Warbler said:
Ferris, I've got a question. We arrived on the island via a crashed plane correct? How'd you get your guns past the metal detectors? Airport security takes a dim few of people trying brings guns onto airplanes.
What is this, the Politics thread? Just grab some popcorn or internet and enjoy the ride.
Warbler said:
Ferris, I've got a question. We arrived on the island via a crashed plane correct? How'd you get your guns past the metal detectors? Airport security takes a dim few of people trying brings guns onto airplanes.
Someone took a dim few of me once... it kind of sucked. But, airlines don't dim few on all folks with guns. Maybe Ferris is an air marshal? Not to mention there is always your checked luggage. There are probably more guns on the planes you have been on than you'd ever realized.
Om my goodness! This poor Fink guy, he has lost so much blood he is looking yellow, and now he is rambling on about politics threads, and he is still on about the internet and popcorn. Poor guy, must not have had much of a life back in the real world if that is all he can think about now as he lies bleeding out on the sand. If only I could figure out where Ferris has stashed all his guns, I'd consider putting the poor bastard out of his misery... but only because it is such a dire situation. Guns are really, really, evil.
"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape
I've edited my previous post. Yeah, I suppose Ferris could be an air marshal or he had them in the luggage compartment beneath the pane. good point. Sorry to hijack your thread, Frink.
We will be alright. Look who I just jumped out of a plane with.
Now we can go home.
"The other versions will disappear. Even the 35 million tapes of Star Wars out there won’t last more than 30 or 40 years. A hundred years from now, the only version of the movie that anyone will remember will be the DVD version [of the Special Edition], and you’ll be able to project it on a 20’ by 40’ screen with perfect quality. I think it’s the director’s prerogative, not the studio’s to go back and reinvent a movie." - George Lucas
<span> </span>
Warb, don't apologize to Fink for thread hijacking! That is like apologizing to an expert bank robber for stealing his wallet-- DUDE! A cloud of smoke just zipped out of the forest and sucked up Indiana Jones, Ranger Walker, and that other guy, spitting them back out as shredded fleshy messes in the tree branched above us!
"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape
C3PX said:
Someone took a dim few of me once... it kind of sucked. But, airlines don't dim few on all folks with guns.
Is Dim Few an Olympic skater?
Warbler said:
Sorry to hijack your thread, Frink.
Er, what? This is VFP's thread. I wouldn't even be here if I wasn't so lost.
CP3S said:
Warb, don't apologize to Fink for thread hijacking! That is like apologizing to an expert bank robber for stealing his wallet--
Thanks?
C3PX said:
Warb, don't apologize to Fink for thread hijacking! That is like apologizing to an expert bank robber for stealing his wallet-- DUDE! A cloud of smoke just zipped out of the forest and sucked up Indiana Jones, Ranger Walker, and that other guy, spitting them back out as shredded fleshy messes in the tree branched above us!
But then all of the sudden, out of the clearing.
"The other versions will disappear. Even the 35 million tapes of Star Wars out there won’t last more than 30 or 40 years. A hundred years from now, the only version of the movie that anyone will remember will be the DVD version [of the Special Edition], and you’ll be able to project it on a 20’ by 40’ screen with perfect quality. I think it’s the director’s prerogative, not the studio’s to go back and reinvent a movie." - George Lucas
<span> </span>
While all this interesting stuff is happening, I contiune to do enigmatic things in the backgroud, such as playing chess against my own shadow, and finding pages from the book of Revelation nailed to the trees mysteriously.
Hardcore fans will remember me doing this, and hope it someday pays off.
I know who can help us, he just arrived and he won't need a gun to save us.
CP3S said:
Om my goodness! This poor Fink guy, he has lost so much blood he is looking yellow...
We're all yellow!
(ed. note: Frink has never seen Lost. He's assuming the above picture is a reasonably accurate Simpsons parody)
Guys, look! I found an old VW van! I think I can get it to work!
Want to book yourself or a guest on THE VFP Show? PM me!
this guy will help you.
Suddenly, a Polar bear comes darting out of the woods and knocks Rambo's head off with one stroke of his paw before he even has a chance to respond, then the bear quickly gobbles down the fallen Vet's torso. MacGyver, thinking fast whips a paper clip out of his pocket and prepares to incompacitate the bear with it, only the bear moves too quickly, bites off the hand holding the paper clip, rips the man's trousers off with his teeth, and proceeds to hump him until he dies of internal bleeding while the rest of the castaways stare on in shocked horror.
This whole turn of events brings the castaway named C3PX to exclaim, "Holy shit! I sure wish we hadn't driven that Ferris guy to run off into the woods by himself by insisting he throw his guns into the ocean."
"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape
interesting though how Rambo got killed at well even though he did have a gun. hmmm . . .
It also seemed to me that MacGyver was a bit more resourceful on the TV show. I would have thought he'd do something with his Swiss Army Knife. oh well . . .
*as the bear turns to attack the rest of the castaways, this man shows up out of woods:
he throws a bat-a-rang at the bear and knock him out. He then proceeds to shoot the bear with a bat tranquilizer dart(its not a dart specifically for bats, he just likes to call everything the bat this and bat that. It will work on the bear, rest assured) that will keep the bear asleep for hours. The castaway named Warbler remarks "looks like we didn't need Ferris' guns after all" *
*FanFiltration comes running out from behind some wreckage screaming at the top of his lungs*
"A Pen! A Pen! Does anybody have a pen?
Please help, I need a pen!"
“First feel fear, then get angry. Then go with your life into the fight.” - Bill Mollison
Warbler said:
[Batman] then precedes to shoot the bear with a bat tranquilizer dart, that will keep the bear asleep for hours...
*** Eating super buttery popcorn...wondering why Batman would 'precede' to do something...instead of just 'proceeding' to do it...... .......and how effective a tranquilizer, used for bat's, will work on a bear. ***
Star Wars Episode XXX: Erica Strikes Back
If you want Nice, go to France
FanFiltration said:
*FanFiltration comes running out from behind some wreckage screaming at the top of his lungs*
"A Pen! A Pen! Does anybody have a pen?
Wait...when did this become OT.com's KIDS IN THE HALL?
Davnes007 said:
Warbler said:
[Batman] then precedes to shoot the bear with a bat tranquilizer dart, that will keep the bear asleep for hours...
*** Eating super buttery popcorn...wondering why Batman would 'precede' to do something...instead of just 'proceeding' to do it......
.......and how effective a tranquilizer, used for bat's, will work on a bear. ***
you are quite correct and the post has been corrected.
*Castaway Warbler says "Here you go, FanFiltration." Gives FanFiltration a pen*
Okay, now Christian Bale in a Batman costume shows up? This is just getting too ridiculous. As for a swiss army knife, dude, even if I had a nice high powered pistol loaded with hollow points, I'd rather not find myself face to face with a polar bear. MacGyver, or even the strongest man on earth would be lucky if he could get a swiss army knife to even break through the bears skin before it mauls him to death.
"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape
Warbler said:
*Castaway Warbler says "Here you go, FanFiltration." Gives FanFiltration a pen*
"Oh, Thank You! Now I just need to find a scrap of paper. I just saw Richard Dean Anderson over there, and I want to score his autograph!"
*FanFiltration runs off down the beach...
“First feel fear, then get angry. Then go with your life into the fight.” - Bill Mollison
*** giggling.......thinking FF is gonna be surprised when he finds out it's actually MacGyver, and not Richard Dean Anderson ***
Star Wars Episode XXX: Erica Strikes Back
If you want Nice, go to France
No, I think FF is going to be even more surprised when he discovers what is left of Mr. Anderson/MacGyver after the polar bear had his way with him.
After yelling obscenities at the seemingly downed polar bear, Christian Bale in his Batman costume precedes (hehe) to turn and walk away, only to be pounced and mauled to death by a polar bear that is now really angry about having been stuck by a bat tranquilizer, which, having been designed to sedate an animal that weights only a couple of pounds had absolutely no effect on the large beast.
Phew, keeping freaking super heroes and other ridiculous characters from other words of fiction from walking out of the airplane wreckage is a LOT of work! That plane had to have had the oddest passenger list of all time.
"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape
What would Bale Batman do. Grumble for 2 hours and make you skip his scenes just to see Heath Ledger.
"The other versions will disappear. Even the 35 million tapes of Star Wars out there won’t last more than 30 or 40 years. A hundred years from now, the only version of the movie that anyone will remember will be the DVD version [of the Special Edition], and you’ll be able to project it on a 20’ by 40’ screen with perfect quality. I think it’s the director’s prerogative, not the studio’s to go back and reinvent a movie." - George Lucas
<span> </span>
C3PX said:
No, I think FF is going to be even more surprised when he discovers what is left of Mr. Anderson/MacGyver after the polar bear had his way with him.
So are the polar bear and MacAnderver a couple now, or did MacAnderver press charges?
EyeShotFirst said:
What would Bale Batman do.
I have a WWBBD wristband that reminds me to always ask myself that question.
C3PX said:
Suddenly, a Polar bear comes darting out of the woods and knocks Rambo's head off with one stroke of his paw before he even has a chance to respond, then the bear quickly gobbles down the fallen Vet's torso. MacGyver, thinking fast whips a paper clip out of his pocket and prepares to incompacitate the bear with it, only the bear moves too quickly, bites off the hand holding the paper clip, rips the man's trousers off with his teeth, and proceeds to hump him until he dies of internal bleeding while the rest of the castaways stare on in shocked horror.
This whole turn of events brings the castaway named C3PX to exclaim, "Holy shit! I sure wish we hadn't driven that Ferris guy to run off into the woods by himself by insisting he throw his guns into the ocean."
Because of the gratuitous gore, OT.COm's lost is moved to a late-night time slot. Ratings fall and the show gets cancelled.
War does not make one great.