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Fixing The Last Jedi's 'COMEDY OF ERRORS' - FINISHED! Clip AVAILABLE!

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If you’re full of creative ideas OR a talented voice actor… This is the place to be!

A recurring theme in Disney’s Star Wars Episode VIII The Last Jedi is failure.
Yoda’s force ghost directly gives Luke this message in the film.

The resistance, despite only just managing to pull through at the very end, ultimatly fails in keeping evryone alive and safe. Ending the film with only a handful of them left.

The sequence of events in this film has been described by the great Mr Harry Plinkett as: ‘a comedy of errors’ a form of narrative stemming from the early Shakespeare play: The Comedy of Errors.

This type of structure is when a single mistake made by a charcter creates a tumbling snowball effect. Meaning that it is followed by a series of endless new disasters and tragedies each with worse and worse implictaions.

The ultimate failure of the resistance and the countless losses of life on their behalf can be traced back to a single, poor decision made: Finn and Rose getting a parking ticket.

That’s right folks! In this installment of the Skywalker Saga the heroes lose and everyone dies because someone parked their spaceship in the wrong spot!

This bizarrely written and strangly executed turn of events can be re-shaped however. It is my intention that in my personal fanedit of TLJ (for which I will create a seperate topic) I will attempt to alter this single action in a way that makes the turn of events seem somewhat less ridiculous and more like a Star Wars movie.

This can be achieved by redubbing the alien that gets Finn and Rose arrested.
https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Slowen_Lo

I was hoping to have someone re-record his lines so that it seems as if they get arrested for a more serious and less stupid reason than a parking ticket.

I now turn to you guys and encourage any suggestions!

The question I ask is:
What should the alien tell the police Finn and Rose have done wrong that gets them arrested?

What’s wrong with your face!
-Harry Plinkett
My homeworld is Australia so be wary of timezones.

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“Huh not dressed in Black Tie? Be gone with these peasants!”

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lol maybe not.

Still better than the theatrical version though!

What’s wrong with your face!
-Harry Plinkett
My homeworld is Australia so be wary of timezones.

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Well, BB8 is thrown out of the casino so maybe there is a strict “no droids” policy in the casino’s in Canto Bite and it’s enough of an offence to send them to jail.

Hmm, maybe that idea is just as dumb as a parking ticket lol!

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No worries, we’re still getting somewhere…

Three problems though:

  1. The alien alerts the police before they enter the casino.
  2. Some droids are seen in the casino.
  3. Doesn’t seem like a big enough deal to lock them up over!

What’s wrong with your face!
-Harry Plinkett
My homeworld is Australia so be wary of timezones.

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Are you going to remove the “Oh no” in the opening Resistance evacuation scene? That line adds nothing and is an example of on-the-nose dialogue.

The unfortunate reality of the Star Wars prequel and Disney trilogies is that they will always be around. Forever. They will never go away. It can never be undone.

I also prefer to be referred to as “TNT”, not “Freezing”.

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I get an overwhelming sense of dread whenever you say that, FreezingTNT2

"Aquilae is a small independent country like North Vietnam… The Empire is like America ten years from now, after gangsters assassinated the Emperor & were elevated to power in a rigged election… We are at a turning point: fascism or revolution." - George Lucas, 1973
Champions of the Force

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sigh Fine… shoots himself in head and bleeds to death, before being struck by a lightning bolt and being engulfed in flames

The unfortunate reality of the Star Wars prequel and Disney trilogies is that they will always be around. Forever. They will never go away. It can never be undone.

I also prefer to be referred to as “TNT”, not “Freezing”.

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snooker said:

I get an overwhelming sense of dread whenever you say that, FreezingTNT2

Whenever I go back and watch that part of the movie I always think of TNT.

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FreezingTNT2 said:

Are you going to remove the “Oh no” in the opening Resistance evacuation scene? That line adds nothing and is an example of on-the-nose dialogue.

Yes, that among many, many other things has been deleted. But this thread isn’t the place for these questions, as I said in the description, I am currently working on brainstorming a single edit which is to re-dub the alien who alerts the police. This is the change I am up to at the moment. Making the arrest occur for a different reason will improve the peceived outcome of the film.

It won’t be long before I move on to a thread for a complete re-edit discussion, in the meantime, I am hoping that all of you intelligent people can help me with solving this single problem.

Sorry if I rambled! 😉 I just wanted to keep the conversation on track!

What’s wrong with your face!
-Harry Plinkett
My homeworld is Australia so be wary of timezones.

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Another option to consider besides a voice actor: Battlefront has a collection of alien voice lines for that species, so you could redub him with alien dialogue and then add appropriate subtitles.

Maybe he could say something like, “I’m confident that is a Resistance ship! I think I saw them head towards the casino!” And maybe as they’re being carried off, we could hear him say offscreen, “Do I get that First Order bounty?”

I guess implying that the First Order has put a bounty on Resistance members. This might actually help explain why Finn and Rose wouldn’t want to park like normal people, hoping their ship wouldn’t be recognized from the beach.

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RogueLeader said:

Another option to consider besides a voice actor: Battlefront has a collection of alien voice lines for that species, so you could redub him with alien dialogue and then add appropriate subtitles.

Maybe he could say something like, “I’m confident that is a Resistance ship! I think I saw them head towards the casino!” And maybe as they’re being carried off, we could hear him say offscreen, “Do I get that First Order bounty?”

I guess implying that the First Order has put a bounty on Resistance members. This might actually help explain why Finn and Rose wouldn’t want to park like normal people, hoping their ship wouldn’t be recognized from the beach.

I like that idea!
Only problem is that the police put them in jail and leave them there, without ever alerting the first order.
I’ll upload a clip soon with alien subtitles!

What’s wrong with your face!
-Harry Plinkett
My homeworld is Australia so be wary of timezones.

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You could imply they are waiting there until getting picked up.

I like that idea because it suggests everyone on Canto Bight only cares about money. The guy isn’t a FO supporter, he just wants money.

Maul- A Star Wars Story

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Yeah, you could assume they’ve contacted the First Order and they’ll be picked up eventually. But you could also have radio chatter regarding the First Order coming to retrieve them be heard while the guards are playing cards, or you could hear one of the guards mention it offscreen.

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MasterSolo said:

I am an amateur voice actor, and can do a lot of different voices. I’d love to try this.

Awesome, this is just so awesome guys! I never for the life of me thought this idea would actually start taking shape so fast!
I would love to get a voice actor involved! Something I’ve never tried before but have always wanted!
Before we record lines, we need to agree on the lines.

I was thinking:

“Yes officer, carrying the insignia of the resistance. A possible security threat to our guests and their clients in the first order.”

And later:

“It’s them! The resistance agents!”

MasterSolo, I’ll PM you once we’ve decided!

What’s wrong with your face!
-Harry Plinkett
My homeworld is Australia so be wary of timezones.

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This is something I wanted to see done myself, so I think it is great to have someone on here who has a more focused goal of changing one element before getting too ambitious like many of us here do, including myself!

I think a good place for you to start while you’re waiting on VAs or debating on the subtitles would be to work on the sound for those clips, so it has all the music and sound effects, but without his dialogue. Then, you could experiment and place whatever voices you want on top of that.

Regarding the dialogue, I don’t think either of them wear a visible Resistance insignia. Rose has the ring, but it is a secret ring she can open and close.

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Already done with the background noise/music.

I am still taking suggestions for the dialogue though.

What’s wrong with your face!
-Harry Plinkett
My homeworld is Australia so be wary of timezones.

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Chase Adams said:

MasterSolo said:

I am an amateur voice actor, and can do a lot of different voices. I’d love to try this.

Awesome, this is just so awesome guys! I never for the life of me thought this idea would actually start taking shape so fast!
I would love to get a voice actor involved! Something I’ve never tried before but have always wanted!
Before we record lines, we need to agree on the lines.

I was thinking:

“Yes officer, carrying the insignia of the resistance. A possible security threat to our guests and their clients in the first order.”

And later:

“It’s them! The resistance agents!”

MasterSolo, I’ll PM you once we’ve decided!

Thank you. I’m excited. This is going to be fun. I think the first line is too wordy. I like RL’s idea that he wants the First Order bounty, and they are waiting in jail til they get picked up. Doesn’t the guard mention something like “You’re under arrest for illegal parking”? So, his line will need to be changed too.

Change.org: Make Disney Release JJ Abrams’s 3+ hour Cut of Rise of Skywalker: http://chng.it/9H6YSwSKnF

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MasterSolo said:

Thank you. I’m excited. This is going to be fun. I think the first line is too wordy. I like RL’s idea that he wants the First Order bounty, and they are waiting in jail til they get picked up. Doesn’t the guard mention something like “You’re under arrest for illegal parking”? So, his line will need to be changed too.

Hmmm…
How about:

Option 1
Two of them, and a droid. The resistance has no business here officer, unless they’re worth a good price.

Option 2
It’s a resistance shuttle alright, probably here to stir up some trouble officer, could come with a good bounty.

Option 3
Our casino guests aren’t gonna want these resistance folks here, unless they’re looking to get paid.

Vote now!

What’s wrong with your face!
-Harry Plinkett
My homeworld is Australia so be wary of timezones.

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How about keep it simple and have a call back to ANH?:-

‘We don’t serve their kind here’

…except this time it’s can’t be interpreted as anything other than overt racism and xenophobia

High society whites and aliens…totally ok!

But a black guy and an asian girl?! Nope!

Space ‘ICE’ are standing by to toss them into a holding cell…with a pre-held HISPANIC dude!

Jeez! This stuff writes itself 😕

The line is totally SW but the subtext then totally changes and becomes quite culturally relevant?

I’m not actually being serious, but it’s interesting how this line change in this moment (to something so familiar within SW lore) would make this scene super politically charged!?

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smpearce1981 said:

High society whites and aliens…totally ok!

But a black guy and an asian girl?! Nope!

Let’s not go in this direction…
Despite the fact that you’re not being serious.

What’s wrong with your face!
-Harry Plinkett
My homeworld is Australia so be wary of timezones.

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Chase Adams said:

Option 1
Two of them, and a droid. The resistance has no business here officer, unless they’re worth a good price.

Option 2
It’s a resistance shuttle alright, probably here to stir up some trouble officer, could come with a good bounty.

Option 3
Our casino guests aren’t gonna want these resistance folks here, unless they’re looking to get paid.

Vote now!

Voting is still needed!

What’s wrong with your face!
-Harry Plinkett
My homeworld is Australia so be wary of timezones.

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I would say either option 1 or 2. I also wonder if it would be clearer if you replaced the last word in each with ‘reward’.

Two of them, and a droid. The resistance has no business here officer, unless they have a price on their head.

It’s a resistance shuttle alright, probably here to stir up some trouble, officer. Could be worth a good bounty!