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Simple Storytelling — Page 3

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Another of Samuel's concerns was the way that one of the commandos acted around these fanboys - Samual began to suspect that Silbestre, the mosquito commando with the bad memory, was in fact a closet homosexual.

War does not make one great.

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After all, Silvestre seemed to have a bit too much fun sucking the blood out of his prey sometimes. After all, Silvestre seemed to have a bit too much fun sucking the blood out of his prey sometimes. Did I mention he had bad short-term memory? Short-term memory?

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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Eventually, however, Samual was able to use Silvestre to infiltrate the alien strong hold as a spy on the wall, at least until he forgot what he was doing and drank the blood of a Knockoutgassian pig.

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While knocked out, Silvestre had an erotic dream about his fellow spies

War does not make one great.

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But we're not going to elaborate on that, as I fear it might it corrupt our little minds. Instead, meanwhile, Ringo finally gets up from his rock and decides to chase after the original man. Inside his ear (do men made from boils have ears? I guess they do), a True Green Meanie in microscopic form was... forming. Samual, who had made an awesome camoflage out of one of Elvis's jumpsuits, decided that he no longer could wait for Silvestre to return, and that he had to confront his destiny with Ringo... NOW!!!

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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Well trained in the art of dramatic final confrontations, Samuel climbs to the top of an active volcan and awaits Ringo.

War does not make one great.

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Samual lunged forward with his knife, stabbing at Ringo, The Man Made of Hives, but was deflected by Ringo's reflexes, which were really really good; Samual responded by stabbing Ringo in the thigh and hurling him across the volcano where he recited the first part of the declaration of Independence, saying, "When in the course of human events it becomes neccessary for one people to desolve the political bonds which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth the seperate and equal stations to which the laws of nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that the should declare the causes which impel them to the seperation," three times very quikcly--so quikcly that Samual became annoyed and called in Bobby and Jenkins to help him fight the battle.

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But not Silvestre because Silvestre is gay and Samuel doesn't like people who are gay. Little does Samuel know that Ringo's greatest fear is gay people, and if Samuel were to summon Silvestre to his side, Ringo's head would explode from fear.

War does not make one great.

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And also, of course, because Silvestre is still a tad unconscious from his failed reconnaissance mission. Poor Ringo, however, who had been stabbed and flung over an active volcano, still had no idea what was going on. But the True Green Meanie did. His hatred for Samual and his two sidekicks had festered and grown, feeding him and bringing him to the brink of maturity, no longer needing Ringo as his host. And now he decided it was time to act while the third flamboyant sidekick was out of the picture...

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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The green meanie rips itself from Ringo's head, killing him in the process. The sight of a green meanie ripping itself from Ringo's body causes Samuel to die from shock.

With Samuel dead and Silvestre unconscious and gay, the task of stopping the green meanie lies in the hands of Bobby the Mulato and Jenkins the Albino.

War does not make one great.

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With the body count of this story having reached about five main characters so far, the eart... Pluto seems doomed! But Silvestre finally awakens! But he doesn't remember where he is or why he is there due to his extremely pathetic short-term memory! Meanwhile, Bobby and Jenkins prepare to fight the True Green Meanie! But first they have to make their Super Fighting Pose!

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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The pose was a massive success, and the True Green Meanie was driven back, cursing the day he was defeated by an Albino and a Mulatto, and swearing revenge.

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Does that mean we can start a new story now? Because that one..er...sucked.

War does not make one great.

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New story.

One day little Billy was riding his bicicle when he found out the back tire was filled with pastic explosive.
Watch DarthEvil's Who Framed Darth Vader? video on YouTube!

You can also access the entire Horriffic Violence Theater Series from my Channel Page.
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You see, Billy was a mutant and could ride his bike for 10 straight ours at 80kph, though, such speeds made it very difficult to make sharp turns.

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And he wasalso riding away from AWK and Micheal Jackson.
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as billy thinks how sad it is that a certain forum member has gained a sense of infamous status on these boards equivelent to voldemort, he notices a lolipop on the ground.

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Suddenly, the lollipop came to life and spewed out an immense wave of energy, destroying the bomb on Billy's bike and informing the young lad that only his mutant powers of endurance could save his home-dimension of Vosteria.

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A court case ensued in which it was revealed that Billy's mutant powers, the lollipop that came to life, the bomb on his bike and the dimension of Vosteria were all figments of Billy's imagination, bought on by wine laced with LSD he had been given by Michael Jackson.

War does not make one great.

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Then he woke up at his house and realized the whole thing had been a nightmare... Until the Lollipop approached him again, saying that the world was a computer simulation called The Program and that the odd experiences of the past few days had been glitches in the program created by The Transistors, a race of super-computers that wanted to enslave humanity for the purpose of harnessing their powers of imagination, which the Transistors lacked; unfortuantely, Billy simply chose not to believe the Lollipop, eating him instead.

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Originally posted by: Yoda Is Your Father
Does that mean we can start a new story now? Because that one..er...sucked.


Aww. I thought that was a fun story. And all those albino possibilities we didn't explore! The only problem with it was never keeping a main character around for any length of time. Anyway...

Upon eating the lollipop, Billy gained a level and got to choose a new skill. He had to choose among teleportation, a shiny new bike, and the ability to forsee the outcome of trivial events in the future. Billy thought long and hard and decided the best decision would be to choose...

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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...the ability to forsee the outcome of trivial events in the futures, mostly due to the machinations of one sadistic author wanting to make some jokes about predestiantion vs choice and the paradox of seeing a possible future vs making it happen.

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