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Star Wars Episode II: The Approaching Storm (Finished!) — Page 18

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Octorox said:

Hal 9000 said:

I’m leaving away from the droid factory action sequence, partly because I’m hoping to cull a line from it for 3PO to replace his line as they leave Tatooine.

Fair enough, but I do want to point out that I don’t think l8wrtr’s edit of the Droid factory scene includes R2 and 3PO at all, so you’d likely be able to use the line elsewhere if you adhered to a similar edit. Ultimately it’s your edit and I think the way it plays now works, even if it does seem a bit odd that they sneak into a secret entrance only to immediately sit down at the negotiation table.

Hard to disagree too much with that. Let me sit on this for a bit, but I do like it and it makes good sense.

On second thought, the deleted Obi-Wan and Mace scene does add some connective tissue to the Kamino mystery that isn’t there without the “Yoda & the Younglings” scene, which I don’t think anyone wants back. Without the presence of either of those scenes, Obi-Wan goes straight from not finding Kamino in the library to arriving on the planet, with no mention of someone possibly deleting the files from the archive.

You could add the edited-down Dex scene anyway, right where it was the theatrical cut, but I don’t think it allows you to remove the deleted Obi-Wan and Mace scene like I had previously thought. At that point, it might be best just to leave things as they are, even though I kind of like the idea that Obi-Wan has weird alien friends/informants.

Hal borrowed audio from Attack of the Phantom to alter Zam Wesell’s dying words to “Kamino System.” This helps remove the Dex’s Diner sequence as Obi-Wan now has the information about where the dart and bounty hunter (Jango Fett) is from. The dart has no context now. I personally think The Approaching Storm is fine the way it is.

I do have to admit, if any scenes to bring back into a new version of this edit, it would be a trimmed version of the garage scene between Anakin and Padmé. Anakin still doesn’t have to admit to her that he killed the sandpeople.

Noah Lawson

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Octorox said:

So I know this will be an unpopular suggestion, but have you given any consideration to bringing back the Dex’s Diner scene with trims similar to what Cathy Fulcher-Baker did for her edit? clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtBAiWYWR6w&t=10m26s

The reason I ask is that I think this would allow you to include the scene from the theatrical cut where Mace, Yoda and Obi-Wan discuss Anakin, rather than the alternate “deleted scene” version with only Mace and Obi-Wan as you do now. While it may be slightly stronger dramatically, I think the visual effects in that deleted scene stand out as particularly unpolished. Additionally, Mace’s line that Obi-Wan “must have faith” in Anakin seems dissonant with his character in Revenge of the Sith, who clearly doesn’t trust him.

The Dex Diner scene is unnecessary. Why would a diner owner be able to identify the origin of toxic darts?

The visual effects in the Obi-wan and Mace scene are at least as strong as the hallway scene.

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What I’m thinking right now is that I will revert the bounty hunter’s dying words to the original and reinstate an abbreviated Dex’s Diner scene, but otherwise leave that section of the film structured as it has been in TAS. This solves a minor curiosity about How Obi-Wan knows where the planet is, and adds a little of the original film’s whimsy without going quite as far over the top. I still see virtue in using the landing platform deleted scene due to the tidbit about a Jedi potentially deleting the system from the archives. (The Yoda scene makes Obi-Wan look stupid, and the kids are unbearable.)

I am also planning not to reinstate the droid factory action sequence, but will consider whether to structure those scenes the was TAS has been, or reorder them.

TAS: Dooku interrogates Obi-Wan > Anakin and Padme land on Geonosis, enter the door > Dooku interrogates Padme > Palpatine granted emergency powers > Anakin and Padme prepped for execution.

Potential: Dooku interrogates Obi-Wan > Palpatine granted emergency powers > Anakin and Padme land on Geonosis, enter the door > > Dooku interrogates Padme > Anakin and Padme prepped for execution.

PM me for links to my edits; apparently, some feel shy about this.

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Hal 9000 said:

What I’m thinking right now is that I will revert the bounty hunter’s dying words to the original and reinstate an abbreviated Dex’s Diner scene, but otherwise leave that section of the film structured as it has been in TAS. This solves a minor curiosity about How Obi-Wan knows where the planet is, and adds a little of the original film’s whimsy without going quite as far over the top. I still see virtue in using the landing platform deleted scene due to the tidbit about a Jedi potentially deleting the system from the archives. (The Yoda scene makes Obi-Wan look stupid, and the kids are unbearable.)

I am also planning not to reinstate the droid factory action sequence, but will consider whether to structure those scenes the was TAS has been, or reorder them.

TAS: Dooku interrogates Obi-Wan > Anakin and Padme land on Geonosis, enter the door > Dooku interrogates Padme > Palpatine granted emergency powers > Anakin and Padme prepped for execution.

Potential: Dooku interrogates Obi-Wan > Palpatine granted emergency powers > Anakin and Padme land on Geonosis, enter the door > > Dooku interrogates Padme > Anakin and Padme prepped for execution.

How do you feel about reinstating the garage scene between Anakin and Padmé? That is a scene that has the potential to be emotionally powerful for both characters. You could trim the scene down to make it believable for her reasons to stay and support him, while removing Anakin revealing that he killed the Sandpeople. I intend to do these things for my edit of Episode II.

Noah Lawson

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 (Edited)

I won’t be doing that. I’m somewhat restricted at the moment but I’ve written about it elsewhere. In short: it doesn’t compute that such a thing would endear Anakin to Padme, and it is against her character. In Ep3, she again learns he slaughtered children and suddenly she is horrified. Well, she didn’t care at all in the last movie!
The scene is awful through and through IMHO. Anakin is on display as an unambiguous, violent lunatic.
“I WILL EVEN LEARN TO STOP PEOPLE FROM DYING”

PM me for links to my edits; apparently, some feel shy about this.

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Hal 9000 said:

I won’t be doing that. I’m somewhat restricted at the moment but I’ve written about it elsewhere. In short: it doesn’t compute that such a thing would endear Anakin to Padme, and it is against her character. In Ep3, she again learns he slaughtered children and suddenly she is horrified. Well, she didn’t care at all in the last movie!
The scene is awful through and through IMHO. Anakin is on display as an unambiguous, violent lunatic.
“I WILL EVEN LEARN TO STOP PEOPLE FROM DYING”

That is true, but removing Anakin telling her that he killed the Tuskin Raiders, keeping it as a dark secret to himself can work for Padmé’s character and not make her come across as a hypocrite in Episode III.

Noah Lawson

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So, Anakin throws an absolute fit about his mother dying and that’s it?

PM me for links to my edits; apparently, some feel shy about this.

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Hal 9000 said:

So, Anakin throws an absolute fit about his mother dying and that’s it?

Essentially. Your intentions of removing the scene are quite legit, but I personally feel that re-cutting the scene to make Padmé suspect that something may have happened to him while he was away, while also foreshadowing Anakin’s eventual fall to the Dark Side. Despite that, she still wants to help Anakin over the pain he has endured. That’s just how I would personally re-shape the garage scene.

There’s nothing wrong with removing a scene that doesn’t work, it’s your edit. I just think the scene would work better in that format to come off as believable.

In reality, this is how the scene in Attack of the Clones would’ve played out.

https://youtu.be/0cxjlN9e9-c?t=193

Noah Lawson

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 (Edited)

I’m glad you’re re-instating a shortened Diner scene. If nothing else, I do like how it adds a bit of characterization to Obi-Wan, portraying him as someone with relationships and connections outside the Jedi Temple. In A New Hope, Obi-Wan seems to know his way around Mos Eisley cantina, and has no trouble finding the right person to take the crew to Aldeeran. The Diner scene shows a little bit of that side of Obi-Wan, whereas much of the prequels portray him as stuffy and bookish.

As for the garage scene, I think l8wrtr’s edit shows that it can be salvaged, but I honestly prefer Hal’s decision to excise the scene entirely. It’s better that Anakin carries that tension inwardly and shares it only with Palpatine. I think it would be very difficult to cut the scene in the way you’re suggesting, but I’d of course love to see any attempts you might make.

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 (Edited)

One of the pros of adding back in the scene with Anakin and Padmé after he kills the Tusken raiders is where he sets up the whole “I will learn to stop people from dying” thing, but this is a lot less necessary if you’re mostly cutting that out of ROTS.

In my edit I found a way to cut out him talking about his slaughter, and I think it works pretty well. But saving Padmé is a big part of my ROTS.

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His comment about stopping people from dying seems incredibly childish and delusional. Padme ought to have politely comforted him until the end of their mission and never spoken to him again.

PM me for links to my edits; apparently, some feel shy about this.

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Hal 9000 said:

His comment about stopping people from dying seems incredibly childish and delusional. Padme ought to have politely comforted him until the end of their mission and never spoken to him again.

I mean, this is a fantasy movie where people have magical powers. Him saying that isn’t exactly as delusional as someone in our world saying that, especially considering the events of ROTS take that notion very seriously.

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The reaction shot of Padme I am picturing may not follow immediately after that line from Anakin, but I seem to picture her with a shocked look on her face, saying “Anakin,” the way I would say someone’s name after they just blurted out something terribly racist in front of a crowd.

PM me for links to my edits; apparently, some feel shy about this.

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 (Edited)

For me the best approach to this is:
-Anakin finds his mother already dead and then kills everyone.
-Use a few takes from the garage scene with no dialog, or just a few lines about Anakin being too late / not being able to save his mother.

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Why not keep the whole garage scene, with the exception of Anakin saying that he killed the women and children?
This way you set up the plot for ROTS, keep Anakins conflict and regret about the slaughter and Padme doesn’t appear to be a hypocrite, because there is obviously a big difference between killing innocent children and the murderer of your mother.

“You want to sell me Death sticks” -Obi-Vod Kanobi

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 (Edited)

Regarding the droid factory scene…I haven’t watched the original version in awhile, so I can’t remember…but is there really no way to trim out the silly antics while still showing Anakin and Padme getting apprehended? I recall one if your goals was to make the cut feel like it could be an official movie cut, but there’s no way an official cut would have such an abrupt transition. It’s the one time that it really jumps out that this is a fan edit.

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Peter Pan said:

Why not keep the whole garage scene, with the exception of Anakin saying that he killed the women and children?
This way you set up the plot for ROTS, keep Anakins conflict and regret about the slaughter and Padme doesn’t appear to be a hypocrite, because there is obviously a big difference between killing innocent children and the murderer of your mother.

He kills children in both instances. Neither are more or less innocent than the other, and Padme does not care in AOTC. There’s no way I’m reinstating that scene.

About the droid factory scene… I really am of two minds. I will have to mock it up and see how it plays and make an honest call about it.

PM me for links to my edits; apparently, some feel shy about this.

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How about replacing Padme in that scene with a hologram of the Chancellor?

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Yep. And how about also replacing Padmé with Palpatine during the secret wedding scene ?

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Hal 9000 said:

Peter Pan said:

Why not keep the whole garage scene, with the exception of Anakin saying that he killed the women and children?
This way you set up the plot for ROTS, keep Anakins conflict and regret about the slaughter and Padme doesn’t appear to be a hypocrite, because there is obviously a big difference between killing innocent children and the murderer of your mother.

He kills children in both instances. Neither are more or less innocent than the other, and Padme does not care in AOTC. There’s no way I’m reinstating that scene.

But if you remove his line “and not just the men, but the women and children too”, no one would know if he killed them nor if there were any women and children in this camp.

“You want to sell me Death sticks” -Obi-Vod Kanobi

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Keep that garage scene out. Simple. 😉

As for the droid factory scene mentioned again, just watched it on youtube and I don’t see a way to even trim it to “make it work” it a believable and seamless way. Even if you took out all the 3PO moments, you have some brief shots of R2 at the door by himself that shows no path way or bridge from it … then he somehow gets to the controls later?

It’s too much of a mess. I do know what you mean about the transition with the inserted deleted scene with the “negotiation” scene. Not a strong scene, but it’s the only option.

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jarbear said:

Keep that garage scene out. Simple. 😉

Thats always an option 😉 My problem is, I like it.

“You want to sell me Death sticks” -Obi-Vod Kanobi

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Haha, you must hate sand too. I hear it gets everywhere.

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jarbear said:

As for the droid factory scene mentioned again, just watched it on youtube and I don’t see a way to even trim it to “make it work” it a believable and seamless way. Even if you took out all the 3PO moments, you have some brief shots of R2 at the door by himself that shows no path way or bridge from it … then he somehow gets to the controls later?

It’s too much of a mess. I do know what you mean about the transition with the inserted deleted scene with the “negotiation” scene. Not a strong scene, but it’s the only option.

I tackled the factory scene, by cutting 3PO out. He and R2 are discussing wether they should follow Anakin and Padme or stay on the ship, R2 is leaving, 3PO follows him to the outside trying to convince him to stay, but eventually says that he won’t follow him (I used audio from ANH). The next time we see R2 the door to the factory is already open and he boost his trusters to fly away and save Padme.

By the way, is it just me or symbolize 3PO and R2 Anakin and Padme in a way. R2 originally belonging to the queen and 3PO being built by Anakin, as well as 3PO being gifted with the “force” to speak, but mostly unable to connect with humans on a emotional level, opposed to R2, who is caring and dutiful.

P.S.: Sorry for the Off-Topic and picking your reply apart, jarbear.

“You want to sell me Death sticks” -Obi-Vod Kanobi

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 (Edited)

I am redownloading L8wrtr’s edit, because if I remember correctly he has the droids remain on the ship and Anakin save Padme by using the force. (He uses a shot originally depicting Anakin pulling something off racks to knock two Geonosians off a platform or something.) I don’t remember how well it worked, but I hope to take a look soon.
I appreciate the honesty; while I believe Lucas could have made it work just fine to have the Dooku scene rather than the action setpiece, being able to cobble something totally convincing through fan editing is not a guarantee. Let me see what L8wrtr came up with, and field it. I would, however, be willing to go against having it be completely convincing if it means keeping the nonsense with the droids away.

PM me for links to my edits; apparently, some feel shy about this.