Sign In

Rise of the Witch, The Dark Times Begin, and A New Order

Author
Time

Hello folks, I'm new here. 

For the better part of a year I've been hashing out the details of  radical prequel rewrite. It would be impossible to edit the existing PT films enough to fit the story that I want to tell, so it is my intention to one day make independent films of my own through whatever means necessary. 

I began the process by looking over other fans' prequel rewrites. I quickly realized that I didn't like any of them because they tried to stay too close to the Lucas PT. 

By that I mean these other rewrites had planets like Naboo, Geonosis, and Utapau. They also retained characters like Jango Fett, Jar Jar, and General Grievous. None of these names or locations are *needed* to tell the story that the prequels demand. 

I sense that after so many years of having to put up with Lucas' PT we've been led to assume that an alternate treatment of the story would have to include the same story elements, plot lines, characters, and locations, but ever so slightly re-arranged.

From my point of view, we do not *need* to see a teenage Anakin being trained by Obi-Wan Kenobi. In fact, we don't need any kids or teenagers at all. We don't 

With all that being said, here is a list of Lucas PT elements that I have done my absolute best to avoid. This list is not comprehensive...

- Any names of characters or planets that were in the PT but not the OT. The lone exception is Coruscant.
- A very large number of Jedi running around the galaxy. 
- Throw-away antagonists who are killed within one movie of their first appearance and are not given any character depth, history of interactions with other main characters, or clear motivation.
- An over-abundance of lightsabers.
- R2D2 and C-3PO.
- The term "Sith". They are not Sith, they are "followers of the dark side" or "dark Jedi".

And here is what I am going to include in my PT rewrite that will spice the story up and help connect it to the OT more firmly than Lucas did...

- A very small Jedi Order. Their numbers in this trilogy never go past seven members. Also Yoda is technically a Jedi but he is not part of the Order. He stays on Dagobah the whole trilogy and does not romp around the galaxy having adventures like the other characters. He is seen in ONE scene at the beginning of Episode III. 
- A female villain. And no, her name does not begin with "Darth". However, Vader does eventually claim her lightsaber for use in the OT. Also, she is not conspiring with Palpatine.
- There are only four lightsaber users in this trilogy. It's not much of a stretch from the OT's three; and it's far less indulgent than the Lucas PT's 1000+. 
 - An interesting cast of new characters. The central protagonist of the series is not Anakin Skywalker, but his apprentice Ben. Through a long series of events, Obi-Wan will eventually respect young Ben enough to adopt his name as a disguise when he has to go into hiding on Tatooine. I'll get deeper into that later.
- Anakin's love interest AKA Ben's former love interest AKA Luke and Leia's mother, who I have named Jeni, is a much more action-oriented character than Padme. She is part of a spice freighter crew captained by Ben, the up-and-coming Jedi. 
- Jedi are infertile. And this fact is believed to hold fast and true for all of them until it is revealed in Episode II that Jeni is carrying Anakin's children. I will not explain this scientifically because that would lead us into midi-chlorian territory. Just chalk it up to the mysterious workings of the Force.
- The Clone Wars are fought not for economic reasons between the Republic and a Confederacy, but for racial reasons between the Republic and what I call the League.  

- The Republic is an ostensibly tolerant entity that has gained deeply-rooted Human supremacist tendencies as of late. Many non-Humans of the galaxy have been feeling increasingly marginalized and form the League, not a true government per se but more of an organized resistance movement a la the Rebels from the OT. Near the beginning of Episode I they strike the first blow against the Republic by capturing the Chancellor. 
- It is called The Clone Wars because the League often uses large masses of warriors cloned from the finest combatants of various species within the League. The Republic uses massive numbers of conscripts, with volunteer legions forming the Stormtroopers. Clone soldiers are not used by the Republic for two reasons...(1) Cloning is outlawed in the Republic and (2) Some species, such as Humans, are far more difficult to clone than others. 

I'll start posting an outline of Episode I: Rise of the Witch if there's any interest. 

peace 

 

Author
Time

McFlabbergasty said:

I began the process by looking over other fans' prequel rewrites. I quickly realized that I didn't like any of them because they tried to stay too close to the Lucas PT.

A good number of people here agree with you.


And here is what I am going to include in my PT rewrite that will spice the story up and help connect it to the OT more firmly than Lucas did...

- A female villain. And no, her name does not begin with "Darth". However, Vader does eventually claim her lightsaber for use in the OT. Also, she is not conspiring with Palpatine.

Will be interested to see how this plays out.


 - An interesting cast of new characters. The central protagonist of the series is not Anakin Skywalker, but his apprentice Ben. Through a long series of events, Obi-Wan will eventually respect young Ben enough to adopt his name as a disguise when he has to go into hiding on Tatooine. I'll get deeper into that later.

Also interested in seeing how this works. Very important to have a new and dynamic cast of characters so this is more than a pathetic shadow of the OT.

- Anakin's love interest AKA Ben's former love interest AKA Luke and Leia's mother, who I have named Jeni, is a much more action-oriented character than Padme. She is part of a spice freighter crew captained by Ben, the up-and-coming Jedi. 

Love triangle does add depth. By "Ben" do you mean apprentice Ben or Obi Wan?

- Jedi are infertile. And this fact is believed to hold fast and true for all of them until it is revealed in Episode II that Jeni is carrying Anakin's children. I will not explain this scientifically because that would lead us into midi-chlorian territory. Just chalk it up to the mysterious workings of the Force.

This raises a skeptical eyebrow for me as it seems pretty arbitrary, but always curious to see how a seemingly wacky idea might work.


I'll start posting an outline of Episode I: Rise of the Witch if there's any interest. 

peace 

There definitely is interest in these parts. I suspect difficult for many of us to maintain a passion for our own rewriting. I will sometimes think about my ideas for days at a time, write a few scenes, and then drift away for awhile. Seeing people's work can help inspire more passion!

The blue elephant in the room.

Author
Time

McFlabbergasty said:


I sense that after so many years of having to put up with Lucas' PT we've been led to assume that an alternate treatment of the story would have to include the same story elements, plot lines, characters, and locations, but ever so slightly re-arranged.


Alternatively, the rewriters in question may just like those concepts and would like to see them in a better context =P

here is a list of Lucas PT elements that I have done my absolute best to avoid. This list is not comprehensive...

- The term "Sith". They are not Sith, they are "followers of the dark side" or "dark Jedi".


Though I don't hate the Sith (at least the Sith as they were portrayed pre-PT), I think this is a good idea. The Sith have too much baggage; having the lightsiders and darksiders belonging to two different sects of the same basic religion is a nice simplification.

- A very small Jedi Order. Their numbers in this trilogy never go past seven members.


I'm not sure how I feel about this. It could work if you don't have the Jedi acting as a kind of cornerstone to the Republic, so to speak, but as some minor group that almost no one knows about which plays no major role in galactic affairs.

- A female villain. And no, her name does not begin with "Darth".


DEFINATELY agree with these, especially the "Darth" one. It'd also be nice if the female villain is young, attractive, and seductive rather than old, ugly, and deformed.

Also, she is not conspiring with Palpatine.


Another good one. We don't need the universe revolving around Palpatine.

- There are only four lightsaber users in this trilogy. It's not much of a stretch from the OT's three; and it's far less indulgent than the Lucas PT's 1000+.


Any plans of including lightsabers coloured something other than blue, red, and green?

- Jedi are infertile. And this fact is believed to hold fast and true for all of them until it is revealed in Episode II that Jeni is carrying Anakin's children. I will not explain this scientifically because that would lead us into midi-chlorian territory. Just chalk it up to the mysterious workings of the Force.


Hmm ... not really seeing the necessity of this. Again, though, it all depends on how you go about executing the idea.

“Okay, I’m goin’, takin’ off. See ya… bye….” — Chip Douglas

“This concludes our broadcast day. Click.” — Chip Douglas

Author
Time

Definitely some interesting ideas here. 

I will say it'll be tricky focusing on a character like Ben who's never brought up once in the original films except apparently with Kenobi doing a subtle tribute via his alias. Not saying it can't be done, but it sounds a bit difficult. 

The limited number of Jedi does seem to put Kenobi's comments about them being the guardians of peace and justice in a curious light. Don't get me wrong the excess amount of the Jedi in Lucas' prequels certainly diminished the concept as a whole, but it does strike me as odd that that there would be so little of them.

I await to see what the infertility of the Jedi means thematically and in terms of character, but at the moment it seems a bit unnecessary. Yoda and Kenobi didn't seem to have children, but that no more implies that Jedi can't have them due to biology than it does because of their beliefs.  

Author
Time

"Even Master Yoda doesn't have a sperm count that high..."

Author
Time

Vladius said:

"Even Master Yoda doesn't have a sperm count that high..."

Ew...

<span style=“font-weight: bold;”>The Most Handsomest Guy on OT.com</span>

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Post edited.

So just to clear up a few questions I have seen in previous posts...

- Ceres is quite beautiful. Not so young, though. She's slightly older than Anakin, who is his early thirties. You can say that Ceres has aged very well.

- I'm sticking to green, red, and blue for the lightsabers in this trilogy. Ceres has the red one that Vader uses in the OT. Obi-Wan has a blue one that he uses to fight Vader in ANH. For 2/3rds of the trilogy, Anakin uses the blue one that gets passed on to Luke. Ben makes a green one as a rite of passage at the Sanctum.

- The infertility of the Jedi is another trait that separates them from general society and makes them all the more special and otherworldly. And before anyone asks, you cannot create Force-sensitive clones (in this fanon). Force-users are a very rare and precious commodity, especially when they work in tandem. That's why it is such big news that Jeni and Anakin have created viable offspring in Episode II. 

 

 

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Instead of posting detailed chapters of the movie, I'll start with posting a broad overall summary of the film, divided into a handful of chunks. There is less detail in these chunks, but I think they will serve well in summarizing the movie in a succinct manner.

 


Rise of the Witch


The year is 24 BBY. War is imminent.

Many alien races have joined the League, a militant movement that seeks to overthrow the Republic. They want to do this because they think Humans wield too much control over the Republic, and by extension the galaxy. While there has been no open warfare yet, tensions are at an all-time high. Commerce in many sectors is at a standstill.

It is rumored that the League has been bolstering its numbers with clones of the best warriors of so many races. Cloning has been outlawed in the Republic. That is why Supreme Chancellor Antior has created a conscription system. A legion of millions, stoic guardians against the bloodthirsty alien hordes.

It is also said that the leader of the League is a corrupted Jedi Knight. Where once the Jedi Knights were merely heresay and folk tales, this revelation confirms that these mystical warriors are real. The galaxy grows suspicious of their sorceror's ways.

The Clone Wars are nigh.
-----
At a seedy bar in the lower levels of Coruscant, Ben (a half-Chiss spice smuggler captain) plays cards with a Duros thug. The gamble is risky. Ben has three thousand credits on the table and the thug has several kilos of spice. Ben unknowingly uses the Force to foretell his opponent's move and counters it with such precision that the thug calls cheating.
-----

The thug takes the money and spice off the table, draws a blaster, and slowly backs away from Ben. Just as Ben is about to pull out his own weapon, the Duros' weapon is telekinetically pulled out of his hand by a nearby Jedi Knight.
-----

The Knight, tall and with piercing dark-eyes, influences the thug's mind. "You will leave this place and never return." The frightened one obliges.
-----

Ben rushes over to the Knight, now beleaguered by the loss of his only bargaining chip, and asks him who he thinks he is letting the criminal run away with his money. The Knight introduces himself as Anakin Skywalker and tells Ben that he knows about his powers.
-----

Anakin tells Ben that he is destined to be more than a smuggler. His abilities have put him on the path to becoming a Jedi. Anakin explains what the Jedi and the Force are. He says that the Jedi live and train in a temple called the Sanctum, in a remote part of the galaxy.
-----

Ben won't hear it. He understands that Anakin wants him to train at the Sanctum. But he can't afford the trip. There are no smuggling jobs anymore. No-one wants to be caught in the crossfire of a star war against the Republic.
-----

Anakin replies that he can compensate Ben very generously. Ben finally acquiesces and agrees to go to the Sanctum, but only because Anakin is footing the bill.
-----

The two start towards a hangar bay where both of their ships are docked.
-----
Meanwhile, in high orbit above Coruscant, a League battlegroup jumps in from hyperspace.
On the bridge of the flagship, Fire of Exodus , we see Ceres, the half-Zygerrian dark Jedi. She is the leader of the League. A red-bladed lightsaber is strapped to her hip.

A Trandoshan bridge officer, Commander Hossk, tells her that all ships and clone gunships are in position for the operation. Ceres orders, "They may fire when ready."
-----
At the hangar bay, Ben introduces Anakin to his crew: Jeni Lars (Human female, co-captain and navigator), Orannu (Mon Calamari male, first mate), and Zero (droid, engineer; he communicates in a series of electronic-sounding tones rather than the Basic language). Anakin and Jeni make fast friends (for now, it will evolve into something more later).
-----
Suddenly the city is under attack by a fleet of League starships. The Republic navy sends its own frigates to defend against the barrage. Turbolaser bolts rain down from above, collapsing buildings and frying innocent victims in an instant. A group of Republic warships takes off from the planet’s surface.
-----
In the hangar, Anakin hands Ben fifteen thousand credits and a holocard containing the coordinates of the Sanctum. He sprints towards his own Jedi fighter after instructing Ben and his crew to make way for the Sanctum as quickly as they can. Anakin says the Force will be with them both.
-----
Both ships take off and weave their way past the Republic Navy patrols ordering all civil traffic to stay grounded. Jeni flies Ben’s ship along the side trench of a League cruiser, avoiding the majority of the fleet’s laser fire and fighter escorts. On its way to the edge of Coruscant’s gravity well, the freighter sustains a hit. Orannu and Zero go to the engine room and manage to fix it just in time to make a hasty jump into hyperspace.
-----
Anakin’s fighter confronts a squad of League interceptors and gunships. His attunement to the Force allows him to make short work of many enemy fighters singlehandedly. With a few precisely-timed bolts, Anakin destroys a missile ship that was about to launch a volley of projectiles at the capitol building.
-----

Republic destroyers target the Fire of Exodus. On the bridge of the Fire, Hossk receives word from a gunship captain that “the clones have made the extraction”. On hearing of this success, Hossk orders an immediate retreat of all ships into hyperspace. The Battle of Coruscant ends, but the Clone Wars have only just begun.

-----

Still in the cockpit of his fighter, Anakin is hailed via commlink by Stormtrooper officer Captain Kro. Kro tells Anakin that Admiral Palpatine requests his audience at the capitol. We cut to a scene of Anakin entering the Chancellor's quarters. Politicians and high-ranking military commanders are seated as Anakin makes his way in.
-----

Kro stands guard next to Palpatine. Palpatine tells the group that Supreme Chancellor Antior was captured by the League during the battle. Palpatine's position in the line of succession enables him to step up as Acting Supreme Chancellor of the Republic for the duration of the war. He promises to fight back against the League by any means necessary and recapture Antior alive. In the meantime, all non-Human members of the Republic will be placed under increased security. Conscription rates for the Fleet and Stormtrooper Corps will be increased. Palpatine confirms rumors that the League uses clone soldiers and that they are led by a Jedi named Ceres.
-----

All audience members are dismissed except for Anakin. Palpatine addresses him and notes that it is an honor to finally meet a Jedi Knight in the flesh. He says he needs Anakin to enlist the help of any other Jedi to help in the fight against the League. Anakin refuses, saying that the Jedi are an independent group of peacekeepers, not soldiers. He cannot guarantee their cooperation.

But Anakin vows to do everything in his power to track down Ceres and deal with her himself. Anakin has a personal score to settle with the Witch.
-----

 

to be continued...

Author
Time

It's already been done before, so why not?

“Okay, I’m goin’, takin’ off. See ya… bye….” — Chip Douglas

“This concludes our broadcast day. Click.” — Chip Douglas

Author
Time

TV's Frink said:

Must be some EU thing.

I think it maybe kinda grew out from the witch in Battle for Endor?

The blue elephant in the room.