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Star Wars: A Galaxy Betrayed – A 3-in-1 edit of the prequels - Released — Page 2

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Thanks so much for the invite. Great Xmas present!

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 (Edited)

i would also really love an invite to see this version, looks/sounds exactly like what i’m looking for 😃

i’m actually getting my son (10) into star wars now and he has seen the semi-specialised versions but never the “prequels”, this might be the best way to change that 😃

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I’d also love to get a Myspleen invite if possible. I went to watch it on YouTube again today, and its gone, as I’m sure you are probably aware… UMG took it down this time.

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swagbeditor said:

It’s back up (for now)!

This is a dream come true for me swagbeditor. Would love to check out your edit if you can spare an invite.

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How do I get a copy of this exactly?

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swagbeditor said:

A higher-quality version of the edit is now available on MySpleen! Check it out!

Can you send me a invitation to MySpleen for download the higher-quality version of your edit?

Many thanks.

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nathanVader said:

swagbeditor said:

A higher-quality version of the edit is now available on MySpleen! Check it out!

Can you send me a invitation to MySpleen for download the higher-quality version of your edit?

Many thanks.

Unfortunately myspleen themselves have disabled / stopped new issuing invites.

For more info please read this:-

http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Post-in-this-thread-to-request-an-invite-to-MySpleenorg-you-MUST-read-the-first-post-UPDATE-1017-There-are-NO-MySpleen-invites-being-given-out-at-this-time/id/8592

It may well be worth sending swagbeditor a PM to see if he has made this available elsewhere too.

Good luck with it 😃

“Why don’t you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don’t you dig how beautiful it is out here?”

“Why don’t you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?” - Oddball, of The Awkward Squad

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Hi, love the edit was hoping to get a download link?

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SparkySywer said:

It can be found posted to an unspecified person’s spleen.

Is spleen still not giving out invites right now? I do not have an account on it yet.

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 (Edited)

Just saw part of your fan edit on youtube and I’m loving it so far. Would you happen to have anymore my spleen invites? I’d love to see the higher quality version.

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 (Edited)

swagbeditor said:

It’s back up (for now)!

+SWAGB

Where can I get your original version and not this one from YouTube?! Or can anybody else help me out?! Thank You! Happy New Year Everyone!

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I have this edit downloaded, if you’re looking for it AND own the sources, but can’t get on a certain spleen, feel free to PM me. I will NOT post the link here, I will only respond to PM’s.

Happy New Year!

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SUP3RDeathStar said:

I have this edit downloaded, if you’re looking for it AND own the sources, but can’t get on a certain spleen, feel free to PM me. I will NOT post the link here, I will only respond to PM’s.

Happy New Year!

THANK YOU!

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swagbeditor said:

Sure, invite sent!

May I have an invite as well? I’ve seen your edit on YouTube it’s brilliant, you made Anakin watchable 😃 And the prequels much more coherent, for my second watch this week I’m just curious to watch it with the opening audio fixed and with your updates. Love your work thank you in advance!

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 (Edited)

Finally got some time to watch this, having already checked out the Neon Noir edit, and Ep I of the Anti-Cheese edits. Overall thoughts; you can’t polish a turd. There are just so many things wrong with the theatrical releases that unlike A New Hope, the prequels can’t really be saved in the edit (https://www.invidio.us/watch?v=GFMyMxMYDNk). At least, not by an editor who didn’t have access to all the footage that hit the cutting room floor, and the original actors to add new dialogue. That said, you’ve made some bold choices, turning about 9 hours of epic fail into about two hours of reasonably enjoyable movie. Stirling effort.

Here’s some things I’d suggest if you ever revisit this:

  • the Anti-Cheese edits replace the Trade Federation frog guys irritating accents with alien language and subtitles, which makes their characters much less campy and more sinister (that editor did the same to Jar Jar and it improves him more than you’d expect, but still not enough). Would you consider doing the same (with the TF guys that is, Jar Jar is just fine as background noise)?

  • the Maul/ Qui Con, Obiwan fight did need heavy pruning, but you might have cut too much. The major failing of the prequel fights is that they’re all stunts and no character development, unlike the original trilogy (and The Matrix), where fights are used to add tension and visual flair to dialogue that deepens our understanding of characters’ attributes, attitudes, and motives (“I’m your father!”, “your weakness … is not your technique.”). Qui Gon getting stuck behind the force field and stopping to meditate, while Maul paces, was one of the better parts of that sequence, and gets to the heart of both characters better than any other part of Ep I. I would put that bit back in.

  • I don’t know that you need the “10 years later” titles. You could use the Annakin/ Obiwan elevator scene as a transition, as it has that piece of dialogue “I haven’t seen her in 10 years, master”, which also sets up Amidala’s arrival and the explosion on the landing bay. I would cut the corny “nest of gundarks” dialogue, and start that scene with Obiwan saying “you’re sweating, relax”. You could cut straight to “it’s a great pleasure to see you again my lady” from “I will have Master Obiwan report to you immediately”, the elevator scene just slows the pace there anyway.

  • The droid dialogue you dubbed in is great, but I would end it at “no contact with Geonosis for decades Master Kenobi”. I know we’re all used to C3PO having emotions (why? WHY?!?), but having the droid say “please be careful” is too emotive for a human technician, let alone a droid one.

  • “Shmi is my wife” this is pretty obvious from the context. Like the Cliegg mourning monologue you cut, that line is stating the obvious and detracts from the tension of that scene.

  • Watto makes no sense. Why would any sentient being waste energy flapping tiny wings just to hover in the air? Especially one whose character has been established as a miser. Also, his accent is irritating and his dialogue is corny. Is it possible to completely remove him? You’ve cut out all the Ep 1 storyline where Shmi was set up as his slave. So you could just have Annakin arrive at the Lars residence, his mother has remarried while he’s been with the Jedi, and he’s using the force to track her or whatever. Or, Watto could be an old acquaintance, and his English language dialogue could be dubbed with alien language, with subtitles saying something like “Schmi Skywalker? She married a Cliegg Lars, she’s living at his moisture farm on the other side of Mos Eisley”, and the scene concluded before he starts flying for no reason.

  • I agree with no Yoda light saber fights, but did we have to completely lose the Dooku/ Annakin/ Obiwan fight? Is there no way to have Yoda do force powers but no light saber fighting? Without any of this fight, we don’t see Annakin lose his hand, which is important foreshadowing of his later transformation into cyborg Vader, as well as setting up part of his motivation for killing Dooku.

  • R2 jumping out of Annakin’s ship breaks continuity, like all other instances of R2 jumping or flying, which you’ve removed (good job). R2 units have to be lifted into and out of ships all through the original trilogy. Is it possible to cut that shot and just have it seem like R2 has winched himself out of the ship some other way while the Jedi were fighting?

  • Dooku jumping down, when it would be more in character for him to have walked down the stairs with dignity, looks better without the silly somersault, but why not cut it completely and skip straight to “your swords please”?

  • “you won’t get away this time Dooku” might be the silliest, most clichéd line they had Owen McGregor say in all three movies. Can you cut it, and skip straight to him lighting up his lightsaber, not dignifying Dooky’s patronizing statement with a response?

  • “Do it!” I miss that line. I think it’s important that we see Palpy giving Annakin little shoves towards the dark side at critical moments of vulnerability and indecision.

  • Dooku dropping a huge hunk of bridge on Obiwan would kill anyone, even an unconscious Jedi. I would cut that, and the bits where we see that it actually didn’t land on Obiwan even though it totally looked like it did. I’d cut from Annakin running in Obiwan’s direction to Palpy saying “Annakin, there’s no time”, then cut to the shot of the outside of the ship, with Palpy saying “we must get off the ship before it’s too late” and fade in the music and battle sounds (we don’t need to see or hear Annakin saying “he seems to be alright”, that will become obvious pretty quickly). I would also leave out that tiny shot of Annakin carrying Obiwan. That way when they all get up, it looks like they’re still in the same room (from a different angle), Annakin and Palpy have been knocked over by the spaceship battle, and Obiwan has recovered (he was only stunned from being thrown across the room).

  • if you’re not going to have the crash-landing, there’s no point leaving in all the set-up for it. The question is, where do you go after Grievous launches the escape pods? One option is to grab that later scene with Amidala, Mon Mothma and the other senators discussing the founding of the Rebel Alliance (was that a deleted scene, I don’t remember MM being in the original), and insert it before Annakin, Obiwan, and Palpy fly into the spaceport. That would fit nicely with the darker side of Palpy we’ve just seen him show Annakin, make his safe return seem more unsettling, and cast a sinister light on Amidala telling Anny she’s pregnant, and Palpy telling him he’s placing him on the Jedi Council. Finally, it means cutting from Anny seeing Obiwan off to go after Grievous, to Amidala asking Anny to talk to Palpy on her behalf (isn’t that what happened in the cinema release anyway?).

  • “something wonderful has happened” is a terrible line. However happy Amidala is about having Anny’s baby, she’s clearly nervous about becoming pregnant during a civil war, and it just doesn’t ring true. Can you cut it?

  • the Palpy announcing Anny’s job on the Jedi Council scene might work better if it runs straight into the Windu telling him he doesn’t get the rank of master scene, then to the Yoda, Windu, and Obiwan discussing Palpy scene, then to the Annakin complaining about not getting the rank of Master scene. Two fast, short, thematically connected scenes, followed by two longer, slower, less connected scenes, feels like it might make for better pacing.

  • that whole scene with Obiwan, Windy, and Yoda talking about Annakin not liking his assignment, dangerous putting them together (don’t they already hang out?) etc etc adds nothing, and could be completely removed, cutting straight from “the Council is asking you to do this” to Anny arriving at the opera.

  • “we’ll be able to capture that monster and end this war” is a corny line. I would just have Anny say “at last”, and cut back to Palpy’s next line.

  • “hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo, so long ago when there was nothing but our love” please god no. Why not just end this scene after “don’t shut me out”? Leave Anny and Amidala in conflict and let some tension build in their relationship. Or, maybe cut out the lines between “hold me” and “no politics, no plotting, no war”. Is there are shot (a close-up of Anny or something?) you could cut to as a transition? Close-ups of R2 and C3PO were often used for this sort of thing in the original trilogy.

  • if you insist on keeping the lizard riding, can you fix the ridiculous noise it makes? It takes me out of the scene every time.

  • is there a way to excise the other Jedi masters from the Palpy / Windu fight scene? It’s pathetic how quickly they all die. If Lucas didn’t want a group fight, why did he have Windu bring back-up, instead of under-estimating Palpy and going by himself? Why didn’t Windu ask him to step down voluntarily before lighting up his light saber and trying to place him under arrest? Why didn’t Palpy just blast Windu with force lightening as soon as he found himself in a corner? Why didn’t Anny just block Windy’s saber, distracting him long enough to allow Palpy to strike, instead of cutting his arm off? Why was there never a conversation where Windy asks Anny why he killed Dooku, and Anny repeats what Palpy said about him being “too dangerous to be left alive”, building Windy’s suspicions about Palpy, and making his repetition of the line in reference to Palpy less of a weird echo? The marshmallow face, OMG, the marshmallow face. There are so many problems with this critical scene, it’s a classic example of what I mean by saying you can’t polish a turd.

  • “unnnnnnlimited pppppppppower!” and “guuuuurdddd” is there any way to get rid of these awful lines?

  • would it be possible to cut Palpy naming Anny “Daaarth … Vaaaadeeeer”, and insert it later, either when Palpy rescues him from the lava, or when he gets put into his cyborg suit?

  • “have faith my love, everything will be set right” yuck. Can you cut that line?

  • can you cut the pointless conversation with Captain Typo, which seems like it was added in the edit to explain why he isn’t with her, which doesn’t need explaining in your version, since we haven’t seen Typo with her for ages.

  • can you cut Obiwan’s hands-on-hips posing in the spaceship door? It looks naff. Maybe put the shot of him coming down the stairs in there?

  • Annakin force-choking Amidala is one of the most unpolishable turds in the whole movie. It would have made way more sense for him to attack Obiwan and for her to get caught in the crossfire somehow. There’s no obvious way to fix it, but you can’t cut it without leaving her lying on the ground for no reason. What about cutting from “liar!” to a quick Obiwan reaction shot, to “you turned her against me”, and then from “your anger and your lust for power have already done that” to “I have brought peace and security to my new empire”, staying with Obiwan’s pause after “already done that” while Annakin is saying “I have brought peace”, then cutting to the shot with Annakin in the foreground and Obiwan behind, as he delivers the rest of the line. There’s one more shot with Amidala on the ground that would need to be dealt with somehow, then she’s gone for the rest of the battle. Could “you will not take her from me” and the force choke go in just before that? Maybe now that Annakin is more enraged, it could make more sense? Especially if you could cut it so that it seems more like he’s grabbing her possessively, rather than just choking her out on purpose like a superhuman wife beater.

  • I seriously love the way you’ve cut the final fight. The original version crosses the line into parody, whereas your version holds the dramatic tension, and shows them as Jedi, not ridiculous gods out of Thor: Ragnarok. The only things I’d change is Obiwan saying “I loved you”, why not leave it at “you were my brother Annakin”? Also, a rearrangement of these lines, so they make more sense:
    Annakin: I should have known the Jedi were plotting to take over
    Obiwan: (sadly) I have failed you Annakin
    Annakin: cynical smirk (maybe the one that’s currently after “then you are lost”)
    Obiwan: Annakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil!
    Annakin: The Jedi are evil!
    Obiwan: well then you are lost!
    Then cut straight to Annakin flipping onto the platform Obiwan is on.

  • can you cut the bit where Amidala says Leia’s and Luke’s names? If we’re watching the prequels in release order (or Machete Order), we know this and we don’t need it rubbed in our faces. If you’re watching in Ep order, it’s a major spoiler. Same with the final scenes with the Organa and Lars families with the babies. In fact, I’d cut the birth scene entirely (the robot making boo boo noises is so cringy) and leave the fates of Amidala and her babies hanging in the balance. I’d end on the helmet descending on Vader’s face, and that first asthmatic breath, maybe with Palpy saying “from nooow onnn you will be knooownnn as Daaaarth Vaaaadeeeer” somewhere in there.

There were a couple of other thoughts I had, but taking them on would result in major changes to the plot arc you’ve created. One thought was, is the Zam assassination sequence even necessary? Zam’s only purpose in Ep 2 is to set up the clones and Jango Fett arcs, which you’ve sensibly dispensed with, and the whole ‘flying car chase through the city’ sequence doesn’t really fit the Star Wars aesthetic, it’s too reminiscent of Blade Runner (or worse The Fifth Element or Jupiter Ascending), as the Neon Noir edit makes clear. You could skip all this and insert the Jedi Council scene after “I will have Master Obiwan report to you immediately”, beginning with Windy saying “escort the Senator back to her home planet of Naboo”.

The other thought was, I can see why you did it, but I’m not sure completely removing Tatooine from Ep 1 was the right move, especially because Amidala says “the little boy I knew on Tatooine”, when we never saw them together on Tatooine. If you removed the Zam subplot, that would make some room to stitch in some Ep 1 Tatooine stuff somehow without increasing the running time, to establish that Annakin and Amidala’s relationship begins there, as well as Annakin and Obiwan’s, and to establish Qui Con’s character a bit so we care more about him getting killed (the meditation behind the force field, as mentioned earlier, would contribute to that).

In conclusion, this is definitely the best prequels fan edit I’ve watched so far. You’ve done an amazing job, and thanks for letting me download and enjoy the full version, rather than having to watch the slightly broken YT version.

EDIT: amended intro text to clarify what I meant by A New Hope being “saved”, along with a link to the video telling that story, which I think is well worth a watch if you haven’t seen it already.

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I agree with botias on every point and would like to add a couple of other points
1 the jedi should do no more than a backflip or anything in their fights it just doesn’t jive with the OT loke when obiwan jumps to the upper platform in the maul fight.
2 It is my dream that The clones should never be called clones. The clones should be the droid army, it could be set up in the crawl or in subtitles of the nemodians after that it fits with the "we don’t serve their kind in ep iv

Dooku and greivous are both terrible characters. You kinda have to have dooku I guess, but I could do without grevious entirely.

This is still the best pt fanedit I have seen, but it could be improved upon.

My fan edit ideas
http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Return-of-the-Sith-Revenge-of-the-Jedi-by-marduk666/id/17356

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[marduk666

Dooku and greivous are both terrible characters. You kinda have to have dooku I guess, but I could do without grevious entirely.

One of my earliest fanedits is RotS with no Grevious. He is referred to but never seen.

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I agree with Marduk on points 1 and 2.

“Dooku and greivous are both terrible characters.”

I agree with this too, sort of. The problem I have with these characters (and Maul) is that there are just too many major villains in the prequels, so none of them get enough screen time to come across as anything but cartoony. Compare this to the original trilogy, where we have only three major villains (Vader, The Emperor, and Jabba), all of whom get enough character development for us to know who they are and some bad things they’ve done to our heroes, and feel some catharsis when they die. All the other villains are relatively minor characters, who exist to give the major villains someone to deliver exposition to, and take the fall when the villains’ plans fail.

If only a script editor had convinced Lucas to leave one of the major villains out of the prequel films, that would have left more narrative room to develop the other two. For example, the cyborg character that was Grievous in the prequels makes sense in the Clone Wars, but his cartoonishness is discordant in live-action films. Imagine if the character referred to as “General Grievous” (or some other pseudonym) had been revealed to be the cyborg Maul that turns up in the Clone Wars series. This would have given Obiwan a much more powerful motive for killing him (revenge for the death of Qui Gon) when he realizes who the infamous “General Grievous” really is, as well as nicely foreshadowing the Sidious tactic of using droid tech to keep his apprentices alive. It would have given “Grievous” a back story, which he really doesn’t have in Ep 3, he just turns up, chews some scenery, and gets killed in a ridiculously overdone battle (for a live-action film, would have been a great sequence in Clone Wars!). Compare this to how Boba Fett dies, a character we actually know and have significant reason to hate on when he gets taken out.

All of this is just another example of “you can’t polish a turd”, and so is the way Lucas’ script under-utilizes Dooku. I actually like Dooku as a character, and when you trim out the silly acrobatics, and some of the cornier dialogue, Lee’s performance adds some much-needed gravitas to the sequels (as does Max von Sydow as Lor San Tekka in Ep 7). Sadly, in the prequals he’s not much more than a puppet to hang plot points on; a troublemaker fronting the Separatists so Sidious can stay in the shadows, a boss fight at the end of Ep 2, and someone for Anny to kill at the start of Ep 3. Removing Grievous from Ep 3 could have allowed more development of Dooku’s character. He could have been a much more morally grey character, someone who maybe really believed in the Separatist cause, that the Jedi and the Republic were corrupt, and thought he was doing the right thing, as Anny does when he saves Palpy because he thinks it’s necessary to save his wife.

For example, Dooku’s death could have come much later in the third film, some time after the scene where Anny (accidentally) helps Sidious kill Windy. Having him turn to the dark side right then feels too rushed to me, there were no witnesses and Palpy could have manipulated him into covering it up, leaving him struggling with his conscience for a while. Killing Dooku could serve as the point where Anny finally gives in, and replaces the man he’s just killed as Sidious’ apprentice (thus foreshadowing Sidious trying to get Luke to do the same in Ep 6). Maybe by the time that happens, Dooku could have started questioning his loyalties, wondering if maybe he was wrong to turn against the Jedi and ally himself with Sidious. That way, by the time Anny kills him we could have been hoping he would be redeemed (foreshadowing the redemption of Anny himself at the end of Ep 6). Maybe Dooku is confronting or even trying to kill Palpatine when Anny takes him out, so Dooku is kind of redeemed, making us feel some sympathy for him and mixed feelings about his death as we did with Vader (despite all the expectations set up in Ep 4-6).

All that said, fan editors have to work with what they were given in the theatrical, disc, and streaming releases. I take the AGB editor’s point about Grievous being mentioned a lot as a MacGuffin, and I agree there would be a frustrating hole left if he never appeared at all. Unless there was some way to retcon that “General Grievous” is actually a code name for Count Dooku, so all the Grievous stuff could be removed, and some of the (non-cringy) Dooku stuff could be put back in the space left?

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Yes botias agbeditor have a point about grevious being mentioned alot, it could be fixed by making newt gunnery the nemodian boss general grevious. Or maybe even dooku.
And as to a separate point I agree that dooku also back flips too much and has corny lines that need removed. It would have almost made sense if dooku was a grey jedi and left the order because he was actually fighting sidious, but I believe that would be impossible to pull off successfully, I’ll think more on that point.

My fan edit ideas
http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Return-of-the-Sith-Revenge-of-the-Jedi-by-marduk666/id/17356

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Hello! First of all thank you guys for reviving my poor dead thread with some actual discussion.

Botias, I’m especially grateful for your in-depth response/critique! I really appreciate you taking the time to write up your thoughts like that. My apologies for letting it sit so long without a reply. But now let me respond to each exhaustively point-by point! I’ve numbered/summarized them to help organize my thoughts. Also I’ll probably reject a lot of it outright, but hey no offense! I really do appreciate it regardless!

1. Re-dubbing Trade Federation with sinister alien/garbled voices: This is a great idea but unfortunately one I’m not technically skilled enough to do. I tried my hand at a bit of audio replacement early on and quickly found all the vocal tracks weren’t just in the center audio channel, but mixed into the room ambience of every surround channel. That means the whole soundtrack, music, sound effects and all, would need to be remade to remove and replace dialogue.

2. Reinstating Qui-Gon behind the forcefield and Maul’s pacing: I think reinstating this bit would make the flow of the fight too stoppy/starty. Since it’s no longer being intercut there’s no need from a pacing perspective to slow the fight down to give it time to continue existing off screen while other battles happen. Plus I think any character development gained from showing the calm meditating Jedi vs. the snarling, pacing Sith is already achieved visually (monks vs. demon) plus Qui-Gon’s about to die so no need to waste time getting to know him much past that he’s Obi-Wan’s buddy.

3. Ditching 10-years later title; cutting dialogue from elevator scene: I like breaking up the sections with the title cards (I’m a sucker for typography) and it feels like a long time between the Episode II footage starts and when Anakin says it’s been 10 years in the elevator. Long enough that I think it could be distracting for a first-time viewer. The 10-years title especially helps a viewer treat what has come before as a brief prologue and somewhat re-sets the narrative which helps smooth what can be a rough jump from using Episode I to Episode II footage in any 3-in-1 edit. As for the elevator scene I agree some of it is corny and stilted, but there’s so little Anakin and Obi-Wan “friendship” in any of these movies I think I need to keep as much as possible even if it feels lame.

4. Cutting “please be careful” and the concept of droids with feelings: I will stan for droids with feelings. I think it’s a great bit of world-building business that droids are essentially just fully alive and everyone treats them like garbage. As for “please be careful” I think that’s the line that makes it clear Obi-Wan is about to leave for Geonosis right now even though no one else has explicitly mentioned it. So when the viewer hears “please be careful” and the next scene is a ship taking off, it’s just a lot brisker way to communicate what’s going on which I don’t think works as well without that tiny bit of dialogue. And sure it could be something like “I’ll have your ship prepared to depart immediately” or whatever, but again I like friendly droids!

5. Cut “Shmi is my wife”: I agree with you, but they’re shaking hands right as he says it so cutting around it would make that action feel oddly clipped.

6. Watto makes no sense: Yeah, he’s goofy but I can dig it. As a one-scene weird looking loser alien who was Anakin’s former owner I think his character design is well utilized. Anyway, they say he’s got helium in his belly, totally believable.

7. Keeping Doku v Anakin/Obi-Wan on Geonosis: I think pacing wise you can’t have this duel AND the duel where Doku dies since they’re so close together. Dooku and Yoda just doing moves at each other feels like such a hopelessly dumbed down version of what the Force could be that I didn’t want to include any bit of it. I also kinda like having that robot hand show up on Anakin out of nowhere as just another war wound collected along the way like his eye scar and dope hair.

8. R2 jumping out of Anakin’s ship: I half remember cutting this scene together originally and if I remember correctly the continuity of getting Anakin out of the ship in time felt off to me without R2 hopping and I don’t think there was something to cut to that wasn’t worse. Sure I could take another look, but I’m not too bothered by this one instance.

9. Cutting Dooku’s jump completely: Sure you could probably cut around it, but I don’t mind a touch of surprising old man Force agility right out of the gate.

10. Cutting “you won’t get away this time Dooku”: Yeah, it sucks but I feel like it adds the barest bit of context to a kind of passionless fight by connecting it to chasing him down on Geonosis, a sequence i thought was fairly exciting. I mean, it’s not great but ¯_(ツ)_/¯

11. Reinstate “Do it!”: Naw. I think it’s better if Palpatine does less obvious encouraging for Anakin to murder but instead supports his decisions after the fact. It helps reinforce that Anakin was more seduced by his own hubris/inner demons into the Dark Side instead of being tricked or pressured into it.

12. Dooku dropping a huge hunk of bridge on Obi-Wan: Ugh, I know. Unfortunately I don’t think I can cut around this scene without including that damn bridge. I see what you’re saying with your suggestion but I don’t think I could get it to fit neatly together like you describe without it feeling too choppy or without still seeing that Obi-Wan’s pinned under a huge bridge for no reason. That sequence cutting around the elevator hijinx felt like a miracle when I got it working so I’m also not keep to try unpacking it…

13. Cut crash landing set up and move birth of rebellion scene before pregnancy reveal: Like the corny elevator scene, I think the crash landing set up has some fun banter between Obi-Wan and Anakin that I feel is necessary to include to reinforce their friendship. I don’t think moving the birth of the rebellion deleted scene before the spaceport landing works. I like having the costume continuity between that scene and the one with Padme and Anakin arguing on the couch. Plus I think Padme conspiring against Palpatine introduces some tension into her and Anakin’s relationship that I don’t want to introduce before he’s already heading down the dark side in an effort to save her.

14. Remove “something wonderful has happened”: I think the point of this line is that it doesn’t ring true and Padme is just trying to ease the tension of delivering the news. Even she’s not convinced of it as she’s saying it.

15. Re-order scenes around Anakin being appointed to the council: I want to keep the introduction of the Jedi conspiracy against Palpatine in between Palpatine telling Anakin about the appointment and the scene where Windu says he won’t get the rank of Master. It helps the tension between the Jedi and Anakin to show their secret meeting before they speak with him as opposed to after. Plus, I want Anakin talking to Obi-Wan to happen immediately as they exit the council chamber and inserting the Jedi conspiracy scene before it would kill the emotional throughline of Anakin’s response to being denied the title of Master.

16. Remove the dropship conversation with Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Windu: I like this scene because it establishes that Obi-Wan is sort of the last one to still trust Anakin and reinforces the Jedi’s conflict both with Anakin and internally. Basically anything that helps the Jedi look like squabbling bureaucrats I’m in favor of keeping. I like the implication that on some level they deserve to be destroyed, at least as an institution if not personally murdered. Also this scene is a nice sunset transition between the previous scene and the night of the opera scene. Plus it shows Yoda meeting with a Wookie and sets up why he’s off-world with the Wookies when Vader storms the temple.

17. Cut “we’ll be able to capture that monster and end this war”: True it’s corny but also a rare line that shows Anakin degrading an enemy and getting excited about destroying them. I think it helps reinforce his character isn’t in line with traditional Jedi/light-side thinking and he’s okay using overwhelming power to achieve what he believes are noble goals. It’s that sort of attitude that eventually leads to his downfall, so I think it’s important to keep.

18. Cut “Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo…”: I like this line because of how wrong it is. There was never a time at any point in their relationship when they weren’t surrounded by or directly involved in war and political plots. I think Padme is trying to cling to a romanticized vision of the past (and their relationship) to escape the quickly worsening reality. At this point I think Anakin is beginning to feel completely alienated from her and that idea of the past and is contemplating the path he’s on and what he’s willing to do to achieve his goals. Hence why he stares off dead-eyed as she clings to him in a vain attempt to reach him.

19. Cut the lizard’s ridiculous noise: WHAAAAAARK

20. Excise the other Jedi masters from the Palpy / Windu fight: It’s a good idea and I’m pretty sure I’ve seen at least still-image mockups of it floating around these forums. You’d also need to cut them out of the scene with Anakin talking to Windu as he boards the dropship which from the angle and camera movement looks like it’d be even more difficult. I’m not technically skilled for either, unfortunately. As for the rest of the scene I agree it’s got a lot of problems starting at the script stage, not much to be done! I’ll totally defend the echoing of “too dangerous to be left alive” though as it points to the rot at the core of the Jedi that I think is good thematically.

21. Cut “unnnnnnlimited pppppppppower!”: He just loves to be real evil! It’s cute!

22. Move Darth Vader naming scene elsewhere: Yeah, it could work during the mask lowering scene but I like keeping that one dialogue-free, personally.

23. Cut “have faith my love…” for being creepy: I think at this stage in the story it is totally appropriate to have Anakin be a big creepy creep that Padme is increasingly icked out by.

24. Cut the Captain Typo convo on the landing pad: This was something I did remove at one point, but the extended gesturing between the two without any dialogue got very distracting to me as I rewatched. It could just be me I suppose. 3PO’s got a fair amount of mute gesticulating in the movie as well and that bugs me a ton too but I thought it was worth removing him as a character. You can’t really cut around it either since the shot is an extended pan down and also shows Obi-Wan sneaking on board, not much to cut away too.

25. Cut Obiwan’s hands-on-hips pose: Eh, it’s fine.

26. Anakin force-choking Amidala sucks: Agreed! But I think it would be weird to move her choking later and have Obi-Wan and Anakin yell at each other more before it happens. Then it just feels like…where is she? Why isn’t she interacting with her two friends having this screaming match about the nature of her boyfriend’s evil? Oh there she is, and nooooow choked.

27. Cut Obi-Wan saying “I loved you” plus re-organize theie convo on the lava rafts: Naw, he can say that, that’s fine. Plus I want to keep the “I loved you/I hate you” thing going on. I like keeping Anakin’s evil stare-down reaction shot right after “Well then you are lost” because I think it shows he’s realized he’s catching up with his vision and thinks he’s about to win this fight and burn Obi-Wan to death.

28. Cut Amidala saying Leia’s and Luke’s names: Naw, I don’t think it’s too much extra exposition to sit through if you’re doing a viewing in Machete order and I think if you’re doing Episode order you just gotta accept those spoilers, at least in this edit.

29. Misc thoughts, cutting Zam and speeder chase, adding more Tatooine: I totally admit the “little boy I knew on Tatooine” is a big problem that I don’t have a way around without adding more Tatooine into the edit, but also I think that’s a totally different edit and not the one I wanted to make this time around. But yeah if I were to take a different approach and include more Tatooine or Episode 1 in general, I think cutting Zam and her surrounding action is a good way to get the extra runtime to do that, assuming you want to keep an edit around the 2-ish hour mark.

Anyway, thank you again so so so much for taking the time to do this critique, and I hope you appreciate my responses and get a little more insight into what I was thinking!

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swagbeditor said:

Anyway, thank you again so so so much for taking the time to do this critique, and I hope you appreciate my responses and get a little more insight into what I was thinking!

No worries, and thanks for the detailed response. It definitely helps me better understand your reasons for putting things together the way you did. Thanks again for all your great work on this edit.

FWIW My brother and I have been watching the Despecialized Editions in Machete Order over the last few days, with AGB swapped in for the full prequels. AGB works really well when viewed after Empire, I’ve actually enjoyed it more than the on first watch. My brother said he kept bracing himself for cringy bits and then being pleasantly surprised when they just weren’t there 😉