I agree that replacing that line “you have his power” would be helpful for the scene since it does still somewhat refers to a connection between her and palps since it specifies “his” power.
EDIT: rewatching it, the line “have his power” may still work. If you are using Hal’s base, the beginning of the movie has changed where Palps tells Kylo about HIS end game … get struck down and him and other Sith pass on to the “striker.” So sure, that line and knowledge Kylo has makes sense.
So because of that logic, it can work. I guess the only minor issue with that … is now Rey has knowledge that if she strikes down Palps, she “gets” his power. I don’t think she should have that knowledge, or thinking, when she confronts palps. Though we the audience knows his “plans,” Rey should go in blind without any of that part information.
Granted that is somewhat minor, but I admit after watching it again and I am assuming this will use Hal’s edit as a base with the change in the beginning, it can work. But it kind of takes away the “surprise” for Rey at the end.