darth_ender said:
Jetrell Fo said:
Darth Id said:
Jetrell Fo said:
New motto: Trust no-one, watch out only for myself, ridicule and publicly despise anyone that does not share my views because they matter more than yours. bkev was right, this is Frink’s section of the forum, he has set the standards in it.
My new motto: YOUR MOTTO SUCKS!
Blow it out your wazoo, I’m in no mood to contend with your crappy opinion of everything and anything, that you have no concern over.
warbler, duracell, suspicous, frink
Look, I’m blowing off steam, I’m ticked off. I’m allowed. I’ll get over it. 3 of you make no effort whatsoever to interact with me positively ever. All I get from you 3 is the “one right after the other” talking smack. You don’t have to like me but it doesn’t warrant your crap talk either. I’ve worked really hard while I’ve been back to stay calm. Either show a little compassion or leave me alone.
Ender, you of all people should know better, since you’re a Behavioral Health Nurse. If you don’t antagonize friends of stressed out patients then you shouldn’t be antagonizing others to make light of someone else’s stress.
I’m not sure what you mean unless you are perhaps misusing the word “antagonize”. I suspect you mean that I am encouraging friends to antagonize you. I will say this, as a behavioral health nurse, that doesn’t magically fill me with a voluminous sense of overwhelming compassion. Yes, I have a certain sense of patience and love for my patients that many others lack, but it’s not always the same. Something I actually get very frustrated with my patients about is their common sense of victimhood. About 90% of my patients feel that their life sucks because of everyone else’s choices, not about their own. Perhaps I don’t always go about it the right way here online, but it’s a trait of yours that also aggravates me. You seem to miss the fact that you bring a lot of this misery upon yourself. You are obviously a really nice guy, but just like too much of anything, your niceties often get you into conflict with others.
Let me point out a few things about myself. 1) I hardly ever post anymore. Though I’ve increased in the past few months, it’s not nearly what it used to be. Though I read this forum daily, I often go days without posting. That said, 2) I usually come out of hiding to post something only when I feel it’s important. So why do I post criticisms of Jetrell Fo, then? Is it really that important? 3) Yes, I feel it is because there are four traits you exhibit that annoy me: a feeling that there is a conspiracy to elevate TV’s Frink here that even involves the moderators; you misperceive other people’s motives with incredible frequency; you feel the need to correct everyone else’s behavior issues, which are usually minor and automoderated by the forum culture, while failing to conform to said culture yourself; you are so defensive that you refuse to actually self-reflect (in spite of your thread) on what you could be doing that is getting others irritated with you. Your first day back, people were already getting annoyed with you. 4) While you show these traits often, sometimes it’s with great moderation, but other times it is with such vigor that I cannot help but try to make apparent to you what you are doing that is causing such trouble, usually with a little humor.
Let me give examples of the above grievances I have towards your behavior.
Frink Worship and Mod Collusion
How often have you said, “Oh, I see that Frink runs the forum and the moderators aren’t doing anything about. Everyone worships him. Wo is me!”? Guess what? Off Topic was unmoderated for several years, and it was fine. Sure, we got in arguments. I can name everyone that caused my blood pressure to rise: Darth Id, imperialscum, Lord Haseo, DominicCobb, walkingdork, CP3S, TheBoost, Bingowings…and TV’s Frink! Yet, I don’t hold a grudge against any of them, we’ve usually worked out our differences in an amicable manner, and all was well. However, you came along, and you became so insistent that things were not going the way you saw fit, and now Off Topic is (sort of) moderated. If the mods feel that the situation can right itself, I think they trust it to do so, and only you have proven that such is not the case. They are not indulging Frink. They just don’t care enough to intervene, and hope that the people here can actually act like adults.
Misperceived Motives
How often have you targeted Warbler for something you don’t approve of? Warbler is a great guy. I hope he won’t mind me saying this, but he’s also a bit of a different guy. His thinking is very concrete at times. He is very black and white. This sometimes reflects in his political views. He also can be very sensitive about certain topics and really blow up. I have been here long enough and read through enough old threads to know that he has also been the victim of a great deal of bullying. Have you not noticed how often Darth Id mocks him? I think I can say with great certainty that when he posts something like, “Cut that out or I’ll report you,” he is not baiting. Such is not his style. He is not a man of subtlety. He is direct and means what he says. But you have to create drama, implying that a conspiracy is afoot, and even create a whole new thread that basically was targeting Warbler. Now I know how often you rush to the defense of those you see as being bullied, so forgive me for defending my friend when I see you creating a stupid thread that specifically calls him out for something I know he is not doing. This is one of many examples where you think somebody is doing something sneaky. Another example might be the belief in multiple socks in existence. You see motivation, sneakiness, and scheming where there is none.
Backseat Moderating/Correcting Others’ Behaviors
It seems that you cannot help but try to get involved in everyone’s disputes. You try to be a peacemaker, but sometimes it’s just better to let others hammer out their own problems. See the above example involving Warbler, generalfrevious, and Alderaan. Just learn when to keep a lid on it, and trust other adults and the moderators to make the situation right. Sometimes my oldest two kids (twins) love to correct, often with great rudeness, the behavior of the younger two kids. I tell them all the time that the younger two already have parents and don’t need any extras. Is it not the same principle here? We have grownups who can usually act like they’re all grown up, and when they can’t, the mods help out. But somehow, you have to be that “extra parent”. Back off.
Over-defensiveness
Finally, while you’ve admitted some faults on here, they’re usually silly and self-deprecating and wrong. However, when anyone points out legitimately what is causing friction on your part, you fail to acknowledge that maybe they’re right, that maybe a character flaw is coming into play, that maybe you could change something about yourself instead of trying to change others, and that maybe you’d get along better. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if I don’t need to provide any more example here. I think your reply just might be the example I need.
Look, Off Topic will always be a little chaotic. That’s the way most people here like it. It’s a culture that has developed on this site. You are not going to single-handedly change that. If you don’t like it, find another place to discuss topics of passion. I am conservative, remember; I don’t even like reading the politics thread anymore. I hate Trump, yes, but I get pretty annoyed at some of the stupid generalizations of conservatism or religion that I read in that thread. So I usually don’t say anything. There was a time just a few years ago when most of the frequenters were conservatives, and we ran the thread. Now it’s run by liberals. So since I don’t post much anymore and don’t want to get caught up in a heated argument, especially since I know I’m drastically outnumbered these days, I stay away. If you don’t like the overwhelming disagreement, stay away from the thread. If you don’t like the nature of Off Topic, stay away from this part of the forum. If you don’t like the culture of originaltrilogy.com, go to another forum. Don’t keep coming back for punishment and repeating the same errors over and over that I have previously mentioned.
Let me say this last parting bit. I actually do like you and think you’re probably a really great guy in real life. And I will even say that TV’s Frink’s politics and humor have gotten on my nerves many, many times. We’ve fought pretty viciously in the past. But I also think that he’s a good guy, just a different guy than me. I don’t think he ever wants to hurt anyone. I think he just tries to use humor to point out people’s foibles, a trait you don’t much care for. Just because both of you annoy me sometimes doesn’t mean either of you are bad people. I choose to like you both, and I try to put up with those traits that can be irritating. Stay you, keep being kind to everyone, and just tone it down on a few things, and I won’t criticize you anymore.
Post of the Year.
