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For TRoS Edits: Dialogue for the Knights of Ren! Come help!

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 (Edited)

UPDATE: Voting time!!

https://vimeo.com/432707941
PW: fanedit

The video is 9 minutes long and is separated by Knight. Each submission was assigned a number, and those numbers change from knight to knight. (Meaning that Ap’Lek #3 is not the same person as Ushar #3) This is to keep things as blind as possible.

NOTE: A couple of people just submitted a few lines instead of doing everything, so I’ve included everything I was sent. There will be a couple times in the video when it will seem like a submission was omitted, but I promise I’ve included every line I was given (or if multiple takes of the same line were supplied, I’ve just included the best take).

After listening to all the submissions for one knight, please post here telling me what your #1 and #2 picks are. After a day or two, I’ll see what the consensus is and reveal who everyone was!

After we’re done, I can create a Google Drive folder containing everyone’s clips with their names on them if people are interested in that. If not, I’ll just make a folder for the finalized audio for the “winners”.

Thanks so much to everyone who contributed!


The Knights of Ren need voices. It makes them feel a bit less pointless. But what should they say?!? I’ve recorded a handful of lines for scenes that would work best with a bit of talking. (Kylo’s mask reforging scene didn’t lend itself to any new dialogue, so I’ve skipped it)

I need everyone’s help with two things:

  1. Listen to the dialogue options in the video linked below, and then let me know which you think works best.
  2. Let me know if you’d like to voice one of the Knights! There are four total who speak, so I need three more people who can speak in a menacing, monotone voice.

https://vimeo.com/422563120
PW: fanedit

This was an idea from krausfadr. After I watched his “RESURGENCE” workprint edit, I was going to ask if he would consider adding dialogue for the KoR, and it was already on his to-do list! His line suggestion “I get his teeth” was so menacing that I didn’t even bother giving other options for that bit.

I created the vocal effect based on the Knights’ grunts when Ben kills them.

When there’s a consensus on which lines are best, I’ll put together a list of who says what, and then I’ll have volunteers send me their raw audio so I can run it through the effects I’ve created. If anyone wants this audio for their edits, you’re welcome to it! Feel free to PM me for the isolated tracks.

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I have a feeling the knights would be better suited with a British accent…

Peace is a lie
There is only passion…

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idir_hh said:

I have feeling the knights would be better suited with a British accent…

If anyone with an accent wants to submit their voice, I’ll happily put it through the effects chain! But which lines do you think we should go with?

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Suggestions:

Passana
-The beast of Kashyyyk
-Would make for a fine carpet…

-The mighty Chewbacca…
-I’ll hang his hide on the ship.

-his hide will make a fine addition to my collection.

kijimmi
-Kylo Ren’s pet is here… I can feel her presence.

-Skywalker’s jedi apprentice is close…move out.

-The girl that consumes our Master is here…she will pay the price.

Exogol

-Prince of Darkness!
-Lord Vader’s heir!
-How low have you fallen, and for what? A girl from nowhere?

-Seduced by the light, and we thought you were better than Vader…

-We were one, immune to the light. You’re sentiment for the girl has betrayed you, as it did your grandfather.

(sees lightsaber) So be it, Jedi.

Peace is a lie
There is only passion…

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Movies Remastered said:

I’ve got another English friend who’s done some impression work before. He said he’ll help if you need it.

I’d love to have both of you! Would you mind letting me know which lines you thought worked best?

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 (Edited)

axlanian your initial test dialogue has a raw energy to it so I think your main sinister voice might work best for either the character with the most dialogue or the character with the first dialogue.

I really like this one line from idir_hh: (spoken in a disgusted voice)
“Kylo Ren’s little pet is close. I can feel her presence.”

Instead of still chasing the girl, Ben maybe:(spoken in a rage) “You betray us? For a girl from nowhere!”

heil palpatine.

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I’m quite fond of “So be it, Jedi,” when Ben pulls out the saber. It has a bit more edge than the rather humorous “That’s not fair” which in my opinion works with the shrug but it’s a bit more of a Marvel-ish line. I don’t know that it’d do much to build their presence with such limited material.

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 (Edited)

We should try to minimize the KoR repeating greatest hits lines and snippets from Vader and Palpatine. So if we use “I sense her presence” best not to use “so be it.” EDIT: and vice versa.

But we could record multiple versions to give fan editors a few choices.

I’ll probably use “that’s not fair.” Fits in with the shrug well.

heil palpatine.

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 (Edited)

This are great! But I think they shouldn’t have any lines during Palpatine monolog.

Edit: had to rewrite, I accidentally deleted before posting.

Edit2: they could also say “traitor!” when Ben arrives at Exagol, mirroring Kylo calling Finn a traitor in TFA.

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krausfadr said:

We should try to minimize the KoR repeating greatest hits lines and snippets from Vader and Palpatine. So if we use “I sense her presence” best not to use “so be it.” EDIT: and vice versa.

But we could record multiple versions to give fan editors a few choices.

I’ll probably use “that’s not fair.” Fits in with the shrug well.

I had included the option “It’s over, Ben!” as an homage to “It’s over, Anakin!” Is that too much?

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“It’s over, Ben” sounds good. Plus they are subtly making fun of his name. It’s also something pretty normal to say.

But “So be it” is a very unique line that most people don’t just say.

heil palpatine.

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axlanian,

here’s my picks:

Pasaana Option 4 “Solo’s Wookie.”

Kijiimi Option 1 “Luke’s scavenger girl…”

Exegol Knight’s surround Ben Option 3 “Look who finally made it…”

Knights pause Option 1 “It’s over, Ben.”

Ben gets a saber Option 3 “That’s not fair.”

I would definitely use these for my edit. Great job! On Kijimi, I actually like the Palapatine wants her alive part a lot but in my edit Palpatine is not revealed until later.

heil palpatine.

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krausfadr said:

I would definitely use these for my edit. Great job! On Kijimi, I actually like the Palapatine wants her alive part a lot but in my edit Palpatine is not revealed until later.

Is that right? In the workprint that I have of yours, Palpatine shows up around the 37 minute mark, and the Knights of Ren are on Kijimi at 44:15. Has that changed?

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axlanian said:

krausfadr said:

I would definitely use these for my edit. Great job! On Kijimi, I actually like the Palapatine wants her alive part a lot but in my edit Palpatine is not revealed until later.

Is that right? In the workprint that I have of yours, Palpatine shows up around the 37 minute mark, and the Knights of Ren are on Kijimi at 44:15. Has that changed?

No. My brain just misfired. For me the Palpatine line can work then. I like it a lot because it shows a rift in the KoR.

heil palpatine.

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krausfadr said:
I like it a lot because it shows a rift in the KoR.

That was the intent! Would you prefer it if it were a dig at Kylo’s obsession with Rey too?

“Kylo’s pet scavenger is near. Palpatine wants her alive. Kill the rest.”
“I can feel Kylo’s pet Jedi. Palpatine wants her alive. Kill the rest.”

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No I think either option 1 or option 4 as is would be the most effective, dialogue-wise.

It keeps it simple, to the point, and easy to follow.

Also might want to consider the KoR calling him Kylo Ren instead of Kylo. This is what everyone else in the films calls him, other than Supreme Leader. Think of it as a name like Obi-wan except Kylo-ren. When they call him Ben it’s mocking him because they are removing Ren, the title of respect and reverting to his real name, Ben.

heil palpatine.

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Truth be told I think you’re trying to accomplish way too much in the time allotted. Sometimes less is more, especially in Star Wars with cool looking masked characters like these. For example, the first moment on Pasaana, I think it’d be a lot more impactful if the only line was “I get his teeth.” I could go down the line but, while these are fun suggestions, every single moment would be better by keeping it short. When the Knights confront Ben in particular is really too much. Just one short sweet line like “still chasing the girl would work,” timed so as to not step on Williams’s music which is doing a lot for the scene on its own.

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These are really great! I wasn’t sure about this idea at all, but seeing it, it really works! I don’t even really think you need another voice. Other than making what you already have a little clearer, I wouldn’t suggest anything else at all!

Preferences:

Pasaana:

  • “Solo’s Wookiee” (implies they have fairly good tabs on our resistance heroes and Ben’s wider life)
  • “I get his teeth” (or, “I get his hide”)

Kijimi:

  • “The girl. I feel her presence. Find her.” (“The girl” seems to be how the bad guys refer to Rey, as Kylo did in TFA when he was on the hunt for her. Find her keeps the intention ambiguous, so editors won’t need to work around this as they would with ‘Palpatine wants…’, etc)

Exegol Entrance:
I’d advise only using two - three feels a bit too full.

  • “Still chasing the girl, Ben?” (emphasises his turn, his feelings for Rey, and uses his old name, which they must surely consider an insult)
  • “Traitorous scum. To think we followed you.” (Best reference back to “master of the Knights of Ren”, makes it personal)

Exegol Pause:

  • “You’ll join your father soon” (‘Join’ better than ‘see’ because they might not believe in ghosts, but this one’s strongest as it twists the knife, and reminds us we’ve lost Han)

Exegol Saber:

  • “What?! How?!” (We recognise it as Luke’s so we don’t need the reminder, nor do we need them to account for ‘fairness’ - this plot element and new power should be a suprise, so their language here should just reflect that)
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axlanian you won’t please everyone 100% but I do think the Knights surround Ben scene in particular might be better with 1 or 2 lines instead of 3. I say this because hopefully you can process the effects with proper panning movements and the timing of the lines will affect the panning. For me though nothing else feels too rushed. And Dom can simply not use the 1st line on Pasaana if he uses any of your audio for his edit. Also while your voice sounds perfect, multiple voices really are needed because it sounds like the same person talking to himself.

heil palpatine.

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Movies Remastered said:

axlanian said:

Movies Remastered said:

I’ve got another English friend who’s done some impression work before. He said he’ll help if you need it.

I’d love to have both of you! Would you mind letting me know which lines you thought worked best?

From the video or added suggestions? Just let me know abd we can do a bunch of them for you.

Either one. Which from the video did you think work best? And do you have suggestions that could improve anything?

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 (Edited)

axlanian, based on suggestions so far and my own favorites below are proposed ideas to record/mix. I propose to not record dialogue for the very far shot of the Knights surrounding Ben. This would just be too much and it gives a good pause.

Scene 1 Pasaana - Knights watch Chewie:

Apl’lek (center moving to slight right)
a) “Solo’s Wookie.”
b) “A friend of Luke’s.”
c) or because of no head movement silence might be even better (editor’s choice)

Kurkuk (slight left):
a) “I get his teeth.”

Scene 2 Kijimi - Knights Search the City :

Ushar (center):
a) “Luke’s scavenger girl. She’s close. Spread out.”
b) “Palpatine wants the girl alive. Kill the rest.”
c). “The girl. I sense her presence. Find her.”

Scene 3 Exegol - Knights surround Ben:

Ushar (mid left)
a) “Well look who finally made it.”
b) “Still chasing the girl, Ben?”

Ap’lek (mid right): NO DIALOGUE, TOO MUCH. AND THEY ARE FAR AWAY.

Ushar (far left):
a) “Ready to join your father?” (shorten the line)
b) “Palpatine was right. You’re weak.”

Scene 4 Exegol - Knights Pause:

Vicrul (center moving to mid left)
a) “What a disappointment.”
b) “It’s over, Ben.”

Scene 5 Exegol - When they see Ben’s saber:

Vicrul (center):
a) (mutters breathily) “That’s not fair.”
b) What? How?

heil palpatine.

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Wow, it’s so crazy how well some of the lines work. Personally my preferences are:

  1. “Solo’s wookie” “I get his teeth”
  2. “Luke’s scavenger girl. She’s close. Spread out.”
  3. “Still chasing the girl, Ben?” “To think we followed you. Traitorous scum.”
  4. “Ready to join your father?”
  5. “What! How!?” (or nothing)