When You Are a Movie/TV Character...

You use a Mac.

You don't say goodbye on the phone.

Your tyres squeal on dirt roads.

You don't lock your car.

You never finish a cigarette.

You have extremely poor night vision.

You are safe from gunfire behind any kind of cover.

You can destroy the data on a computer by smashing the monitor.

You will break a necklace when removing it from a person or corpse rather than use the clasp.

If you wake up in a hospital or laboratory, you will immediately pull out any drips, electrodes or implants that may be keeping you alive.

You will stop and stare for at least 3 seconds at the hideous creature or natural disaster that is about to kill you before reacting to the danger.

You will try to outrun a falling object directly in line with its trajectory rather than moving to the side.

You rarely if ever need to use the bathroom.

You rarely pay cab fare, but the drivers don't seem to mind.

If you turn on the TV to watch a specific news item, it will have just started.

Feel free to add to the list.

Rogue-theX said:

You can:

Not listen to the audience`s persistent warnings.

LOL.

I know this, if playing a Cop as a character....

You can wreak all kinds of havoc on society and be regarded as a good cop.

You can shoot any car at the gas tank and blow it up, immensely, with a big explosion.

You only have to answer to one supervisor, usually a Captain, but never anyone else....like a Chief or the City Council.

You can actually "Commandeer" vehicles.

Any of the many laws you violated to make one bust will be gratefully ignored in the end, regardless of just how guilty you are. (i.e. The Negotiator)

Your vest, or badge, will save you every time you're fired upon.

The legal system works extremely fast.

Everything can be fixed with a suspension.

There is no such thing as the ACLU.

You're always in the very best physical shape to the point that you can run 3 miles and still fight a bad guy for 20 minutes straight, no matter how much you drink, or how badly you eat. (usually shown eating a hot dog on the street, drinking nothing but whiskey when getting home, and still overcoming that bad guy who worked out everyday of his 20 year sentence)

You ALWAYS have a screwed up personal life. (divorced, alcoholic, estranged kids, etc.)

You're badge can get you in ANYWHERE.

Your gun has a unlimited amount of bullets.

No matter where you work, you're the only non-corrupt cop.

You can beat criminals in a fully video-taped interrogation room and it's no big deal.

Every-time you arrest someone, you read them their Miranda Rights.

Great stuff ferris. That's two lists longer than mine already!

Don't forget that you're always getting a new partner you don't like and who doesn't trust you because your last partner was killed under questionable circumstances.

Your cellphone always works unless it is an emergency.

Your phone number starts with 555.

You lose your tan during the off-season even though you are still stuck on the island.

You hold the higher moral ground because your refuse to let a (somewhat) innocent character die in order to defeat an overpowering enemy who will kill millions more innocents now that they've been allowed to survive.

You always end up winning in hand to hand combat with an enemy who could have shot you from a distance, but prefers to enjoy every moment of killing you with bare hands.

One or two good punches from you cause the same amount of damage to your opponent as his lengthy, ongoing beating, despite the fact that he is in far better shape than you.

You never have to worry about pregnancy or STDs in spite of the fact that you and your partner are as loyal and monogamous as dogs in the streets.

If you serve in the military, you and all your good brothers-in-arms seem to share the political views of Hollywood studio elites in spite of the fact that most military personnel seem to vote the other way.

Your superior officers are always willing to sacrifice countless innocent lives and historical/cultural objects in exchange for economic benefit (i.e. James Cameron's [insert any title here]).

Your hair and makeup are always perfect after a full night's sleep, even if you're a man.

We never can see your hands and face simultaneously when you play the piano.

You may get beaten to a pulp, but your second or third wind will allow you to take out your opponent with a couple of good hits.

Germans are always evil Nazis or brilliant scientists.

You can dodge a bullet, even after it's already been fired.

If you live in a small town, you can bet you're on the bad side of the local ecclesiastical leader.

If you're black, you can make as many disparaging comments about whites, Asians, or whichever race you like, because it sounds funny in Ebonics.

You can drive better in reverse than most people going forward.

You are more attractive than about 95% of the human race.

darth_ender said:

We never can see your hands and face simultaneously when you play the piano.

Or shuffle cards.

You will never give the most logical explanation to clear up a misunderstanding.

You can ride a horse. But if not, it will only take you two minutes to become The Man from Snowy River.

You instinctively turn brand logos away from whoever you are talking to but lately have a strange compulsion to do the opposite.

Your latest doodad looks strangely similar to an iPhone.

You'll go into a restaurant to order food you won't even take a bite from.

WORST.  MOVIE.  EVER.

DuracellEnergizer said:

You'll go into a restaurant to order food you won't even take a bite from.

Yes! Was just coming to post something about taunting hungry audiences with delicious food they don't have at home and then not eating it.

This thread reminds me of The Evil Overlord List...

You often leave helpful weapons behind.

You may throw your gun away for no good reason.

You may leave the money behind for no good reason.

You do a sub-standard job of wiping your prints from anything.

You don't bother to wear gloves in the first place.

You make little to no effort to disguise yourself when wanted by authorities.

Land mines or explosions make you do a somersault.

In.....slow.........motion.......

If you think there is an intruder in your house, your cat will jump out from an unexpected place and scare the shit out of you.

If it's your turn to keep watch you will fall asleep.

If you call your pet, something will have just eaten it.

The back of your fridge is transparent.