, O’Neal engages it.

O’NEAL: (cont’d) I’m gonna stay here, make sure this goes off.

Daniel is ready to protest, but the colonel silences him with a steely gaze.

O’NEAL: (face softens) I’ll be seeing you around, Dr. Jackson.

Resigned to the colonel’s decision, Daniel exchanges solemn glances with Sha’ure. Together, Kawalsky held between them, they step through the stargate, leaving the pyramid, Nagada, and the whole of Abdju behind for all time. O’Neal watches the lovers vanish through the portal, his gaze lingering there for several moments.

As the ring transporter activates, O’Neal turns his attention to the antechamber. The ten rings pile up over the floor, white light shining down through them.

O’NEAL: (shuts his eyes tight) Sarah ….

Silver light passes down through the rings, then the transporter deactivates, leaving Faizah and seven Haru Guards standing there, all attired in their armour, armed with energy rifles.

Col. Jack O’Neal releases the switch and the world goes white.


Daniel, Sha’ure, and Kawalsky are spewed from the gate into the dark abyss of the embarkation room. Hitting the ramp, they take a roll, tumbling end-over-end until they come to a stop near the base.

After tending to Sha’ure as her first bout of gate sickness takes hold, after checking Kawalsky to make certain the lieutenant colonel suffered no further injuries transiting through the stargate, Daniel turns to look upon the glowing doorway which links Earth with Abdju. There then is a sudden burst of intense white light and that link is violently severed, casting them in pitch darkness.


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I suppose now that the screenplay’s finished, I can provide the list of actors who I’d cast to play each of the characters.












Unfortunately, I can’t think of a suitable actress for the part of Faizah.

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DuracellEnergizer said:

It looks like I’ll be returning to work on this screenplay soon, so in preparation I’ve made some alterations to the previously submitted entries to bring the script in line with my revised plot; I completely cut out the prologue set in 8000 BCE, among numerous other less-significant changes.

I’d just like to say that from this moment forward, the story of this remake will diverge from the story of the original film in a particularly significant way. Not to give away any spoilers, but you won’t find a white saviour narrative here.

Just been having a little read of this. And It’s quite good 😃

Just FYI the opening 8000 BC part was originally meant to be much longer and would have opened on hunters returning to the village. A strange shape was seen passing against the moon as they roasted the Animals they had caught for Dinner. Not saying you should incorporate this but just giving you some information.

There is a great chapter in the novel called “In The Beginning…” And it gives a lot of history to the Enslaved Earth people and the uprising too.

Keep up the good work 😃


Ronster said:

Just FYI the opening 8000 BC part was originally meant to be much longer and would have opened on hunters returning to the village. A strange shape was seen passing against the moon as they roasted the Animals they had caught for Dinner. Not saying you should incorporate this but just giving you some information.

Oh, I know all about the extended opening; I even included it in the first draft of this script. During the revision process, though, I felt it gave too much away too soon, so I decided to remove it.

There is a great chapter in the novel called “In The Beginning…” And it gives a lot of history to the Enslaved Earth people and the uprising too.

I used the novelization as a reference when working on this screenplay, so I’ve borrowed a number of concepts and ideas from it, including some of the stuff revolving around the early days of Ra’s empire.

Keep up the good work 😃

Thanks. 😃

Divergent Universes
Dreams of a Randy Git-Fiend

Make Off Topic great again.