Sign In

Random PT ideas — Page 2

Author
Time

I’ve mentioned before on this site about having a PT where Owen Lars would act as the main character, an ex-Jedi or at least someone with weak Force potential who went through the Clone Wars and the rise of the Empire with Beru, his estranged brother Obi-Wan, and the young Anakin (allowing to hide the potential spoilers of the OT as Anakin’s fate is left in the air). Episode 1 would take place during the Clone Wars, as Owen reunites with Obi-Wan, who would try to recruit his brother into the war, going as far as giving Owen a lightsaber. I more or less gave up on it because (other than unable to fully write a single scene) it didn’t really feel right for Owen to be given such a huge role (maybe for a smaller story, but not for a story that should be on a galaxy-wide scale like a PT story should).

Nonetheless, I did take a look at what I had. After looking at few words of prose and dialogue I actually wrote, I decided to at least complete this one scene that would be the end of the episode 1. With that said, here’s that scene.


Almost in reverence, Owen slowly lowered the hilt that Obi-Wan gave him. He turned his eyes away for a moment, just to grab a huge rock lying off to the side. Holding the rock, Owen paused to look back at it. The lightsaber was still on the sand, the setting suns gleaming off the thin frame. It was a rod of elegancy and myth as he had heard and seen many times before.
With that image in mind, Owen slammed the rock on the saber.

The hilt jostled a bit before it rested again. The rock only did enough to scratch the thing. So, Owen slammed the rock again.

And again.

And again!

And again!

And AGAIN!

At last, the rock broke the gray hilt in a loud metallic crack! A soft light sparked before smoke rose from the damaged circuits. The smoke fizzled and soon died with the hilt’s power source, now shattered in several pieces that were left in the exposed wires.

Owen tossed the rock aside, huffing from the effort. “Never again,” he whispered before he turned around.

Moments later, the Star Sayer lifted off and hurled debris and sand over the remains of a broken lightsaber.

"Adventure, excitement. A Jedi craves not these things!"

- Yoda

W.S.

Author
Time

Welp, it’s been a while since I’ve been here, but I hope to get back into things. Anyway, one idea I’ve had for the past couple of years is to have Owen and Beru as my PT’s C-3PO and R2-D2 (respectively). In SW77, they already appear to know Anakin and Obi-Wan pretty well, so I think it would make sense the two would act as the bickering young couple who get wrapped in the adventures of our heroes. The opening scene in one PT version would entail Owen and Beru trying to get to Coruscant, where they would visit Anakin, leading to this scene…


“We’re lost,” Owen grumbled lowly as he stared at the vast crowd of aliens and humans in front of him.

Standing beside him against the wall, his fiance, a petite woman, shook her head. “We’re not lost. We just need to figure out what level we’re at,” she said, trying to peer over a bulbous head. “I think they have a number somewhere around here…”

Owen would have crossed his arms if he was not carrying luggage in his each. As much as he loved Beru Whitesun for her optimism, there were times it was too unrealistic and downright frustrating. The pair were supposed to be on their way to Coruscant, when their shuttle had a slight “leaky engine,” dropping them and everyone else aboard at Axis Station, nearby the Mid Rim’s Craston Nebula.

As Owen expected, it was a run-of-the-mill orbital station; centuries old, crowded, and its facilities less than up to sanitary standards. Being from Tatooine, it wasn’t that bad, and Owen and Beru’s ragged desert clothes made them blend in well with the crowd.

The problem was that they were stuck in this blasted when they needed to get on another shuttle, and they had no idea where it was. Not to mention their shuttle passes. Owen hoped the ones they bought worked, otherwise he would be having words that Toydarian merchant. He paid good money for those passes, and blast anyone if he was ripped off!

After sometime, Beru said, “I see it! Level seventy-one. We can probably take an elevator and maybe we can-”

“Beru,” Owen said again, “we’re lost.”

Beru stared at him. Her blue eyes lost their brilliance as she conceded. “Alright, what do we do?”

“Go to the desk, find out when’s the next shuttle. Then, we wait.”

“That’s it?”

“Well, it’s not like we’re going to know when the next shuttle is-”

Before he could finish, the loudspeakers chimed and a droid’s voice blared, “Attention! Attention! The last shuttle for Coruscant will be leaving in thirty minutes, station time. The last shuttle for Coruscant will be leaving in thirty minutes at docking…”

Beru reacted before Owen could even hear the full thing. “Come on!” she called out as she was already in the move.

“Beru, wait!” Owen called out, and he rushed after her, saying “excuse me” and “pardon me” to nearby aliens as he tried to keep up.

He managed to squeeze himself into the elevator Beru entered a moment before. The fishy smell was the first thing Owen noticed, since the elevator had been filled with the aquatic Selkath from Manaan. Not an awful smell, but he didn’t want to be in there for very long. “Did you catch that last bit?” Owen asked as he squeezed himself in.

“Docking bay ninety,” Beru answered. How she heard that over the crowd, Owen had no clue.

It wasn’t long before the elevator doors open to their floor. The two humans came out first, just as the loudspeakers chimed again with the same announcement, and Beru eyed the closest docking bay door. “Ninety… must be this way!” she called over her shoulder, and she ran off again.

Owen begrudgingly followed Beru down the hall. He chased after her, until she stopped a second later. “What is it?” Owen asked.

Beru slowly glanced back at him and hesitantly admitted, “We… might be lost.”

"Adventure, excitement. A Jedi craves not these things!"

- Yoda

W.S.

Author
Time

wut

I can no longer call myself a Star Wars fan. I’m sick of the same played-out aesthetics/tropes being remixed/regurgitated time-&-time again; I’m sick of the deteriorating characterization/worldbuilding which have been in play since 1983; I’m sick of the toxic fanboys from all ideological camps; I’m sick of the capitalist pigs who refuse to allow this IP into the public domain where it rightly belongs. So while I may still admire the first two films for their technical achievements and characters, I’m no longer capable of enjoying Star Wars in any capacity due to the reasons delineated above.

Author
Time

Wannabe Scholar said:

Hey guys. Down below was an epilogue I wrote for an Ep 1 rewrite I had planned. This rewrite was more focused on trying to fit with the Disney canon (mainly TCW and Rebels, but not excluding some of the comics), shifting some details here and there. This version has a cast of characters including a teenaged Anakin Skywalker, a younger and more brash Obi-Wan Kenobi, and an original character, Kara Lok (who in some drafts was going to be Kara Qel-Droma), who was a combination of Han’s cynicism and Leia’s devotion to her own cause. While I did have an epilogue ready, I never got around to writing the rest of the story (strange, isn’t it?) because I get on getting conflicted of the story’s details (e.g. when it takes place, what happens exactly, should it really fit with Disney canon, etc.).

Down below is that epilogue. Let me know what you guys think. Probably not that good, but I’d like to know. Thanks.

XXXXX

Anakin could feel the still air in the Council Chamber. He had rarely seen it since he came to the Temple, but he knew it enough to recognize the ornate, circular patterns on the floor, and the twelve chairs of the council seated on the edge. However, the darkness permeated everywhere, save for the center of the chamber.

Anakin gazed at the Jedi Masters standing in a circle. Their blades were lit and held in salute in a ring of colorful light. It was unlike anything Anakin had seen, and he was tempted to join them.

“Keep still,” he heard Windu, who stood in the circle.

Relaxing his grip on his unlit saber, Anakin did as he was told and remained outside of the circle of Jedi Masters. That did not stop him from peaking in the spaces between, and he saw the grandmaster’s seat. Right in front of it knelt Obi-Wan. Anakin was surprised how serene the Jedi’s expression was, especially at such an occasion like this.

Across from Obi-Wan, Master Yoda held in his hand his old lightsaber, used for ceremonial purposes. The small green blade lit up in the darkness, and the ancient master spoke while the saber passed over Obi-Wan’s head.

“By the right of the council… By the will of the Force… Dub thee I do, Jedi…”

Fascinated, Anakin watched the blade hover by Obi-Wan’s braid before Yoda sliced it off in one motion.

“… Knight of the Republic,” Yoda finished.

The blinds peeled away, and natural sunlight flooded into the room. The Jedi Masters extinguished their lightsabers and went over to congratulate Obi-Wan, who stood and scooped up his severed braid in hand. Anakin would have gone first, but the taller Masters kept blocking his way and congratulated Obi-Wan with a “Well done,” or a pat on the back.

At last, Obi-Wan came through the crowd. The Masters fell silent and their gazes on Anakin, who noticed. He managed to clear his throat and smiled at the newly knighted Obi-Wan. “You made it,” Anakin said. “Congrats!”

“Put so eloquently,” Obi-Wan gave a faux wry smile, which turned genuine. “Thank you.”

Anakin continued to grin until Windu spoke, drawing both the young men’s attention to him. “Kenobi, now that you are a knight you will have more duties than before. What happened on Alderaan has left the Senate troubled. They will need the Jedi now more than ever.”

“But for now,” Yoda interjected with a kind smile. “Cherish this moment you must. Today, a good day this is. Risen to the rank of knight you have.”

“… and with a new addition to our order,” said Master Fisto, who turned to the young teenager.

Obi-Wan put a hand on Anakin’s shoulder. “I will train him, as Qui-Gon would have wanted,” he told the Masters.

Anakin gave a small smile. Hearing of Qui-Gon did hurt, but he knew the kind master would not want him to dwell on it. He would make him, and Obi-Wan, proud.

“Much work there is, Obi-Wan,” Yoda continued. “For you and your new Padawan. Best to you both, I wish for.”

“May the Force be with you,” Windu said.

Nodding, Obi-Wan and Anakin turned and made their way to the elevator. The door closed behind them, and the new Knight let himself relax his posture. “I can’t believe it actually happened,” he said.

“Neither can I,” Anakin added as he relaxed.

Obi-Wan gave the teen a poignant glare. “But you didn’t do anything.”

“I was there for moral support.”

Obi-Wan shook his head and was silent for a few moments. “Well, I believe we’ve had enough excitement. We should just enjoy the day.”

“As long as nothing else weird happens,” Anakin agreed.

The elevator door slid open. Both Jedi were surprised to see someone, not another Jedi, waiting by the elevator. That someone clicked her boots and saluted them. “Specialist Kara Lok, reporting for duty, master Jedi,” she announced.

Anakin and Obi-Wan just stared at the woman in front of them. They almost failed to recognize her with the gray military uniform and combed hair. At last, Anakin said, “Never mind, I stand corrected.”

“At ease,” Obi-Wan said, as he left the elevator with Anakin. He looked up and down at the new Kara. “‘Specialist Lok,’ now… What is the occasion?”

Kara lowered her hand. “After the Alderaan incident, I was given a promotion…”

“I see.”

“… and I have been assigned to work with you, Knight Kenobi.”

“Ah, you noticed.” Obi-Wan gently brushed the stub of hair where his braid used to be.

“I did. Congratulations, by the way.”

“Thank you.”

Anakin finally broke his silence and said, “Alright, who are you and what have you done with Kara?”

“Still haven’t changed,” Kara rolled her eyes, showing a bit of her old self. “Basically, the Senate’s up in arms with star systems leaving. They want military personnel to work close with the Jedi to make sure certain worlds stay with the Republic. They also want the military to look professional while doing so. Hence, the new look.”

After a moment of taking in this new information, Obi-Wan asked, “And I take it, there’s a mission for us already?”

“We have a meeting with Senator Ibis on Corellia.”

Hearing that name, Anakin’s eyes widen with recognition. “Corellia, isn’t that a world full of starship?”

“And full of veteran pilots,” Kara added with a small smile, knowing full well the Jedi were ready to accept her offer. “I’ll have the Star Hopper ready for departure. We can leave as soon as you’re ready.”

With that, Kara made her leave, Obi-Wan shortly followed. He stopped and looked to the young boy still waiting behind. “Are you coming, apprentice?” Obi-Wan called out with a smile.

“Yes, master,” Anakin returned, following Obi-Wan and Kara down the halls of the Jedi Temple while containing the joy inside of him.

Master Yoda was right. Today was a good day.

Sounds interesting would love to hear more about Kara. Would she have been Luke and Leia’s mother in your draft?

Author
Time

livecraig1 said:

Sounds interesting would love to hear more about Kara. Would she have been Luke and Leia’s mother in your draft?

Kara wouldn’t have been Luke and Leia’s mom. That would still be Padme, who would serve a smaller role appear in Part 2 of the trilogy. I thought about going this route because it allows Kara to be her own character, and it steers away from the idea of having like main male and female characters (at least those in the main trio) hook up with each other.

"Adventure, excitement. A Jedi craves not these things!"

- Yoda

W.S.

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Welp, I’m back at this again, dropping off another random PT rewrite idea. This idea is a more recent one that I thought would be interesting to discuss: the pre-PT Clone Wars.

We all know how the plot of the actual prequels played out and how it contradicted how the Clone Wars had been pre-PT material. So what if we kept the plot of the SW prequels as is, but changed the setting so it follows more of the pre-CW material from the 90s and before (specifically the Clonemasters, Spaarti cylinders, mad Jedi clones, Owen being Obi-Wan’s brother, etc.)? Following off that idea, I had an idea to make Obi-Wan the main character of the story. Stuff like Anakin being a Chosen One (not THE CHOSEN ONE in the films, keep in mind) can still exist, but it may require a lot of tweaking around.


Episode 1: The Phantom Menace (32 BBY)

Changes:

  • Instead of the Trade Federation blockading Naboo for trade disputes, it could be the Clonemasters, enemies of the Old Republic, invading a neutral Naboo to gain its cloning resources to remedy their clone madness problem (an issue from the Thrawn Trilogy that had a clone go insane after some time).

  • Obi-Wan would be like Luke from ESB, a commander with experience yet still optimistic and idealistic. He serves Bail Organa, alongside General Qui-Gon Jinn, and the two are working to bring Naboo to the Republic’s side when they learn what the Clonemasters are doing. After rescuing the queen and her counselors, Obi-Wan would take the crew to his old home on Tatooine, where he would be forced to meet his estranged brother Owen (whom he abandoned to join the war) as well as a teenaged Anakin.

  • Qui-Gon recognizes Anakin for his power and believes him to be the Chosen One, which puts pressure on the young man. Obi-Wan, not caring about that, begins a friendship with Anakin.

  • Padme would relegated to a counselor who wishes to join the Republic and bring stability to her world. She is very wide-eyed idealistic, contrast to Anakin’s more gruff and almost cynical view on life.

  • Maul in this story could easily be one of many cloned Jedi who is on the verge of madness. The real Maul would serve in Palpatine’s place, which can excuse TPM Maul being sliced in half (as he’s just a clone).

Episode 2: Attack of the Clones (22 BBY)

Changes:

  • The Clone Wars would be over years before this story, but we see the galaxy is still trying to heal as well as deal with remnants of the Clonemasters. These remnants have joined a small group who wishes to leave the Republic due to corruption in the Senate and apathy for those still suffering in the Outer Rim. Dooku can or cannot appear in this (if he does appear, I’d make him more of a secret agent working for the Jedi).

  • Obi-Wan, former general of Bail Organa, trains a more matured Anakin Skywalker. After the two of them had fought in the Clone Wars, they have gone on several missions to war-torn worlds and have seen much devastation caused by the Clonemasters. For Obi-Wan, seeing the same death he saw on Naboo has him believe that Maul or some clones of Maul still exist out there and he tries to hunt them down following a failed assassination attempt on Padme. His search would have him learn about Maul working with the splinter group and believing that they need to be stopped.

  • Anakin, though trained in the Jedi arts, still has his cynicism after seeing the inefficiencies of the Republic and Senate, and he is swayed to Palpatine’s influence because of this. Palpatine’s influence is what allows Anakin to become close to Padme, as Anakin is sent to guard her from assassins following a failed attempt (and if possible, we could have Anakin face off another Maul clone). Anakin is also a bit of a hardened veteran who finds his light in Padme, who is more cautious of politics in the Republic. In this version, the Jedi are allowed to marry and have kids.

  • All of this would head to a confrontation of Jedi vs clones, only to be saved by a new forces of Republic shock troopers who were made in secret.

  • Following the crisis of corruption, the Jedi install a trustworthy person (Mon Mothma?) as head of the Republic. Though the Jedi are honest and loyal, they and their candidate are easily booed by the corrupt Senators who try to bring about the downfall of this person.

Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith (19 BBY)

Changes:

  • The Jedi are hunting down the final remnants of the Clonemasters. This can be shown at the beginning as some people are illegally transporting Clonemaster tech, and the Jedi try to crack down on it, only for their accomplishments to be taken by the growing military of the Republic.

  • Also, the splinter group is still a threat to the Republic, so Palpatine has been manipulating the military to send shock troopers to eliminate key threats to his plans. If Dooku is this story and is still a secret Jedi agent leaking info to the Jedi about the splinter group working with Maul, then Palpatine could have Anakin kill Dooku to eliminate the chance of his secrets getting out.

  • As Palpatine is growing in power, the Jedi suspect him as the perpetrator behind the Clone Wars (especially with more evidence that they have been recovering over the past few years). Thus, they try to oust him and remove him from power, but their plans are undone as the people have been turned against them.

  • For Anakin, he has married Padme but there is not words of a baby yet. Padme would revealed to have been pregnant by the end of the story.

  • Maul could serve in Grievous’ position, minus dying in the midpoint of the story.

  • For the final duel, Obi-Wan would find himself not only fighting Maul, but a corrupted Anakin, in a three-way duel atop a volcanic installation. Maul would die, and Anakin would be left behind, as Obi-Wan can’t bring himself to kill his old friend.


And that’s it. Again, these idea are very bare and will require a lot of tweaking around, but I do you have find it a bit interesting. Take care.

"Adventure, excitement. A Jedi craves not these things!"

- Yoda

W.S.

Author
Time

Sounds cool! I like the idea of Maul having so many clones, they keep dying but they keep coming back.


SparkySywer and I are working on a “canon rewrite” called “Death of the Author”, where we revamp everything to save the OT. You can join the discord here: https://discord.gg/nr9ckpd. Anyway, I’ll talk a bit with what we’ve come up with.

We came to the realization that ANH sets up two conflicts: The Clone War, and the Fall of the Republic. We think this is too messy for a PT rewrite. You have to set up an entire Clone Wars conflict, and then conclude it in time for the Fall of the Republic. In your rewrite, for instance, you have Maul going up against Obi-Wan and Anakin in a three-way duel. This is because you’ve built up the Clonemasters and Maul as a serious villain. Or take Lucas’s version, where the Clone Wars is barely utilized and throws off the story by introducing random antagonists.

Our solution is the Republic loses the Clone Wars, kickstarting the Empire. This solves a ton of issues, as the Clone Wars and Fall of the Republic become one, and not through some Rube-Goldberg conspiracy by Palpatine. Here is our rough draft for the trilogy:

Episode I: The Clone War
-Based on the Seven Samurai, as ANH is on the Hidden Fortress.
-The Sith Empire has invaded the Republic with the help of a Clone Army. Having taken Coruscant off-screen, they are now going around the galaxy ransacking planets.
-Alderaan is a neutral world but is surprised attacked by the Empire nonetheless.
-This alerts Jedi Master Rahm Kota, who, desperate for heroics, recruits his old comrades for a “suicide mission”. The Jedi include reluctant pessimist Mace Windu, young idealist Obi-Wan, warriors Kit Fisto, and Aayla Secura, and psychic Shaak Ti.
-While rescuing Secura from an Imperial transport, Obi-Wan meets Anakin, who shows he has the force and asks to be a Jedi. Obi-Wan accepts, despite disapproval from the other Jedi.
-Padme is the commander of the Alderaan resistance who dislikes the Jedi for only helping them not that the Sith are involved. However, she bonds with Anakin who is not tied to the Jedi Dogma.
-Together the Jedi and Alderaan Resistance win a massive three-phased battle against the Empire, with Kota sacrificing himself to kill Maul.

Episode II: The Rise of Vader
-Despite some victories like Alderaan, the Republic is losing the war. They hold a massive space battle with the Empire and lose.
-Shaak Ti is injured, and tells the three surviving Jedi, Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Mace, that they must kill her in front of the Empire to trick the Sith into believing they have turned to darkness. That is the only way they can live. They must then infiltrate the Empire: a la Jon Snow with the Wildings.
-The three Jedi learn the ways of the dark side, parallelling Yoda’s training in ESB.
-Eventually, they graduate and head to Coruscant, where we learn the internal workings of the Empire are a disaster. Emperor Revan conquered the Republic because he is a warrior, not a leader. The sickly Palpatine warns Revan the Empire is going to collapse, but he will not listen.
-Palpatine befriends Anakin, and eventually, the two become friends. When Anakin learns Mace is betraying both sides to the criminal underworld, Palpatine suggests Anakin dawn a mask - Vader - and confront him. He does.
-Now developing a split personality between Anakin and Vader, he agrees to “save” the Empire and leads a coup against Revan. Palpatine is installed as Emperor. Obi-Wan is horrified, but the two friends do not fight. Obi-Wan walks away.

Episode III: The Dark Times
-Ten years after Episode II, Anakin is married to Padme with a newborn child. He is happy. But at night, he dons the mask of Vader and becomes a terror among those opposing the New Galactic Oder. Vader is slowly consuming Anakin, and the only thing keep him sane is his family.
-One day Padme learns of Vader. Horrified, she calls an old friend - Obi-Wan - and gives him Baby Luke. Anakin accidently kills Padme in his rage.
-Obi-Wan is now on the run across the Empire with Baby Luke, while an unhinged Vader is on his tail. This film has far fewer stakes than the ones before it. The Empire or Resistance doesn’t really care about Baby Luke, only Obi-Wan and Anakin.
-The fighting concludes with Obi-Wan and Anakin fighting to the death.

You can find a larger outline for Ep 1 here:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/15TjeKjW1V5MW7lY-G-5Lb_4KWS-qBiBM0KHT8hFPbxY/edit?usp=sharing

Maul- A Star Wars Story