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Simple Storytelling — Page 6

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Which suprised Oxnar/Shirley Temple, because he/she didn't even know Japanese.
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"Wakari masen," the Japanese citizen replied. It turns out that Oxnar had, in fact, not been speaking Japanese. His immense power had only caused him to hear that he was speaking Japanese. So, Oxnar decided to speak in a language that he knew this person would understand.... The Good Ship Lollipop!

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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Which, also, proved infrutiferous. Several attempts were made of communicating with the Earth people. Mimics. Songs. Puppets. Pig latin. Nothing seemed to work. And Oxnar needed to find Mojo and Reallife soon, or else the plotline wouldn't advance fast enough, and that topic would be pushed back into page two of the forum, where it would be forgotten forever!
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
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Oxnar staged a 'battle of the bands', hoping that Mojo and Reallife would attend to kick rythmic butt and take melodious names, requiring "the seventeen best guitar players in the world"--so that he could make his move once they arrived.

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So Oxnar decided to hire a PR/marketing firm to promote his battle of the bands, and rents out a stadium. Which brings into question how he came up with the money or how he can communiate with anyone, but thanks to creative license and Oxnar's power to create a couple of minor plotholes, he got it all done.
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In the weeks leading up to the battle of the bands, Oxnar studied and mastered every major language on Earth (he's a fast learner). In between language study, Oxnar chuckled to himself about all the I.O.Us he had written to fund the battle of the bands, which, being evil, he never intended to honor.

Finally the Battle of the Bands arrived...

War does not make one great.

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Limp Biscuit was the first band to arrive, and Oxnar rubbed his hands together in glee as more and more bands began filing in to the stadium; "Everything is going according to my evil plan...which is EVIL!" he exclaimed, then realzied he'd forgotten what exactly his plan had been and needed a timely reminder from the narrarrator.

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The plan was to end the Mojo/Reallife situation.... IN BLOOD!

War does not make one great.

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About this point, Loretta conviently arrives at the stadium with the card, that had been forgotten about by Mojo/Realife and Oxnar didn't even know about yet.
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The battle of the bands moves on, with Radiohead taking the stage. While entertained, the audience is confused by the sinister-looking Shirley Temple who was supposedly organizing the event, standing in the back of the stage rubbing his hand and silently giggling in an evil way, just waiting for Mojo and Reallife's moment on the stage.
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
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While Radiohead continued playing, the sidekick Oxnar had spawned from nothing, who resembled a young Judy Garland, asked, "Why don't you just kill them backstage rather than wait until they're surrounded by thousands of rabid fans? And did I mentioned we're not in Kansas anymore?"

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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Oxnar sighed. "Yes, yes you did. You do that stupid joke every time you appear as Judy Garland. We should stop doing child actresses from the 30s... And regarding the destruction of Mojo and Reallife, I have plans for them. Big plans. Big evil plans. Wait and you'll see..."
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
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Mojo and Reallife took the stage to thunderous applause... just like how Liberty died... but that's the lead female of the Mojo prequel. Loretta is the ingenue of this story. And she just managed to make her way to Japan at that very moment, with a terrible plot-twisting secret to reveal.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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Loretta picked up the slip of paper, and gasped when she read it--Mojo's maternal and paternal grandfather were none other than Jenkins and Silvestre; how a Mosquito and an Albino's offspring could have given birth to a monkey was quite beyond her, but the revelation made Loretta hark back to the story that Mojo's father had told him so many times... and it suddenly made sense to her!!!!

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"Once upon a time, a beautiful princess got married, had kids, and died, causing her kids to be great rulers. The end," was how the story had gone. Obviously, Jenkins had been one of the offspring. Only he got bored one day and dashed off to Pluto to do some adventuring. The Plutonian atmosphere had allowed him to live for generations but turned him into an albino. There he met a beautiful woman and married her. Obviously, they couldn't have monkey children of their own, so they adopted a monkey, who would be Mojo's father. But they intravenously injected Jenkins's royalty into him through Plutonian science. Then he met Silvestre, who also had a pet monkey. But this monkey was also quarter elf and quarter Petebest the Dragon. Soon the monkeys married and mated. And all those factors meant...

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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...that Mojo was indeed air to the Plutonian/Petebestian dynasties, and would some day be a great king and/or potentate if he could ever rid himself of the altruistically impaired demon Reallife and the truly evil demon Oxnar, the latter of whom he still does not know about--and Loretta and Loretta alone knew all this; on her way home she was bitten by a radioactive cockroach and given the power to survive almost anything.

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So now that the exposition is out of the way, and Loretta was so close to reaching the Battle of the Bands, Mojo and Reallife were starting their set.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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They began with a jamming power ballad with a name that escapse me at the moment, and then strung that into the entire guitar solo from 'Freebird', causing the crowed to go wild.

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This was followed by an awesome rendition of Jimi Hendrix's 'All Along The Watchtower', which Mojo played entirely with his feet while Reallife Freestyle rapped about life on 'Da Streetz'.

War does not make one great.

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Angered by the crowd's enthusiasm, Oxnar could no longer take the cheering and screaming, so, grabbing a sword from the back room he charged on to stage and swore that he would now slay his altruistically-impaired minion and the man named Mojo--the microphone picked every word of it up, too.

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The audience, who thought this was all part of Mojo and Reallife's awesome show, simply cheered louder.

War does not make one great.

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all of the sudden all the lights in the arena went out. The audience cheered even louder and flicked their lighters on and proudly displayed them in the air.

All the while in the back corner of the arena, a strange green glow is pulsating.

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All of the sudden, that cute yet creepy Shirley Temple was no more. Oxnar's let go his disguize and showed off in his first transformation level, an evil pulsating green blob wih several tentacles! "Now, Mojo and Reallife, you'll get what you deserve!", said Oxnar, throwing his tentacles at Mojo and grabbing him by the head.
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
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Mojo used his Petebestian powers to drive the demon back, spraying Oxnar with a blast of fire from his belly button... even as the green glow got larger...

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This was a total surprise to Mojo, who didn't yet know that he was half Petebestian.

War does not make one great.