Thank you, Kestrel, for the link. I have watched it and I haz thoughts (lots of them!)… along with my nephew’s.
OK, my nephew watched Star Wars a lot when younger, but not as much lately. He watched The Clone Wars, and half of Rebels, and up to S2 of The Mandolarian. He has not watched Ahsoka. These are his thoughts of your edit:
-
It didn’t play like a fanedit to him.
-
There are only three edits that weren’t seamless.
– After Sabine was stabbed, the quick, boom of the white to the hospital room was too quick, too much. He would have preferred a softer, slow white fade-in. Less jarring.
– When Sabine was figuring out the map, there was one quick, jumpy glitch.
– During the fight (when you cut out the group of fighters), Shin just came up behind Ezra and it didn’t make sense to my nephew. He was like, ‘why doesn’t she just walk up to them?’ Obviously, this is because you so expertly edited out the other guys fighting/attacking them.
-
He said that it didn’t feel even remotely like a bunch of episodes strung together. He couldn’t tell where one episode ended and the other began. Each moment blended into each other nicely.
-
But for one thing, he didn’t find himself asking any questions, like huh? That one thing was when the Republic fighters/Hera showed up after Hera told them the Senate said no. That didn’t make sense and had him scratching his head.
-
Also, Jacen kinda showed up did have him wondering a little bit, but there was an explanation later. He would have preferred to know who he was beforehand, but it was OK.
-
A lot of what made Ezra such a great character was missing. (I showed him all of his scenes afterward and he did feel that the lightsaber making scene should have been included definitely, and the first scene in its entirety probably as well. He also said after watching the longer storming the castle scene that your editing was superb because he would have never guessed that there was any editing done in that scene.)
-
He was very happy that the WBW stuff was included as a CW fan.
-
Overall, he really liked it. It was solid.
(I should point out my nephew is a film student in college.)
OK, now my thoughts: (This will be longer, LOL!)
First of all! Wow, this is overall amazing. I think you did a fantastic job (except in one area). This was seamlessly done, except really for the one jump/glitch. There was nothing else where I thought the editing was off. It just did not look/sound/feel like a fanedit film. You really did a stellar job. Kudos, kudos, kudos. Now, details (the good with the critique, I promise!)
-
I’m still gonna harp on that Sabine intro, LOL! I just say cut the whole Sabine on the speeder period because you show her on a speeder in about 10 minutes or so and the way it’s shot, it’s the EXACT same angle, everything. Unless you want to show it as a chase, and her being let off by the governor’s guys. If not, it’s so same-y. Go from Clancy Brown-dude turning to look “Where is she?” to her door opening of her house and she steps in. Boom, there you go.
-
So, I’m pretty sure it was this way in the show, but since you cut most of the speeder scene chase when she goes into her place and listens to the Ezra message it’s a long enough scene, so the wipe going into her little sleep, wake up, and then “Ezra!” is fine. However, as you have it now, it’s teeny speeder, walk in home, short Ezra message, wipe, wake up, “Ezra!” So it’s like a minute (if that scene) wipe, 30 second scene. And it’s just why the wipe? So, I’d cut the wipe there.
-
As mentioned when she’s figuring out the map, there’s a jump/glitch about 25:21-23.
-
I didn’t have a problem with the white!boom to the hospital, but I do see what my nephew meant, a softer fade-in there would probably work better.
-
I just have to point out that you acheived what I thought was practically impossible! You made Ahsoka going out on the ship and fighting in space work for me. It was cool, and didn’t leave me going but why didn’t they? why didn’t she? this is so stupid? That was fantastically done! YAY!!!
-
We really need that scene with Hera deciding to go help Ahsoka & co. herself and Carson and others joining her because Morgan being like ‘oh, Republic fighters are coming’ is a big huh? Because the last we heard was ‘Hera said the Senate said nope’ and we as the viewer are like, ‘welp! our heroes are on their own!’ but all of a sudden the Republic fighters are coming and then we see Morgan & co go through the ring and some Republic fighters get kilt. Then a few scenes later, Hera lands, her comrades land and we’re all like… wait, what? And they’re talking about: ‘They gonna get big mad!’ Hera’s all, ‘I’ll cover for you!’ And my nephew’s like, ‘wait, what?! What did I miss?!?’
And that was the one part here where this fanedit screamed fanedit. So, yeah, we need that scene.
-
Sorry, I disagree with my nephew. I think that Jacen needs an intro. I don’t quite recall, but isn’t there something of him and Hera in the Ghost that would be a nice little scene that would to give us a little ‘hey, this is who this kid is!’ before he randomly shows up.
-
I loved how you intercut Ahsoka, “I have another idea,” she uses the Force to call Sabine, we cut into the Ezra/Sabine convo, back to Ahsoka, back to Ezra/Sabine, back to Thrawn & Co, she’s been found, back to Ezra/Sabine, back to Ahsoka, boom! She’s attacked. That was awesome! awesome! awesome! I’d only suggest BEGIN that section on the Ezra/Sabine convo so we get the whole thing and then cut to Ahsoka/Huwang and continue, so, ahem, we get more Ezra. I have a bit more about Ezra later on.
-
Now, if a scene does need to be cut, I think the Baylan & Shin scene where he’s saying that this place is the land of dreams and madness, of folk stories, and she’s all stories are just stories. And he says it’s all just a cycle that repeats and he’s going to end it could be cut. I mean, nice sentiment. We all love Ray Stevenson (RIP), but it could be cut.
-
Alright before I get to the next bit, I want to reiterate again how fantastic this is. I mean, truly. You made Sabine more likable. Truly got across the meat of the story. Ahsoka was great. You cut the fat. We got who Ahsoka, Sabine, Thrawn, Morgan, even Hera was beautifully. And there was a clear throughline of this story. And other than the one Hera/Republic Rebels scene that I feel is truly needed, this did not feel like a fanedit.
-
I just have one true issue. It’s a biggie though. I feel like you shortchanged my boy, Ezra. Ezra, I think, is the heart of this show. While Ahsoka is trying to get to Thrawn, Hera cares about getting to Ezra truly in her heart. Sabine cares about getting Ezra back. When it comes to making that choice, Sabine chooses Ezra. Ezra stands for peace and family. Thrawn for war and violence. Ahsoka learns the lesson, the choice to live for peace, for family in TWBW and so she realizes, she understands that Sabine made the right choice. Ezra is the heart of the show. You cut a lot of Ezra’s scenes.
-
His first scene where we meet him? Not even 30 seconds. The actual scene is nearly two and half minutes, and it ends with Ezra saying he’s gonna go home. His last line, THE last line of the season (in the mid-credits scene)? “I’m home.” I understand why you cut the bandits fight with Sabine, but part of that scene (trimmed as much as possible) needed to be kept with Baylan & Shin if only because it’s during that fight with them that Ezra explains why he doesn’t want a lightsaber or gun, but how he uses the force. You also cut off his “Or you could take us as prisoners?” after “Can we talk?” which is a VERY Ezra thing to do, a stalling tactic, looking for anything, any advantage to stay alive longer.
-
And, oh boy, that making the lightsaber scene! First of all, when he ran out with the lightsaber, I was like wait what? So there was that. But then, yeah, the making the lightsaber scene, so much great characterization of WHO Ezra is, the quick-moving, quick-talking, quick-thinking, and then sweet soft heart of him coming to the fore when Kanan is mentioned and THEN we got some great characterization and backstory on Sabine and Ahsoka on why they are who they are. Ah, that scene was utter gold!
-
Finally, that final scene (pre-mid-credits) on the ship where he knocked out the guard… but wait, back up: I loved how you mildly tweaked the jump/push onto the ship where he did just immediately grab onto the ship and pulled that stormtrooper over. That worked so much better than how it did on the show. OK, back to that final scene on the ship. I think it’s important to keep that for two reasons:
– It shows Ezra’s intelligence and quick-thinking. Even though he’s been out of the game for so long, he is able to jump right back into the swing of things.
– In the end you showed where all the major players were: Ahsoka, Sabine, Huwang, Thrawn, Shin, Baylan, and not Ezra. Seriously, what you got against my boy, Ezra?
So, again, overall, you did an absolutely fantastic job. Just needs more Ezra! Really, though just marvelous, Kestrel, marvelous! I just can’t say enough about the tightness of the editing and music. It’s just so expertly done.
