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KENOBI: A STAR WARS STORY [RELEASED] [5.1 Surround] — Page 22

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Anjohan said:

The only way I could see the smoothening of that is to remove Haja going “You can trust me” and “Definitely”, and instead try to restructure it after Obi-Wan’s “Can I trust you?” to Haja looking at him, either concerned or thoughtful.

I like that a lot

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 (Edited)

You could cut the whole swimming scene and go directly to the stormtrooper opening the door and Obi-Wan choking him out. You can assume he’s wet from being in the “sewers”.

Order the scenes as:

  • Obi confronts Haja
  • Obi in the streets
  • Random creatures
  • Elevator
  • Imperials monitoring the computers
  • Stormtrooper opening door and Obi’s: "I’m in’

This will also help to explain why he didn’t have to swim back with Leia.

Shorten Haja’s dialogue to Obi in the streets:
“Alright if it’s the sewers you want there’s only one place to go. I’ll buy you as much time as I can.”

Let’s not have Haja spell out his “making amends” intentions to the audience like we’re too dumb to understand.

Edit: Haja is a Jedi fanboy. Of course he wants to help a real one.

The Skywalker Saga:
I / II / III / IV / V / VI / VII / VIII / IX
This is the way.

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So, what I did was that I re-made the opening in the spirit of NFBisms’s opening, and completely stole his first 90 seconds (because it marvelously sets the tone) and some tidbits throughout. Then the soundtrack slowly gets introduced (only the real somber tones) as we build up to a kind of PTSD-climax.

https://streamable.com/fujjec

I really enjoy the opening as it has come together. One thing I noticed while watching, is there is a double horn that feels out of place at the 4:15 mark. You might consider tightening that up. (For comparison, at 1:50 mark there is only one horn.)

Yeah, the plot kinda jumps a little quick on Haja helping Obi-Wan both in the original and here. Although I think it works better now, considering he’s telling us his motivations for doing so (which he does not do in EP2 - at least not until way after the rescue of Leia). And then it feels… odd.

The only way I could see the smoothening of that is to remove Haja going “You can trust me” and “Definitely”, and instead try to restructure it after Obi-Wan’s “Can I trust you?” to Haja looking at him, either concerned or thoughtful.

I also agree, with Haja’s “switch” being a bit jarring. The progress of the edits has made it a cleaner, but still feels like there is some tweaking that can be done to make the “switch” less of a MacGuffin. “Have I’ve made a few bad decisions, sure” (or other parts of the exchange towards the end of Ep 2), might fit better as a follow up response after “You can trust me”. Also feels a bit weird that Haja would provide that motivation over the communicator.

Regardless of where those thoughts end up, I’m excited to see the final product!

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So, I had a thought today which is going to be REALLY funny since I was talking mad crap about those original “fishtank” shots you had used in the original sewer entrance idea. But WHAT IF…

You turned those shots 90 degrees so that the movement of them go up and down rather than side to side and zoom them in a bit, add motion blur, color correct it so it looks like they’re chilling in the murky Nur water, add a water overlay to sell the effect more, and then put in some elevator and submerged sound effects to make it seem like this is part of Obi-Wan’s elevator trip down into under the city?

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Anjohan said:

I was wondering if perhaps the emotional climax of Obi-Wan and Leia’s reunion at Alderaan would have an even bigger impact if Obi-Wan leaves her on the ship when she’s upset that he is to leave and runs off?

And then I also think that Leia sneaking Lola into his pocket would be even more emotional based on that change as well, as it tells us as the audience that even if she’s upset with Obi-Wan abandoning her on the ship, she still understands and wants him to remember her and feel safe.

It shows great character imo, and it leaves us as the audience feeling unresolved up until they reunite on Alderaan.

JEDIT:

Only issue is that she holds Lola in her hand as she’s upset and runs off. I could crop the footage to keep her out tho’. Can’t rotoscope it without wasting one year of my life.

I have a problem, generally, with how Kenobi is routinely made to look like in idiot. Up until this series, Kenobi was highly competent, thoughtful, intelligent, stoic, level-headed, steadfast, and reliable. He retains some of this in the new series, but his character is wildly inconsistent from scene to scene. My problem with the scene you are referring to, is that neither Obi-Wan nor Leia are being true to their actual characters. Leia is often presented as an adult in a child’s body, and Kenobi is often depicted as a clueless, bumbling idiot. I don’t remember the details of this scene that well, but I remember thinking it was pretty cringe for that reason.

Someone pointed out to me that Kenobi resembles the biblical Job. Kenobi is a good man who loses everything and is pushed beyond the limits of what anyone should have to endure. Rather than being weak, or stupid—as this series sometimes depicts him—he’s actually a very strong and capable man albeit saddled with a tremendous amount of adversity. I think that fact should always be kept in mind.

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DZ-330 said:

Just a shower thought…

Can Obi’s:
“Then my friend is truly dead. Goodbye, Darth.”

Be edited to:
“My friend is not dead. Goodbye, Darth”

This can help to explain why Obi leaves and does not kill him. It will also explain Vader’s line of “Obi-Wan once thought as you do” in ROTJ.

Too bad we can’t have tie fighters launching from the Star Destroying and arriving just as Obi-Wan is about to kill Vader. Reinforcements arriving could provide a reason that Obi-Wan needs to leave. We see tie fighters or the grand inquisitor approaching through the clouds. Something like this:

https://youtu.be/UxnlZbF8y-8

Or what about recoloring the “apocalypse now” tie fighter sunset approach from the Force Awakens to look like a moon, rather than a Sun?
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ca/5f/02/ca5f024f484ca8d63cd01b31588185b6.jpg

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Anjohan said:

The only way I could see the smoothening of that is to remove Haja going “You can trust me” and “Definitely”, and instead try to restructure it after Obi-Wan’s “Can I trust you?” to Haja looking at him, either concerned or thoughtful.

Yeah, I like that.

DZ-330 said:

You could cut the whole swimming scene and go directly to the stormtrooper opening the door and Obi-Wan choking him out. You can assume he’s wet from being in the “sewers”.

Order the scenes as:

  • Obi confronts Haja
  • Obi in the streets
  • Random creatures
  • Elevator
  • Imperials monitoring the computers
  • Stormtrooper opening door and Obi’s: "I’m in’

This will also help to explain why he didn’t have to swim back with Leia.

Shorten Haja’s dialogue to Obi in the streets:
“Alright if it’s the sewers you want there’s only one place to go. I’ll buy you as much time as I can.”

Let’s not have Haja spell out his “making amends” intentions to the audience like we’re too dumb to understand.

Edit: Haja is a Jedi fanboy. Of course he wants to help a real one.

I think that could also work, as we see the that they are underwater in the monitoring scene. Also Kenobi is on fully dry clothes, not soaking wet ones, as he should be. (I know, I know, “It aint that kind of movie, kid”, but still.)

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DZ-330 said:

You could cut the whole swimming scene and go directly to the stormtrooper opening the door and Obi-Wan choking him out. You can assume he’s wet from being in the “sewers”.

Order the scenes as:

  • Obi confronts Haja
  • Obi in the streets
  • Random creatures
  • Elevator
  • Imperials monitoring the computers
  • Stormtrooper opening door and Obi’s: "I’m in’

This will also help to explain why he didn’t have to swim back with Leia.

Shorten Haja’s dialogue to Obi in the streets:
“Alright if it’s the sewers you want there’s only one place to go. I’ll buy you as much time as I can.”

Let’s not have Haja spell out his “making amends” intentions to the audience like we’re too dumb to understand.

Edit: Haja is a Jedi fanboy. Of course he wants to help a real one.

This is fantastic!
The removal of Haja saying “taking a break”, as well as “making amends” would be great editing choices, as Obi-Wan didn’t ask Haja for that information, so including it at that point in the movie would be unnecessary exposition.

Phantom Menace - Streamlined fan edit:
https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/The-Phantom-Menace-Streamlined-finished-and-released/id/98999

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GLogus said:

I have a problem, generally, with how Kenobi is routinely made to look like in idiot. Up until this series, Kenobi was highly competent, thoughtful, intelligent, stoic, level-headed, steadfast, and reliable. He retains some of this in the new series, but his character is wildly inconsistent from scene to scene. My problem with the scene you are referring to, is that neither Obi-Wan nor Leia are being true to their actual characters. Leia is often presented as an adult in a child’s body, and Kenobi is often depicted as a clueless, bumbling idiot. I don’t remember the details of this scene that well, but I remember thinking it was pretty cringe for that reason.

Agreed! This seems to be the Disney method of writing, which can be seen in their other series too.
In “The Book Of Boba Fett”, we get ‘dumb Boba / smart Fennec’, in this series, Disney have gone too far in making Obi-Wan look lost, weak and pathetic. Instead of showing a man who has suffered trauma, with the associated mental and emotional health issues that go along with that, Disney have pushed it a bit too far – Obi-Wan in this series is nothing like what we have seen in the original films I-VI.

Phantom Menace - Streamlined fan edit:
https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/The-Phantom-Menace-Streamlined-finished-and-released/id/98999

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Really looking for a miracle here, but do you think there’s any way to have the elements from the article below incorporated? Perhaps with a clever use of the Reva flashback scenes?

The only thing would be to have Obi-wan tell her Anakin is Darth Vader, not sure if we have enough dialogue somewhere to construct that phrase? I have tools to change inflection of words, so perhaps there’s a franken-edit that could work.

https://thedirect.com/article/obi-wan-kenobi-reva-killed-script-exclusive

I would make immensely more sense to have Obi tell Reva that Darth Vader is Anakin, and her deciding to sacrifice herself to let them leave with the ship in ep. 5

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thevarsek said:

Really looking for a miracle here, but do you think there’s any way to have the elements from the article below incorporated? Perhaps with a clever use of the Reva flashback scenes?

The only thing would be to have Obi-wan tell her Anakin is Darth Vader, not sure if we have enough dialogue somewhere to construct that phrase? I have tools to change inflection of words, so perhaps there’s a franken-edit that could work.

https://thedirect.com/article/obi-wan-kenobi-reva-killed-script-exclusive

I would make immensely more sense to have Obi tell Reva that Darth Vader is Anakin, and her deciding to sacrifice herself to let them leave with the ship in ep. 5

I disagreed after episode 5 where Obi confronted on “how” she knew. To me that, that changed everything.

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There have been some excellent posts around here adressing certain character flaws if you will, and although I am very close to a release now (praise the maker!), there is still a lot of adjusting to do (I won’t bother to release a product I’m only 99% satisfied with).

So, I expect release date to be between 4th-10th of July.

Things left to do:

  • A few tweaks to the opening (mainly audio smoothening) -> Already done some changes to the overall pacing
  • Smooth Haja’s abrupt and sudden switch to “i’m gonna help you” (we talked about it above/previous page)
  • Remove some inconsistencies with the characters (mostly Obi-Wan &Leia - recent discussion up above made me realize three things I wanted to change - mainly scenes where Obi-Wan either look rather clueless or helpless - simply remove reaction shots or unwarranted questions)

Also, Ive replaced the elevator with something less “sci-fi” (as someone thought it to be) and I think it looks splendid.

There’s probably a lot more to mention, but we’re getting close!

And thank you all for your brilliant ideas, suggestions and feedback!

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Anjohan said:

There have been some excellent posts around here adressing certain character flaws if you will, and although I am very close to a release now (praise the maker!), there is still a lot of adjusting to do (I won’t bother to release a product I’m only 99% satisfied with).

So, I expect release date to be between 4th-10th of July.

Things left to do:

  • A few tweaks to the opening (mainly audio smoothening) -> Already done some changes to the overall pacing
  • Smooth Haja’s abrupt and sudden switch to “i’m gonna help you” (we talked about it above/previous page)
  • Remove some inconsistencies with the characters (mostly Obi-Wan &Leia - recent discussion up above made me realize three things I wanted to change - mainly scenes where Obi-Wan either look rather clueless or helpless - simply remove reaction shots or unwarranted questions)

Also, Ive replaced the elevator with something less “sci-fi” (as someone thought it to be) and I think it looks splendid.

There’s probably a lot more to mention, but we’re getting close!

And thank you all for your brilliant ideas, suggestions and feedback!

Just chiming in for the first time and created an account to throw my 2 cents. Hello There!

Everything you’ve been doing has been excellent so far and I can’t wait to see the finished product. I’m not sure if it’s been discussed here yet but has any thought been given to altering Vader taking down the decoy ship in Ep. 5?

I love that he took it down and everything but thought that the real ship being right behind it made the awesome moment fall a bit flat.

How I would go about it is if he takes down the first ship like normal, and then when the other ship takes off he begins to pull it down but cut to fancy blinking lights in the shaking cockpit (using other footage I and others can look for) and it just manages to pull away but with damage to the ship. This would be another way to explain why the ship’s hyperdrive is damaged apart from evil Lola.

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Commander_Vimes said:

Anjohan said:

There have been some excellent posts around here adressing certain character flaws if you will, and although I am very close to a release now (praise the maker!), there is still a lot of adjusting to do (I won’t bother to release a product I’m only 99% satisfied with).

So, I expect release date to be between 4th-10th of July.

Things left to do:

  • A few tweaks to the opening (mainly audio smoothening) -> Already done some changes to the overall pacing
  • Smooth Haja’s abrupt and sudden switch to “i’m gonna help you” (we talked about it above/previous page)
  • Remove some inconsistencies with the characters (mostly Obi-Wan &Leia - recent discussion up above made me realize three things I wanted to change - mainly scenes where Obi-Wan either look rather clueless or helpless - simply remove reaction shots or unwarranted questions)

Also, Ive replaced the elevator with something less “sci-fi” (as someone thought it to be) and I think it looks splendid.

There’s probably a lot more to mention, but we’re getting close!

And thank you all for your brilliant ideas, suggestions and feedback!

Just chiming in for the first time and created an account to throw my 2 cents. Hello There!

Everything you’ve been doing has been excellent so far and I can’t wait to see the finished product. I’m not sure if it’s been discussed here yet but has any thought been given to altering Vader taking down the decoy ship in Ep. 5?

I love that he took it down and everything but thought that the real ship being right behind it made the awesome moment fall a bit flat.

How I would go about it is if he takes down the first ship like normal, and then when the other ship takes off he begins to pull it down but cut to fancy blinking lights in the shaking cockpit (using other footage I and others can look for) and it just manages to pull away but with damage to the ship. This would be another way to explain why the ship’s hyperdrive is damaged apart from evil Lola.

Thank you for that, man. And it’s a great compliment that you made a user account just to come with ideas and give praise. Thank you.

I do see where you’re coming from and I do agree that that would be an improvement. I do not know if it’s feasible due to the lack of footage to work with (mainly the fact that when the second ship takes off it’s simply ONE, long shot) and this would probably require extensive VFX and audio work (which God, I’m kind of exhausted from now doing the new Rescue). But! Let me look into it. It’s definitely a neat idea.

DZ-330 said:

You could cut the whole swimming scene and go directly to the stormtrooper opening the door and Obi-Wan choking him out. You can assume he’s wet from being in the “sewers”.

Order the scenes as:

  • Obi confronts Haja
  • Obi in the streets
  • Random creatures
  • Elevator
  • Imperials monitoring the computers
  • Stormtrooper opening door and Obi’s: "I’m in’

This will also help to explain why he didn’t have to swim back with Leia.

Shorten Haja’s dialogue to Obi in the streets:
“Alright if it’s the sewers you want there’s only one place to go. I’ll buy you as much time as I can.”

Let’s not have Haja spell out his “making amends” intentions to the audience like we’re too dumb to understand.

Edit: Haja is a Jedi fanboy. Of course he wants to help a real one.

I like the underwater sequence, so it’ll stay. It’s a great new scenery to the Star Wars universe, and it has great atmospheric value. Also a kick-ass score. And the reference to the “Sewers” could be more the fact that he has to go down there to gain access to the Imperial Base without being detected (at least that’s my interpretation).

I agree with the “making amends”. It’s going. No need to spoon feed.

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Also, I might release the edit before the 4th. I got some more time on my hands than previously thought.

Jedit:

I’ll release the Stereo 10 GB mp4 first, followed by the 5.1 two or three days later. It’s some extra work to create the 5.1 due to the new audio alterations, and I will have to preview it on my home cinema system.

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Anjohan said:

Also, I might release the edit before the 4th. I got some more time on my hands than previously thought.

Jedit:

I’ll release the Stereo 10 GB mp4 first, followed by the 5.1 two or three days later. It’s some extra work to create the 5.1 due to the new audio alterations, and I will have to preview it on my home cinema system.

hey anjohan, let me know if u have any audio issues you cant solve, i’d be happy to help u tweak anything audio related and have done some stuff for other people in our community cheers

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Anjohan said:

Also, I might release the edit before the 4th. I got some more time on my hands than previously thought.

Jedit:

I’ll release the Stereo 10 GB mp4 first, followed by the 5.1 two or three days later. It’s some extra work to create the 5.1 due to the new audio alterations, and I will have to preview it on my home cinema system.

This is awesome, thanks for all the hard work!

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 (Edited)

Hi Anjohan. I have a small suggestion to make, if possible. I don’t know if you already completed the score of your edit, but I found a cool re-score of the scene where Obi-Wan see a mirage of Anakin in the field, and I think it could be cool to add something like this in it:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mA6gZq5u75A

Although, I think that the beginning of “Padmé’s Ruminations” theme would be even better in this scene. But in my opinion, both are good and could enhance the moment even more than what it is in the show.

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danieldubb said:

Anjohan said:

Also, I might release the edit before the 4th. I got some more time on my hands than previously thought.

Jedit:

I’ll release the Stereo 10 GB mp4 first, followed by the 5.1 two or three days later. It’s some extra work to create the 5.1 due to the new audio alterations, and I will have to preview it on my home cinema system.

hey anjohan, let me know if u have any audio issues you cant solve, i’d be happy to help u tweak anything audio related and have done some stuff for other people in our community cheers

Thank you for that, Daniel. As of right now I have yet to encounter a problem I can’t solve, but if I do now (or in the future) I’ll be sure to send you a PM.

MandThUlti said:

Anjohan said:

Also, I might release the edit before the 4th. I got some more time on my hands than previously thought.

Jedit:

I’ll release the Stereo 10 GB mp4 first, followed by the 5.1 two or three days later. It’s some extra work to create the 5.1 due to the new audio alterations, and I will have to preview it on my home cinema system.

This is awesome, thanks for all the hard work!

Cheers, it’s been a pleasure! Thank you for participating!

Sirius said:

Hi Anjohan. I have a small suggestion to make, if possible. I don’t know if you already completed the score of your edit, but I found a cool re-score of the scene where Obi-Wan see a mirage of Anakin in the field, and I think it could be cool to add something like this in it:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mA6gZq5u75A

Although, I think that the beginning of “Padmé’s Ruminations” theme would be even better in this scene. But in my opinion, both are good and could enhance the moment even more than what it is in the show.

I actually have a score for that scene that I think fits the exact tone - and it is not from the Prequels (which I like, as I use four soundtracks from them already - which I think is enough). But thanks for the suggestion, brother!

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Anjohan said:

Thank you for that, man. And it’s a great compliment that you made a user account just to come with ideas and give praise. Thank you.

I do see where you’re coming from and I do agree that that would be an improvement. I do not know if it’s feasible due to the lack of footage to work with (mainly the fact that when the second ship takes off it’s simply ONE, long shot) and this would probably require extensive VFX and audio work (which God, I’m kind of exhausted from now doing the new Rescue). But! Let me look into it. It’s definitely a neat idea.

Awesome! If you’d like I can try to edit a rough idea of what I mean and send it your way. Whatever I can do to help!

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Anjohan said:

Of course. Just send me a PM.

So I just started looking at the footage and it seems like there will be way too many continuity issues. No downed ship during the wide shot, etc. I think you might be right that it would take a lot of custom VFX to make it right. Certainly beyond my ability. Since we’d probably rather not recycle footage of the first ship being taken down it may be better to leave as is. Kind of a bummer but figured I’d keep you posted. I wasn’t sure if you thought of any ideas since I’m sure you’re more knowledgeable with After Effects/editing than I am.

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Not sure if anyone has brought this up, but for Episode 6:

Right after Obi-wan undocks, have the other ship with Leia goes into hyperspace right away

And when during the last fight scene when Vader puts Obi-Wan into the hole, have him say “Now I have the high ground” maybe someone can make an “audio deep fake” using descript or altered.ai. You may be able to use this for extra lines for other characters like Haja.

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everbake said:

Not sure if anyone has brought this up, but for Episode 6:

Right after Obi-wan undocks, have the other ship with Leia goes into hyperspace right away

And when during the last fight scene when Vader puts Obi-Wan into the hole, have him say “Now I have the high ground” maybe someone can make an “audio deep fake” using descript or altered.ai. You may be able to use this for extra lines for other characters like Haja.

It’s implied without said, that’s WAY better. This is a perfect example of “show, don’t tell.”