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Revenge of the Sith (The New Canon Cut) [DRAFT AVAILABLE] — Page 17

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Not entirely sure how to incorporate the early deleted scene that goes over the same material as the scene just recreated in Shattered. I’ve already cut Mace’s “I sense a plot to destroy the Jedi” and I can stretch in my head that he would repeat “The dark side surrounds the chancellor” later and share similar sentiments as Mundi, but I’ll probably have to cut Yoda’s “Great care we must take…” and instead end the scene on Obi-Wan’s “Arrested…?”

But now the scene is so short, and it’s a shame to lose that beat with Yoda imo. I really don’t want to cut it entirely because I truly believe we need to establish the Jedi’s position on the chessboard as soon as possible, and Obi-Wan needs to be there for it, reacting alongside Anakin (and in similar ways!) instead of offscreen.

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In my ROTS/Siege of Mandalore edit, I’ve cut ‘the dark side of the force surrounds the chancellor’ from the War Room scene (I’m just using the ROTS footage until Ahsoka shows up… it’s a bit weird) and kept just that line in the earlier Jedi deleted scene, since it segues into Obi-Wan’s ‘shift in the force’ line. I then later cut from Obi-Wan’s “The proof will come when Grievous is gone.” to a closeup on Mace turning his head away from Obi-Wan to end that scene, irising out on his face AOTC-Sandpeople-style to the Jedi Temple establishing shot. You lose Yoda’s first “great care” but I think it keeps as much of the War Room scene intact as possible, while ensuring there’s enough material to have the Jedi’s early suspicion about Palpatine make sense; and ending the scene on Mace helps hint that he’ll be the one to confront Palpatine.

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Have you ever thought of editing the first paragraph of the opening crawl? Instead of the “heroes in both sides” thing that’s never really brought on in the film, the crawl could hint at the Outer Rim sieges, saying something along the lines of “For the last months, the Jedi have scattered their main forces across the Outer Rim”.

Regarding the handling of the briefing room scene, I was thinking of something. After Obi-Wan asks "Arrested? you could mute Yoda’s lines (only keep the music) while keeping the shot of Windu nodding to Obi-Wan, and cut right before Yoda (who himself does a nod-like gesture) says “Great care we must take…”. The previous Windu lines do not feel that redundant, specially the one that Mundi says later at the briefing, so they could be kept.

Also, this is a small question, but do you have a list/transcript of all the added-altered dialogue? I really want to make subtitles for the workprint version to watch it on May the 4th, but I’m having a difficult time deciphering some of the new lines, specifically the new Obi-Wan/Anakin and Padme/Anakin banter.

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I’ll get on writing them out, soon. I know I said I wouldn’t do this, but there’s a new workprint in the Google Drive folder with some additions, so when I do it’ll be for that.

Some Preview Clips

"General Skywalker"
There was very little contrast between Hayden as a padawan in AotC, and at the end of the war in the theatrical RotS. He seemed to exclusively follow Obi-Wan’s lead and was at the mercy of the council throughout the film. Meanwhile, Lanter’s General Skywalker was a bold and experienced Jedi general. This clips shows additions/edits that give Hayden that same authority and leadership skill. He gives commands, is addressed by his rank, and is more explicitly involved in military matters. He is treated as not just an adult, but respected as a war hero.

Anakin’s Personality + Relationship with Obi-Wan
Following up on Anakin as more of an adult, this clip demonstrates how Obi-Wan and Anakin’s relationship has evolved. Equal in rank and skill, they’re brothers on the same wavelength. In humor and action. Obi-Wan doesn’t treat Anakin like his subordinate/apprentice, nor does Anakin to Obi-Wan as a master and with formality. Anakin’s easygoing fun nature from the Clone Wars is supposed to be translated in Hayden here - more of the jock-like swashbuckler - and Obi-Wan responds to it with his appreciative wit, not exasperation. The banter is meant to service this from the novelisation:

“And Obi-Wan Kenobi knows, too, that to have lived his life without being Master to Anakin Skywalker would have left him a different man. A lesser man. Anakin has taught him so much (…) He smiles now, and sometimes even jokes, and has become known for the wisdom gentle humour can provide. Though he does not know it, his relationship with Anakin has molded him into the great Jedi Qui-Gon said he might someday be."

As the last real hurrah for the duo, maintaining camp and humor was fine for me, as a contrast to the later tragedy.

Second Act Kashyyk Kickoff + Luke’s Father Wanted Him To Have This, When He Was Old Enough
I’m using Hal’s LoE structure of politics before nightmares, as a way to establish that even an Anakin in an untroubled state of mind still has friction with the Jedi council. Because of that, Grevious’s entrance on Utapau can’t happen where it does in the theatrical - I’ve replaced it with the initial attack on Kashyyk (+Wookiees moving to call the Jedi). It kicks off the second act in a similarly bombastic way, and introduces that subplot a little more elegantly than a change of subject at the tail end of another scene.

That transitions into Padme and Anakin’s balcony scene. The scene on its own is cheesy and bad, but I hope with the added dialogue I mitigate most of it. When we come down to them, they’re in the middle of discussing whether to give their baby a lightsaber. Perhaps if they should be a Jedi or whatnot. (Callback to Ben Kenobi lines too!)

That actually segues pretty nicely into Padme saying she wants the baby on Naboo, but it also feels like a real conversation a real couple would have; Anakin and Padme hashing out the different things they want in their relationship and for their child, rather than just a vague and empty “we love love love”. It in turn also subtly sets up their later ideological conflict, in a way that doesn’t turn us against Anakin immediately. He’s just like his jock-y CW countepart here.

More than that, Anakin doesn’t seem to particularly want or care about the kid(s) in the theatrical, and with this, it’s more clear he absolutely does. He’s excited in his own masculine way, and that also lends itself nicely to how he feels things for Luke as Vader in the OT. He’s ecstatic about being a father, and I keep that thread consistent and noticeable throughout the edit, whereas it kind of fizzles out and seems forgotten (by Anakin) in most of the theatrical.

Siege of Mandalore Tie-Ins and Fixes
Here’s how I’m currently trying to handle the inclusion of the deleted scene where Obi-wan, Yoda, and Mace discuss their concerns about Palpatiine - a scene that can be replaced by a later scene in the film and recreated for TCW. This scene was important to maintain because it establishes where the Jedi are on the chessboard quite early on, and Obi-Wan being here for it is wonderful parallel progression with Anakin. He’s reacting alongside Anakin to the events of the film, rather than offscreen, and helps position their roles as main characters for coming cataclysm. Based on Knight of Kalee’s suggestion.

That leads into Anakin and Obi-Wan in the briefing room, where we actually get a mention of Ahsoka and what’s happening with her in SoM. Other edits in the scene are just subtle things to make Anakin and Obi-Wan more brotherly. Making the interaction less formal and actually having Anakin acknowledge when he’s being a little radical on his own, based on Obi-Wan’s expression. It also makes Anakin less blind and more pragmatic like TCW Aankin; he understands why the council distrusts Palpatine. Here he just has faith in, not blind loyalty for, Palpatine.

Appointment to the Council and Anger Management
Following up on that thread, these are more ways Anakin is not blindly loyal to Palpatine, and more mature and pragmatic.

Using deleted scene dialogue, Anakin relays the council’s concerns to Palpatine, and Palpatine responds by being more subtle about his manipulations. Rather than tell him the council needs him and Anakin just buying that entitlement, he just points out all Anakin has done for them in the past and leaves it at that.

Anakin handles the rejection better than he does in the theatrical. As opposed to lashing out for not getting what he wants, he feels the unconventionality of the situation and catches on to a plot they aren’t revealing to him. It’s less “How dare you do this to me” and more “Wait a second, what’s going on here.” He’s more upset at their dishonesty than what he feels he’s owed.

Subtle things to make him more CW-y: Obi-Wan gives him a head shake to calm him down, Mace doesn’t refer to him as “young,” and Yoda offers Anakin something to think about rather leave him cold. In line with all of their TCW relationships; Obi and Ani and communicate nonverbally, Mace and Anakin have a strained but equal relationship, and Yoda is nicer than Mace to Anakin.

Anakin and Padme’s scene has Anakin not lash out at Padme. He understands the council’s moves but Palpatine is his friend. He’s caught in the middle, rather than all-in on Palpatine at this point.

Not From A Jedi
At Delpheas’ suggestions, here’s how I’m reincorporating that scene where Anakin senses Obi-Wan’s been at Padme’s. Right after “Not From a Jedi.”

I initially didn’t keep it because I had the Padme deleted scenes where it is in the theatrical, and because Anakin came off as too sinister and the tone was too foreboding for how I wanted to depict his fall. I want Anakin to be cognizant and aware of his actions up until the end, and this scene almost single handedly undoes that. But there’s merit in how it discusses Obi-Wan reaching out, worried for his friend.

I discovered that placed after the opera scene and before (1) His friendly farewell with Obi-Wan and (2) His soft discussion with Padme about his dream (this has been moved from the beginning of the film to the middle), it doesn’t necessarily read as an unhinged Anakin’s descent, but a moment. And having normal, human moments afterwards shows that he doesn’t fall down a rabbit hole into Vader (which is what I don’t want.) I’ve edited the scene short obviously, ending with:

P: You expect too much of yourself…
A: Is that bad?

…Which isn’t like the theatrical, where he pretty much tells Padme he’s going to use the dark side. Now, he’s just opened himself up to his selfishness, which works well directly off of the opera scene. The dark side isn’t something he’s interested in yet, nor is it anything he ever really seeks in this edit, at least until the last second choice between Mace or his wife.

Obi-Wan reacts to Anakin’s Fall
I’ve always had an issue with how… nothing, Obi-Wan’s reaction to Anakin’s fall initially is.

I tried to mitigate some of that, with a few added lines/shots and distressed noises (from Ewan himself) that better show how much it shocks and hurts him.

Slightly more experimental clips currently on the workprint:
Palpatine Reveal (Palps is more subtle)
Grevious expecting Skywalker (Parallels Maul and Ahsoka)
Anakin is the father isn’t he? (Obi-Wan comforts Padme, wants to save father of her children)
Padme stands up to Anakin, Obi-Wan thinks there’s good in him (kept here for archival reasons)
Earlier, better version of above (Audio clip selection TBD, some VFX, Padme shot credit to snooker)


Anyway, feedback for all that would be helpful, although how it all works together is more important so hmu for a workprint!

Some thoughts on Siege of Mandalore so far in regards to my edit:

  • I know Delpheas hopes to use New Canon Cut for their combined edit with this finale, so check that out if you want to see that.
  • I like how much they refer to Anakin as “General Skywalker” in this last season, more than usual, almost as a way to mitigate how RotS doesn’t reference it, much like this edit.
  • I would have thought the overlap between RotS and the show would shift Lanter’s Anakin to be more like Hayden’s, but the show didn’t do that, and I think he fits with this edit’s interpretation even more than before.
  • Yoda calls Ahsoka “Padawan” still, so I feel validated about Obi-Wan in my edit referring to her as that as well.
  • Based on what Ahsoka hears, Anakin does say “What have I done?” As it is missing here, should I reinstate it? I feel like the scene works better without it - Anakin as less conflicted at this juncture and more selfish - but it’s there canonically or Clone Wars-wise, something Ahsoka hears. I was thinking I could get away with not using it since Lanter actually says that specific line in the episode, (so it could be like an inner thought) but idk. She hears the rest of the scene as it is in the edit.
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I love what you’ve done so much !

girl

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I like most of your changes. The 'General Skywalker’s are particularly excellent, as are the added Ewan noises when he sees the hologram. A few of the audio additions (esp. Padme’s balcony) feel a little crowded in but such is the nature of these things. Will you be releasing your edit with a 5.1 audio track so I can steal your audio changes more easily, or just stereo like the earlier verson?

Oh, and I can’t work out what Anakin says at the start of palpatinereveal.mp4.

Anakin makes the force choke sound with his mouth by taking a big gulp of air in preduel.mp4

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Digging most of the changes, I think some of the laughing and giggling between shots might be a little bit over-kill, so I think toning it down a bit would make it flow better, I also think some of the extra lines for Anakin feel a little out of place and kinda brake the flow of the scene, like when Anakin calmly says “I won’t lose you” just after choking his wife.
Other-wise great job.

Peace is a lie
There is only passion…

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I made some notes for your clips, hope they aren’t too long-winded!

General Skywalker

All of these are great! Not much to add.

Anakin & Obi-Wan Relationship

I think for any lines we hear when the camera isn’t next to the person speaking needs to have comm distortion. I noticed you did for some lines but not all of them.

I’m not sure if every additional line works, some things feel pretty squeezed in, but I like that you’re trying a lot of different stuff! I like quite a bit of it!

Kashyyyk + Balcony Scene

Dude, the lightsaber banter with Padmé, I never imagined it would be possible to make that ANH line relevant in ROTS, but someone finally figured something out.

I think I would suggest cutting out the end of the line, “-and not be pushed around.” That part of the line feels like it has an accent that Anakin doesn’t have. I also wonder if you could pitch it up very slightly, since it sound a little deeper than Hayden’s voice in ROTS. Maybe I’m wrong though.

I also would cut “I know you do”, it feels squeezed in an I think it takes focus off Padmé’s monologue a little.

Also, the Kashyyyk scene feels really loud, and then the balcony scene is really quite in comparison. I had to turn it up to hear what they were saying, and I went back 15 seconds and the explosions almost blew my ears out haha. I wonder if you turn up the dialogue more or the battle audio down a little.

Regarding the Kashyyyk scene, basically the Republic already has some troops there, but later they decide to send Yoda and another battalion to reinforce them, right? If you keep this, I would recommend removing the Wookiee subtitles. I feel like it is an unspoken rule that Wookiee’s are never subtitled (besides Han speaking their language in Solo.) Just feels weird to me, but that might just be me! I wonder if you could try a right to left wipe for the initial scene transition. Since that shot already has right to left movement, the transition might feel more natural.

Anakin’s Appointment

The lines/shots in the council scene work pretty good! Now Anakin listens to Obi-Wan and doesn’t blow up, definitely a little thing that adds to their friendship.

Sounding Like A Separatist Scene

I think it ends too quickly. I honestly would keep the rest of the scene, just so the transition doesn’t feel so abrupt. But I do like how Anakin just let out a big sigh. I felt that on a spiritual level. Haha.

Also, I wonder if you could very slightly pitch up “what’s the matter?” A lot of these outside lines sound a little deeper than Anakin’s typical voice.

Not from a Jedi

The line, “Is that bad?” I would suggest making Anakin reply more quickly, when we can’t see his mouth, and cut away before we see him start talking. It just doesn’t line up with his mouth movements enough and it is noticeable, and I think the line works better if it is a quick reply, rather than something Anakin thinks a lot about saying.

Obi-Wan’s Reaction to Vader

Did you add blood-curdling screams to the Vader hologram? I think that is too much, honestly. Maybe you could add the occasional death scream when Anakin kills a Jedi, but the screams are a too little freaky, in my opinion.

Mandalore Tie-Ins and Palpatine Reveal

Why the extra lines between Mace and Anakin? To create more tension between them? I do like it.

I don’t think cutting the conversation scene is the right move. People like how we can see the same conversation from two perspectives, and if you remove one perspective then you remove why people like it.

I think you could simply cut the conversation between Yoda, Obi-Wan and Mace so you don’t repeat lines. I wonder if you could just use the scene as how it is cut here minus Yoda’s last line like you already did (and swap the Mace CUs so he still nods in reply to Obi-Wan). I don’t think Mace and Ki-Adi both saying “He should be removed from office” feels like a repeat of the same line in this instance, especially with the first half added just to Ki-Adi’s line. It almost feels like during their first conversation, it is more political, but by the second conversation Mace is starting to suspect there might be something more sinister going on than just a corrupt politician trying to hold onto power.

In the next scene, I would cut the line, “I’m not the Jedi I should be.” You can see Anakin’s not spreading at that moment. I don’t think the line is necessary at this point anyway. I do like the new music, I think it helps remind us of how Anakin views Palpatine, as a wise, trusted mentor.

Mustafar

I know we’ve talked a lot about this before already, I’m sure you’re tired of it but I do share some more thoughts about it! 😅

Because a lot of talk about killing Anakin has been cut, and Obi-Wan not telling Padmé that Anakin has killed younglings, it feels a little out of left field for Padmé to suddenly lie about coming there to kill him for what he’s done. Yeah, Padmé probably can put two-and-two together about his crimes, but now Obi-Wan hasn’t even suggested killing Anakin to Padmé.

I wonder if you could have Obi-Wan say he saw a hologram of him “killing Jedi”. I did attempt this, but maybe someone can make it sound better than I did.

Here’s another idea: in the shot of Padmé slowly backing away, I wonder how it would look if you added a slight digital zoom, so the realization that is dawning on Padmé hits harder. By the end of that shot, and totally in the next shot of Padmé, Anakin is no longer in the frame with her. That physical separation can represent that emotional separation, which leads to Padmé making that claim.

The new line you added after Padmé falls doesn’t seem to fit. The “You weren’t there line” is still noticeable to me as well.

Other Thoughts

As far as the “What have I done?” line, if you’re going for the angle that this edit is meant to better line up with The Clone Wars, then I would say it should be kept.

Anyway, sorry for the long post. It’s looking great!

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I’d really love to take a look at the workprint to get a look at things in context. Having been an avid fan of Clone Wars I’m pretty familiar with the dynamics there that you’re trying to emulate/cross over.

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It looks like a lot of people have already given great feedback but I just wanted to say that I love how ambitious this edit is. Your ideas are pretty much uniformly great, and go a long way toward making these characters feel less wooden. I do still think the execution still needs work in a few of the clips you posted though. I’ll try to post more detailed thoughts at a later time but here are a few things that jumped out to me:

-The presence of Clone Troopers in the first Kashyyyk scene would imply that they are already receiving Jedi/Republic help, no? Unless the idea is that Yoda and his troops will supply additional reinforcements.

-I feel like some of the clips where you try squeeze in a bunch of extra lines during what was originally silence feel a little frantic. Similarly, when you try to construct entire sentences or conversations wholecloth it can sound a bit like a Star Wars character soundboard. I would try to be a bit more selective about employing these techniques.

-One thing that didn’t work for me in any of the clips was the color grade. I’m not exactly sure what you’re trying to accomplish with it, but the warm “instagram filter” look doesn’t really resemble any other Star Wars media, so I wouldn’t say it’s helping your goal of making the movie mesh well with The Clone Wars or the OT. Frankly, ROTS is probably the best looking prequel movie already, with natural colors and a clean digital look that complements the animation in Clone Wars well.

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Are you doing anything ambitious with the scene with Anakin’s fall, before and after Mace gets defenestrated? And what’s your plan for Order 66 or Anakin’s march on the Temple? Sorry if you’ve detailed these already. I’ve just always felt that that specific bit is where the movie always falls down for me.

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Absolutely love the work you’ve done so far! I’d echo the suggestions re: Kashyyyk-Anidala and Obi-Wan’s reaction. The volume of the battle is a little too loud in contrast with the baby-lightsaber talk. I’d personally suggest raising the volume of Anakin and Padme a little. The screams during Obi’s reaction are a little distracting - it was hard for me to really internalize his actual reaction, so I would suggest removing some of them.

(Also, how would I see a workprint/latest version? New to the forums so I’m not familiar with everything yet, lol)

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Yay! I’m glad you took my suggestion regarding the “Obi-Wan’s been here” scene. Haven’t watched the new version yet, but it seems to be playing well with the other previewers.

“Sense a plot”
I will agree with not cutting the rest of the Holocouncil, in fact because it is in Clone Wars I think is even more reason to keep it.

Rogue Leader’s suggestions for handling Mustafar and the Yoda/Mace/Kenobi scene are solid.

Based on the clips, I really like the Palpatine reveal. It’s solid.

Grevious expecting Skywalker is still really good.

I really really like “Anakin is the father isn’t he?” arrangement.

The suggestion earlier in this thread to have Obi-Wan say “I saw a security recording of him killing Jedi” is actually a really good one. It would help sell that Padme is considering the idea that Anakin is … gone.

No matter what, you absolutely have to keep Padme standing up to Anakin. It is vital. As is the reworking of the pre-fight dialogue.

Anyway, looking forward to the final version. This is my fave version of RotS to date. Great job.

P.s. I’m not a he 😉

PT: CoD/TAS/TCW/FotR(NCC)
OT: Reimagined/Revisited/…
ST: Starlight/Rekindled/Resurgence

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This is all looking great! I always had a feeling this was going to be my prefered Episode III fan-edit when finished, mostly because I love The Clone Wars and I’m always in for tiny bits of CW fanservice in the new canon.

I’m glad you took my suggestion about how to redo the Council deleted scene. I had in mind to restore the full briefing room scene later, though, to justify cutting Yoda’s last line which will be said at the hologram conference, like in the “Shattered” episode.

The Padmé/Anakin confrontation looks and sounds better than ever. The only pet peeve I have with it is Anakin’s casual “I won’t lose you Padmé” right after choking her. All other additions, like Obi-Wan’s “No!” flow very well with the rest of the scene.

And adding Anakin’s theme to the Anakin/Palpatine dialogue before the confession was the upgrade I never knew that scene needed. Even better considering it’s the version of Anakin’s theme associated to his tests and hardships (Child Anakin before the Council in TPM, and Anakin confessing his dreams about his dying mom to Padmé in AOTC). Now Palpatine’s dark side line feels much less gratuitous and more like a genuine mood killer. Bravo!

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Thanks everyone! Sorry about how I’m awful at posting - I’d much rather read and work than make updates but I’m glad it doesn’t go to waste when I do take time out and share. Different perspectives really help me figure out what to do next; I can go in circles with myself for days without it.

Narrowed down what’s definitely changing to these:

  • Leave out “I won’t lose you, Padme.” Was just trying that out.
  • Tone down some laughter/banter/extra lines. Although, it would be nice to have some specificity on which instances are too much.
  • Volume on Kashyyk and/or balcony scene
  • Tighten the editing on “Is that bad?”
  • Keep full war room scene
  • Leave out the freaky screams in the temple hologram

On the fence about:

  • Fully removing the scene with Mace/Yoda/Obi-Wan. The film works so much better for me with Obi-Wan alongside Anakin. The Clone Wars has thrown a wrench into that plan, I must say.
  • Leaning towards keeping original “Don’t lecture me Obi-Wan” because I can definitely see how “You weren’t there” doesn’t work seamlessly. But response has been 50/50, and I prefer what the latter says about Anakin versus the original line anyway. Going back and forth on this for a while. Would be easier if more people hated it.
  • Removing Wookiee subs. A common note I got earlier on was that cutting to Kashyyk there was a little confusing, especially since it moves pretty fast. The subtitles mitigated some of that confusion by explaining what we’re seeing, and I hadn’t gotten any notes on that particular thing since its inclusion a few revisions ago. Even if we don’t typically get Wookiee subs, it feels worth it for clarity?

Addressing specific points:

sade1212 said:
Will you be releasing your edit with a 5.1 audio track so I can steal your audio changes more easily, or just stereo like the earlier verson?

Oh, and I can’t work out what Anakin says at the start of palpatinereveal.mp4.

This is the plan atm, but it is more work. I have the first third of a previous version in 5.1 but that’s a while ago now.

Also he says “He’s already more of a man than most” in that clip. Again, it’s experimental - I just wanted to try it. Rogue was spot-on when saying I was trying to build more tension between Mace and Anakin here. But it’s not entirely necessary and it’s probably going. (It’s not even Sam Jackson)

Octorox said:
-One thing that didn’t work for me in any of the clips was the color grade. I’m not exactly sure what you’re trying to accomplish with it, but the warm “instagram filter” look doesn’t really resemble any other Star Wars media, so I wouldn’t say it’s helping your goal of making the movie mesh well with The Clone Wars or the OT. Frankly, ROTS is probably the best looking prequel movie already, with natural colors and a clean digital look that complements the animation in Clone Wars well.

Oh, I agree with you. It’s just stuff I’m trying out. I’ve been working on this on and off for a while so I can get pretty bored with the film; doing experiments like that keep me from falling asleep lmao. I don’t think I’ve had a consistent grade on this since Fall 2017.

That process is probably how I’ve been eternally putting off finalizing anything, since I’m always trying different things that may or may not work. But when I make a “discovery” that works, I get excited again. I do feel like I’m getting to the end, though. Once it starts becoming about pulling back, as it is now, then that’s how I know I’ve exhausted most of my creative thinking for this film. I don’t doubt there are more things one could do in service of my primary ambition for this edit, but I’ve reached my ceiling. Idk. Maybe it’s just all the COVID free time talking.

RogueLeader said:
I think I would suggest cutting out the end of the line, “-and not be pushed around.” That part of the line feels like it has an accent that Anakin doesn’t have. I also wonder if you could pitch it up very slightly, since it sound a little deeper than Hayden’s voice in ROTS. Maybe I’m wrong though.

I also would cut “I know you do”, it feels squeezed in an I think it takes focus off Padmé’s monologue a little.

As far as Hayden’s pitch, I did pitch some of these up already, actually. But I didn’t do it as much as I could have since I feel like his voice fluctuates a lot throughout the theatrical as it is. I felt that because the range was already so broad and varied, I could get away with stretching it a little more. Besides, the deeper vocals do a bit in connecting Hayden to Lanter more smoothly. This is still Hayden’s voice, but him averaging a little higher was how we got Mat Lucas as an impersonator for years.

I’ll tinker with removing “…and not be pushed around.”

sade1212 said:

Are you doing anything ambitious with the scene with Anakin’s fall, before and after Mace gets defenestrated? And what’s your plan for Order 66 or Anakin’s march on the Temple? Sorry if you’ve detailed these already. I’ve just always felt that that specific bit is where the movie always falls down for me.

I’m going to post a few clips in the next section of this post, which will include a clip of this. (Still WIP)

It’s not a huge overhaul or anything. Basically, I tried to reverse when the film depicts Anakin’s remorse. In the theatrical, the moment he cuts off Mace’s hand is kind of an impulsive move that he immediately regrets, (What have have I done?) and as the scene progresses he gives in to the dark side. By the end of two minutes: “Yeah, the Jedi will go after the Senate! What about the other Jedi spread across the galaxy? I’ll kill’em too master!”

My approach was making the moment he cuts off Mace’s hand as one he actually does on his own conscious accord. Instead of snap-igniting his saber, screaming NOO and doing it as almost an involuntary reaction - he purposefully closes his eyes, his saber ignites offscreen, and then he’s done it. And then only as the scene progresses, does he begin to show more of his regret. It’s that point it’s too late, not earlier. From there, he’s mostly quiet and he looks down in remorse as Palpatine says “Once more the sith will rule the galaxy…”

It was always weird, it does feel like Anakin could have pulled back after killing Mace if he really regretted it that much. So not demonstrating regret until after committing to Sidious (and killing Mace with the intent to do so) feels much more like the “too late” thing.

A real moment of selfishness, not “Idk what I just did but I guess I have no choice.”

I don’t think it’s too ambitious since it didn’t require too much work.


More Clips For Feedback:

First clip I ever posted of this edit (Updated) (Anakin’s Theme Rescore)
Anakin falls to the dark side (WIP)
Obi-Wan initially wants to help Anakin out of the lava after their duel
Earlier vers. of preduel.mp4 without “I won’t lose you”/tweaked “You weren’t there”

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Could you post this clip I keep hearing about with talk of Anakin’s child being given a lightsaber?

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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Hey, that’s pretty cool. Nice job!

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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 (Edited)

Tone down some laughter/banter/extra lines. Although, it would be nice to have some specificity on which instances are too much.

Oops my bad, So here’s the specific instances that I felt were a little too much, unnecessary, distracting or breaking flow.

-Obi Wan’s laugh when R2 hits the buzz droid.
-Anakin’s “you’re flying safe”
-Anakin’s “that’s why we’re here”.
-Anakin’s “I agree” after the elevator comment. Obi-wan’s “never an elevator…” line could use a raise in the volume.
-Very hard to understand what Anakin says after palpatines “I hope you know what you’re doing”
-Anakin’s calm “ready for this?” while they fall at 300 m/h
-“Wowowo” before the ray shields.
-The laughter when R2 arrives, undercuts the comedic punch of “see, no problem”.
-Anakin’s “go ahead buddy” to R2, It takes away from his surprise attack which is supposed to mirror the scene on Jabba’s place.
-Whatever Obi-wan says when catching his lightsaber from Grievous’ cloak.

One last nitpick, I agree about the colour correction looking a little like an instegram filter, I’d rather a more conservative approach.
Otherwise, I’m all in.

Peace is a lie
There is only passion…

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 (Edited)

I really love what you’ve done for the balcony scene banter. And I really like “stand up for himself and not be pushed around.”

The talk of pitching up Hayden’s added lines, and hearing Matt deliver one of the TE lines, has me really interested in hearing the whole movie with Hayden consistently pitched down.

As for “you weren’t there”, I think it is a much better line than “don’t lecture me Obi-wan” and given the context of TCW Anakin, it does flow seamlessly, the theatrical line is bad and feels out of place.

I love what you’re doing for Anakin’s Fall, decisive TCW Anakin absolutely would kill Mace and only regret it after he fully relises what that means. And I think it is absolutely cool not to include “What have I done”. Because Clone Wars had Matt say that line, Ahsoka hearing it could easily be seen as a result of their bond. And that’s how Fall of the Republic is gonna play it.

“Obi-Wan wants to Help”
Yes, please do that. It’s great and it makes it hurt even more.

“Friend’s Farewell”
This is great and heartbreaking. The music really helps sell that Obi-Wan is trying so hard to remain optimistic and cheerful around Anakin, and that he’s trying to reinforce who he knows Anakin to be. One of my favorite moments so far.

Kashyyyk.
I think the wookie subs work, and are necessary for the standalone version of RotS. It will be less of an issue in FotR since it will be the second time Kashyyyk appears and I have Ahsoka landing her troops happen right before this Kashyyyk scene.

I do think the audio is unnecessarily loud, but it is a battle scene and those almost always are.

Mace/Windu/Yoda:
I think you’re right, the scene is necessary. The version that is in the current export doesn’t feel too short imo, and does a lot to setup Obi-Wan’s concerns.

PT: CoD/TAS/TCW/FotR(NCC)
OT: Reimagined/Revisited/…
ST: Starlight/Rekindled/Resurgence

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 (Edited)

Delpheas said:

As for “you weren’t there”, I think it is a much better line than “don’t lecture me Obi-wan” and given the context of TCW Anakin, it does flow seamlessly, the theatrical line is bad and feels out of place.

To me, it’s not the content of the line, it’s the fact that the audio and sound of the delivery does not fit with scene or Anakin’s other dialogue. Not fit in the story sense, but in the technical sense.
Sure, it makes sense for him to say that in the new context NFB has created, but I don’t think it holds up technically.

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Jesus Christ, how are you pulling this new audio seemingly out of your ass to smooth out these scenes so well and make them more natural? These are so good!

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 (Edited)

Man, there’s some really cool stuff here.

The lightsaber talk on the balcony is insane.

Adding that apartment scene between the opera and Kashyyyk is perfect, as is its new last line.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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RogueLeader said:

Delpheas said:

As for “you weren’t there”, I think it is a much better line than “don’t lecture me Obi-wan” and given the context of TCW Anakin, it does flow seamlessly, the theatrical line is bad and feels out of place.

To me, it’s not the content of the line, it’s the fact that the audio and sound of the delivery does not fit with scene or Anakin’s other dialogue. Not fit in the story sense, but in the technical sense.
Sure, it makes sense for him to say that in the new context NFB has created, but I don’t think it holds up technically.

I get that to an extent, idk if just never seems technically bad to me. I’ll give it another listen, but the first time I heard I thought it felt really natural, it only felt out of place as I started paying more attention.

PT: CoD/TAS/TCW/FotR(NCC)
OT: Reimagined/Revisited/…
ST: Starlight/Rekindled/Resurgence