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RogueLeader's Rogue One Edit

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 (Edited)

I liked Rogue One, but I definitely think that the lack of characterization and other common criticisms were justified. Without deleted scenes, you can only do so much, but I wanted to see what can be done with what we were given.

I think the biggest criticism of the film was its lack of character development. This falls hard on Jyn, especially. An informative video essay by Lessons From the Screenplay highlights the faults in the two newest Star Wars films’ central protagonists, Rey and Jyn. While Rey is another topic, Michael delves into Jyn’s character and describes her as a passive protagonist, meaning Jyn rarely makes decisions that have any influence on the story as a whole. Link to video below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsIQa7sH5_Y&t=638s

A few months ago I also stumbled across a Tor article by Max Gladstone titled “How to Fix Rogue One with the Least Amount of Effort”. While some of his changes are impossible to make, he had some ideas that I thought could be doable. Please give it a read when you can; he explains his own ideas much more elegantly than I could.

https://www.tor.com/2017/01/05/least-effort-fixes-for-rogue-one/comment-page-1/

So, after reading these criticisms, along with many others on here and other websites, I decided to work on an edit with these major goals.

Make the first act less jumpy.
Make Jyn a more active protagonist.
Save Galen’s message as a reveal.

UPDATE: June 2019

Lately I have been thinking about revisiting Rogue One. YouTuber Nando v Movies just released a new video suggesting cuts for Rogue One (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Syx3CBenkz0), and the timing of this video seems to me like a sign for me to go forward with finishing this edit. Considering my name on here is RogueLeader, I figure it would be appropriate for my first official fan edit be for Rogue One.

So, I won’t be using all of my ideas when I originally made this thread, but some I will, like trying to make Jyn a more active protagonist as well as save Galen’s involvement as a reveal.

I will be borrowing heavily from TM2YC’s Where Rebels Dare fan edit as well as taking elements from DigitalModification’s Spark of the Rebellion edit, big changes and small
As of now, I will not be implementing an opening crawl or wipes like they do, though.

Some other ideas I will be adding:
Cut all scenes of Bodhi and Saw before Jyn & Cassian meet them (Nando and ChainsawAsh idea)
As a side-effect of that idea, there will be no Bor Gullet.
Cut all scenes of Vader up until the corridor sequence.
Save Galen’s involvement as reveal, so the initial mission is only to get the pilot
Change “We’ll make sure you go free” to “[It’s] a chance for you to make a fresh start.” or “We’ll make you a fresh start.” Basically, they’ll set up Jyn with a brand new identity, not just “setting her free”.
Cut “we’re up against the clock” line, so it feels like Jyn has more of a choice.
Cut the Dr. Evazan and Ponda Baba cameo.
Have Chirrut “sense” Jyn saving the young Jedha girl, which motivates him to rescue Jyn later from the Stormtroopers
Have Jyn be the one to suggest going to Eadu to rescue her father.
Keep Galen’s death the same, but have his last words be “Star… dust"
Cut all shots or mentions of Vader before corridor scene.
Cut shots of Vader looking straight at the Tantive IV.

One bigger idea I’m considering:
Use cuts and VFX to remove the data disc being handed off to the Tantive IV. Mask it out of hand. Maybe replace disc with blaster for the second rebel (since he has a blaster in his right hand when he makes it into the Tantive IV). We can assume both ships received the transmission.
Maybe the insert shot of the Raddus receiving the plans could be moved to inbetween the shot of the Tantive IV flying away, and the shot of the rebels running down the hallway, to show that they had downloaded the plans (maybe replicate the graphics of the rebels downloading it to the card).

Another idea I’m thinking about:
Cut mentions of Galen laying a ‘trap’. You can still interpret it that way, but I want it to also just seem like Galen is wanting to leak a weakness that is inherent to the Death Star’s design, not that he intentionally designed it to have a weakness. He lied all these years so he could know its strengths and weaknesses, and then tell the Rebels how it could be destroyed.
To me, this is the best of both worlds. Galen betrays the Empire, but it also doesn’t arguably take away from Luke’s miracle.

There are still some other ideas I’m floating around with, like the scene where Jyn confronts Cassian about Eadu, Jyn’s speech to the rebels, and how to cut them based off this idea of improving characterization that I have. If any of you have any other ideas you want to suggest, just let me know.

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For the first Act, I like your ideas which is similar to Digimod’s. Remove the title cards, very unnecessary. Also removing Bodhi’s first scene helps with the whiplash.

Thinking more about the third act, I think I do agree with your option 3 may not be seamless to rework. Maybe option 2 could work alright. There is so much you can do without deleted scenes or dialogue, so I think on the flip side … maybe less would be more.

Personally not a Bor Gullett fan, but hey, its your edit and at least you will try to reduce the CGI-ness and that losing mind line being removed could help.

Essentially I am all aboard your first 2 act ideas, some of the miscellaneous ones I am on the fence for, specifically the easter egg ideas. I do like you want to reduce things from it …which would be better than leaving them as in.

On a personal side I like Digimod’s edit … just personally wish he left the cassian first scene and the line “I’m blind” and it would be perfect to me. 😉

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 (Edited)

RogueLeader said:
Any feedback/ideas that could help me with this edit would be greatly appreciated!

This might sound insane put scenes from Star Wars rebels give Vader a role hunting down all of the Jedi and have Obi Wan vs Darth Mual

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 (Edited)

Here are two clips from the edit. The first is the Yavin IV briefing room scene where they tell Jyn the plan. Now, the plan is simply to rescue the pilot and bring him to the Alliance. They’re unaware that Galen actually sent the pilot.
https://vimeo.com/243094840
password: fanedit

The second clip is the first few minutes of Jedha in the film. The first half shows the removal of K2SO’s line “That doesn’t sound so bad to me.” It isn’t a bad line, but because we are expecting a quippy line, the scene might actually play funnier if he does the unexpected and says nothing. They originally showed this scene last year at Star Wars Celebration without sound, and I think it played funnier with the audience.
The second half is Bodhi and Saw’s first scene in the film, followed by the trimmed Bor Gullet scene.
https://vimeo.com/243197525
password: fanedit

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Personally, I’d cut all of Saw and Bodhi’s scenes before Jyn and Cassian get to Saw’s group. This way you’d meet Saw with Jyn (you can take the shot of Saw’s legs walking from the scene where he meets Bodhi in the original version to give his meeting with Jyn a more “character introduction” feel) and Bodhi with Cassian. You can tone Bodhi’s post-Bor Gullet confusion down too.

Haven’t gotten a chance to watch your clips yet, but I’m a big fan of the ideas you’ve got for this edit.

(I would definitely cut Artoo and Threepio and Ponda Baba and Evazan’s cameos, though.)

a trolling bantha

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 (Edited)

I agree with ChainsawAsh on pretty much everything, but I like what you did with the briefing.

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RogueLeader said:

Here are two clips from the edit. The first is the Yavin IV briefing room scene where they tell Jyn the plan. Now, the plan is simply to rescue the pilot and bring him to the Alliance. They’re unaware that Galen actually sent the pilot.
https://vimeo.com/243094840
password: fanedit

The second clip is the first few minutes of Jedha in the film. The first half shows the removal of K2SO’s line “That doesn’t sound so bad to me.” It isn’t a bad line, but because we are expecting a quippy line, the scene might actually play funnier if he does the unexpected and says nothing. They originally showed this scene last year at Star Wars Celebration without sound, and I think it played funnier with the audience.
The second half is Bodhi and Saw’s first scene in the film, followed by the trimmed Bor Gullet scene.
https://vimeo.com/243197525
password: fanedit

Two things I would add to this take out the weird squid scene and the first clip cuts way to quickly it needs to have an audio fade or a wipe transition

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Clips look pretty damn good! There’s some dead air in the “doesn’t sound so bad” line removal that should be filled with ambient environmental audio, though, and there’s some more blending needed to smooth out the audio on some of the lines in the briefing scene. Other than that, it all looks and sounds great!

a trolling bantha

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I think in this edit they know Galen is building the weapon, but they don’t know that Galen sent Bodhi.

a trolling bantha

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 (Edited)

ChainsawAsh said:

Personally, I’d cut all of Saw and Bodhi’s scenes before Jyn and Cassian get to Saw’s group. This way you’d meet Saw with Jyn (you can take the shot of Saw’s legs walking from the scene where he meets Bodhi in the original version to give his meeting with Jyn a more “character introduction” feel) and Bodhi with Cassian. You can tone Bodhi’s post-Bor Gullet confusion down too.

(I would definitely cut Artoo and Threepio and Ponda Baba and Evazan’s cameos, though.)

That is a good idea as well. I think the scene is meant to show how Saw has sort of gone off the deep end, but I guess we still see that briefly when he speaks to Jyn. Even though I would hate to lose more screen time for Riz Ahmed and Forest Whittaker, it wouldn’t hurt to at least try it out and see how it feels without it.

And if enough people think I should remove the cameos I might. They’re easy enough to get rid of!

HerekittykittyX said:

Two things I would add to this take out the weird squid scene and the first clip cuts way to quickly it needs to have an audio fade or a wipe transition

Thanks for the input! I might take out the squid scene. I wonder if it would help if I made a before and after to help show how it differs from the original version at least. Also, I didn’t change how the first clip cuts away, that is how it is in the original, if you are referring to the briefing room scene.

ChainsawAsh said:

Clips look pretty damn good! There’s some dead air in the “doesn’t sound so bad” line removal that should be filled with ambient environmental audio, though, and there’s some more blending needed to smooth out the audio on some of the lines in the briefing scene. Other than that, it all looks and sounds great!

I listened to that part again and I didn’t hear any dead air, I have ambience running throughout. You may have misheard it or maybe I’m missing it! If you wouldn’t care to double check I would appreciate it. You should hear that locust-like sound all the way through.

Yeah I agree. I think I have smoothed out Mon Mothma’s “and return him to the Senate” a bit more than it is in the clip now. It is definitely a challenge because of how quickly they talk. Thanks for the input!

I think in this edit they know Galen is building the weapon, but they don’t know that Galen sent Bodhi.

This is correct, thank you for clarifying!

DigMod said:

Oops,looks like I read it wrong.

It was a lot to read so it was easy enough to miss!

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RogueLeader said:

I listened to that part again and I didn’t hear any dead air, I have ambience running throughout. You may have misheard it or maybe I’m missing it! If you wouldn’t care to double check I would appreciate it. You should hear that locust-like sound all the way through.

I also watched it on my phone, so it’s entirely possible that I’m dead wrong and my phone’s speaker is just shit. I’ll try and give it another listen later on.

a trolling bantha

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ChainsawAsh said:

RogueLeader said:

I listened to that part again and I didn’t hear any dead air, I have ambience running throughout. You may have misheard it or maybe I’m missing it! If you wouldn’t care to double check I would appreciate it. You should hear that locust-like sound all the way through.

I also watched it on my phone, so it’s entirely possible that I’m dead wrong and my phone’s speaker is just shit. I’ll try and give it another listen later on.

I think its your phone Ash, the ambient noise is there.

The first clip is great, really good editing and like the narrative based on your edit.

I will say I do agree with all what Chainsawash has said on his previous posts. I appreciate you want the air time for Saw, but it would be better to take out those scenes … especially the Gullett scene…

Lastly, having K2 silent with the bag is genius. I like it better this way!

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jarbear said:

I think its your phone Ash, the ambient noise is there.

The first clip is great, really good editing and like the narrative based on your edit.

I will say I do agree with all what Chainsawash has said on his previous posts. I appreciate you want the air time for Saw, but it would be better to take out those scenes … especially the Gullett scene…

Lastly, having K2 silent with the bag is genius. I like it better this way!

Thanks for the input! And I’m glad you like the K2 change!

Yeah, and it seems there’s no redemption with the Bor Gullet scene. The next cut I’ll probably remove those scenes, and if people are willing to watch the first 20-30 minutes, see how it flows.

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RogueLeader said:

jarbear said:

I think its your phone Ash, the ambient noise is there.

The first clip is great, really good editing and like the narrative based on your edit.

I will say I do agree with all what Chainsawash has said on his previous posts. I appreciate you want the air time for Saw, but it would be better to take out those scenes … especially the Gullett scene…

Lastly, having K2 silent with the bag is genius. I like it better this way!

Thanks for the input! And I’m glad you like the K2 change!

Yeah, and it seems there’s no redemption with the Bor Gullet scene. The next cut I’ll probably remove those scenes, and if people are willing to watch the first 20-30 minutes, see how it flows.

Count me in to check out the first act after cutting those scenes. If it works and you decide to go that route, this honestly might negate the need for me to do my own edit of RO when I get my new PC built around tax time! (More time for me to finally finish my Hobbit 3-in-1, I guess!)

a trolling bantha

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ChainsawAsh said:
(I would definitely cut Artoo and Threepio and Ponda Baba and Evazan’s cameos, though.)

Yep, 100% agree here. I would love this fanedit to use DigMod’s Rise of the Rebellion as a base with further cuts and changes (it overall seems to be the case, so I’m interested, especially in the removal of “oh this chick can fight !” moments and other stormtroopers getting killed with blind shots…).

“I have to say that I felt George’s group of six films had more innovative visual imagination, and this film was more of a retrenchment to things you had seen before and characters you had seen before, and it took a few baby steps forward with new characters.” - James Cameron about Episode VII.

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I would be glad to watch the first 20 - 30 minute preview man.

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I totally agree with you MalaStrana! I think DigMod’s edit is fantastic. I think if you were to take his edit and implement the narrative restructure, you’d have something “truly special”. The main difference is he adds an opening crawl and I don’t.

Thanks for the interest! I haven’t had a chance to re-edit the first 30 minutes yet, but in the meantime I thought I’d share two other clips from the edit. The first is an attempt to show why Chirrut might want to save Jun and Cassian from the stormtroopers a few minutes later in the film. The second is the restructuring of U-Wing conversation between the Jedha and Eadu sequences.

password: fanedit
https://vimeo.com/243090809
https://vimeo.com/243089860

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Not to shabby there RogueLeader. It certainly gives Chirrut motivation to stick his neck out like that.

Also for the U-Wing convo, seemed all pretty smooth to me …

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 (Edited)

oojason said:

Revising Rogue One’ - by Nando v Movies:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Syx3CBenkz0
 

^ an intriguing video with the idea of 3 suggested cuts to the movie to try and increase the early pacing of the film. It’s a shame they are with Bodhi Rook (played by the talented Riz Ahmed) - yet may make for a impacting introduction for the character, and his place in the mission…

(to bring some mystery and tension with the character - all we know that an Imperial Pilot has defected with some information from Jyn’s father about a new Imperial super weapon… becoming a mystery, can he be trusted? a hero or mole? a traitor or someone trying to do the right thing / makes things right…)
 

Also with the proposal to cut Vader from the film until the end corridor scene - and why.
 

Lately I have been thinking about revisiting Rogue One and actually completing it, and the timing of this video seems to me like a sign for me to go forward with it. Considering my name on here is RogueLeader, I figure it would be appropriate for my first official fan edit be for Rogue One.

So, I won’t be using all of my ideas when I originally made this thread, but some I will, like trying to make Jyn a more active protagonist as well as save Galen’s involvement as a reveal.

I will be borrowing heavily from TM2YC’s Where Rebels Dare fan edit as well as taking elements from DigitalModification’s Spark of the Rebellion edit, big changes and small
As of now, I will not be implementing an opening crawl or wipes like they do, though.

Some other ideas I will be adding:
Cut all scenes of Bodhi and Saw before Jyn & Cassian meet them (Nando and ChainsawAsh idea)
As a side-effect of that idea, there will be no Bor Gullet.
Cut all scenes of Vader up until the corridor sequence.
Save Galen’s involvement as reveal, so the initial mission is only to get the pilot
Change “We’ll make sure you go free” to “[It’s] a chance for you to make a fresh start.” or “We’ll make you a fresh start.” Basically, they’ll set up Jyn with a brand new identity, not just “setting her free”.
Cut “we’re up against the clock” line, so it feels like Jyn has more of a choice.
Cut the Dr. Evazan and Ponda Baba cameo.
Have Chirrut “sense” Jyn saving the young Jedha girl, which motivates him to rescue Jyn later from the Stormtroopers
Have Jyn be the one to suggest going to Eadu to rescue her father.
Keep Galen’s death the same, but have his last words be “Star… dust"
Cut all shots or mentions of Vader before corridor scene.
Cut shots of Vader looking straight at the Tantive IV.

One bigger idea I’m considering:
Use cuts and VFX to remove the data disc being handed off to the Tantive IV. Mask it out of hand. Maybe replace disc with blaster for the second rebel (since he has a blaster in his right hand when he makes it into the Tantive IV). We can assume both ships received the transmission.
Maybe the insert shot of the Raddus receiving the plans could be moved to inbetween the shot of the Tantive IV flying away, and the shot of the rebels running down the hallway, to show that they had downloaded the plans (maybe replicate the graphics of the rebels downloading it to the card).

Another idea I’m thinking about:
Cut mentions of Galen laying a ‘trap’. You can still interpret it that way, but I want it to also just seem like Galen is wanting to leak a weakness that is inherent to the Death Star’s design, not that he intentionally designed it to have a weakness. He lied all these years so he could know its strengths and weaknesses, and then tell the Rebels how it could be destroyed.
To me, this is the best of both worlds. Galen betrays the Empire, but it also doesn’t arguably take away from Luke’s miracle.

There are still some other ideas I’m floating around with, like the scene where Jyn confronts Cassian about Eadu, Jyn’s speech to the rebels, and how to cut them based off this idea of improving characterization that I have. If any of you have any other ideas you want to suggest, just let me know.