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OLD BEN: An Obi-Wan Kenobi Fan Edit [ABANDONED] — Page 2

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It does sound like rescoring is a pain, but the choices you’ve
made so far feel like a massive improvement over the original to my ears.

Another editing suggestion regarding the first Grand Inquisitor shot: I really like what you did here. Kind of a spooky reveal of the Grand Inquisitor. (It is impressive how you truncated that interaction, and it really improved it.)
I do think it might help to try to cut away from dolly in shot of the bartender behind the bar before he starts moving left of frame. Maybe before he sits the bottle down. Since he is static in the following shot, the movement stood out to me.

I also wonder if you could place the shot of Kenobi (the one we see after the bartender says they hunt Jedi) right after the reveal shot of the Grand Inquisitor. Cutting to Kenobi, who is a distance away from them, in my mind helps sell the idea that the bartender walked to the front of the bar while we were away, even if only for a brief moment. I also think there is a nice logic of revealing the Grand Inquisitor, then showing Kenobi’s immediate “oh shit” reaction.

This isn’t important, but there is one shot in the scene of the Grand Inquisitors shadow passing over a bar patron sitting down. I feel like this shot would be great to build up to the GI reveal, maybe being placed before the first shot of the bartender reacting to the GI walking in. The shot is used in the scene already though, but you could replace it with a shot of the three patrons at the bar top that was cut from your version (we see that shot around when the GI walks up to the lightsaber marks on the wall). Just an idea though! [And if you do use it, the shot might work better if it was reversed, but I can’t tell.]

The song you used at the end of the scene fit quite well!

I also like the idea you had of using a shot of the ringworld from Book of Boba Fett (feel like I should be saying Mandalorian). I do think that specific shot, of a ship leaving the ringworld, might be a little confusing since we just saw Obi-Wan about to board a ship on Tatooine, then see him leave a different place on a different ship. This might not work, but I wonder if you could use different establishing shots of the ringworld to imply that Kenobi is hiding/meditating in a storage container on the outer surface of the ring, the substrata, rather than on a ship floating through space somewhere. The colors of the ship Kenobi is in matches the color scheme of the substrata, so I feel like you could sell the idea. You could add pipe sounds or something too help sell the idea with ambience. And then after Kenobi has the vision, you could use that shot of the shuttle leaving the ringworld to make it seem like Kenobi is leaving to go rescue Leia.

Again, I do agree that you could accept Star Wars logic and Leia was kidnapped not long after Obi-Wan left Tatooine for totally different reasons, but I think this idea does help clarify his motivations a bit. And having a nice, quiet establishing shot or two could help with the flow of the narrative too.

You are totally right though regarding your thoughts of Bail. If Bail had Obi-Wan on speed dial all of this time, you’d think he would’ve just sent a message to Obi-Wan directly in A New Hope.

Also, great job with the binocular shot! Think it works better now.

I hope I’m not giving an overwhelming amount of feedback. I think what you’ve done so far is great, and you should trust your gut!

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Those are great (and detailed) suggestions Rogue.

Not showing Nari’s face is a huge improvement. Really like that fade at the end too.

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Kaweebo said:

Editing is much tighter on the Inquisitor scene, though I do think there should be an establishing shot of them exiting the ship before we just cut to them in the bar. Especially when Reva comes into play a bit more later in the show. I get why you edited them walking out because it just highlights how ridiculous they look, but it did feel a bit rushed, almost like they teleported to the cantina.

The editing on Nari and him getting strung up is good, as is the last time Kenobi goes to the Lars homestead. Very impactful. I’m enjoying this so far very much.

I agree with this. I also think it might be good to include the scene of Nari visiting Obi Wan before he gets killed, just to introduce who he is, let Obi Wan express “we lost,” and let the inquisitor scene play out to show why Obi Wan’s caution was justified while also making him feel it harder when Nari does get killed. I know that all we really need to know is that he’s a Jedi but as it is it feels a little abrupt. I also thought that this little sequence of events was something the original show did well.

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^ I think this scene is great. This is more the way that I thought that they should look in live action. They seem serious and competent, instead of being a bunch of clowns walking around like in the show. Good job!

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Vladius said:

Kaweebo said:

Editing is much tighter on the Inquisitor scene, though I do think there should be an establishing shot of them exiting the ship before we just cut to them in the bar. Especially when Reva comes into play a bit more later in the show. I get why you edited them walking out because it just highlights how ridiculous they look, but it did feel a bit rushed, almost like they teleported to the cantina.

The editing on Nari and him getting strung up is good, as is the last time Kenobi goes to the Lars homestead. Very impactful. I’m enjoying this so far very much.

I agree with this. I also think it might be good to include the scene of Nari visiting Obi Wan before he gets killed, just to introduce who he is, let Obi Wan express “we lost,” and let the inquisitor scene play out to show why Obi Wan’s caution was justified while also making him feel it harder when Nari does get killed. I know that all we really need to know is that he’s a Jedi but as it is it feels a little abrupt. I also thought that this little sequence of events was something the original show did well.

This is another thing I go back and forth on. It’s a pretty good scene, but again, I think a lot of what is said in it is communicated visually at different points throughout the show. When I can, I’m going to lean for the minimalist choice for this particular edit.

I also think there’s something to be said about clarity by leaving out Obi-Wan having explicitly given up on the Jedi. Within the next scene, he would’ve been pushing for Luke to be trained. And not too long later, jumping headfirst into saving Leia with no convincing. When all’s said and done, Obi-Wan is slightly different here than he is the original show. It isn’t so much about regaining his heroic instinct, but persevering in the face of so much reason to give up. Leaving Luke in this edit could be an example of him giving up, sure, but in context is really a choice made to keep him safer.

I don’t know if this makes any sense but that’s where I’m at with it. I like Obi-Wan’s arc in the original show, but this feels a little closer to how I understood Obi-Wan as a character before it.

Andor: The Rogue One Arc

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I don’t think the Nari scene is necessary, since it’s main point is to show that Kenobi himself has fallen into depression and has become jaded about everything, willing to abandon his moral conscience out of cowardice borne of his PTSD, which doesn’t seem to be as much at the forefront of this edit. This Obi-Wan is more practical, I feel, but driven by his sense of duty more than anything. There’s hints of his having become unbalanced (his inability to communicate with Qui-Gon, for example), but that’s more of a side thing than the main point.

The only other useful thing about that scene is setting the idea up about Obi-Wan burying his sabers in the sand, but I don’t think it’s that big of a stretch to just cut to him retrieving them once he’s resolved to leave like in the edit.

Really, Nari as a character was so mishandled because they decided to show us him through the Inquisitors’ POV rather than his own. If there was a scene of him heading to Tatooine or giving any explanation of the journey he’d been on since Order 66, I’d probably feel better about leaving it in since it’d be set up better. As is, I think his appearance only really works in this context via the Inquisitor scene in the cantina.

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I love the new Inquisitor scene & realignment of Obi Wan’s character, super looking forward to this edit. I have some ideas, if that’s alright:

If the scene with Nari itself feels abrupt to some, partitioning off the previous scene with Owen & Obi Wan could be the solution. If I recall, TBOBF blocked off the departure of Din Djarin and the arrival of Cad Bane with some B-roll footage, showing a weather vane before the switch. Maybe something similar before the Inquisitors’ ship appears could help the later Nari scene.

Owen’s reaction shot to the Inquisitors arriving feels incongruous. It could be because most of the reaction shots are head-on, whereas Owen’s is at an angle; it could also be because Owen’s background seems bluer. I wouldn’t miss it if Owen wasn’t included, but I understand if it’s needed for pacing & investment. Maybe it could go before the ship’s bridge lowers?

If Nari’s scene with Obi Wan isn’t included, his last words should be omitted. The delivery of “You’re wasting your time, you know that, right?” is too casual, and removing them would feel more in line with the tone of this edit. Additionally, replacing that beat with a spliced reaction shot of Obi Wan would keep the focus on Obi Wan’s decision to leave.

The fade to white is great and could last longer. Taking some time to fade back to a sun-bleached Tatooine would make the death hit harder while feeling smoother. Additionally, some of the first things we hear are a Jawa – maybe wind blowing or silence until we hear the music would work better?

After the fade to black after Obi Wan leaves Tatooine – this may be controversial – it could really work to see some of Leia’s scenes. Tonally, the switch to another life would show that there is another, more vibrant universe outside of Obi Wan’s purgatory, and could bridge the later “Star Wars-y” moments of the show. Structurally, Luke’s decision to leave Dagobah has weight because we have been with Han & Leia before that point, and because we have been introduced to Bespin; after the hood goes over Leia’s head, the perspective could switch back to Obi Wan’s meditation, where he sees Leia with the abductors and makes the choice to save her.

This is all just my opinion, but I hope some of it helps!

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When Reva throws the knife, she looks around and sees Nari holding his hand up to force stop the knife. Seems like he could have just let it drop instead of holding it in place for so long. I cut those two scenes to avoid it dragging out and to make Reva’s response more prompt. Also removed Nari saying "You’re wasting your time, you know that, right?” mostly because the delivery is so bad.

Here’s a link https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Kdu5VYi3hfZ9rI-xqaxJMy-WtYbpW1Wz/view?usp=sharing

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That’s great! These are all great ideas I’ll definitely give pass throughs. Small moments like that can pass me by when I’m focused on a bigger picture.

Andor: The Rogue One Arc

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Please please please, consider removing the Third sister all together, to maybe just a few appearances.
May God guide you.

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I like Reva though! I’m actually trying to find a way to include her a bit more as this goes on without it feeling out of left field for who’s mostly been a background player

Andor: The Rogue One Arc

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NFBisms said:

I like Reva though! I’m actually trying to find a way to include her a bit more as this goes on without it feeling out of left field for who’s mostly been a background player

This is why I suggested showing them getting off the ship since I think Reva and the 5th Brother get off before the GI? It gives us a bit more time to notice her before going straight to the cantina scene where the GI is fully revealed to us after the mysterious footsteps.

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Would you consider an alternate ending to the show?
I was thinking about the following:
During the second duel between Obi-Wan and Vader, instead of Obi-Wan walking away, getting into his starship and going to Tatooine, what if it’s Vader leaving Obi-Wan for dead, and leaving the planet first?

In ROTS, Obi-Wan left Anakin for dead on Mustafar. How about Vader now does the same to Obi-Wan?
It could be carefully edited like this:

Vader’s helmet is sliced open /
“Goodbye, Darth” /
Delete the extra shots of Vader walking slowly with no dialogue /
Vader kneels down and yells “Obi-Wan!” /
Use the shot of Vader’s hand slamming into the ground /
Flipped shot of the ground breaking, so that it matches correctly with where Obi-Wan is & where the camera angle should be /
Obi-Wan falls /
Rocks fall down on top of him straight away - no further input from Vader - no need for him to be standing at the edge /
Relocate audio used earlier for the overhead shot of Vader “Did you truly think that you could defeat me? You have failed” /
As Vader speaks, do a slow, steady zoom-in on Vader, so it’s a bit different to what was shown in the episode /
Vader leaves the planet (would need to find a good shot of Vader’s shuttle flying in space) /
Obi-Wan has the visions of Luke and Leia, inspiring him to go on / Obi-Wan frees himself, leaves the planet, and goes into hyperspace (no visions of Luke whilst in the starship, to accommodate the removal of the awful Tatooine sequences in the sixth episode).

What do you think?

My edits:
https://ifdb.fanedit.org/fanedit-search/tag/faneditorname/phase3/

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I really like that idea, personally.

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Sounds good to me unless NFBisms has something else in mind.

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Phase3 said:

Would you consider an alternate ending to the show?
I was thinking about the following:
During the second duel between Obi-Wan and Vader, instead of Obi-Wan walking away, getting into his starship and going to Tatooine, what if it’s Vader leaving Obi-Wan for dead, and leaving the planet first?

In ROTS, Obi-Wan left Anakin for dead on Mustafar. How about Vader now does the same to Obi-Wan?
It could be carefully edited like this:

Vader’s helmet is sliced open /
“Goodbye, Darth” /
Delete the extra shots of Vader walking slowly with no dialogue /
Vader kneels down and yells “Obi-Wan!” /
Use the shot of Vader’s hand slamming into the ground /
Flipped shot of the ground breaking, so that it matches correctly with where Obi-Wan is & where the camera angle should be /
Obi-Wan falls /
Rocks fall down on top of him straight away - no further input from Vader - no need for him to be standing at the edge /
Relocate audio used earlier for the overhead shot of Vader “Did you truly think that you could defeat me? You have failed” /
As Vader speaks, do a slow, steady zoom-in on Vader, so it’s a bit different to what was shown in the episode /
Vader leaves the planet (would need to find a good shot of Vader’s shuttle flying in space) /
Obi-Wan has the visions of Luke and Leia, inspiring him to go on / Obi-Wan frees himself, leaves the planet, and goes into hyperspace (no visions of Luke whilst in the starship, to accommodate the removal of the awful Tatooine sequences in the sixth episode).

What do you think?

Personally I think that this sequence you suggested is the best, much more logical than the official one.

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Kaweebo said:

I don’t think the Nari scene is necessary, since it’s main point is to show that Kenobi himself has fallen into depression and has become jaded about everything, willing to abandon his moral conscience out of cowardice borne of his PTSD, which doesn’t seem to be as much at the forefront of this edit. This Obi-Wan is more practical, I feel, but driven by his sense of duty more than anything. There’s hints of his having become unbalanced (his inability to communicate with Qui-Gon, for example), but that’s more of a side thing than the main point.

The only other useful thing about that scene is setting the idea up about Obi-Wan burying his sabers in the sand, but I don’t think it’s that big of a stretch to just cut to him retrieving them once he’s resolved to leave like in the edit.

Really, Nari as a character was so mishandled because they decided to show us him through the Inquisitors’ POV rather than his own. If there was a scene of him heading to Tatooine or giving any explanation of the journey he’d been on since Order 66, I’d probably feel better about leaving it in since it’d be set up better. As is, I think his appearance only really works in this context via the Inquisitor scene in the cantina.

I didn’t interpret it that way at all. He’s depressed and jaded but he’s absolutely right to keep his head down and recommend other Jedi do the same. By not going around calling himself Obi Wan and making a big show out of things he’s protecting Luke, which is the most important thing he can do. And his advice was right, Nari just got himself killed anyway. Everything he said was true. And again when he tells Bail Organa that his primary responsibility is Luke, that’s also true.

The show later undercuts this by trying to make it seem like Obi Wan is supposed to abandon Luke so he can have more off world adventures (maybe in season 2) and his “flaw” was not being adventurous enough (?). I hate that but it doesn’t have to be that way. The opening is pretty good and doesn’t have to set up that non-arc.

It’s important to remember that this is not The Last Jedi Luke. With TLJ Luke there is no purpose to it, he hates the Jedi and wants nothing to do with the story. Obi Wan, inside this show or not, depressed or not, is being an isolated hermit for a very good reason. He has a purpose and he’s still a Jedi. There’s a plan in place.

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NFBisms said:

I like Reva though! I’m actually trying to find a way to include her a bit more as this goes on without it feeling out of left field for who’s mostly been a background player

Why do you like the character? Also, out of curiosity why shift the focus onto a secondary role? I personally found her as a stuck up, ill headed, ghetto stereotypical want to be baddy. Not sure why anyone would want to include even more screen time of her.

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Miche said:

NFBisms said:

I like Reva though! I’m actually trying to find a way to include her a bit more as this goes on without it feeling out of left field for who’s mostly been a background player

Why do you like the character? Also, out of curiosity why shift the focus onto a secondary role. I personally found her as stuck up, ill headed, guetto stereotypical want to be baddy. Not sure why anyone would want to include even more screen time.

The problem with her moreso is she serves a specific purpose in the story, that of being the impetus that sets the events of the show in motion, but the way she goes about it and gets involved require so much mental hoop-jumping to justify that it becomes nonsensical. Couple that with the fact that she is overrepresented as a character whose actions effect almost every major character in the OT and yet she exists ONLY in this show makes her come off as a fanfiction character rather than a utilitarian function of the story, someone to be admired as a prop by the writers rather than be genuine part of what’s going on without overstating it.

Even her creator in an interview said that he initially believed the only natural conclusion for her in the story was to die because her purpose exists solely here, yet Disney couldn’t even help themselves not to sequel bait for a second season on this supposedly “limited series” before it was released. So for her character, I’d suggest taking a cue from George:

“ It’s stylistically designed to be that way and you can’t undo that. But we can diminish the effects of it.”

You can’t remove her completely because she’s integral to later events, but de-emphasizing her role in how Leia gets kidnapped and why Obi-Wan leaves goes a great deal towards making her significantly more tolerable in the narrative. If she was just an Inquisitor who stood out above the rest rather than, effectively, a tertiary protagonist of the show, I would have appreciated her role much more.

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Phase3 said:

Would you consider an alternate ending to the show?
I was thinking about the following:
During the second duel between Obi-Wan and Vader, instead of Obi-Wan walking away, getting into his starship and going to Tatooine, what if it’s Vader leaving Obi-Wan for dead, and leaving the planet first?

In ROTS, Obi-Wan left Anakin for dead on Mustafar. How about Vader now does the same to Obi-Wan?
It could be carefully edited like this:

Vader’s helmet is sliced open /
“Goodbye, Darth” /
Delete the extra shots of Vader walking slowly with no dialogue /
Vader kneels down and yells “Obi-Wan!” /
Use the shot of Vader’s hand slamming into the ground /
Flipped shot of the ground breaking, so that it matches correctly with where Obi-Wan is & where the camera angle should be /
Obi-Wan falls /
Rocks fall down on top of him straight away - no further input from Vader - no need for him to be standing at the edge /
Relocate audio used earlier for the overhead shot of Vader “Did you truly think that you could defeat me? You have failed” /
As Vader speaks, do a slow, steady zoom-in on Vader, so it’s a bit different to what was shown in the episode /
Vader leaves the planet (would need to find a good shot of Vader’s shuttle flying in space) /
Obi-Wan has the visions of Luke and Leia, inspiring him to go on / Obi-Wan frees himself, leaves the planet, and goes into hyperspace (no visions of Luke whilst in the starship, to accommodate the removal of the awful Tatooine sequences in the sixth episode).

What do you think?

I think it defeats the purpose of the line in EP IV. Therefore he would’ve been the victor of the last encounter which defeats „…i was but the learner…“. So it’s wether a question of canon or non-canon editing.

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Miche said:

NFBisms said:

I like Reva though! I’m actually trying to find a way to include her a bit more as this goes on without it feeling out of left field for who’s mostly been a background player

Why do you like the character? Also, out of curiosity why shift the focus onto a secondary role. I personally found her as stuck up, ill headed, guetto stereotypical want to be baddy. Not sure why anyone would want to include even more screen time.

Assuming “guetto” is a typo for what I think it is, kindly fuck off from this site. We don’t need your kind here.

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CMMAP said:

Phase3 said:

Would you consider an alternate ending to the show?
I was thinking about the following:
During the second duel between Obi-Wan and Vader, instead of Obi-Wan walking away, getting into his starship and going to Tatooine, what if it’s Vader leaving Obi-Wan for dead, and leaving the planet first?

In ROTS, Obi-Wan left Anakin for dead on Mustafar. How about Vader now does the same to Obi-Wan?
It could be carefully edited like this:

Vader’s helmet is sliced open /
“Goodbye, Darth” /
Delete the extra shots of Vader walking slowly with no dialogue /
Vader kneels down and yells “Obi-Wan!” /
Use the shot of Vader’s hand slamming into the ground /
Flipped shot of the ground breaking, so that it matches correctly with where Obi-Wan is & where the camera angle should be /
Obi-Wan falls /
Rocks fall down on top of him straight away - no further input from Vader - no need for him to be standing at the edge /
Relocate audio used earlier for the overhead shot of Vader “Did you truly think that you could defeat me? You have failed” /
As Vader speaks, do a slow, steady zoom-in on Vader, so it’s a bit different to what was shown in the episode /
Vader leaves the planet (would need to find a good shot of Vader’s shuttle flying in space) /
Obi-Wan has the visions of Luke and Leia, inspiring him to go on / Obi-Wan frees himself, leaves the planet, and goes into hyperspace (no visions of Luke whilst in the starship, to accommodate the removal of the awful Tatooine sequences in the sixth episode).

What do you think?

I think it defeats the purpose of the line in EP IV. Therefore he would’ve been the victor of the last encounter which defeats „…i was but the learner…“. So it’s wether a question of canon or non-canon editing.

There’s ways to interpret that, though it would be better if there was a shot of an injured Vader walking back to his ship to really sell the point that he barely survived the encounter and needed to fix his suit, to the point of not even doing a confirm kill on Obi-Wan under the rubble (maybe you could add his hard breathing during shots of Vader walking to give the idea that he’s struggling). Combine that with the escape on Jabiim, assuming that’s still going to be part of this edit (emphasized by the flashback sequence showing that he still is being taught by Kenobi even now), and there’s certainly enough there to give the impression that Vader considered himself a learner in this scenario.

It makes Obi-Wan being stuck under the rocks a move out of desperation rather than a true final pin on their confrontation. Because the alternative is what happens in the show where Vader just assumes he killed Obi-Wan and foolishly goes to leave the planet, making him look incompetent as he seems to consistently give Kenobi ‘outs’ to escape; once on Mapuzo and once here.