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NOTES for "Episode 1: Rise of a Jedi" (My brother's idea)

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 (Edited)

This is a prequel rewrite my older brother came up over a year ago. He gave a basic idea for episode 1 but we never got a chance to work on it. I'd like to see what you think. Here's some notes I wrote for my brother:

PLOT:

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

For over a thousand generations, the Galactic Republic was the center body of government in the galaxy that brought order and peace. However, the recent breakthrough of cloning has become the center of the Republic's issues as many politicians debate over the rights of clones.

Meanwhile, the Jedi Knights, the Republic's peace keepers, continue their servitude to the galaxy. On the planet of [insert planet name here], the Jedi train their young students in the ways of the Force to become servants of the Republic. Amongst these student is one who is exceptionally strong in the Force...

Beginning:

Anakin is a good Jedi, but lacks motivation. He becomes an assistant to Obi-Wan, who's Bail Organa's advisor. As they go to Alderaan, Obi-Wan sees Anakin's Force Potential, but doesn't think highly of him because of Anakin's lack of motivation, despite he's a good pilot,

Genetic engineering and cloning has spread throughout the galaxy, there are those who want clones to have rights while others don't, Bail (who is pro-clone rights) is on a Senate committee that deals with scientific-legal stuff.

Middle:

Obi-Wan see Anakin flying and using the use Force to fly, so Obi-Wan tries to motivate Anakin, but that doesn't work.

After that, Anakin is taken to a tour of a cloning facility as a publicity move by Bail to highlight the suffering of the clones, and sees how horrible clones are treated. Anakin sees Bail giving a press conference about clones being mistreated and is inspired to learn about politics, so Anakin talks with Obi-Wan about politics after listening to Bail's speech. Obi-Wan structures politics as a way of helping people via republicanism/democracy (government officials are meant to help people).

Incorporate business that have been funding the cloning have lost their jobs due to the lack of popularity from Bail's press conference, so they try to get an assassin (who happens to be Maul).

End:

Bail survives with assassination attempts. The first time, Maul attacks, but Anakin and Obi-Wan drive him away. As he leaves, Maul loses his communicator, which Bail uses that to realize that the corporate leaders were behind it, so he tries to get them arrested which leads to a blaster fight. Meanwhile, Anakin and Obi-Wan fight Maul, and they both take out Maul together.

Anakin realizes he wants to help people, realizes politics is a strong force in the galaxy, sees the pain of beings in the galaxy, sees politics as a way to help people, and Obi-Wan takes him as his apprentice. In the news, Chancellor Palpatine announces he has passed a pro-clone rights bill. However, this ensues the Clone Wars as the people anti-clone rights form their own army of clones.

ORGANIZATIONS:

Jedi:

Sees the interconnectedness of the Force and seeks to make the universe better by helping people. More of a religious order; no council; take teenagers in after they're done with their regular school to train them as Jedi, and the Jedi order has different positions for different kinds of Jedi (healer, diplomats, etc).

Sith:

Sees the Force and the galaxy like the Jedi, but believe the galaxy is in chaos and seeks to bring order by ruling the galaxy. They are only a secret small group (two people, since they follow the Rule of two) with their leader, who hides in the shadows. They work as infiltrators, trying to destroy the Republic from within, so they can rule.

Galactic Republic:

A galaxy-wide governmental body that is slowly becoming corrupted, and is led by Chancellor Palpatine.

CHARACTERS

Anakin:

Anakin isn't space Jesus; has step-family on Tattooine and an only child; in Jedi school as a young adult with no motivation, yet assigned by the Jedi School to do an internation in politics as special assistant to Obi-Wan who is advisor/negotiator to Bail Organa of Alderaan; becomes friends with Obi-Wan; likes to fly and is a good pilot,

Obi-Wan:

Sees Anakin is highly in the Force but ignores him because of his lack of motivation; explains to Anakin the Republic's democratic system; tries to get Anakin motivated; at the end he develops a respect and friendship for Anakin, and wants to train him.

Bail:

The Senator of Alderaan, who seeks to help promote the rights of clones; he tries to do this by revealing the treatment of clones done by the corporations; however, his life is in danger due to his interference, so he has Obi-Wan and Anakin to protect him.

Palpatine:

The head of the Republic; who is torn between those pro-clone rights and anti-clone rights. He simply waits for the Senate to decide on the matter and in the end, passes a bill that promotes pro-clone rights.

Maul:

A Sith Assassin who is behind the assassination attempts on Bail Organa's life. He's hired by the clone corporations to kill Bail, but it constantly thwarted by Anakin and Obi-Wan.

The Clone Wars:

Genetic engineering and cloning has spread throughout the galaxy; there are those who want clones to have rights while others don't; Bail is for clone rights, while there's an anti-cloning group

What do you guys think? Is it any good? Anything that needs work? Please let me know. Thanks.

"Adventure, excitement. A Jedi craves not these things!"

- Yoda

W.S.

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The characterization for the Sith sounds interesting -- they sound like they have more depth to them than the PT Sith -- though of course I'm not big on the choice to stick with the Rule of Two; there's nothing wrong with going with a small number of Sith, but limiting them down to two at a time just seems too limiting IMO.

“Happy Halloween, ladies!”

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I agree with DuracellEnergizer. That's a good start that provides character exposition that is MUCH more interesting than the existing PT. I like how the characters have relationships that logically carry into the OT without being obvious, especially the link of having Obi-Wan as Bail Organa's advisor. In the existing version, it sure is a good thing that Bail thought to fly by the Jedi Temple on his way out of town in EpIII. Otherwise, they would have had to hide Leia on someone else's planet.