Batman: Year One (2011) - Just like The Dark Knight Returns really underwhelming stuff. At least this wasn't stupid. I've not read Frank Miller's comics so maybe the comic versions are amazing, but either they don't translate from page to screen well at all, or the translation is done very poorly; they're so bland and forgettable. Stick with Mask of the Phantasm or Under the Red Hood, those are much more solid animated Batman films.
Why did Catwoman have to be there anyway?
5 out of 10 Bat...things. I dunno.
Gladiator (2000) - Yawn. Y'know, I realize it's hard to do, but: can we just admit that Ridley Scott is not a very good director? People say Alien this and Blade Runner that, but at the end of the day, his filmography has far more stinkers than you (want to) remember. Gladiator is arguably one of them: a bland and overly predictable swords and sandals flick with dated CGI, a bad script, boring characters, poorly shot and edited action scenes and an unnecessarily long running time (just because Ben Hur and Spartacus were long films doesn't mean you have to make your film almost equally as long).
4 out of 10 lines about how disappointed you are in your son.
Man on Fire (2004) - Despite a very strong first act that focuses almost exclusively on the relationship between Denzel Washington and Dakota Fanning's characters, once the inevitable kidnapping starts it turns into a(n even more) simplistic and obnoxiously edited version of Taken. It has possibly some of the most annoying editing I've seen in a film since Moulin Rouge!. Despite the solid acting and first act, I can't help but kind of hate this.
4.9 out of 10 Creasy bears.
The Rock (1996) - A great action film. I keep forgetting Michael Biehn is in this, and he's really good in the limited amount of screen time he's given. There are enough Cage-isms and Connery "f*ckin' idiot"s here to keep you entertained, despite its duller moments in the first act.
Also, gotta love that car chase.
8 out of 10 green balls.
Hannibal (2001) - Delightfully stupid. Cartoony gore, Hopkins and Oldman duking it out in a ham-off (and - to my surprise - Oldman ends up winning), some of unnecessarily funny moments, and a giant gaping plothole: how the hell is Hannibal Lecter, a man just placed on the FBI's Ten Most Wanted list, able to travel by plane...TWICE? Even with this film's nonsensical logic, that's a stretch. Kind of weird Scott was picked to direct this anyway, his style is almost a complete opposite to Jonathan Demme's. It's a guilty pleasure.
4.2 out of 10 man-eating pigs.