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Jokes thread : Reloaded — Page 10

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I feel a bad joke coming on....


What is ancient, purple, and conquered the world?


Alexander the Grape.


*LAME*
I just hate stupid people.

GO JETS!!!!

Petition signer # 34,865
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A little boy wrote to Santa ...

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Claus wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
"May the force be with you!"
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"What is ancient, purple, and conquered the world?"

"Alexander the Grape."

And who is buried in Alexander the Grape's tomb?

Alexander the Raisin.

<span class=“Italics”>MeBeJedi: Sadly, I believe the prequels are beyond repair.
<span class=“Bold”>JediRandy: They’re certainly beyond any repair you’re capable of making.</span></span>

<span class=“Italics”>MeBeJedi: You aren’t one of us.
<span class=“Bold”>Go-Mer-Tonic: I can’t say I find that very disappointing.</span></span>

<span class=“Italics”>JediRandy: I won’t suck as much as a fan edit.</span>

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Speaking of Santa, has anyone heard of Spike and Mike's sick and twisted film festival? It's for the short films that are too edgy for their standard festival of animation.

There was one cartoon where a little boy runs downstairs on christmas morning. He's looking around the christmas tree and sees a present from Santa! He tears it open and looks inside...it's a new pair of shoes! But the boy looks downcast, and becomes quite sad. He looks down, and you see that he has no feet.

The camera then pans over to the window where Santa and Rudolph are watching, trying not to laugh.
If you're going to take forever, then I'm having a hotdog!
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That sounds typical of Spike & Mike's.

Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.

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Who are Spike and Mike?
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
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Two guys from San Diego. Every year they assemble a collection of short animated films and put on a festival that tours around the country. There's a lot of funny ones and a lot of artsy ones. It's like a travelling independent film festival for animated shorts.
If you're going to take forever, then I'm having a hotdog!
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draw your own Dubya !
yes, I'm incorrigible
I saw the original theatrical release of the Old Trilogy on the big screen and I'm proud of it...
How did I accomplish that (considering my age) is my secret...
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Yes, but it's one of many things we like about you. Any chance of an English translation of the pull-downs?

Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.

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I thought that the self-explanatory icons and trial&error method will do, but here it goes (coz I like you too, guys ):

HAIR:
normal
bald
balding
blonde
grey
dark
"I'm not getting bald" type

EYES:
normal
closed
dreamy
drunk
evil
silly
squint
wink
outwards squint

MOUTH:
normal
"mmm is the word"
sad (or maybe angry?)
beard
missing teeth
moustache
skewed teeth
grin
shaving required


"random face" button below
I saw the original theatrical release of the Old Trilogy on the big screen and I'm proud of it...
How did I accomplish that (considering my age) is my secret...
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I could have fun with that for hours.

Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.

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Originally posted by: GundarkHunter
I could have fun with that for hours.

You may change your mind when you see THIS little virtual game!

(hint: tell her to fight and see some real surprise)
I saw the original theatrical release of the Old Trilogy on the big screen and I'm proud of it...
How did I accomplish that (considering my age) is my secret...
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Very nice

But she doesn't know what a Guinness is
If you're going to take forever, then I'm having a hotdog!
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...so just tell her to bring beer.
I saw the original theatrical release of the Old Trilogy on the big screen and I'm proud of it...
How did I accomplish that (considering my age) is my secret...
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Gimp? What the hell?

"I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over them during the long winter evenings."
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I refuse to post mine, but my youngest son's is Killer. Seems appropriate.

Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.

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I'm "stupid hore"
If you're going to take forever, then I'm having a hotdog!
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Lame. Forget it, guys, this one is MUCH better.

www.cyborgname.com

I don't remember if I posted this before or not? Anyway, we have enough new forum members to justify a repost

http://www.cyborgname.com/cybimages/R/handyvac-RRS.jpg
I saw the original theatrical release of the Old Trilogy on the big screen and I'm proud of it...
How did I accomplish that (considering my age) is my secret...
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Originally posted by: Starboy
The Office Nickname Generator


Mine came out as "Wanker". Which by coincidence happens to BE my office nickname, mostly because of something I did in a x-mas office party, envolving with my bosse's wife, a few stock holders from the company and a bottle of "El Toro Loco" Tequila... uh I don't want to talk about it.
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
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http://www.cyborgname.com/cybimages/S/governor2k3-SESSLER.jpg
"I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over them during the long winter evenings."