Yeah! someone actually used my idea WOO! made me grin :) thank you!
I think it works pretty well, and the editing looks seamless
The Surfer Dude Fed's voice is also better - I'm not thinking about his daft accent as the next scene starts... and he does have eyes... oops - i need mine cleaned!
Im looking forward to seeing the final movie edit! you should keep all the utube clips and add them as extras if you ever make a DVD version :)
You can never go home again, but i guess you can shop there.
Thanks for taking my dream of turning Surfer Dude Fed into an internet meme phenomena one step closer to realisation :-D
He does sound so much better now.
The Padme/Anakin scene sounds so much better too, it feels like it should have always have been that way.
Just came across this topic. Your cuts are all spot on. Well done!
Ok, I have a lot of critique and what-not on these clips that I will post in the near future. In the meantime, I just had a really quick suggestion I don't want to forget. In the latest version of the Dooku execution, Palpatine talks to Anakin to sooth his doubts in his actions, but his tone of voice doesn't seem to fit since it's been mere seconds, not enough time for him to be able to notice Anakin's discomfort. I suggest the following:
Anakin kills Dooku. The shot of him looking confused.
"He was an unarmed prisoner. I shouldn't have done that-"
(Palpatine cuts him off) "You did well, Anakin. He was too dangerous to be kept alive."
"It's not the Jedi way."
"It is only natural..." and so on.
i thought the music when Grievous walks out of his shuttle was a bit much.
i'm digging everything else. especially the TIE sounds. great work
and Lucas's little dance is hilarious.
oooooh and i suggest adding more distortion to the voices when they are talking to the clone pilots. in the Death Star battle in ANH voices were at times so distorted they sounded unrecognizable.
I've got to disagree with you regarding the music when Grievous exits his shuttle. I loved the change in tone.
Thanks all for your kind words and your good ideas ! I will see what I can do.
Here is the part 5 : Anakin's dream
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yRzR59nyj0
No major change here (exepted the massive cut of the romantic sequence).
Vader's mask and breathing added at the end of the dream...and new music (which brings intensity). I particularly love this part, it expresses very well all the story of Vader...and the "Williams eighties spirit"
Vader's mask descending coupled with the sound of the breathing is masterful. Really fantastic. I wonder if you could add more Vaderish dream prognostication...? But! As it is...great!!
OK, here's my thing-by-thing critique. Note that I'm basing solely on the clips from your edit, not any of the before-and-after stuff:
Clip 1: Space Battle FX
- As I said before, you can't understand Obi-Wan AT ALL when he says "Well have you noticed the shields are still up?". He also replies way too quickly to Anakin saying the ship is ahead.
Clip 2: Landing and Grievous Voice
- Obi-Wan is still too hard to understand and replies too quick.
- Obi-Wan gets out of his ship way too fast. The cut at 1:56 is way too abrupt and non-matching.
- The music at the end of the landing fight/beginning of Grievous doesn't really fit.
- I like the new voice, but it isn't all that drastically different.
- Too long a pause before Grievous says "Skywalker".
- The "Destroyers" scene now has even less of a point.
- Due to the cut dialogue, the cuts between the shots of R2 and the Battle Droids are way too fast.
-Seeing the elevator speeding along, and then suddenly have it stopped to open its doors happens way too fast.
Clip 3: Duel With Dooku and Escape
- The cuts between bowing to Palpatine, turning to face Dooku, and the shot of Dooku are too fast and jumpy.
- How'd Dooku get down the stairs so fast?
- I really, really love how the duel cuts between the battle now. It makes the duel feel more Star-Wars-like.
- The music at 4:09 doesn't work, too out-of-the-blue.
- The cuts of the two ships battling work well. Though seeing Grievous suddenly flying from outside the bridge is too fast, it had barely been established the bridge was hit.
- Why is the Jedi Starfighter flying bouncing around the hangar so much?
- The choir ending on Grievous' landing on the ship works well, as does the cut into Dooku. I think if you establish the choir's music earlier in the two ships fighitng instead of having it burst out of no where in the middle of the sequence is all that needs to be done to make the music work here.
- Hearing the Force Push isn't enough to establish why Obi-Wan is flying.
- I like the new cutting with the battle droids and Obi-Wan.
- Anakin suddenly flying into a wall looks too random.
- Grievous being in the pod back to the duel is a way too quick cut.
- The cuts from Obi-Wan being thrown to Anakin kicking Dooku are way too disjointed-feeling.
- The cut at about 5:17 is disjointed, Anakin and Dooku change where they are completely.
- Good new music and cutting from then up to Dooku's be-handing.
- No complaints about new Dooku death.
- Using Vader's Death during Anakin's remorse is something I just don't like at all. For one, such an important piece of music being used in such a small moment makes the piece less important. Also, we should not hear the Imperial March in full so soon.
- Why the hangar so destroyed? The ship hasn't gone through that much shifting in your edit, so there's no reason for things to be so thrown around. The cuts of R2 flying out of the pike and going to the port are also too disjointed.
- Anakin raising his head to look at Palpatine while tending to Obi-Wan should not be cut right in the middle of the motion.
- The escape from the ship is a bit fast, but not too bad.
Clip 4: Padme's Revelation/Grievous Speaks to Sidious
- Anakin and Obi-Wan's conversation goes a bit quick.
- Again with the Vader's Death music?! It still doesn't work for the reasons stated before.
- I like the new music for Grievous' arrival.
- As others have said, the chorus suddenly bursting in is too abrupt.
- The cut away from Sidious on the word "apprentice" is way too quick and abrupt.
Clip 5: The Death of Dooku V2
- Not bad, I just still have the same critique about the Vader's Death music. I also suggested how I think the scene could also work earlier in the thread.
Clip 6: Surfer Dude Fed Voice Test
- The new voice is pretty good.
- Still too long a pause before "Skywalker".
Clip 7: Anakin's Dream
- Not sure what the flashback to the wedding is supposed to be... kinda random, and seeing as how there's never flashbacks in Star Wars, it sticks out... a lot.
- I REALLY like Vader in the dream.
- AGAIN with the Vader's Death music. Even if I didn't feel how I did about the use of a full Imperial March and the importance of the piece, by now I would say it's overused anyways.
That's all.
everything is great the way you've done it. The balcony/dream sequence is really well done.
so looking forward to this - you've gotta add Vader talking to himself and reminising (spelling!) about Padme after the end credits. that would just be soo cool after such a serious (sort of) movie.
You can never go home again, but i guess you can shop there.
rpvee said:
OK, here's my thing-by-thing critique.
Clip 1: Space Battle FX
- As I said before, you can't understand Obi-Wan AT ALL when he says "Well have you noticed the shields are still up?". He also replies way too quickly to Anakin saying the ship is ahead.
In my edit Obi-wan just say " Have you noticed the shields " - "are still up" is totally useless (and bad acting IMO, that's why I cut it)
when Anakin says "Grievous ship is ahead" it's just a kind of "brace yourself ! "...Obi-wan is not a jerk, he perfectly sees the ship ! so he is not really replies to Anakin
Clip 2: Landing and Grievous Voice
- Obi-Wan gets out of his ship way too fast. The cut at 1:56 is way too abrupt and non-matching.
Yes I will correct this
- The music at the end of the landing fight/beginning of Grievous doesn't really fit.
I like it ! much more mysterious than the "Grievous theme"
- I like the new voice, but it isn't all that drastically different.
I just wanted to delete the "stupid side" of this voice - Now I don't want to die each time I listen to it. To have a completly new voice, I need a new actor.
But Grievous has a small role in my cut
- Too long a pause before Grievous says "Skywalker".
I am not sure. Grievous thinks : "as Dooku has predicted" and say : Skywalker ! - We may even feel Grievous anxiety in this little pause, which makes Skywalker more dangerous.
- The "Destroyers" scene now has even less of a point.
Yes
- Due to the cut dialogue, the cuts between the shots of R2 and the Battle Droids are way too fast.
I think it works fine. A quick clip showing R2 hidding, no need to add more
-Seeing the elevator speeding along, and then suddenly have it stopped to open its doors happens way too fast.
In a cut, all the sequences do not systematically occur in real time - it's a very common cutting process.
Keep in mind that many things may "hurt" you because you are used to the original cut.
Clip 3: Duel With Dooku and Escape
- The cuts between bowing to Palpatine, turning to face Dooku, and the shot of Dooku are too fast and jumpy.
a little
- How'd Dooku get down the stairs so fast?
Like he does in the original cut, with a stupid jump ! but we don't see it, that's all.
- I really, really love how the duel cuts between the battle now. It makes the duel feel more Star-Wars-like.
Glad you like it ! and it give the feeling of a longer lightsaber duel
- The music at 4:09 doesn't work, too out-of-the-blue.
You're absolutely right, it is not necessary, that was just a test
- The cuts of the two ships battling work well. Though seeing Grievous suddenly flying from outside the bridge is too fast, it had barely been established the bridge was hit.
a little too fast but it works ! it's a very dynamic cut that give the sensation of a strong explosion
- Why is the Jedi Starfighter flying bouncing around the hangar so much?
(yes a little too much)
It's just to enhance the feeling that the ship is badly hit
- The choir ending on Grievous' landing on the ship works well, as does the cut into Dooku. I think if you establish the choir's music earlier in the two ships fighitng instead of having it burst out of no where in the middle of the sequence is all that needs to be done to make the music work here.
Yes it's true. But I din't find a quick way to do that. I have to work on it
- Anakin suddenly flying into a wall looks too random.
It's the price to pay to remove the kick...I can't stand this
- Grievous being in the pod back to the duel is a way too quick cut.
really difficult to extend it (I don't like : "time to abandon ship...")
- The cuts from Obi-Wan being thrown to Anakin kicking Dooku are way too disjointed-feeling.
Yes, I have corrected this last week
- The cut at about 5:17 is disjointed, Anakin and Dooku change where they are completely.
Yes...but seeing the Dooku CGI face makes me want to vomit.
- Good new music and cutting from then up to Dooku's be-handing.
Thanks, I worked hard on it
- Using Vader's Death during Anakin's remorse is something I just don't like at all. For one, such an important piece of music being used in such a small moment makes the piece less important. Also, we should not hear the Imperial March in full so soon.
Don't think about it (I know it's hard) like Darth Vader's death. Take it for what it is (I mean musically). And I think it's a really important moment : another step to the dark side. I like the idea of the fall and the redemption musically related in this way, with this music.
- Why the hangar so destroyed? The ship hasn't gone through that much shifting in your edit, so there's no reason for things to be so thrown around.
remember your question : "Why is the Jedi Starfighter flying bouncing around the hangar so much?"
and much of the battle occurs during the lightsaber duel...it is not necessary to show everything
-The cuts of R2 flying out of the pike and going to the port are also too disjointed.
As I already said : all the sequences do not systematically occur in real time - it's a very very common cutting process
- The escape from the ship is a bit fast, but not too bad.
I did what I could with what I had ; )
Clip 4: Padme's Revelation/Grievous Speaks to Sidious
- Anakin and Obi-Wan's conversation goes a bit quick.
Yes, I fixed it few days ago. Adding : "Ninth time" from Obi-wan, and it works very well.
- Again with the Vader's Death music?! It still doesn't work for the reasons stated before.
OMG I love this edit !
- The cut away from Sidious on the word "apprentice" is way too quick and abrupt.
Yes ! it's corrected
Clip 7: Anakin's Dream
- Not sure what the flashback to the wedding is supposed to be... kinda random, and seeing as how there's never flashbacks in Star Wars, it sticks out... a lot.
It's just here to make a transition between balcony sequence and dream, but you're right it's not really good. I thought yesterday to cut it.
- I REALLY like Vader in the dream.
Thanks !
- AGAIN with the Vader's Death music. Even if I didn't feel how I did about the use of a full Imperial March and the importance of the piece, by now I would say it's overused anyways.
I never use the same passage of Vader's Death and I think it really works on this sequence
Thanks for your time !
The Concierge said:
Vader's mask descending coupled with the sound of the breathing is masterful. Really fantastic. I wonder if you could add more Vaderish dream prognostication...? But! As it is...great!!
Thank you !
What do u mean by "Vaderish dream prognostication ?"
cutnshut said:
everything is great the way you've done it. The balcony/dream sequence is really well done.
so looking forward to this - you've gotta add Vader talking to himself and reminising (spelling!) about Padme after the end credits. that would just be soo cool after such a serious (sort of) movie.
Thanks again !
Yes It can be funny : )
The Cutter said:
Yes It can be funny : )
ooh! wasnt expecting that - Cool, put em all in the movie!
You can never go home again, but i guess you can shop there.
Oh, just that I like adding the element of Anakin glimpsing his future self in his dreams, and I wonder if it could be expanded...isn't there another dream sequence? Maybe there. For example Anakin with Sith eyes, or slaughtering the separatist leaders, choking Padme, etc.
Going even further...I've mentioned this before somewhere around here, if he could see himself doing these things in his visions without being able to make out it is actually he himself, thinking rather it's some other Jedi...it could help foster his distrust with the Jedi Council.
Good idea, Concierge. He could see a vision of a hand choking Padme, but not know it's his.
He has another dream/vision when visiting Padme's apartment, when he says "Obi Wan's been here, hasn't he."
Cutter, your bits with Vader sitting in his pod with the Anakin dialog are hilarious.
You know of the rebellion against the Empire?
Oh he knows Anakin's discomfort....all too well! its the very thing he has been playing on all along...
You can never go home again, but i guess you can shop there.
You have some great ideas, thecutter. But I agree with most of rpvee's post: I too think most of your work is a little too jumpy and I think that's because you cut out the stuff you don't think work, but don't concern yourself with the actual flow of the scene.
And maybe this is not the right place for this, but you keep criticizing or parodying Anakin's (admittedly mostly awful) lines by saying they aren't Vader enough, but I'd like to point out that Anakin hasn't always been Vader. Had he been, there would've been no fun in seeing the transformation. I agree something should be done about most of his dialogue, but cutting stuff like his glee during the spacebattle seems a little pointless to me.
SilverKey said:
And maybe this is not the right place for this, but you keep criticizing or parodying Anakin's (admittedly mostly awful) lines by saying they aren't Vader enough, but I'd like to point out that Anakin hasn't always been Vader.
do not misunderstand me Silverkey : I don't cut Anakin's lines because they aren't Vader enough...but just because they aren't Anakin enough - Anakin is not a jerk, a DJ or a surfer...and be a good person doesn't mean be silly.
Anakin's behavior is too close to our times. This is for me the most important mistake.
I use Vader to parodying Anakin just to show the difference of atmosphere, not because I want te see Anakin be evil every time.
I would have loved to see Anakin have moments of joy with Padme, deep feeling...and a great friendship with Obi-wan (and not : yes master, yes master, sorry master...all the time) but it's so badly done...The love story of Anakin and Padme should be an old school love story, not "Santa barabara" : )
I will respond to other posts tomorow !
Premonitions of Vader is a good idea. The first Clone Wars series, (not the CGI one) had Anakin experience a pretty disturbing vision of his future.
Where were you in '77?
That's cool, the cutter! Glad you're thinking it through like that. Doesn't matter if I agree with it or not, it's always interesting to see some alternate takes on the material :)
Yes no problem ! : )
Here is a video I have posted on another youtube account a few months ago.
Silverkey, with this you will perfectly understand my point :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKtuWpreKDU
another dedicated to Obi-wan :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqBMJq1NT6I
HAHHAHAHHA! that obi wan clip was awesome!!!
Thanks for the weekend laugh!
Hadoken ;)
-Angel
Haha I love the "HADOUKEN!"
Edit: N'awww Angel beat me to it.