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FOR THE MARRIED OTers — Page 4

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Originally posted by: greencapt
Originally posted by: PSYCHO_DAYV
SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I MARRIED INTO A FAMILY OF HILLBILLIES.


DAYV's family portrait:

http://www.siglandia.net/Immagini/TF%20USA/beverly%20hillbillies.jpg


I was thinking that DAYV's in-laws *might* look more like this:
http://www.impawards.com/1986/posters/texas_chainsaw_massacre_two.jpg

Then I thought better of it.

Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.

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It was the TCM2 poster.

Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.

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I was hoping you'd appreciate it.

Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.

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Originally posted by: PSYCHO_DAYV
SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I MARRIED INTO A FAMILY OF HILLBILLIES.
It's like you're reading my mind. Ever been to North Dakota? I have. Too many times. It's not so much the Mother and Father -in-law who warrant the hillbilly title, but the extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc) are bonefide trailer dwellers. As an educated British City Slicker, I simply CANNOT abide them at times.

But God help me if I air my opinions in the presence of the wife.

War does not make one great.

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Originally posted by: Yoda Is Your Father
Originally posted by: PSYCHO_DAYV
SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I MARRIED INTO A FAMILY OF HILLBILLIES.
It's like you're reading my mind. Ever been to North Dakota? I have. Too many times. It's not so much the Mother and Father -in-law who warrant the hillbilly title, but the extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc) are bonefide trailer dwellers. As an educated British City Slicker, I simply CANNOT abide them at times.

But God help me if I air my opinions in the presence of the wife.


Not so much my wife's family (she's an only child and her family is quite dispersed), but my mother's family: Total Matriarchy. The women in that family got all the brains, the men are idiots. One or two of my aunts I love dearly, the rest: Pheh. Can all get bent for all I care.

Nemo me impune lacessit

http://ttrim.blogspot.com
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Originally posted by: PSYCHO_DAYV
I VOICE MY OPINION ABOUT MY WIFE'S FAMILY TO HER ALL OF THE TIME. I TELL HER THAT THEY'RE WASTING OUR OXYGEN.


My father-in-law is my supervisor...beat that

It's causing stress for me. Beginning to send out feelers to try to get out of here...
Nemo me impune lacessit

http://ttrim.blogspot.com
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My Father-in-law is a store team trainer for Princess Auto, a surplus supply dealer. My mother-in-law works @ Wal-Mart. My father is a school custodian, and my mother is a school secretary. I think my in-laws are still annoyed that I dragged their daughter away from Southern Alberta; first to Edmonton, now to Regina. They almost never visit.

Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.

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Heading up to Misery, eh? I have friends who live there, but I haven't seen them in about 4 years.

Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.

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You'll see that in Saskatchewan too.

Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.

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Maybe she needs a smaller tractor?

<span class=“Italics”>MeBeJedi: Sadly, I believe the prequels are beyond repair.
<span class=“Bold”>JediRandy: They’re certainly beyond any repair you’re capable of making.</span></span>

<span class=“Italics”>MeBeJedi: You aren’t one of us.
<span class=“Bold”>Go-Mer-Tonic: I can’t say I find that very disappointing.</span></span>

<span class=“Italics”>JediRandy: I won’t suck as much as a fan edit.</span>

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Yeah, but GOOD driver's ed programs are so hard to find.

Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.

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I love online traffic schools.

<span class=“Italics”>MeBeJedi: Sadly, I believe the prequels are beyond repair.
<span class=“Bold”>JediRandy: They’re certainly beyond any repair you’re capable of making.</span></span>

<span class=“Italics”>MeBeJedi: You aren’t one of us.
<span class=“Bold”>Go-Mer-Tonic: I can’t say I find that very disappointing.</span></span>

<span class=“Italics”>JediRandy: I won’t suck as much as a fan edit.</span>

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My mother in law actually gave me permission to smack my wife around when she gets too big for her britches. And she meant it. I don't get to indulge since, among other things (like actually respecting my wife), she has self-defense training. But it's nice to have their blessing to engage in physical violence if necessary.

I am the BASF of the film community. I don’t make the films you watch. I make the films you watch better.

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Originally posted by oojason in the jokes thread:

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the Flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

-------------------------------------------------------

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package,
while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Try entering the command:
C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME
to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.

CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I
personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck, Tech Support.




--------------------------------------------------
Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0.
While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2005.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted.
They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.
Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off.
Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but there could be problems.

A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of the Money section before uninstalling itself...

War does not make one great.