How To Make a Modern Hollywood Blockbuster:
1. Never cast anyone over 30 except for Morgan Freeman
2. Insert Morgan Freeman whether his presence in the movie makes sense or not
3. Never use more than three notes for the musical score (you don't want to be accused of manipulating your audience, do you?)
4. Hire Hans Zimmer to do #3
5. Film it on 35mm fllm, input it into a computer,and then crush all the detail out of the image and tint it green, blue, red, or if all else fails...teal and orange. This makes it look cool and "artistic".
6. Make sure the sound effects are really really loud so they can drown out the music.
7. Buy the rights to a really good story and then completely change everything about it. Get a local 6th grader to proofread.
8. Include one scene with Morgan Freeman completely stopping the story to deliver a moral "lesson" that is completely irrelevant to the story and makes the audience feel guilty for absolutely no reason.
9. If you don't have a large casting budget, hire an actor with British accent (everybody will hear the accent and exclaim what a good actor he is).
10.Remember- if less is more, than more must be even better. That goes for everything, especially CGI. Every scene is better with CGI (you can always have one scene with no CGI and long close-up shots with the actors wearing worried and somber faces- people will think this is "artistic").
11. Always put an obnoxious pop song at the end whether it fits or not.
12. Always use extreme close-ups and never stay on the same shot for longer than 1.5 seconds.
There, I think I've found the formula;)
-TM
