My Completely Insane Spider-Man Edits that Will Probably Never Happen (15 Episode Live-Action Series)

What if all the Spider-Man films were in the same continuity? This is just a weird thought experiment so bear with me here. It’s not about making the best possible versions of these films but rather about making them all flow together as one series.

For simplicity sake, I will be referring to the films by the director’s name and a number, so for example TASM2 becomes Webb 2 and No Way Home becomes Watts 3. I hope that’s not confusing for anybody because personally I find it less confusing than using the official titles, not that those are confusing, just messy. Still not nearly as messy as Batman titles.

Obviously we have to start at the beginning, with the first half of Raimi 1. Peter gets bitten, does wrestling, Uncle Ben dies, yadda yadda, Spider-Man is born. MJ has black hair in this episode.

Next we jump way ahead to the Jon Watts films. The reason for this is twofold: the actors for Aunt May and Peter Parker look younger and more importantly Peter is still in high school. The faces aren’t too important since we’ll be deepfaking left and right.

Okay so Spidey fights Vulture and Mysterio, but without any Iron Man, Avengers, or SHIELD in the picture. Kinda becomes an issue if your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man is being funded by a billionaire. Nick Fury shouldn’t be hard to remove, but Tony Stark will be a little harder. Oh and MJ doesn’t find out Peter is Spider-Man or kiss him at the end. Skip No Way Home for now.

This version of Flash is renamed and made a different character because there’s no way to convince anyone Tony Revolori is playing the same Flash as the other two guys. MJ is the same. Believe me, my instinct was to leave Michelle Jones as a separate character from Mary Jane Watson since they look and act completely different but honestly juggling Mary Jane and Gwen is already hard enough as is, and throwing a third girl to deal with who just vanishes is just too much. Plus Michelle is way better than Mary Jane so you can cut as much Mary Jane as possible to eliminate her irritating behavior and highlight Michelle’s loveableness. If you think passing off the two as the same character is confusing, just be thankful I didn’t try to pass of Ned as Harry before he lost some weight.

Now onto the Webb films. Peter and May look a little older and Peter’s just finishing high school. He fights the lizard, falls for Gwen Stacey, yadda yadda until Electro gets captured and Gwen leaves for London. Neither Gwen nor her father die. Peter and Gwen graduate, but we have an extra moment of Harry during the graduation looking at MJ breaking up with Flash taken from Raimi 1. Oh and Dr. Connors is never outed as the Lizard or incarcerated, so he just goes back to being a professor, leaving the morally dubious Oscorp for other more pleasant employment.

Finally we reach the Raimi films. Aunt May and Captain Stacy are visibly older and Mary Jane’s hair is ginger now. Green Goblin and Dr. Octopus do their thing pretty much unchanged. The we reach the Black Suit saga and boy do I have plans for this one. It starts off largely the same, with Harry wanting revenge on Spidey for god knows what reason (both the blood and death of Norman are dumb reasons) while Spidey also fights Sandman. In the end, he pummels Sandyboy with the Black Suit. (Raimi 3) After this Harry is fired from Oscorp and breaks out Electro to help get back in. This culminates in him becoming the second Green Goblin. (Webb 2) Meanwhile, Peter is now dating Gwen after things were getting too rough with MJ. He even takes her to the jazz club where MJ works at just to humiliate her. Spidey goes to church and removes the Black Suit. That’s where it latches onto Eddie Brock, whom Parker had gotten fired. Thus Venom is born. (Raimi 3) His first response? Walk in on his ex-girlfriend Gwen’s business meeting at a fancy restaurant and make a scene eating live lobsters. Her colleague takes him for an MRI but that doesn’t go so well and he goes home. (Venom 1) Meanwhile, good ol’ Gobby sweeps in to grab Gwen and flies off to a clocktower with her. Spider-Man chases them. They have a big fight and Gwen dies. Peter is very sad. Electro is also there but he doesn’t die. (Webb 2) No time to mourn, though! Venom’s kidnapped MJ and taken her to the top of a skyscraper. Sandman is nowhere to be found. Spidey of course rescues her with last minute help from the new Green Goblin making quit the moral 180. (Raimi 3) So that’s my mashup of Webb 2 and Raimi 3 feat. Venom 1, encompassing a whopping 4 villains.

Finally we reach No Way Home. A posthumous video has surfaced of Mysterio outing Peter Parker as Spider-Man. Peter goes to Dr. Strange in an attempt to erase this knowledge from the memory of the entire planet, but things go awry, resurrecting the first Green Goblin. Meanwhile octopi can swim so Dr. Octopus is AOK and decided he’s evil again now. He teams up with the Lizard (Dr. Connors had a second dose since we last saw him), Sandman, and Electro. Ned is there for some reason. Haven’t seen him in like 10 episodes but he’s here now. Him, Spidey, and MJ lure the villains to the Statue of Liberty (only one Spidey is present) to cure all the villains. Or something like that, idk. Peter finally reconciles with Sandman. They all live happily ever after except not really cuz memory wipes, setting up for Spider-Man 2: Eternal Punishment.

So there you have it. My bonkers mega-mashup of all 8 live-action theatrical Spider-Man films (with a touch of Venom). It’s nonsensical, will require a bajillion deepfakes, and probably worse than just watching the movies as they exist, but the point is it can (maybe) be done.

And for those you wondering about the episode counts I keep throwing out there, I split each movie into two one hour episodes, and taking away the first half of Webb 1 since we don’t need a second origin story that makes 15 episodes. The splits work really seamlessly with the Raimi films since they all have a part at the midpoint where the status quo changes and we get a montage to indicate the new status quo.

My favorite subtle nuances:

• The comments about Norman being terminally ill during the Lizard’s rampage really recontextualize his actions as the Green Goblin as a dying man desperately trying to keep control of his company not for himself but for his son.
• While both of Harry’s motivations to hate Spider-Man are dumb, they do compound.
• Once he debuts around halfway through the series, Jameson has a near constant presence thanks to his appearance in Watts 3 and his email in Webb 2.
• Betty Brant appears in the background more or less regularly and you get to see her rising from school reporter to working at a real newspaper (although come to think of it isn’t she a secretary in the Raimi films?).
• Harry, MJ, and Gwen, arguably the most important civilian characters in the Spidey mythos, appear regularly throughout the series and each have a pretty well defined arc.
• Jameson’s comment about Dr. Strange is now foreshadowing, much like his comment about Eddie and Peter’s comment about Dr. Connors before they debuted.
• That black teacher who takes Peter’s class on the trip that he gets bitten on? That’s totally J.B. Smooves’ teacher from the Watts films.
• I didn’t make this but it’s really nice so throw it in there.
• Aside from a few episodes where I have to deepfake switcheroo, Marisa Tomei naturally ages into Sally Field, who in turn ages into Rosemary Harris. The same applies to Dennis Leary aging into James Cromwell and Angourie Rice into Elizabeth Banks.
• The board getting rid of Norman perfectly lines up with them getting rid of Harry, so there’s a consistent throughline there. You could view this as a bad thing, since they’re making the same mistake twice, though.