Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side (the TM edit) (Released) — Page 28

Author: Commander Courage
Time: 8-Dec-2005 2:38 AM
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Trooperman, you will do exactly as MTH has instructed. And InfoDroid, you will learn your place young one.

As I'm sure we all realize, it's our combined effort and different viewpoints that make for the superior product we're endeavoring to put out. We're like Lucasfilm pre-RotJ. I thought about breaking it down, but I only got as far as Trooperman as Lucas and myself as Gary Kurtz. I suppose MTH could be Ben Burtt (1980s). Or maybe Trooperman is John Williams, MTH is Lucas, InfoDroid is Kasdan? Or maybe...yeah I don't know, but there are definite possibilities here...

Author: InfoDroid
Time: 8-Dec-2005 3:21 AM
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I wanna be Willard Huyck, the guy who rewrote Lucas' original disaster of a script.

Then again, Willard Huyck was responsible for directing "Howard the Duck".

...eek...

Author: Trooperman
Time: 10-Dec-2005 10:02 PM
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Hi guys. I’m very sorry I haven’t been keeping up with you. MTH, that’s a great script for the Cliegg Lars scene. The only difference is that I’ve edited the tail end a little differently, on a close-up of Padme. I actually liked the way this was handled in the original; before they cut to the next scene, they had a rise in the music with no dialogue and a couple close-ups. I wouldn’t want to end this scene with a dialogue; it seems too abrupt. All of the other suggestions are great, though

InfoDroid, “Now, Voyager” is beautiful, along with “Laura”. You have good taste!

Hi guys. I’m very sorry I haven’t been keeping up with you. MTH, that’s a great script for the Cliegg Lars scene. The only difference is that I’ve edited the tail end a little differently, on a close-up of Padme. I actually liked the way this was handled in the original; before they cut to the next scene, they had a rise in the music with no dialogue and a couple close-ups. I wouldn’t want to end this scene with a dialogue; it seems too abrupt. All of the other suggestions are great, though

Sure- when I get time.

Nope. Don't try to buy yourself more time either. My goal is to catch up with you for the May release. Hahaha! Just kidding. You've got all the time you want. But I would like to see this thing before I start collecting my social security.

Ha ha- don't worry about that. I'm just wondering if you all will start crying if I took this summer to finish the movie, or if you'd like me to try to cram it for May. Obviously the quality will only be higher with more time...

As I'm sure we all realize, it's our combined effort and different viewpoints that make for the superior product we're endeavoring to put out. We're like Lucasfilm pre-RotJ. I thought about breaking it down, but I only got as far as Trooperman as Lucas and myself as Gary Kurtz. I suppose MTH could be Ben Burtt (1980s). Or maybe Trooperman is John Williams, MTH is Lucas, InfoDroid is Kasdan? Or maybe...yeah I don't know, but there are definite possibilities here...

I wanna be Willard Huyck, the guy who rewrote Lucas' original disaster of a script.

Then again, Willard Huyck was responsible for directing "Howard the Duck".

...eek...

Ha ha! I can't wait until I get to the end credits of this movie.

Directed by George Lucas, with help from Trooperman, MTH, CC, InfoDroid, and Ridley Scott

Edited by Ben Burtt, with help from Trooperman, MTH, CC, InfoDroid, and many others

Anakin Skwalker: Hayden Christiansen/Trooperman

Lama-Su: Nanner Split

Music by John Williams, with help from Igor Stravinsky, Gustav Holst, Edvard Griegg, Michael Giachino, and many others

This could take forever!

=====================

Since I've been so awful about posting in this thread (but I want it to keep going), I think for Christmas, I'm going to PM a few of you with a link to a 20+ page word file containing my complete chronological personal notes for SOTDS. My complete battleplan. Then, I think we'll truly be on the same page. I've been withholding it because I thought it would only complicate things, but now that I think about it, this can only mean good things.

I'll be hitting CC, MTH, and InfoDroid with PM's before Christmas. Please speak up if you'd like to receive my notes as well. Be warned that they were only intended for me and they're somewhat boring/tedious/confusing to read through.

Thanks, guys!

-TM

Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side

“Back when we made Star Wars, we just couldn’t make Palpatine as evil as we intended. Now, thanks to the miracles of technology, it is finally possible. Finally, I’ve created the movies that I originally imagined.” -George Lucas on the 2007 Extra Extra Special HD-DVD Edition

Author: Rebel11_38
Time: 10-Dec-2005 11:04 PM
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I would like to get this from you. I have my own folder of notes (50+) for episode I. It would be fun to see how someone else organizes their thoughts when going about an edit.

I still hope you decide against using the Laura theme. Speaking in a Darth Vader-like voice "If you will not change your mind, then you will be destroyed!" Or...not.

Author: Commander Courage
Time: 11-Dec-2005 2:03 PM
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I look forward to reading your notes, Trooperman. And Rebel11_38, feel free to share yours as well if you are so inclined to do so.

...oh, and good to see SOMEONE agrees with me about the love theme.

Author: darthpreston
Time: 11-Dec-2005 3:59 PM
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I'll just say real quick that the laura theme was very good........and it could work.........however I felt that the AOTC love theme had a more star wars feel to it. If the love theme from AOTC is used, will it be used in it's entirety? The soundtrack has alot of cool beats (very beginning and end) that are really nice and they arn't even in the final cut of the movie. But if there was a vote, i'd go for the AOTC love theme, that's the only sound memory I would like however. The rest of the soundtrack is sub-par. Just a thought.

Author: Trooperman
Time: 11-Dec-2005 10:29 PM
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OK- you've all talked me out of it. "Laura" will not be in SOTDS. I'll probably mostly stay with "Across the Stars" as originally planned.

Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side

Author: Commander Courage
Time: 12-Dec-2005 12:31 AM
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*Yub-Nub Plays in Celebration*

Author: Rebel11_38
Time: 12-Dec-2005 1:03 AM
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"IT IS YOUR DESTINY!"

Author: Sluggo
Time: 12-Dec-2005 1:29 AM
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Originally posted by: Commander Courage
*Yub-Nub Plays in Celebration*

No, don't. Seriously.

Author: InfoDroid
Time: 12-Dec-2005 2:59 AM
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Poor Laura.

How could you shun her like that?

Author: Trooperman
Time: 12-Dec-2005 8:03 AM
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A work-in-progress (still need to find a “breaking glass” sound effect), but I wanted to show you how the “Raiders” music works in this short clip: Clip

Instead of talking about it, I’ll be tending to show you more through video and have your responses based on that (with any other comments you may have about that particular scene).

Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side

Author: Trooperman
Time: 12-Dec-2005 8:12 AM
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Sorry, bad link. Here's the clip:clip

Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side

Author: Rebel11_38
Time: 12-Dec-2005 12:21 PM
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I had to set the brightness on my monitor all the way up to just barely be able to make out that scene and I still couldn't really tell what was going on. Could you upload a brighter version of that clip please?

Thanks.

Author: MTHaslett
Time: 12-Dec-2005 2:58 PM
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I could see it, so maybe you updated the clip --

Anyway, I LIKES.

The new shot of the worms is much appreciated and the cues are great for building up real suspense there.

I think I have a couple knit-picks, if you want to entertain them (ignore if not)

1. I'd like the worm shots to reverse -- so the order goes from bad to worse -- the moving worms on Padme's arms are not biting, so I'd show them first, THEN cut to the biting worm.

2. I think there are three beats that take too long -- 1. Anakin crossing the room, I'd cut on movement so he only spins his blade once to get from the door to the worms. Currently it spins twice before he's there. 2. I'd cut the "smoking" worm carcass shot so we don't hold on that so long and get Padme to wake up quicker. She takes too long now and it bothers me (maybe no one else, but me). 3. Obi Wan takes too many steps before going out the window -- he should see the droid, take one step and LEAP!! That'll shorten the shot of Anakin with Obi Wan in the background.

I think these snips will make the sequence keep the great sense of suspense and danger you've managed. I hope they help. I love seeing your work!

Edited to add: I'm a f*ckin' idiot -- I didn't even get the point of the post -- that's RAIDERS? It's perfect! Great job!

Author: InfoDroid
Time: 12-Dec-2005 3:19 PM
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Sounds great, Trooperman!

I like the Raiders music, adds more tension and excitement to the scene.

Good job!

Author: Commander Courage
Time: 12-Dec-2005 7:12 PM
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I like the concept of the Ceti Alpha V Eel, but I don't know if it blends in well enough with the other footage. Putting that shot later as MTH said might help. Good music too, I don't recall it from Raiders exactly, but if we're going to be replacing music other John William's material are ideal sources to draw from.

Author: InfoDroid
Time: 13-Dec-2005 2:19 AM
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Can we get a clip of the new dream sequence, Trooperman? I'm working on one now as a test for Episode I, but in the end, of course, I'd want it to match up with yours.

Author: twister111
Time: 14-Dec-2005 1:39 PM
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Infodroid: Trooperman posted some pictures before. Picture 1, Picture 2, Picture 3, Picture 4.

Trooperman: I like the Raiders music and, I would like to get a copy of your notes for the edit. I would like to see how you organize your notes. I'm only recently started writing stuff down for my edit. So, I have two or, three pages at most right now. I'm also, glad that you decided to not use the Laura theme. Here's a breaking glass sound. I have the same comment on the worms as CC. I don't really think that it blends well. Is there a way to make the biting worm white or, change the brightness of the scene differently to make the other worms black or, harder to see? Then again changing the shot so that it's after the worms move might make it blend already...

http://twister111.tumblr.com
Previous Signature preservation link

Author: jra166
Time: 15-Dec-2005 5:40 PM
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Wow...wow....and wow. I am actually more excited to see this than I was the real episode II.

ONE QUESTION AND ONE SUGGESTION..

The line that makes me cringe the most of anything is the "I miss you sooooo much line" at the funeral. That expression, delivery, and sappiness is so whiney it's unbearable!!

I think it was Magnolia's edit where he cut it right after, "I won't fail you again..."(sweeping music). THAT is a powerful statement! Please don't ruin it with the weak "I miss you" line.

Please tell me you cut it, and if you haven't, please please do.

Other than that, I'm as giddy as a school boy waiting for this release. Keep up the good work and take as long as you need to get it right!

Author: MTHaslett
Time: 20-Dec-2005 2:23 AM
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Originally posted by: Trooperman
MTH, that’s a great script for the Cliegg Lars scene. The only difference is that I’ve edited the tail end a little differently, on a close-up of Padme. I actually liked the way this was handled in the original; before they cut to the next scene, they had a rise in the music with no dialogue and a couple close-ups. I wouldn’t want to end this scene with a dialogue; it seems too abrupt. All of the other suggestions are great, though

I just noticed this bit -- I wanted to end on the close up of Padme too -- I don't think we need to see Lars say the line "she's dead son, accept it" at all -- it looks bad and Padme's reaction is so ON and perfect for us to see AS we hear that line -- but time it so the close up lasts longer than just the dialogue, for sure. I just think the shot is actually weird coming completely after the dialogue is over -- as if it didn't bother her until we cut over to look at her.

Since I've been so awful about posting in this thread (but I want it to keep going), I think for Christmas, I'm going to PM a few of you with a link to a 20+ page word file containing my complete chronological personal notes for SOTDS. My complete battleplan. Then, I think we'll truly be on the same page. I've been withholding it because I thought it would only complicate things, but now that I think about it, this can only mean good things.

I'll be hitting CC, MTH, and InfoDroid with PM's before Christmas. Please speak up if you'd like to receive my notes as well. Be warned that they were only intended for me and they're somewhat boring/tedious/confusing to read through.

Thanks, guys!

-TM

You're welcome-- I hope you come back soon! I look forward to the file, and the battleplan.

Long live Trooperman!

Author: Nanner Split
Time: 20-Dec-2005 2:33 AM
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Can I get in on this battleplan too, since I'm a little bit involved?

Author: Trooperman
Time: 22-Dec-2005 6:49 PM
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Hello, everyone- I'm back. As usual, I'm sorry I had to be away for so long; I had some family issues that prevented me from work on this. I really can't believe how the Episode I film intended to go with Shroud of the Dark Side has picked up. A new editor that's already completed a rough cut? A new website hosting the script? WOW. My only complaint would be that there were over 400 posts in the span of a couple weeks. Most of these new people have never posted in this thread. What's going on?

Can I get in on this battleplan too, since I'm a little bit involved?

Sure. Sorry to leave you out! I have PM'd six of you with my notes. Please comment on anything you see, anything you are reminded of when viewing, and anything that you don't like. Keep in mind that there may be some old ideas on there that I have not changed or wiped out yet. Darthpreston, if you turn on your PM's, I can send you the link too.

I had to set the brightness on my monitor all the way up to just barely be able to make out that scene and I still couldn't really tell what was going on. Could you upload a brighter version of that clip please?

I'm sorry about that- if I get to a DSL computer soon, I'll try to upload a brighter version.

1. I'd like the worm shots to reverse -- so the order goes from bad to worse -- the moving worms on Padme's arms are not biting, so I'd show them first, THEN cut to the biting worm.

2. I think there are three beats that take too long -- 1. Anakin crossing the room, I'd cut on movement so he only spins his blade once to get from the door to the worms. Currently it spins twice before he's there. 2. I'd cut the "smoking" worm carcass shot so we don't hold on that so long and get Padme to wake up quicker. She takes too long now and it bothers me (maybe no one else, but me). 3. Obi Wan takes too many steps before going out the window -- he should see the droid, take one step and LEAP!! That'll shorten the shot of Anakin with Obi Wan in the background.

Great advice as usual! I have reversed the worm shots, and it looks far more natural. I don't know why I made that mistake to begin with. Now, out of your other suggestions... I like the one about omitting the shot of the carcasses. It's a mistake I missed (the fact that bugs are crawling around on Padme and she gets a lightsaber in her face and she still doesn't wake up immediately. Heavy sleeper!). As for number 1...I think you didn't realize it (because I didn't dub in the sound effect yet) but on the second swing you refer to, Anakin actually gets one of the worms. On the third swing, he gets the second one. And this has never bothered me pacing-wise. It's kind of the same thing with Obi-Wan's run to the window- I like the shots as I've cut it because we have the close-up of Obi-Wan directly followed by his run. I like the longer run because it seems more like a real stunt to me. Also, if we make the sequence too short, I don't have as much time to make a musical statement. I guess it just comes down to....nothing really bothers me now besides the smoking carcasses shot.

I like the concept of the Ceti Alpha V Eel

You guessed it!

Good music too, I don't recall it from Raiders exactly

That's because it was never in Raiders in that form. I cut it and transposed a section to a different key, and then synchronized it with the Star Wars scene. So this is the only place you'll hear that music in that particular form.

Can we get a clip of the new dream sequence, Trooperman? I'm working on one now as a test for Episode I, but in the end, of course, I'd want it to match up with yours.

I didn't really want to release a video clip (until maybe the trailer), as this is one of the editorial highlights of SOTDS. Also, I still need to revisit it and do a bit more work on it. I need some good sound effects of a female screaming, and then I'll have to mix that in with the tusken raiders, along with the thumping of the gaffi sticks. Generally, the style completely sets it apart from the rest of the movie (intentionally). In general, scary imagery and very stark colors. Lots of crossfading, although I have a very specific different style for Episode III, the dream where Anakin and the audience get a glimpse of Anakin's future. His face changes, he gets uglier and uglier... but I don't want to ruin it.

Thanks for the breaking glass sound, Twister. I think I'm going for something that sound "bigger" than that, though. I'll keep searching, though...

Hi, jra166! Thanks for the kind words! If I was going to keep "I miss you...so much", it would of course be dubbed over and therefore bereft of the whininess Hayden incorporated so well. However, just taking a look at this shot, his actual face in the shot is not good at all. And yes, "I won't fail you again" is a much more powerful line. I'll end on this- thanks for the suggestion!

I just noticed this bit -- I wanted to end on the close up of Padme too -- I don't think we need to see Lars say the line "she's dead son, accept it" at all -- it looks bad and Padme's reaction is so ON and perfect for us to see AS we hear that line -- but time it so the close up lasts longer than just the dialogue, for sure. I just think the shot is actually weird coming completely after the dialogue is over -- as if it didn't bother her until we cut over to look at her.

Good idea.

Long live Trooperman!

Thank you. You fellows are great. I'm sorry I haven't been contributing to this or the "Ranch" thread- I've just been very busy and I have an erratic schedule that does not guarantee me time to use this forum. You have my notes now, though, so hopefully interest will be rekindled.

Thank you all!

-TM

Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side

Author: InfoDroid
Time: 23-Dec-2005 6:52 AM
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Trooperman...

When will you finally give in and devote yourself completely to Star Wars?

"It IS your destiny."

Read your PM's, I have new stuff to send you.

--ID

Author: MTHaslett
Time: 23-Dec-2005 2:20 PM
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Thank you for the PM, TM!

There's a hell of a lot of stuff there -- I have only gotten a few pages in!

Question: You often have competing versions of the same scene clipped together -- how do we know which one you're going with?

One response so far -- (aside from loving everything) -- I see a place where my suggestion got lost in translation (I think). When Anakin goes to Padme's bedroom to watch her pack there is enough material for a useful romantic scene if most of the scene is cut away. Although the notes contain many ideas for this scene (including cutting it entirely) -- I don't see the following idea:

Just use the following bit:

P:I do not like this idea of hiding
A: Sometimes we must let go of our pride and do what is requested of us
P: Anakin, you’ve grown up

End with a shot of Anakin accepting this compliment with grace and then one of Amidala finally "getting it." She's right and he knows it and he's cool enough to let it be evident -- letting it be the first moment of romance between these to. It's the "glance" -- the scene where the reluctant lover first sees something interesting in her pursuer's eyes.

I think the notes conclude that this scene should be cut -- that's why I felt like pointing out the potential again.

But I don't know if I'm reading the notes right... Am I?

Great work anyway!

Happy Holidays!