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Star Wars Episode II: The Approaching Storm (Finished!) — Page 21

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All I’ve been able to do so far is sequence the droid factory, getting the shots in order and rendering an extremely rough cut with simple cross fades. It’ll have to wait until I have some time to dedicate, but I am confident it can be made to feel believable. I’m intrigued by Dom’s rescoring project, but I’m afraid I don’t have it in me to attempt a massive overhaul. It’ll hopefully just feel like the existing cues aren’t chopped up.

And if anyone does care to animate the shot after Jango appears where Anakin lowers his broken saber, replacing it with a deactivation, that’d be great. For lack of that, the shot L8 used works well enough.

Another question is whether, if this indeed is put into the edit, do we really need the scene between Padme and Dooku. We’ve already heard his deal in the scene with Obi-Wan, and it doesn’t provide a direct bridge to execution, either.

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I’m in favor of keeping the deleted scene, in order to keep Padmé as a political figure. It’s also interesting to see the two faces of Dooku: the former Jedi (Obi-Wan scene) and the separatist leader (Padmé scene).

“I have to say that I felt George’s group of six films had more innovative visual imagination, and this film was more of a retrenchment to things you had seen before and characters you had seen before, and it took a few baby steps forward with new characters.” - James Cameron about Episode VII.

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Here’s what I was able to do with about 20 minutes to focus on the droid factory. It’s worth revisiting with another pass later, but I think this is about as good as I can do with the existing musical score with the shots laid out this way. It seems to me that a level of insanity that perhaps only Dom could muster would improve upon it very much, maybe redoing most of the foley and laying in new score.

https://vimeo.com/341941628
password: fanedit

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Just go directly from 0:20 to 2:00 😉
Add the deleted scene, it improves Doku and Padmé characters.

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lol, like they just sprint straight there?

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I still think that adding the droid factory sequence back in is a bad idea. It was one of the last minute additions that George Lucas came up with while shooting Attack of the Clones just because there wasn’t enough action in the film. When you watch the sequence, it all really comes down to nothing in terms of story. I think it works well enough by replacing the sequence with the deleted scene between Padmé and Dooku as it was before.

Noah Lawson

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This is a question of the less of two evils: a dumb action sequence no one likes, or the feeling that something is missing. I’m making my best attempt to set up a Plan B of how including it would be, for now.

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Hal 9000 said:

This is a question of the less of two evils: a dumb action sequence no one likes, or the feeling that something is missing. I’m making my best attempt to set up a Plan B of how including it would be, for now.

Okay. I was just curious why you were considering putting it back in.

Noah Lawson

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All right, here’s the entire sequence, deleted scene included, for your consideration. (I’ve improved the audio a little since the prior clip, too.) Project yourself back into a physical theater seat in May 2002. Feel the cushion beneath you, smell the popcorn, and roll your eyes gently at the small child sitting in the row in front of you. Then, consider whether the following clip or the existing version of TAS better meets your expectations for a complete, finished film.

https://vimeo.com/342042553
password: fanedit

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I honestly think this works best! While I have major issues with the original droid factory scene, the pacing in the existing version of TAS always seemed a little… off. I think this is a very good compromise and would be happy for this to be a part of V6!

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Put me in the pro camp as well. Even though the scene itself isn’t exactly a winner it feels like a smoother transition.

That’s alright. Just something interesting to point out. TM2YC also revealed the Jedi the same way The Phantom Editor did by digitally painting out the lightsabers in the background in one shot of Dooku.

This I’m interested in seeing. One of the strongest edits in Attack of the Phantom that I haven’t seen many editors try to replicate.

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I just got a copy of his edit and while it’s a small file size, I think culling that one shot would be worth it. I’ll go for it, as long as it blends in as well as it should. Thanks for mentioning that!

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Hal 9000 said:

All right, here’s the entire sequence, deleted scene included, for your consideration. (I’ve improved the audio a little since the prior clip, too.) Project yourself back into a physical theater seat in May 2002. Feel the cushion beneath you, smell the popcorn, and roll your eyes gently at the small child sitting in the row in front of you. Then, consider whether the following clip or the existing version of TAS better meets your expectations for a complete, finished film.

https://vimeo.com/342042553
password: fanedit

Even with your trims, this scene still doesn’t work for me. The only thing that would make this scene necessary to include is Anakin’s lightsaber being destroyed. If you can’t include that bit while removing Artoo and Threepio, then you should probably keep the scene out.

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Hal 9000 said:

https://vimeo.com/342042553
password: fanedit

I haven’t watched the original sequence in a long time, so I can’t tell exactly what you’ve changed. And from that point of view I would say that it doesn’t feel edited or out of place. The thing I dislike the most is Padmé looking up followed by the shot of the molten metal filling the container, making it look like she was killed. It feels like a cheap trick. Aside from that I don’t like the whole video game feel of Padmé on the conveyor belt dodging various things one after another. Perhaps the sequence could be shortened more.

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L8wrtr trims Padme a bit more than I have, but something about it feels a little quick to me. I’ll revisit this scene again soon and just give it a shot. And I don’t see it being possible to reinstate Anakin’s saber being destroyed without throwing R2 back in, too.
Sounds like going this route will be a compromise for sure, but at least it’s “hmm well that scene wasn’t very good” rather than that as well as “that fundamentally violates stuff that came before.”

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If you can’t include Anakin’s saber being destroyed, then you should probably keep the droid factory scene out. The movie is better without it.

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I do like this compromise route Hal. It does add back to the movie something that had a feeling of “something is missing.”

I like the direction you are going!

Understandable as others have mentioned, it may not be a “great” scene or section, but it doesn’t cause problems or any cringy moments to me.

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Keeping part of the droid factory is probably the right call here and most of it feels seamless, except for the bit with Anakin nonchalantly releasing Padme from the cask. I wonder if it wouldn’t be more effective to imply that it was the Geonosians who released her, since they immediately surround her anyway.

Other than that, great work!

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My next task will be to attempt a mock-up that features Anakin’s saber being destroyed and implies it must have been the Geonosians who release Padme’s jar. (I guess better to arrest, try offscreen, and execute than to let get smelted.)

I’m not sure how it’ll go, but I’ll give it my best shot.

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Hal 9000 said:

Interesting. What music do you have in mind for the factory? Or are you patching up what’s there?

The idea is to use John Williams’s partially unused cue for that sequence to patch up the bits that are tracked in from elsewhere (Yoda’s theme, the Coruscant chase):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAwXk_WcJKA

Hal 9000 said:

L8wrtr trims Padme a bit more than I have, but something about it feels a little quick to me. I’ll revisit this scene again soon and just give it a shot. And I don’t see it being possible to reinstate Anakin’s saber being destroyed without throwing R2 back in, too.
Sounds like going this route will be a compromise for sure, but at least it’s “hmm well that scene wasn’t very good” rather than that as well as “that fundamentally violates stuff that came before.”

I remember I found a way to have Anakin’s lightsaber destroyed without the droids. Wish I could be more specific but I haven’t worked on it in months. Maybe I’ll see if I can dig up what I have at some point.

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I had a thought about cutting the droid factory and using the Padme/Dooku scene:

What if Anakin and Padme enter into the darkened hallway (before the actual factory) and have a voice over of Dooku saying something like “Greetings, senator” (you’d have to find an appropriate line to insert). You could then cut or wipe to the Padme/Dooku scene. …Maybe?

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That could work. Christopher Lee voiced Dooku in the 2008 Clone Wars movie, so maybe something there? But I think that in order for that to work there would also had to have a plausible shot of Anakin and Padme reacting. Maybe turning around? Looking surprised?

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My thought was, that the line would be coming from the next scene. (example: TFA - The scavenger, resisted you?!) So you wouldn’t need a reaction shot of Anakin/Padme in the hallway.
So in theory, it would be:

  • Anakin & Padme are walking through the hallway
  • VO of Dooku: Greetings, senator. (or maybe "May I ask why a senator is all the way out here on Geonosis?)
  • Cut to next scene
  • Pamde: You’re holding a Jedi knight…

MyYouTubeChannel

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SomethingStarWarsRelated said:

My thought was, that the line would be coming from the next scene. (example: TFA - The scavenger, resisted you?!) So you wouldn’t need a reaction shot of Anakin/Padme in the hallway.
So in theory, it would be:

  • Anakin & Padme are walking through the hallway
  • VO of Dooku: Greetings, senator. (or maybe "May I ask why a senator is all the way out here on Geonosis?)
  • Cut to next scene
  • Pamde: You’re holding a Jedi knight…

So, a split edit/L-cut? I like this idea.

a trolling bantha

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I know I must be crazy, but I’m glad you’re adding it back in. I always thought the droid factory was a fun sequence as a kid. While 3PO’s puns are pretty awful, I think George did have a fair reason for feeling like some action was necessary there.