Glad to see you back on this! I really like your rationalize for your changes with Anakin.
I think that is an interesting way to play the scene. So would end Padmé and Obi-Wan’s conversation early so we don’t know if Padmé agrees to take Obi-Wan to Anakin or not?
There are a lot of cool ideas here, and obviously it is just a rough concept of what you’re playing with, but the blocking ends up all over the place because of rearranging the dialogue so much. I think this can be remedied a lot with some more cutting, though.
Some thoughts on your specific changes:
I would try and have Anakin cut Padmé off and see if it helps with the flow.
Padmé: Obi-Wan told me terrible things. That you turned to the dark side, that you-
Anakin: Obi-Wan is trying to turn you against me.
I think you should cut Anakin saying “I want more”, and just have the last line, “Only my new powers can do that” should play over the shot of Padmé backing up. I think it benefits continuity as well as the lines not meshing well.
I think to make the moment work of Padmé saying, “Because of what you’ve done, what you plan to do”, someone would need to rotoscope Padmé and change the background to match where is now standing, since she isn’t in front of the ramp anymore. I also think something has to be done to make the score changing feel more natural, since you can still hear a piece of the music repeat in order to make Padme’s extra dialogue fit.
Also, the “You weren’t there!” line doesn’t really work I don’t think. Neither does “It’s too late.” But I do think “Please, face up to what you’ve done.” line from Obi could actually work. I wonder if the line could be pitch shifted at all to try and match Ewan’s voice more. Maybe have Anakin reply with, “If you’re not with me…”
I think the “Us?” line could actually be cut too. I don’t think Anakin haste say anything to read what is on his face. We a volcano erupt the moment he realizes Obi-Wan knows their secret, then Padme confirms it.
I hope you don’t mind me digging into this scene a little bit. I think the idea of Padme standing up against Anakin is pretty brilliant, so I want to think of what would be the best way to approach it.
This is still an early thought, but I’m not sure if Anakin’s dialogue being more focused on his drive to save Padmé, and Padmé admitting to Anakin that he brought Obi-Wan to potentially kill him, meshes well together. I think Padmé, being more politically focused, would be more willing to stop Anakin if he were directly threatening the Republic rather than stating his desire for ambiguous power.
But the way it is now, he mentions overthrowing the Emperor, but for the purpose of protecting them. Anakin is clearly more focused on getting power in order to save Padmé, and Anakin saying he wants more power comes off as pretty vague. I think Padmé would see that Anakin has gone too far, but would be more sympathetic if she felt his intentions were to save her. In that case her reaction in the film would seem a bit more understandable.
It just makes more sense that as soon as Anakin starts talking about taking over the galaxy and destroying the democracy Padme fought so hard for, that would be Padmé’s moment of realization that Anakin has to be stopped. The way the scene plays out in the theatrical film already goes this direction. At the beginning when Anakin is trying to reason with her that his actions are necessary in order to save her, Padme tries to bargain with him. But once Anakin has had a taste of the dark side, you see that deeper desires are coming to the surface. Maybe Anakin never had a desire to rule the galaxy, but maybe he thinks Padme would want that. Regardless, there is a clear escalation in the conversation from power over life to power over all life. When Padme realizes his ambitions are growing beyond just cheating death, that is when she realizes he has changed.
As she slowly backs away from Anakin once he starts talking about ruling the galaxy, you can see it in her face. She sees that Anakin really did help Palpatine overthrow the Jedi and turn the Republic into the Empire. And he wants to rule it. By stating this, Anakin has directly threatened democracy and the Republic. So for Padme, it becomes a choice between Anakin or the Republic, which is compelling because those are her two primary motivations throughout these films. But in the end, she stands by her convictions and chooses the Republic, and Anakin kills her for it. This would be a more fitting way to end her character, I think. Standing in the face of tyranny, even when it is the man you love.
But, if Anakin is still cognizant of what he’s doing, rationalizing his dark quest for power as a way to pay for Padme’s life, I think Padmé would see this and be more reluctant to kill him, thinking she can still talk him out of this. But I think this version feels more like this, which makes Padme admitting to bringing Obi-Wan to kill him feel rather drastic.
I’ve always felt that once Anakin starts feeding off the dark side by murdering the Jedi and the Seperatist leaders, it starts changing him. It’s like a drug, he gets a taste and wants more power. “This makes me feel so powerful. Why stop at saving Padmé? I can fix the galaxy…”
So all the changes you make leading up to this, and even during his “dark baptism”, make total sense. That is still Anakin. The more dark deeds he does, I feel like it is logical that he becomes more like Darth Vader. So by the time we get to this scene, we should see what the effect the dark side is having on him.
Sorry for going on this tangent, but I think this is a really cool idea and I would love to see it implemented, but I’m just trying to pick it apart and see if this is the most effective way to change the scene. Putting it briefly, my argument is that I think there are two routes this scene could take.
- The conversation is more in-line with the theatrical, but ends with Padme standing up to Anakin.
- The conversation sticks with your version, but Padme tries to reason with Anakin until the end.
I would love to hear your thoughts if you disagree, or if others do. This is just the way I’ve seen it, and having watched this film so many times might be biasing me.
I have some additional thoughts on how Padmé role could be improved throughout, and some little ways the film could tie in with The Clone Wars more, but I could share those later if you’re interested. I also think I know how the scene with Obi-Wan and Padme can be changed to fit this new direction for Padme’s character, but I can mention that later.