Star Wars: The Trilogy **PROJECT STALLED DUE TO HARD DRIVE FAILURE** — Page 8

Nice structure (which fits well with the Fan-o-matic variations therefore potentially reusable for other editors too) but some of the language lacks that Star Wars crawl hyperbole ("cobbled together" for example).

Yeah, I know.  Like I said, I'm not quite happy with it just yet.  The whole thing feels a bit ... clunky to me, for lack of a better term.

ChainsawAsh said:

My current draft, obviously subject to change:

 

RETURN OF THE JEDI

The rebellion stands on the brink
of destruction.  The GALACTIC
EMPIRE has begun construction
on a new armored space station
even more powerful than the first
dreaded Death Star.

As the rebels gather in preparation
for a last-ditch offensive against
the Empire, Han Solo is imprisoned
by the vile gangster Jabba the Hutt,
and Luke Skywalker remains
with Yoda to complete his Jedi
training.

Unwilling to await Luke's return any
longer, Princess Leia has rashly cobbled
together a desperate plan to rescue
the man she loves, while the Emperor
sets into motion his own plot that could
spell certain doom for the rebels. . . .

 

I'm still not 100% happy with it, but that's what I've come up with so far.  I won't start work in earnest on ROTJ until SW and ESB are finished (and even that will be a pre-Revisited rough draft), so I've got quite a while to worry about this.

Thanks.  I'll whip up a quick crawl with footage from the first part of your edit and have it up on YouTube shortly.

Before I render the video, I want to you show you some re-working on the crawl:

The rebellion stands on the verge
of destruction.  The GALACTIC
EMPIRE is secretly constructing
a new armored space station
even more powerful than the first
dreaded Death Star.

As the alliance regroups in preparation
for the ultimate offensive against
the evil Empire, Han Solo remains a
prisoner of the vile gangster, Jabba the Hutt.

While Luke Skywalker remains
on Dagobah to complete his
Jedi training, a desperate Princess
Leia rallies together an impetuous
plan to save the man that
she loves. . . .

All of the changes that I made are in bold.  I felt that the third paragraph need some work since it should update the audience on what is going one right now.

Let me know what you think.  If it's acceptable, I'll go ahead and render the video.

G E Predator said:

Before I render the video, I want to you show you some re-working on the crawl:

The rebellion stands on the verge
of destruction.  The GALACTIC
EMPIRE is secretly constructing
a new armored space station
even more powerful than the first
dreaded Death Star.

As the alliance regroups in preparation
for the ultimate offensive against
the evil Empire, Han Solo remains a
prisoner of the vile gangster, Jabba the Hutt.

While Luke Skywalker remains
on Dagobah to complete his
Jedi training, a desperate Princess
Leia rallies together an impetuous
plan to save the man that
she loves. . . .

All of the changes that I made are in bold.  I felt that the third paragraph need some work since it should update the audience on what is going one right now.

Let me know what you think.  If it's acceptable, I'll go ahead and render the video.

I'd remove one of the "remains", and "plan to save the man she loves" (which reads more like an advert for chocolate or diamonds than a Star Wars crawl) and change "prisoner" to "captive" (Han isn't in prison but he has been captured).

Bingowings said:

G E Predator said:

Before I render the video, I want to you show you some re-working on the crawl:

The rebellion stands on the verge
of destruction.  The GALACTIC
EMPIRE is secretly constructing
a new armored space station
even more powerful than the first
dreaded Death Star.

As the alliance regroups in preparation
for the ultimate offensive against
the evil Empire, Han Solo remains a
prisoner of the vile gangster, Jabba the Hutt.

While Luke Skywalker remains
on Dagobah to complete his
Jedi training, a desperate Princess
Leia rallies together an impetuous
plan to save the man that
she loves. . . .

All of the changes that I made are in bold.  I felt that the third paragraph need some work since it should update the audience on what is going one right now.

Let me know what you think.  If it's acceptable, I'll go ahead and render the video.

I'd remove one of the "remains", and "plan to save the man she loves" (which reads more like an advert for chocolate or diamonds than a Star Wars crawl) and change "prisoner" to "captive" (Han isn't in prison but he has been captured).

Okay, how about this?

The rebellion stands on the verge
of destruction.  The GALACTIC
EMPIRE is secretly constructing
a new armored space station
even more powerful than the first
dreaded Death Star.

As the alliance regroups in preparation
for the ultimate offensive against
the evil Empire, Han Solo remains a
captive of the vile gangster, Jabba the Hutt.

While Luke Skywalker returns
on Dagobah to complete his
Jedi training, a desperate Princess
Leia rallies together an impetuous
rescue mission on Tatooine. . . . .

Much better but I thought in this take Luke had returned to Dagobah pretty much straight after ESB so perhaps "As Luke Skywalker completes his training on Dagobah" (which trims the final paragraph too).

That would necessitate a slight re-jig of the line about the Alliance (too many 'as's).

Bingowings said:

Much better but I thought in this take Luke had returned to Dagobah pretty much straight after ESB so perhaps "As Luke Skywalker completes his training on Dagobah" (which trims the final paragraph too).

That would necessitate a slight re-jig of the line about the Alliance (too many 'as's).

Well it was your idea that I change "While Luke Skywalker remains on Dagobah..." to get rid of the extra "remain" in the crawl.  Also there is only one "as" in the entire crawl.  So the first line of the last paragraph would be "While Luke Skywalker completes his Jedi training on Dagobah..."

ChainsawAsh, I present to you the first rough cut of your ROTJ fan-edit intro...

but first, I need to apologize in advance for one thing.  Around the 9:43 mark, there is a brief but annoying buzz sound, and then the sound on the rest of video goes out of sync.  For the most part of this 10 minute 56 second video, everything else turned out great.

...now without further ado, I present to you the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyBpWuIY6Mw

Hey, is this project still in the works?

I gotta be honest.  I don't think many people really like the alternate ROTJ opening sequences.

Yes, this project is still in the works.  It's on hold for the rest of the semester - Editing II is really kicking my ass.  I'm working on an all-Spanish short ... and I don't speak Spanish.

And it doesn't really matter to me if other people don't like the alternate ROTJ opening idea, I highly prefer it, which is the whole reason I'm doing this.  I'm sharing them because I feel others may be interested as well.  I won't, however, be doing any alternate/"purist" editions of ROTJ.

Basically, if you're looking for an ultra-purist Star Wars: Revisited, that's pretty much what my Star Wars edit is.  My Empire edit will be the same, but with the new Episode-less opening crawl.  If you don't want that, it's not a hard thing to replace - I'll be using the same starfield Ady uses, so you could easily just cut in his crawl.  Same goes for Star Wars if you want the Episode IV tag.

Jedi will be an entirely different matter.  If someone else made an ultra-purist ROTJ: Revisited, that's cool (but Ady's call, not mine), because I don't foresee ROTJ:R being welcomed by purists, and I don't think Ady will do a purist version.  But if that's what you're expecting with my ROTJ because of the way the first two will turn out, I'm warning you now that my ROTJ will go further edit-wise than ROTJ:R, mainly with the restructuring, removal of Boba Fett, and the elimination of the Leia/Luke relationship (and the possibility of new character deaths).  If someone makes a purist ROTJ:R and then uses an episode-less crawl to make a "purist" version of my trilogy set, that's cool with me too.  But I won't be doing that.

Sorry for the mini-rant, I just wanted to be absolutely clear on this issue.

ChainsawAsh said:

Yes, this project is still in the works.  It's on hold for the rest of the semester - Editing II is really kicking my ass.  I'm working on an all-Spanish short ... and I don't speak Spanish.

And it doesn't really matter to me if other people don't like the alternate ROTJ opening idea, I highly prefer it, which is the whole reason I'm doing this.  I'm sharing them because I feel others may be interested as well.  I won't, however, be doing any alternate/"purist" editions of ROTJ.

Basically, if you're looking for an ultra-purist Star Wars: Revisited, that's pretty much what my Star Wars edit is.  My Empire edit will be the same, but with the new Episode-less opening crawl.  If you don't want that, it's not a hard thing to replace - I'll be using the same starfield Ady uses, so you could easily just cut in his crawl.  Same goes for Star Wars if you want the Episode IV tag.

Jedi will be an entirely different matter.  If someone else made an ultra-purist ROTJ: Revisited, that's cool (but Ady's call, not mine), because I don't foresee ROTJ:R being welcomed by purists, and I don't think Ady will do a purist version.  But if that's what you're expecting with my ROTJ because of the way the first two will turn out, I'm warning you now that my ROTJ will go further edit-wise than ROTJ:R, mainly with the restructuring, removal of Boba Fett, and the elimination of the Leia/Luke relationship (and the possibility of new character deaths).  If someone makes a purist ROTJ:R and then uses an episode-less crawl to make a "purist" version of my trilogy set, that's cool with me too.  But I won't be doing that.

Sorry for the mini-rant, I just wanted to be absolutely clear on this issue.

"They are clear, my master"

I'm posting a new clip of about 4 and a half minutes of the Battle of Yavin.  My main concern is that the constant switching between Belbucus' restored mono mix and a mono fold-down of Ady's Revisited 5.1 will be too jarring, but since I'm only watching it with laptop speakers, I really can't tell.

Here it is (as of now, it's still processing, though): Battle of Yavin In Progress

I'd like you guys to listen to it using the best audio equipment you can find.  Please, please give me an honest opinion, and if possible suggestions for how I can improve the quality of the 5.1/mono mix.

I tried to hide the transitions as best I could underneath laser fire and explosions, and by using audio dissolves.  I get the feeling that it works sometimes, but not all the time ...

This project is very near completion - the only things I have left to do:

- Finalize the audio mix
- Create the new crawl
- Create the new end credits
- Figure out how to do the stormtrooper search scene ("Look, sir! Droids!") without keeping the 2 SE shots that I hate so much
- Get a copy of the 2004 DVD, rip the Greedo/Han scene, color correct it, and add subtitles based on the 1977 theatrical positioning/font

And that's it.

So how is this coming along Ash? still waiting to see this baby LOL,is there anything else you are still needing?

Well, I just posted a new clip five days ago, it's the post right above yours.  I also listed (in the same post) everything there is left to do for this edit.  Then I play the waiting game for ESB:R to be released.

I'd greatly appreciate it if you (and everyone!) would watch the clip, but more importantly, listen to it with the best sound equipment you've got.  I want to know how jarring the (many) transitions from folded-down Revisited 5.1 to 1977 mono are.

I'm still confident that I can get this out there by the end of the year.  Perhaps as a nice Thanksgiving or Christmas present for OT.Com ...

ChainsawAsh said:

I'm posting a new clip of about 4 and a half minutes of the Battle of Yavin.  My main concern is that the constant switching between Belbucus' restored mono mix and a mono fold-down of Ady's Revisited 5.1 will be too jarring, but since I'm only watching it with laptop speakers, I really can't tell.

Here it is (as of now, it's still processing, though): Battle of Yavin In Progress

I'd like you guys to listen to it using the best audio equipment you can find.  Please, please give me an honest opinion, and if possible suggestions for how I can improve the quality of the 5.1/mono mix.

I tried to hide the transitions as best I could underneath laser fire and explosions, and by using audio dissolves.  I get the feeling that it works sometimes, but not all the time ...

This project is very near completion - the only things I have left to do:

- Finalize the audio mix
- Create the new crawl
- Create the new end credits
- Figure out how to do the stormtrooper search scene ("Look, sir! Droids!") without keeping the 2 SE shots that I hate so much
- Get a copy of the 2004 DVD, rip the Greedo/Han scene, color correct it, and add subtitles based on the 1977 theatrical positioning/font

And that's it.

Just out of curiousity, why create a new crawl when you could just use the crawl from the Unaltered DVD version of Star Wars?

So it will match with the other two crawls that I will have to recreate.  I know the crawls in all six movies don't match perfectly, but dammit, the three in my edits will!

ChainsawAsh said:

So it will match with the other two crawls that I will have to recreate.  I know the crawls in all six movies don't match perfectly, but dammit, the three in my edits will!

I see.  The crawls of all six movies don't exactly match because of their time span and the other stuff that happened during that span.

I'm guessing you trilogy fan-edit will have all three OT films occur continuously, like all three Back the Future films.

The crawls of the first three don't match because they were each made three years apart, with many variables such as film stock and optical compositing, which results in crawls that are slightly different sizes and colors (and ROTJ has three periods at the end instead of four, which all 5 other films have - this will also be rectified in my ROTJ).

With digital rendering of the crawls, these inconsistencies disappear - they can be made to be the exact same color and size by modifying an After Effects template (which I'll be creating for myself based on the 1977 pre-ANH crawl).  Why the prequels' crawls vary so much is beyond me - there's no reason for it since they were created digitally.

It's not so much that they occur continuously - in my mind, ESB takes place a year or two after ANH, and ROTJ about three years after ESB (implying that Luke trained on Dagobah for a couple weeks to a couple months during ESB, and completed his training over an additional 3 years after ESB).  It's more about consistency of the look of the films than the idea that the beginning of one picks up where the ending of the other left off.

I'm also not going to put specific years in my edits - that's the timeframe in my mind, but it's open enough to interpretation that, even with my edits, you can decide for yourself how much time elapses between each film.

ChainsawAsh said:

The crawls of the first three don't match because they were each made three years apart, with many variables such as film stock and optical compositing, which results in crawls that are slightly different sizes and colors (and ROTJ has three periods at the end instead of four, which all 5 other films have - this will also be rectified in my ROTJ).

With digital rendering of the crawls, these inconsistencies disappear - they can be made to be the exact same color and size by modifying an After Effects template (which I'll be creating for myself based on the 1977 pre-ANH crawl).  Why the prequels' crawls vary so much is beyond me - there's no reason for it since they were created digitally.

It's not so much that they occur continuously - in my mind, ESB takes place a year or two after ANH, and ROTJ about three years after ESB (implying that Luke trained on Dagobah for a couple weeks to a couple months during ESB, and completed his training over an additional 3 years after ESB).  It's more about consistency of the look of the films than the idea that the beginning of one picks up where the ending of the other left off.

I'm also not going to put specific years in my edits - that's the timeframe in my mind, but it's open enough to interpretation that, even with my edits, you can decide for yourself how much time elapses between each film.

From my studies (and not on Wikipedia), The time space between ANH and ESB is 3 years, which is logical since after the Empire forced the Rebels out of their hidden base on Yavin they would need time to find the hidden base on Hoth and set up there.  Also, Luke endures a series of events that helps progress his training.

The time span between ESB and ROTJ is only about 1 year or less.  Luke spent months, possible half a year on Dagobah, training under Yoda's guidance.  Also, the time Han spent frozen in carbonite is logical because he was near death.  Had he been frozen for 3 years, he surely would have been dead.  I would say the time space between ESB and ROTJ would range between 6 months and 1 year.

Personally, I don't like the opening to your edit. I'd rather see it start in space with Palp's ship or the SD, not paning down at Jabba's. It doesn't set a good tone for the movie. It sort of bores you. The movie needs to lead up to the last half hour of the movie.

I do however like the idea of the Luke on Dagobah scenes at the beginning. But, it doesn't flow very well and seems rushed. It feels like their conversation just left off from ESB.

You're saying that as if I've actually started my ROTJ edit.  It's more likely at the moment that I'll be altering the current opening to use the Executor, Vader's shuttle, the Death Star II, and Endor, but arranged differently than the current opening, which is a carbon-copy of the opening to the first film.

After that I'll either go to Luke on Dagobah, or to the Boushh/Chewbacca scene and then to Luke on Dagobah.  And the feeling that their "conversation just left off from ESB" is a good thing - the idea is that after ESB ended, Luke, Leia, Lando and Chewie came up with a plan to save Han, then Luke returned to Dagobah to finish his training before the plan is implemented.  Leia gets impatient with not saving Han and makes up her own half-baked plan to save him, which more or less completely fails, leaving Luke, now a full Jedi, to clean up her mess for her.  This also explains the incredibly haphazard way the "plan" seems to unfold in ROTJ.

But anyway, I'm not focusing on ROTJ at all right now - I'm still finishing up work on Star Wars.  Good news here - I'm getting a very nice set of Sennheiser mixing-quality headphones for Christmas, so, in the interest of using them to iron out the Revisited-to-mono-mix transitions until I'm satisfied that the transitions aren't noticeable, it looks like this project may see a January or February release (perhaps you guys'll get a nice present from me on my birthday).

Oh, and G E, I'm not sure that I agree with the timeframe you posit there, but as I said, my edits will be just as open to interpretation as far as timeframe goes as the originals were, so I'm not going to stress about that too much.  I'm going more by "feel" than logic, though - everyone looks like they've aged much more from ESB to ROTJ than from SW to ESB, at least in my opinion.

ESB doesn't start with a major Star Destroyer scene (we only get the probe droid being launched) it's then a long time before Vader gets his big entrance.

Perhaps it could start with a Star Destroyer launching construction droids at the building site and then cut to Dagobah.

Typing this I've just realised it might be a good suggestion for the wishlist thread too so I will copy it over to there too.