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KENOBI: A STAR WARS STORY [RELEASED] [5.1 Surround] — Page 9

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revel911 said:

leftshoe18 said:

Anjohan said:

Video Update

https://streamable.com/uukjme

Tell me if you think this works. I did some re-editing to make the droid save Obi-Wan quicker, as suggested by Acbagel, and then re-structured the line (that i actually had removed from earlier) “The years have made you weak” with a slowed-down and disappoined “Obi-Wan” at the end of it. The purpose is to almost make Vader give up an immediate hunt because he is disappointed - but without it feeling to on the nose with something like “Escape. I will find you” or some clichè line you’ve heard in countless films and series.

I like this but I think you should cut the “obi-wan” out of Vader’s final words there simply ending on “weak”

The Obi-Wan on the end makes it feel very stitched together.

Or put Obiwan at the beginning

Could try that. I’ll see if it sounds better, or just remove Obi-Wan altogether. I could also make the “Obi-Wan” come in a tad quicker.

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I like Acbagel cut better for it feels more like Vader is actually trying to catch Kenobi (force extinguishing the fire a second time after an explosion that makes the fire bigger and harder to force jump across). Also, Vader saying nothing feels more in character to me than talking to no one. Vader is not a big talker.

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 (Edited)

PodracingThisIs91 said:

I like Acbagel cut better for it feels more like Vader is actually trying to catch Kenobi (force extinguishing the fire a second time after an explosion that makes the fire bigger and harder to force jump across). Also, Vader saying nothing feels more in character to me than talking to no one. Vader is not a big talker.

I see your point, but I won’t do that. I think it diminishes Vader’s abilities if he is unable to get Kenobi in this situation. He extinguished the flames ten seconds prior to the second fire. In my eyes, if Vader actually really want to get him in this scene, he is - as far as I’m concerned - highly incompetent, which I don’t want him to be. He could extinguish the fires. He could force push or grab the droid. He could’ve summoned the three Inquisitors through the force to immediately hunt down Obi-Wan and Tala in their obvious route of escape through the canyon’s, listening and sensing for Obi-Wan’s screams in agony and presence. He could do a high leap over the flames. He could even throw over some of his own Stormtroopers if necessary. And on and on it goes.

Perhaps the line is not the best fit, but it does clarify - imo - that he is disappointed and will proceed his hunt when Kenobi has regained some of his confidence. The kill would not be a satisfactory one - as of yet.

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Anjohan said:
I see your point, but I won’t do that. I think it diminishes Vader’s abilities if he is unable to get Kenobi in this situation. He extinguished the flames ten seconds prior to the second fire. In my eyes, if Vader actually really want to get him in this scene, he is - as far as I’m concerned - highly incompetent, which I don’t want him to be. He could extinguish the fires. He could force push or grab the droid. He could’ve summoned the three Inquisitors through the force to immediately hunt down Obi-Wan and Tala in their obvious route of escape through the canyon’s, listening and sensing for Obi-Wan’s screams in agony and presence. He could do a high leap over the flames. He could even throw over some of his own Stormtroopers if necessary. And on and on it goes.

Perhaps the line is not the best fit, but it does clarify - imo - that he is disappointed and will proceed his hunt when Kenobi has regained some of his confidence. The kill would not be a satisfactory one - as of yet.

I agree with your assessment, given how the original episode plays out. They could and should‘ve written this scene different, you wrote down all the possible scenarios.
So we (you) have to work with what was given and therefore your choice makes the most sense.

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leftshoe18 said:

Anjohan said:

Video Update

https://streamable.com/uukjme

Tell me if you think this works. I did some re-editing to make the droid save Obi-Wan quicker, as suggested by Acbagel, and then re-structured the line (that i actually had removed from earlier) “The years have made you weak” with a slowed-down and disappoined “Obi-Wan” at the end of it. The purpose is to almost make Vader give up an immediate hunt because he is disappointed - but without it feeling to on the nose with something like “Escape. I will find you” or some clichè line you’ve heard in countless films and series.

I like this but I think you should cut the “obi-wan” out of Vader’s final words there simply ending on “weak”

The Obi-Wan on the end makes it feel very stitched together.

Agreed, that “Obi-Wan” line sounds a bit strange to me. But the scene now works really, really well, much better than the actual scene of the show. This, along with the cut off of Vader talking to Reva in episode 4, certainly will made Vader competent again.

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 (Edited)

Good to hear, guys. Then we’ll keep it that way.

Second attempt at the line WITH Obi-Wan added. If the “Obi-Wan” still feels out of place I can remove it. To me the line feels more complete with it, but to each their own.

https://streamable.com/uv5jsn

Second update:

Also, this is a scene i did after ep 2, and the intention is to build The Force theme throughout the film. It starts very light and unfinished, and by the time Obi-Wan becomes his former self the theme grows stronger with him.

This is also the first time in the film I use a Prequel score, to build some suspense and adventure as Obi-Wan embarks on his new oath to protect the second child (35th minute in film structure).

https://streamable.com/6wnzw2

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I think that the music used in both scenes is great, and the “Obi-Wan” line certainly sounds more natural now.

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 (Edited)

Anjohan said:

Good to hear, guys. Then we’ll keep it that way.

Second attempt at the line WITH Obi-Wan added. If the “Obi-Wan” still feels out of place I can remove it. To me the line feels more complete with it, but to each their own.

https://streamable.com/uv5jsn

A suggestion as i still have the feeling the rescue is kind of slow and vader could do anything. Given the source material i think cutting the shot of the approaching droid (0:05 - 0:06) could further enhance the pace.
Despite that, your choice tries to get the most out of the source.

Second update:

Also, this is a scene i did after ep 2, and the intention is to build The Force theme throughout the film. It starts very light and unfinished, and by the time Obi-Wan becomes his former self the theme grows stronger with him.

This is also the first time in the film I use a Prequel score, to build some suspense and adventure as Obi-Wan embarks on his new oath to protect the second child (35th minute in film structure).

https://streamable.com/6wnzw2

Really like that rescore 😃

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Cheers Sirius and CMMAP.

I’ll look into removing that one shot when I get back to the computer!

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That version of the “obi-wan” sounds way more natural now!

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I apologize if I missed it, but Bingowings suggested in another thread that eliminating most if not all of episode 2 and three, and just have Obi-Wan going straight to the fortress corrects a lot of problems. Yes, it eliminates the Vader fight, but I guess he agrees with me in that it wasn’t very good. Just my opinion.

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mrbenja0618 said:

I apologize if I missed it, but Bingowings suggested in another thread that eliminating most if not all of episode 2 and three, and just have Obi-Wan going straight to the fortress corrects a lot of problems. Yes, it eliminates the Vader fight, but I guess he agrees with me in that it wasn’t very good. Just my opinion.

It was never meant to be a fight … where it succeeded was obi fearing Vader … I thought that was much better than how bad episode 4 was.

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revel911 said:

mrbenja0618 said:

I apologize if I missed it, but Bingowings suggested in another thread that eliminating most if not all of episode 2 and three, and just have Obi-Wan going straight to the fortress corrects a lot of problems. Yes, it eliminates the Vader fight, but I guess he agrees with me in that it wasn’t very good. Just my opinion.

It was never meant to be a fight … where it succeeded was obi fearing Vader … I thought that was much better than how bad episode 4 was.

This is how I interpret it as well.

As for the removal of EP 2 and 3, that could actually work. Tala could be a character that Obi-Wan just knows, her first scene with him could be in the ship on their way to the Mustafar System with him testing his force powers.

However, this would have to be someone else’s fanedit as it becomes too radical for the purposes of this one; which is to tone down dumb stuff and increase pace, emotion and (musical) continuity.

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I appreciate the rescoring so far but there are two things that stand out.

  • The burst of “Duel of The Fates” when she fires does not fit.

  • When Obi’s leaving “The Force” theme’s integration feels a little thrown in, maybe if its a bit extended with the shot of him walking towards the ship or at least given time to breath a bit before the next score, that might work. Another possibility might be to use another source of the force theme.

An alternate source can be found here that integrates a previous rendition of Obi’s theme from ANH: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qStbSfFK9b0&ab_channel=EverythingStarWars

As for editing

  • I think in Acbagel’s cut the single shot piercing the storm trooper and igniting the barrels flows better and gives the action a lot more surprise/justification (not to mention bad ass skill) for Vader’s hesitancy. I agree that “the putting the fire out/reusing shots” feels a bit like a stretch, but with a bit more trimming there can almost be equal parts surprise and actual decision to let him go on Vader’s part.

  • In the shot of Obi arriving on the city planet there are sith whispers for some reason. I’m not sure why or what the reasoning is for them.

I AM LOVING the score of Obi burning to the score of Ani burning, I got a bit emotional just watching that small segment. I can only imagine how much better it will flow with the whole thing.

P.S. Ever since I started watching this show I wanted to hear a very particular theme for Obi-wan that has always without fail given me chills. The small motif at the beginning of The Force theme has been used in the Originals of course but also in Rebels to signify Obi-wan.

Maybe take a look and see if you feel it fits in at some points, I certainly feel like it would evoke the feeling of Obi wan on Tatooine beginning his journey into Alec Guinness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eb2zuegwcwk&ab_channel=JorahtheAndal

P.P.S. Here are all renditions of the force theme so far: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkWjppI1SiM&ab_channel=StarWarsOpinion

This is the way.

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Best episode so far? Love that Hayden gets to show his face (even if it wasn’t de aged), love that the flashback fight happened around Attack of the Clones love the reveal with Reva (CALLED IT, BTW!!!), love getting to see Vader dual wield, love Tala’s death scene (it’s kind of astounding how I cared about Tala more than almost anyone else introduced in the Disney canon lately), love Kingo’s return, just a lot to love in this episode.

Probably justifies cutting out Part IV in your edit, lol.

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 (Edited)

Part IV has to be cut. Episode 5 was decent enough. Gotta trim stuff for sure. A lot of things looked like a B movie, and there were some deliveries that were off.

The flashback with Anakin will probably be included when he’s in the Bacta Tank. I’ll also have to take a look at deepfaking his face. Or perhaps someone on YouTube will do it for me/for us.

This was episode 5, and the narrative overall has been very underwhelming thus far. Although the episode on its own was okay, the pay-off for FOUR episodes of literally two plot lines is just… pathetic?

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Yeah I liked this episode (relatively), but everything significant that happened here should have happened around episodes 2 or 3 and on. Reva’s character motivation and Obi Wan and Anakin/Vader actually having moments together.

I really don’t like that they’re continuing to repeat beats from everything else. It probably is intentional at this point. This episode is of course a repeat of the Battle of Hoth and The Last Jedi also copying the Battle of Hoth.

And Obi Wan again is not showing very much agency in his own show, he just sort of moves along with whatever everybody else is doing and doesn’t talk very much.

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Vladius said:

And Obi Wan again is not showing very much agency in his own show, he just sort of moves along with whatever everybody else is doing and doesn’t talk very much.

I dont mind that sense Obi right now has lost his way. If they do a season 2, hopefully it is the more sure footed Obi.

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 (Edited)

Depending on what they do in episode 6, it may be best to end a movie edit with episode 5. The Reeva character’s death here may be the best option we get, just cut her final moments with the communicator. I just completed a movie workprint for eps 1-5 and the length is exactly 2 hours 2 min. For me, I am quite satisfied with the movie I was able to get out of these 5 episodes. I am over the moon with Ewan’s performance at times, and using the edit to fix some of the bad writing and editing, it isn’t that bad of a TV movie. Nearly on par with Attack of the Clones in my opinion.

I have a feeling, that Reeva finding the communicator and now knowing about Luke, was about setting up season 2 which will take place entirely on Tatooine with Reeva as the Antagonist. I don’t think we see her in episode 6.

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Anjohan said:

Dark Deeds & Piano Theme, with Sith Whispers:

https://streamable.com/5uz2sr

Might this be more preferable?

CMMAP said:
Although the piano theme does have a nice ring, i think the horror is missing with it. But ultimately it´s your edit.
Anakins dark deeds could work, though.

But isn’t Anakin’s actions horrifying enough, and the sadness in the music just a representation of Obi-Wan’s feelings in that moment? I always feel like Obi-Wan is heartbroken watching this, more heartbroken than scared.

I also think the Piano Theme would be a nice theme for the film, coming back at the end.

The piano theme with the whispers sets such a mood where it feels as though it’s gut wrenching. I loved it.

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I’m wondering, if you cut out episode four entirely, how will you work around how the Empire was able to track down Obi-Wan and Leia? The tracking device was in Leia’s droid, plus the little droid was responsible for shutting the door; if you excise episode four, would it not create an inconsistency / continuity error?

I second your call for a ‘deepfake’ of Anakin! I was surprised to see the current-day Hayden in that scene as opposed to an AOTC-era Hayden; it would have looked great if there was a ‘de-ageing’ process applied!

Another thought (for a different fan edit): could the flashback of Obi-Wan & Anakin be easily incorporated into an AOTC fan edit? It would need the ‘deepfake’ treatment, but I think it would look great if it could be used elsewhere. Also, the ROTS Jedi Temple flashback at the start of episode one would look great in an ROTS fan edit. But, these are thoughts for other fan edits haha!

Anjohan said:

Part IV has to be cut. Episode 5 was decent enough. Gotta trim stuff for sure. A lot of things looked like a B movie, and there were some deliveries that were off.

The flashback with Anakin will probably be included when he’s in the Bacta Tank. I’ll also have to take a look at deepfaking his face. Or perhaps someone on YouTube will do it for me/for us.

This was episode 5, and the narrative overall has been very underwhelming thus far. Although the episode on its own was okay, the pay-off for FOUR episodes of literally two plot lines is just… pathetic?

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Anjohan said:

Good to hear, guys. Then we’ll keep it that way.

Second attempt at the line WITH Obi-Wan added. If the “Obi-Wan” still feels out of place I can remove it. To me the line feels more complete with it, but to each their own.

https://streamable.com/uv5jsn

Honestly, the problem I have is that that line reading of “Obi-Wan” in the episode feels a little off. It’s one of the moments the AI voice processing stands out more to me than usual.
For this edit though, it might help to space the “Obi-Wan” out a little further from the rest of the sentence. Probably not as long a pause as the previous version, since the reading is faster, but somewhere in the middle.
I agree that the scene plays better with Vader’s motivation made clearer like this, good stuff.

Second update:

Also, this is a scene i did after ep 2, and the intention is to build The Force theme throughout the film. It starts very light and unfinished, and by the time Obi-Wan becomes his former self the theme grows stronger with him.

This is also the first time in the film I use a Prequel score, to build some suspense and adventure as Obi-Wan embarks on his new oath to protect the second child (35th minute in film structure).

https://streamable.com/6wnzw2

Love this rescore and cut too, great work.

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I give ep5 a 6/10…For me and I haven’t seen anyone touch on this but for me it was literally hard to watch…THE SHAKY CAM! MY GOD…It almost makes me cry how frustrating this show makes me with how much better it could look and feel. EVERY SINGLE INTENSE HAS THE CAMERA MAN ON A TRAMPOLINE. I don’t think there can be anything done about that except if someone puts in a tiny bit of stabilization in the hallway scene, kinda a long shot, I dunno.

  • As for the deepfake situation. ABSOLUTELY wait for Shamook (the guy hired for Luke in Boba Fett) to release a deepfake of the scene, I’m certain he will do something with it. We might be able to get a hold of him and ask for the resources to implement ourselves. We have seen him around on the site before and he has helped us. Also might be a long shot but worth a try. I used his resources for Luke in Mando S1 to edit the deepfake into the full ep before, and I’m pretty sure I can do it again.

  • I think a little bit of color grading would help cement the flash back scene into the feel of the prequels. To me the shots looked a bit too much like a studio. maybe if it was changed to golden hour or dawn that might i dunno bring out the Coruscant-iness

  • On top of everything else everyone will be talking about regarding editing, I think the shots of the ships however we edit them should be slowed down a tiny bit. they moved wayyy to quickly to look right. they looked like they were made of paper.

Better episode, still disappointed overall…ON THE BRIGHT SIDE I have come to terms with the fact this show is PERFECT for a fan edit and I know we will be able to raise the quality to what it can be.

This is the way.

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Great points made by everyone. Been thinking about the changes I will need to make. Sitting her with a fever and the flu I suspect is corona again, I can’t bother to sit down and edit right now, but:

Things I will change:

  • Reeva attempting to kill Vader will be the thing to interrupt him from grabbing the second ship, so there are no inconsistencies to his actions to leave Vader looking silly or with a drained stamina bar.

  • Episode 4 might have to be included (as I struggle to find a believable way to have the ship be tracked) without episode 4. Episode 4 also builds heavily upon Tala’s character (which they killed too early you ask me).

  • Reeva won’t get back up and crawl to the holo-communicator-thingy, we’ll leave her wounded, with the camera panning down to it. The rest can happen off-screen (for what I suspect to be the season 2 change rumored that Disney has done).

  • Leia “The Engineer” reaching the wires and then fixing it will happen without a five minute gap. It looks like she’s struggling to move away wires for way too long.

  • Removing some of the prolonged shots in which Stormtroopers have way too much time on their hands to actually kill civilians but just… don’t.

And probably more.

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jrs81 said:

Depending on what they do in episode 6, it may be best to end a movie edit with episode 5. The Reeva character’s death here may be the best option we get, just cut her final moments with the communicator. I just completed a movie workprint for eps 1-5 and the length is exactly 2 hours 2 min. For me, I am quite satisfied with the movie I was able to get out of these 5 episodes. I am over the moon with Ewan’s performance at times, and using the edit to fix some of the bad writing and editing, it isn’t that bad of a TV movie. Nearly on par with Attack of the Clones in my opinion.

I have a feeling, that Reeva finding the communicator and now knowing about Luke, was about setting up season 2 which will take place entirely on Tatooine with Reeva as the Antagonist. I don’t think we see her in episode 6.

You are not selling me with that last statement.