Sign In

Rejected Prequel Titles

Author
Time

So, I'm stealing these from 1997ish RASSM:
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc/browse_thread/thread/d59eceef886e5dc5/612d343c52e57e7f?hl=en#612d343c52e57e7f

http://groups.google.com/group/rec.arts.sf.starwars.misc/browse_thread/thread/32dd4442cfae3ac0/2362f8e59f1cb1d3?hl=en&lnk=gst&q=#2362f8e59f1cb1d3

But they're pretty funny.  See if you can make some new ones:

Peter Altschuler wrote:

> Episode I - The Very Very Beginning
> Episode II - The Middle of the Very Beginning
> Episode III - The End of the Very Beginning

> Comments?

VERY Catchy.  I like them.

 

Previously, Elson Trinidad <el...@westworld.com> just happened to
mention:

 

>They will be titled as such:

>Episode I : An Oldest Hope
>Episode II: An Older Hope
>Episode III: An Old Hope

>Now, when we get to Episode IV, the title makes so much sense...

Well it makes more sense if they were:

Episode I   : A hope
Episode II  : The same hope
Episode III : That same hope once again

Episode IV  : A new hope!!

 

Inertia,
-=< Anyone wanna guess what 7,8 and 9 are going to be?  That hope returns? >=-

 

No,no,no its going to be:

Star Wars 1
Star Wars 2
Star Wars with a vengance

 

Twin Ion Engine <twin...@imperial.navy.squadron> wrote in article
<5g5c6c$...@tofu.alt.net>...

 

> How about :-

> Episode 1 : No Hope
> Episode 2 : The Empire Strikes Up
> Episode 3 : Exit of the Jedi

Episode 1: Star War
Episode 2: Star Wars
Episode 3: Star War^3

Bas-Jan

 

 

On Tue, 18 Feb 1997, Matt Jones wrote:
> Christopher T. Ivicevich wrote:

> > What do you think of "Crusaders of the Force" as a possible title for
> > Episode I? I have seen this on a couple of web sites.

> I want something not so blunt.  Like "A New Hope"

Ah, no.  This is the first episode of the *prequels*.  

How about "No Hope" or "the End of Hope"

Or "A Brief Loss of Hope"

Or "Only Ben and Yoda Know that There is Still Hope"

Just a few suggestions...

Meg

 

 

Look, the names of the Star Wars Prequels are:-

Episode 1: Land Wars
Episode 2: The Rebels Strike Back
Episode 3: Return of the Dark Jedi

OK?

 

> And now, here's my candidate for the titles of the new trilogy...

> Episode 1:  "In The Beginning", "The Clone Wars", "Genesis Of A Star Saga"
> or "Genesis Of The Force"
> Episode 2:  "The Seeds Sown", "Genesis Of Evil" or "Enter The Dark Lord"
> Episode 3:  "Fall Of The Republic", "Rise Of The Empire" or "Collapse Of
> The Jedi"

> Those are GOOD titles.  Anybody have better titles?  Let me know.

These are not good titles. "In the Beginning" sounds an awful lot like
Genesis 1:1. The Clone Wars is redundant: Star Wars: The Clone Wars.
Genesis of a Star Saga sounds like a soap opera and is more appropriate
for a prequel to Independence Day. Genesis of the Force is inaccurate,
as the Force is an ancient religion, not conjured up 40 years before
ANH. The Seeds Sown=As the World Turns. Genesis of Evil: as if evil
began 40 years before ANH. Enter the Dark Lord sounds like a stage
direction. Fall of the Republic has been circulating for 15 years. I
doubt Lucas would use this title made up by John Flynn. Rise of the
Empire is not too bad, but Empire was used in Episode 5 and I doubt
Lucas would confuse the public with similar titles. Collapse of the Jedi
is incredibly stupid. They did not collapse, they were exterminated! The
title makes them sound as if they were a bunch of doddering old fools
with one foot in the grave.

Respectfully,
Chris

 

>I wouldn't mind something as bland as "The Old Republic".

I agree with you.  We don't need any 'crusaders' or 'balance' or
'genesis' in the prequel titles.

Here's What I'd like to see

Episode one:  Fall of the Republic

Episode two:  The Clone Wars

Episode three:  Luke and Liea's wacky, wild escape from the big, bad
Dark Jedi ;^)

 

> Okay, so who are all the sad twonks who think that their title is the
> best.  This is how it ought to be:
> Episode 1 :   Anakin Vs The Volcano
> Episode 2 :   Things to do in Degobah when you're Dead
> Episode 3 :   What's Eating Greedo Grape?

1 - Ben and Anakin's Excellent Adventures
2 - Lars Attacks!
3 - Night of the living Jedi

 

Episode 1 : The Jedi Who Walked Up A Hill And Fell Into A Volcano
Episode 2 : Fast Times In Dagobah High
Episode 3 : Don't Be A Menace To The Good Side While Drinking Your
Juice In The Hood

 

 

etc...

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

 

Author
Time
 (Edited)

I approve of this thread.  Lots of lolz in the OP.

EP1: Star Wars ft. Ric Olie
EP2: Star Wars: What Happened to Ric?
EP3: Star Wars: Seriously, Where Did Ric Go?

Author
Time

A working Title for Episode II was i kid you not, Jar Jar's Big Adventure.

That is far worse than the Beginning.  I like the working title for II far better the Clone Wars.  Or the Working title for III, Fall of the Republic.  Obviously neither used because they are far to obvious as was the beginning. Though phantom Menace is pretty horrible.  Might as well be called the Phantom Plot, CGI disgrace called a star wars movie.


Attack of the Clones also a horrendously bad title.  revenge of the Sith is okay because its like Revenge of the Jedi.

“Always loved Vader’s wordless self sacrifice. Another shitty, clueless, revision like Greedo and young Anakin’s ghost. What a fucking shame.” -Simon Pegg.

Author
Time

Episode I : Something Gungan This Way Comes

Episode II: Regarding Obi

Episode III: Saving Anikan's Privates

 

"The other versions will disappear. Even the 35 million tapes of Star Wars out there won’t last more than 30 or 40 years. A hundred years from now, the only version of the movie that anyone will remember will be the DVD version [of the Special Edition], and you’ll be able to project it on a 20’ by 40’ screen with perfect quality. I think it’s the director’s prerogative, not the studio’s to go back and reinvent a movie." - George Lucas

<span> </span>

Author
Time

skyjedi2005 said:

A working Title for Episode II was i kid you not, Jar Jar's Big Adventure.

That is far worse than the Beginning.  I like the working title for II far better the Clone Wars.  Or the Working title for III, Fall of the Republic.  Obviously neither used because they are far to obvious as was the beginning. Though phantom Menace is pretty horrible.  Might as well be called the Phantom Plot, CGI disgrace called a star wars movie.


Attack of the Clones also a horrendously bad title.  revenge of the Sith is okay because its like Revenge of the Jedi.

That's not what this thread is about, but I know you already know that and just don't care.

Author
Time

Star Wars I: Gungans in the mist.

Star Wars II: Both sides story.

Star Wars III: Meet the fucker.

Author
Time

Bingowings said:

Sydney Lumsden said :

Language Timothy!

The rules don't allow "excessive profanity."  Which implies that occasional profanity is a-o-fucking-kay. ;-)

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Episode I: This Is A Movie That Will Have Sequels, Which Are Movies That Follow The Story Set Up By The First Movie, And Since It Is The First Movie, It Gets The Number I.

Episode II: There Will Be Clones And They Will Attack, But That's All I Can Really Tell You, Except That The Clones Will Attack With Laser Guns And Rockets, Which Are Sometimes Called Missiles.

Episode III: The Sith Get Revenge, Which Is A Dish Best Served Cold, Which Is Usually Accomplished By Putting The Dish In A Refrigerator For A Few Hours.

Author
Time

TMBTM said:

Star Wars III: Meet the fucker.

LOL

Episode I - Yippee!

Episode II - Raiders of the Lost Plot

Episode III - You Know What's Gonna Happen

And in the time of greatest despair, there shall come a savior, and he shall be known as the Son of the Suns.

Author
Time

Episode 1: Exposition Wars

 

Episode 2: Stuck in 2nd

 

Episode 3: The Last Beginning

Author
Time

Episode I - Nascar in Space

Episode II - Wanna Buy Some Deathsticks?

Epsiode III - Robots that Cough

Author
Time

Episode 1: Now THIS is Podracing!
Episode 2: I hate sand
Episode 3: The High Ground

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

 

Author
Time

Star Wars Episode 1: The Search for More Money
Star Wars Episode 2: The Search for More Money pt 2
Star Wars Episode 3: The Search for More Money pt 3

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

 

Author
Time

twister111 said:

Star Wars: The Search For Plot

I misread this as The Search For Pot.

Author
Time

Star Wars Episode 1: The Disposable Sith
Star Wars Episode 2: The Slave Liberation (and Other Forgotten Promises)
Star Wars Episode 3: Cramming the Set Up for the OT in the Last Five Minutes 

Author
Time

doubleofive said:

Episode 1: Look, It's Luke's Dad!
Episode 2: Look, It's Boba Fett!
Episode 3: Look, It's Chewbacca!

/thread

Author
Time

Episode I: Jar Jar Gets Kicked In The Balls

Episode II: Jar Jar Is A Senator

Episode III: Jar Jar Has A Sad

 

I think these sum up the prequels quite nicely.

Author
Time

Sorry about da messy, poopa!

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!