This edit was fantastic. I love most of your creative changes, even the bold ones. Your boldest cut, cutting one of the two kidnappings, was necessary for the flow of a 2-hour film format, so I very much approve. The whole edit was very satisfying and emotionally resonant.
Some positives are that you made Reva much more intimidating by taking the “less is more” approach by having her yell less. She’s a worthy villain now.
I also like that, somehow, you have mitigated the overall ‘cheap’ feel of the production. Not quite film quality, but much better nonetheless.
I’m happy that you kept the Owen and Luke scene in the end. In my opinion it fits seamlessly given the conversation between Obi-Wan and Owen near the beginning of the film.
I did take notes while I watched, so if you ever do a v2, you can take these into consideration:
-In the saloon scene, where the Grand Inquisitor says the way to hunt Jedi is with patience, I believe Reva should still throw the knife, because it’s an effective means of drawing out the Jedi. That way, it’s a “show don’t tell” moment where, instead of a long, nonsensical speech from the Grand Inquisitor about the weakness of Jedi compassion, it is shown that the Jedi will indeed intervene to prevent someone coming into harm’s way. I feel strongly that you should keep the knife throw, because it says a lot about Reva’s character in a very brief instance.
-During the scene where Leia is kidnapped, keep the kidnapper’s answer when Leia asks him what he’s waiting for. Have him reply “for you” right before the sack goes over her head. I say that because it’s quite a frightening shot of him (I also just think it works better). Also, as you have it now, you can see the kidnapper’s mouth still moving even though he’s not saying anything.
-Reva repeats later that “the Jedi hunt themselves”. This line doesn’t work because it only makes sense if someone explains it first, but you’ve already cut the lame explanation given by the Grand Inquisitor. (Also, she wouldn’t quote the Grand Inquisitor; she doesn’t like or respect him at all, so why is she seemingly emulating him).
-Obi Wan asking Haja for help: I like the old version better. The old exchange is very abrupt, admittedly, but the new exchange just has Haja making weird facial expressions without saying anything. I think some kind of hybrid of the two versions would work best. Make it less abrupt, but have him still SAY he will help. And again, like the kidnapper scene, you can still see Obi Wan’s mouth move even though he’s not saying anything.
I’ll also add that I believe keeping the “making amends” line is appropriate. It helps to reassure Obi Wan, at the very least.
-In the escape scene, I can’t believe you cut out the part where Obi Wan was holding the glass in place to keep the water out. That part was frickin’ cool! Maybe it was too badass given that Obi Wan is just rediscovering his powers, but still…it was cool! Keep it!
-The audio transition between the Grand Inquisitor calling Reva “…The least of us,” and her saying “I want every lowlife…” is really confusing. Why does the audio have to bleed into previous shot like that? I just don’t think it works because the viewer thinks she is in the same scene saying that line rather than realizing it’s part of the next scene.
-Why does Kenobi ask Leia “How old are you?” when he was present for her birth? I get that the line is meant to be playful, but I already think Leia is a little overcooked when it comes to Disney trying to portray her as unrealistically precocious.
-The “Who’s in the gutter now?” line after Reva impales the GI doesn’t make sense because it doesn’t call back to anything. The GI mentions it only LATER, but that only adds to the confusion. I think it’s more badass if she kills him without saying anything anyway, i.e, more ruthless and cold.
-On the mining planet, Obi Wan snaps at Leia twice in a way that I find very out of character for the stoic and composed Obi Wan. This is with the “People are not all good Leia” and the “No one is coming here” lines. It is not in Obi-Wan’s character to he this negative and irritable (even if he has been having a rough few years).
-The vision Obi Wan sees of Anakin on the mining planet doesn’t really make sense or serve much of a purpose. It could just be his PTSD, but people can’t really relate to this sort of thing unless they’ve had PTSD themselves. There’s just not enough context for it, so it seems weird.
-The “Nothing wrong with a little order, right?” line seems a little on the nose. I also can’t shake the feeling that the depiction of the driver is just Disney’s idea of every Trump voter in existence.
-Obi Wan goofing and calling Leia by her real name in front of the stormtroopers is incredibly careless and stupid. He’s not that dumb (and never would have made that kind of mistake in the PT or TCW). I believe you can cut it out and still keep the conversation they later have about Padme afterwards. I also like the depiction of the stormtroopers as just regular military guys doing their mundane jobs and not being very invested. I feel like that’s lost when they start interrogating him a little harder over having called her the wrong name.
-Is it possible to use VFX to heighten the gate? I mean, you can see that it would just be so easy to walk around.
-When Tala comes and Obi Wan is ordered to the ground, HE’S STILL HOLDING AND POINTING HIS BLASTER! Perhaps the blaster could be cropped out?? It’s dumb that the officers wouldn’t have immediately ordered him to drop his blaster.
-As a general comment, there is simply too much time spent on the mining planet (before the confrontation with Vader), and the film starts to drag. I feel like there are definitely cuts to be made to tighten up this part of the film and keep the pace going.
-Just as an idea: When Obi-wan is saying sorry to Anakin and starts to cry, maybe have flashbacks to young Anakin from TPM. It could be argued that he was done dirty by the Jedi, and that’s where it all started. He was taken from his home and his mother, and then immediately Mace Windu, Yoda, and the other Jedi rejected him, meaning Anakin was more or less abandoned from the get to, i.e., he leaves his mom, the Jedi Council rejects him, Qui Gon dies, and Obi-Wan (at the time) was very reluctant to take him on. On behalf of himself and the Jedi, Obi-Wan indeed has a lot to be sorry for.
-I still have no problem with the “Then my friend is truly dead” line and still think it should be reinstated. It completes Obi-Wan’s emotional journey of ‘letting go’ by accepting that Anakin is indeed gone. It’s a powerful moment that ties well to ANH.
-On a minor note, at 2:15:39 the music transition seems rough.
Once again, great edit. Thank you for taking the time to read.
these are all pretty solid notes i tend to agree with most of it.