Sign In

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker Redux Ideas thread — Page 17

Author
Time

What About the Title? I dont Like “Rise of Skywalker”. I think “The Last Jedi strikes Back” or “Revenge of the Last Jedi” sounds better.

Author
Time

I like some of these - but how do you then explain Rey’s unprecedented Force-prowess sans training…?

StarkillerAG said:

Some ideas I have for editing this movie:

-Rewrite the opening crawl to remove overt mentions of Palpatine, making his return feel less abrupt.

-Cut Snoke clones in a lobster tank. It makes no sense.

-Cut lightspeed skipping. It breaks the rules of hyperspace travel, and it feels contrived.

-Trim Rey and Poe’s argument to remove mention of lightspeed skipping.

-If there is any deleted material that could pad out the first act, I’d really like to add it.

-Cut the little alien asking Rey’s name, for continuity with later changes.

-Cut “They fly now.” It’s really dumb.

-Cut the heroes encountering a big snake, and Rey healing it.

-Cut all uses of Force healing throughout the movie. It creates a huge plot hole if you can use the Force to resurrect people.

-Cut Rey seemingly killing Chewie. He turns out to be alive a few minutes later, so it feels pointless.

-Remove fakeout deaths throughout the movie. Actions must have consequences.

-Trim the scenes immediately afterward to remove mention of Chewie’s apparent death.

-Trim Zorii as much as possible, removing all romantic implications with Poe.

-Trim the Force bond lightsaber duel to remove Kylo saying that Rey’s parents weren’t actually drunkards.

-Remove Rey Palpatine completely, preserving TLJ’s plot twist.

-Cut Rey aligning the dagger with the Death Star wreckage. It feels contrived, especially when the dagger was created 20 years ago.

-Cut Rey healing Kylo on the Death Star, for reasons stated above.

-Cut the Final Order destroying Kijimi, along with the idea that every ship has a mini Death Star.

-Cut R2 restoring 3PO’s memory. Actions must have consequences.

-Cut Palpatine saying he never wanted Rey dead. It doesn’t mesh with the rest of the movie.

-Cut Zorii showing up in the final battle. Even without Kijimi being destroyed it feels contrived.

-Cut Ben climbing out of the pit and healing Rey, for reasons stated above.

-Trim the victory celebration to remove Maz giving Chewie a medal, Lando acting creepy to Jannah, and Poe’s interaction with Zorii.

-Cut Rey returning to Tatooine, ending the movie with the group hug. It’s a far better ending, and it doesn’t reuse the end music from TFA.

Those are just the ideas I have right now. If I have any more I’ll post them.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

StarkillerAG said:

Here’s my idea for the opening crawl:

Episode IX
BALANCE OF THE FORCE

Luke Skywalker is dead.
But his sacrifice has inspired
people across the galaxy to
rise up against the evil FIRST
ORDER.

As Rey, the last Jedi, trains
for battle, she receives the
guidance of Luke’s sister Leia
and the wisdom of ancient texts.

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren searches
relentlessly for an ancient SITH
WAYFINDER, which could allow him
to unlock the secrets of his old
master…

Nice one! Here’s my current best draft.

Episode IX
THE RISE OF SKYWALKER

Luke Skywalker has ignited a resurgence of hope in the galaxy. The populace of countless worlds have risen in defiance of the diabolical First Order.

As Rey, sole heir to the Jedi, trains for battle, she receives guidance from General Leia Organa and the wisdom of sacred texts.

Meanwhile, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren searches relentlessly for an ancient SITH WAYFINDER which could allow him to unlock the secrets of his former master’s power…

buzzclub said:

What About the Title? I dont Like “Rise of Skywalker”. I think “The Last Jedi strikes Back” or “Revenge of the Last Jedi” sounds better.

I think the title is appropriate but if one were to remove the ending with her name change and/or Palpatinian lineage, a title change may be in order.

Could go with several options. ‘The Phantom Menace,’ ‘Revenge of the Sith,’ ‘The Phantom Sith,’ ‘Revenge of the Phantom Sith,’ ‘Return of the Sith,’ ‘The Final Order (sort of like The Last Command), ‘Heir to the Jedi,’ ‘Legacy of the Jedi/Force,’ ‘Skywalker Sound,’ etc.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Honestly all three titles of the Thrawn trilogy would totally work for the Sequel Trilogy. Heir to the Empire, Dark Force Rising, and The Last Command.

I really like Balance of the Force as an alternate title. Legacy of the Force works too.

I see what you mean how if you remove her name change, it might warrant a title change. I think if you emphasized the “rise” of the Skywalker legend throughout the galaxy. Or if Ben Solo lived, though I guess his redemption counts as a “rise” as well maybe.

I think an opening phrase like, “Hope is alive!” would be a nice way to keep the vibe of “The dead speak!” but focus more on the ripple effect of Luke’s actions in the last film rather than revealing the Emperor has survived in the opening crawl.

Author
Time

Here’s the problem with the crawl, you have to start out with the threat. You can’t have two paragraphs of “good guys are winning,” that’s not terribly exciting or urgent enough.

Author
Time

I wish we’d gotten a film for which ‘Balance of the Force’ would be a suitable title.

It is kinda funny how fitting the Thrawn trilogy titles would be.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

DominicCobb said:

Here’s the problem with the crawl, you have to start out with the threat. You can’t have two paragraphs of “good guys are winning,” that’s not terribly exciting or urgent enough.

I wonder, though, if this particular movie might do well with exactly that. Imply that people seem pretty hopeful and all that, then your opening sequence establishes that “the First Order was just the beginning” and “witness the power of my forty-seven THOUSAND star destroyers!”

In my crawl draft, I thought about adding the word ‘disparate’ regarding the worlds of people who have risen up. There are more of them than each may realize and they haven’t coalesced. The FO has them believing they’re alone. But when I read it back it sounded weird.

“The populace of countless [disparate] worlds have risen in defiance of the diabolical First Order.”

While the use of ‘have’ is grammatically correct, it might appear not to be, and the use of ‘disparate’ may help make it clear the subject is plural. (Populace can be singular or plural. If such a word existed, the sentence would use ‘populaces.’)

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

Author
Time

You could just say “countless disparate worlds-“

Author
Time

It’s not worlds themselves, sir, it’s their… people.

I think just saying “countless [disparate] worlds” implies organized political actions rather than what the ‘civilian army’ we see at the end.

Star Wars crawls are fun when the grammar is treacherous. I like writing formally and with an archaic flourish when at all appropriate.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

Author
Time

That is true! I think the sentence with “disparate” works well, either way I think it still makes sense.

Author
Time

RogueLeader said:

Honestly all three titles of the Thrawn trilogy would totally work for the Sequel Trilogy. Heir to the Empire, Dark Force Rising, and The Last Command.

So I agree completely with this and have been intending to use these titles for my own edits (if I ever get around to making them) … but I just know if I release them publicly under those titles I’ll get skewered.

Author
Time

Yeah, I think people would just be disappointed because they’re not the same story.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Hal 9000 said:

DominicCobb said:

Here’s the problem with the crawl, you have to start out with the threat. You can’t have two paragraphs of “good guys are winning,” that’s not terribly exciting or urgent enough.

I wonder, though, if this particular movie might do well with exactly that. Imply that people seem pretty hopeful and all that, then your opening sequence establishes that “the First Order was just the beginning” and “witness the power of my forty-seven THOUSAND star destroyers!”

In my crawl draft, I thought about adding the word ‘disparate’ regarding the worlds of people who have risen up. There are more of them than each may realize and they haven’t coalesced. The FO has them believing they’re alone. But when I read it back it sounded weird.

“The populace of countless [disparate] worlds have risen in defiance of the diabolical First Order.”

Well I do think you’re on to something, one of the few clear themes that comes through in this movie is uniting and working together, so it’d be wise to set that up.

I get what you’re saying about making it seem like the good guys are winning, but I think it doesn’t really track with what we see of the Resistance in the film, they’re clearly struggling even before Palpatine is on the scene.

That in mind, this is my new crawl mockup

The galaxy is divided. All over, people raise arms in the fight for freedom, and are quickly quelled by the tyrannical FIRST ORDER.

But the spark of hope burns bright, under the leadership of GENERAL LEIA ORGANA, who dispatches her agents to unite these disparate worlds in the name of RESISTANCE.

Meanwhile, SUPREME LEADER KYLO REN searches for the source of his former master’s dark power, anxious to end the cycle of war once and for all. . . .

I’ve ditched Rey completely as it’s a distraction that doesn’t tell us anything we don’t already know. I didn’t mention Luke because it’d feel weird to me to mention a character in the crawl who isn’t really in the movie, plus I think the “spark” should invoke him well enough. I’m also hoping to make it seem like rounding up the people of the galaxy is something that’s been in the works for awhile and doesn’t just occur cause they all lost bets to Lando. And finally, I’m trying to retain some continuity with Kylo’s goals from TLJ by reframing them a bit.

Author
Time

RogueLeader said:

Yeah, I think people would just be disappointed because they’re not the same story.

Hal’s prequel edits don’t follow the plots of the books they’re named after either.

Author
Time

Hal 9000 said:

I wish we’d gotten a film for which ‘Balance of the Force’ would be a suitable title.

It is kinda funny how fitting the Thrawn trilogy titles would be.

To my mind TFA suits the ‘Balance of the Force’ title best, because it does two things: Suggests that Rey and Kylo Ren are the new balance, and also implies that this is what was meant by Luke ‘bringing balance to the Force’.

Author
Time

sade1212 said:

RogueLeader said:

Yeah, I think people would just be disappointed because they’re not the same story.

Hal’s prequel edits don’t follow the plots of the books they’re named after either.

But those books aren’t put on a pedestal by fans the way the Thrawn trilogy has been for almost 30 years.

Author
Time

ChainsawAsh said:

sade1212 said:

RogueLeader said:

Yeah, I think people would just be disappointed because they’re not the same story.

Hal’s prequel edits don’t follow the plots of the books they’re named after either.

But those books aren’t put on a pedestal by fans the way the Thrawn trilogy has been for almost 30 years.

Yup. the only sequel I’d want to potentially change the name of in an edit is The Rise of Skywalker, and only if it was a “Rey nobody” edit.

Author
Time

I feel like the Xyston Star Destroyer was a bit of a disappointing design - like its just a classic SD with a big gun (and a red stripe). Like the Stormtroopers are overhauled with red armour - why not redesign the star destroyers too?

Author
Time

Could we make the destroyers all red? Or black with more prominent red tripes

Peace is a lie
There is only passion…

Author
Time

Changing the models would need crazy vfx work, for now the least we could do is recolor the current destroyers

Peace is a lie
There is only passion…

Author
Time

The Horror said:

I suggest putting a clone of Luke in a tank on Exogol. That would imply the Luke we saw in TLJ was actually a deranged clone - maybe Luuke from the Thrawn Trilogy survived and tried to train some Jedi.

That’s hilarious and I kind of actually like the idea but would prefer it to be a clone of Palpatine. That way no gravitas is taken away from Snoke while explaining how Palpatine is still annoying the Galaxy.

learn about my fanedits at https://krausfadr.wordpress.com/
heil palpatine.

Author
Time

Hal 9000 said:

It’s not worlds themselves, sir, it’s their… people.

I think just saying “countless [disparate] worlds” implies organized political actions rather than what the ‘civilian army’ we see at the end.

Star Wars crawls are fun when the grammar is treacherous. I like writing formally and with an archaic flourish when at all appropriate.

Hal for my own personal edit I would like to use this crawl or a variation as long as you don’t mind me using some of your ideas:

The legend of LUKE SKYWALKER has sparked A NEW HOPE across the galaxy. Countless planetary systems now rise up in defiance of the diabolical FIRST ORDER.

REY, the last chance for the survival of the Jedi, seeks to commune with heroes of the past, while Supreme Leader KYLO REN prepares to destroy the planet CORELLIA and with it all memories of his father.

Meanwhile THE RESISTANCE dispatches secret agents to gather intelligence, desperate to end this long war…

learn about my fanedits at https://krausfadr.wordpress.com/
heil palpatine.

Author
Time

Of course, run with it.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

Author
Time

One aspect of the film that I really don’t jive with is how a scene is taken to explain just how the First Order troops are taken against their will at birth and trained to fight for a cause they had no say in, only for all of them manning the Destroyers at the end to get blown up and killed.

I think this can be knocked out along with the issue of how all the Destroyers got built by one thing. If someone goes the route of having the Emperor return and show off the Destroyers to Kylo at the end of EpVIII, we can take a bit of the crawl for EpIX to exposit that the Emperor has created his own clone army to bolster his numbers and erect the Final Order.

OR

If you went the route of turning Snoke’s dialogue into a Sith Dialect and creating new lines for him using subtitles (I really like this concept), you could have him allude to a secret army being constructed that is “the largest in the galaxy” and use it as a carrot on a stick to motivate Kylo Ren along his Sith journey, along with some teasing of an ancient dark lord to smoothe over the Emperor return.