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"Jack, listen. Maybe we can cut a deal."
"Jack? Jack is dead, my friend. You can call me … Joker."
"And as you can see, I’m a lot happier."
"Jack, listen. Maybe we can cut a deal."
"Jack? Jack is dead, my friend. You can call me … Joker."
"And as you can see, I’m a lot happier."
"These men are consummate snowball artists. They use sensitive nerve gasses to induce hallucinations. People think they’re seeing ghosts, and they call these bozos, who conveniently show up to deal with the problem with a fake electronic light show."
"Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here."
"They caused an explosion!"
"Is this true?"
"Yes, it’s true. This man has no dick."
"I used to be with it, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’, and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary to me. It’ll happen to you…"
"I hear you’re looking for Candyman, bitch."
"Ja, my name is Ilsa Immelman, and I vant to know, how many children do you have?"
"I have two girls and a boy."
"Oh, a boyyy. I don’t vork vith the males, 'cause I used to be one."
"Where in hell are you from, anyway, Private?"
"Sir, Texas, sir!"
"Holy dog shit! Texas‽ Only steers and q****s come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And you don’t much look like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?"
"Sir, no, sir!"
"Are you a peter-p****r‽"
"Sir, no, sir!"
"I’ll bet you’re the kinda guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around! I’ll be watching you!"
"And now, folks, it’s time for ‘Who do you trust!’ Hubba, hubba, hubba! Money, money, money! Who do you trust? Me? I’m giving away free money. And where is the Batman?"
"He’s at home, washing his tights!"
"I have the high ground."
"You underestimate my power."
"Don’t try it."
"Somebody had to take the babysitter home. Then I noticed she was sitting on her sweet can. So I grabbed her sweet can. Ooh … just thinking about her can … I just wish I had her sweet, sweet, s-s-sweet can."
"So, Mr. Simpson, you admit you grabbed her can. What do you have to say in your defense?"
"Mr. Simpson, your silence will only incriminate you further."
"No, Mr. Simpson. Don’t take your anger out on me! Get back! Get back!"
"Mr. Simpson, noooo!"
DRAMATIZATION: MAY NOT HAVE HAPPENED
“Oh Là Là? Oh Là Là?!”
"The future is now! Soon every American home will integrate their television, phone, and computer. You’ll be able to visit the Louvre on one channel, or watch female mud wrestling on another. You can do your shopping at home, or play Mortal Kombat with a friend in Vietnam. There’s no end to the possibilities!"
Watch the skies.
"I just had sex and am about to eat nachos! It’s the greatest moment of my life!"
"A woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one. But you can’t stop at one; you wanna drink another woman."
"Jason Voorhees is dead! His body was cremated. He’s nothing but a handful of ash."
"You little scumbag! I got your name! I got your ass! You will not laugh! You will not cry! You will learn by the numbers! I will teach you! Now get up! Get on your feet!"
“I don’t think the system works”
“Get over violence, madness and death? What else is there?”
Also known as Mr. Liquid Jungle.
“I don’t think the system works”
We have a winner.
"Don’t be a good neighbour to her. I’ll send you a love letter, straight from my heart, fucker! You know what a love letter is? It’s a bullet from a fucking gun, fucker! You receive a love letter from me, you’re fucked forever! You understand, fuck‽ I’ll send you straight to hell, fucker!"
"That MacGyver’s a genius."
"First of all, he’s not a genius, he’s an actor. And second, he’s not much of an actor."
"You’re lying! You’re lying!"
"No, Selma, this is lying: That was a well-plotted piece of non-claptrap that never made me want to retch."
“Thanks to modern editing techniques, we can use existing footage to complete the film without Milhouse!”
“Dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural…”
“Get over violence, madness and death? What else is there?”
Also known as Mr. Liquid Jungle.
"Revenge. The most worthless of causes."
“There’s more to life than making shallow, fairly-obvious observations”
“What killed the dinosaurs?! THE ICE AGE!”