Sign In

Merry Fucking Christmas and Happy Holidays

Author
Time
Have a good Christmas everyone. I hope everyone one in the world can be happy on Christmas.
Author
Time
My first reaction to the thread title was to be upset. My second reaction is "what the hell, I'll play ball."
I heard there is no Christmas,
In the silly Middle East..
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus,
They have different religious beliefs...
They believe in Muhammad,
And not in our holiday...
And so every December,
I go to the Middle East and say...

Hey there Mr Muslim, Merry Fucking Christmas
Put down that book, The Koran
And hear some holiday wishes
In case you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus's Birthday
So get off your heathen Muslim ass
And fucking celebrate.

There is no holiday season
In India, I've heard..
They don't hang up their stockings,
And that is just absurd..
They've never read a Christmas story,
They don't know what Rudolph is about...
And that's why in December,
I'll go to India and shout...

Hey there Mr Hinduist, Merry Fucking Christmas
Drink eggnog, and eat some beef
and pass it to the missus
In case you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus's birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu ass,
And fucking celebrate.

Now I heard that in Japan,
Everyone just lives in sin...
They pray to several gods,
And put needles in their skin...
On December twenty-fifth,
all they do is eat a cake...
and that is why I'll go to Japan,
and walk around and say...

Hey there Mr Shintoist, Merry Fucking Christmas
God is gonna kick your ass you infidelic pagan scum.
In case you haven't noticed,
There's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
and Merry Fucking Christmas to you.

On Christmas Day, I travel round the world and say...
Taoists, Krishnas, Buddists
and all you atheists too...
Merry Fucking Christmas to you.
I am fluent in over six million forms of procrastination.
Author
Time
Originally posted by: ADigitalMan
My first reaction to the thread title was to be upset. My second reaction is "what the hell, I'll play ball."
I heard there is no Christmas,
In the silly Middle East..
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus,
They have different religious beliefs...
They believe in Muhammad,
And not in our holiday...
And so every December,
I go to the Middle East and say...

Hey there Mr Muslim, Merry Fucking Christmas
Put down that book, The Koran
And hear some holiday wishes
In case you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus's Birthday
So get off your heathen Muslim ass
And fucking celebrate.

There is no holiday season
In India, I've heard..
They don't hang up their stockings,
And that is just absurd..
They've never read a Christmas story,
They don't know what Rudolph is about...
And that's why in December,
I'll go to India and shout...

Hey there Mr Hinduist, Merry Fucking Christmas
Drink eggnog, and eat some beef
and pass it to the missus
In case you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus's birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu ass,
And fucking celebrate.

Now I heard that in Japan,
Everyone just lives in sin...
They pray to several gods,
And put needles in their skin...
On December twenty-fifth,
all they do is eat a cake...
and that is why I'll go to Japan,
and walk around and say...

Hey there Mr Shintoist, Merry Fucking Christmas
God is gonna kick your ass you infidelic pagan scum.
In case you haven't noticed,
There's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
and Merry Fucking Christmas to you.

On Christmas Day, I travel round the world and say...
Taoists, Krishnas, Buddists
and all you atheists too...
Merry Fucking Christmas to you.


Technically Christmas is more of a secular holiday nowdays. But I believe you should celebrate it how you want to.
Author
Time
Originally posted by: sean wookie

My first reaction to the thread title was to be upset. My second reaction is "what the hell, I'll play ball."

Why did a thread titled "Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays" make you upset? Or has Sean edited to say something different than it did at the time of you initial temporary upsetness?



Originally posted by: sean wookie


Technically Christmas is more of a secular holiday nowdays. But I believe you should celebrate it how you want to.


No matter what you do, it will always be a religious holiday, but since the Christians stole it from the pagans in the first place I guess it is fair enough if it is someday stolen from the Christians and passed off as a secular holiday. But that day is not today, turn on the radio and find the stations playing Christmas music, chock full of religious references. Even if there are stations that only play songs that do not excplicitly mention baby Jeuss or any other religious things, roll the dial around to the next one. I was in the mall the other day, and the stores are playing Christmas music filled with references to a kid being born in a manger, or Christ our savior being born on Christmas day. Even the very name of the holiday is undeniably religious. Technically Christmas is a 100% religious holiday, that is celebrated in non religious ways by both Christians and atheist a like.

At any rate, while it may be celebrated in America by Christians and non Christians, this is not the case in most parts of the world, as the song ADM posted points out in a very ethnocentric way.

That said,

MERRY XMAS EVERYBODY!!!!

"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape

Author
Time
Christmas, my favorite holiday! To me it is as much culture as it is religion, it's for everybody. That's what makes it so great. Merry Christmas to you all.

BTW, that song is too funny ADM , is it sung to a well known tune?
Fez: I am so excited about Star Whores.
Hyde: Fezzy, man, it's Star Wars.
Author
Time
Merry Christmas everybody.

Thanks to everyone who has helped me out this year. I really do appreciate it.

Thanks
JD

Creator of Star Wars Begins, Building Empire and Returning to Jedi
Follow me on twitter @jamieSWB. Please support me at - http://www.patreon.com/jamiebenning/

Author
Time
Originally posted by: PSYCHO_DAYV
SEAN' ORIGINAL TITLE FOR THIS THREAD WAS "MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS." THAT IS WHAT UPSET ADM.


LOL, that is hilarious. Now it all makes more sense.

"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape

Author
Time
I reverted the title. I love you guys. I've been here 4 years and you're all like my family....... except Lordjedi. Just kidding.
Author
Time
Hah... you guys rock...
Christmas spirit - if only it would last all year... . but I'm glad it makes everyone happy nonetheless.
Thanks for being awesome. OT.com

A Goon in a Gaggle of 'em

Author
Time
For those who didn't immediately know the quote, it's from South Park, sung by Mr. Garrison.
I am fluent in over six million forms of procrastination.
Author
Time
Merry Christmas ya'll!!! Won't be much of one for me though, I have to work Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I should've went into another line of work I guess.
Author
Time
Originally posted by: sean wookie
I reverted the title. I love you guys. I've been here 4 years and you're all like my family....... except Lordjedi. Just kidding.


Merry Christmas to you to Sean
F Scale score - 3.3333333333333335

You are disciplined but tolerant; a true American.

Pissing off Rob since August 2007.
Author
Time
I fucking hate snow when I work.


I blame Global Warming.

Merry Christmas anyway.
Author
Time
Merry Christmas, everyone! I'm working Christmas Day, so I know how you feel, Ferris209!

And, by the way, I loved the Mr Garrison quote, ADM!
Don't you call me a mindless philosopher...!
Author
Time
I hope I'm not reserving a place in Hell for this, but I've just written a sequel for you all:

They say you should not celebrate the sav-i-our's birthday
Thanksgiving and Christmas are not the Holy way
They'll never participate in a Christmas Carol Sing
Don't expect warm wishes when your doorbell starts to ring ...
[Ding dong]

Hey Jehovah's Witnesses
Merry Fucking Christmas
Reach inside your assholes
And pull out those big stickses
In case you haven't noticed
It's Jesus's Birthday
So get off your moral high horse
And fucking celebrate

Now Jesus came from Israel, that's right, he was a Jew
Some people won't believe it, but they should, because it's true
He walked around Judea, wearing sandals on his feet
So every Jew today should all be dancing in the street ...

Hey there Mr. Goldstein
Merry Fucking Christmas
Hanukkah's okay if you don't
Mind the dreydel's splinters
[Hava Nagila]
If you want to celebrate
The festival of lights
Plug in your tree and hang a star
And do this season right

Those fans of L. Ron Hubbard are the wackiest of all
Not seeing him for what he is: A charlatan sleaze ball
They trust in their E-Meter, and not in our Holy time
So every Christmas Day I sing this jolly little rhyme ...

Hey there Scientologists
Merry Fucking Christmas
Uncle Sam should take away
Your fucking tax exemption
In case you haven't noticed
Tom Cruise's movies suck
Release his films at Christmas now
And no one gives a fuck

John Travolta, Jenna Elfman, Isaac Hayes too ...
Merry Fucking Christmas to you!
I am fluent in over six million forms of procrastination.
Author
Time
ADM, that's fantastic!

It's a good thing I hit the bathroom before getting online, or I'd have pissed myself laughing.
Author
Time
ENZO! WHERE YOU BEEN?!?!?!???!?!???!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!
I am fluent in over six million forms of procrastination.