Is it possible to add a scream from Padmé just before Anakin gets hit in the head in the droid factory? This way, the reason why the robot arm hits him is because he is distracted by Padmé (otherwise he should have been able to avoid that arm because he is a Jedi) Maybe also add a shot when he turns around after the scream (from earlier in the sequence).
Great idea Mr. Freeman! I'll definitely do that, as it provides a reason as to why Anakin gets clobbered. And thanks again for the "lost edit" info.
Twister111: I'll use the take in the trailer. And that's a good point about Jango's knowledge of the clones.
Before there had been quite a debate over the Yoda/Dooku duel. I had originally supported no lightsabers, but force lightning, but after Rots and what they did with Yoda and Dooku's characters I believe things would be best if as soon as Dooku sees Yoda's approaching, he flings the crane (or whatever) onto Obi-Wan and Anakin and flees to his ship. I think these were Trooperman's initial thoughts on it anyway, so good foresight on that. The Sidious/Yoda confrontation will be infinitely more powerful once *it* is Yoda's big reveal instead of the duel with Dooku. Lucas jumped the gun on that one. Not to mention there isn't a hint of force lightning from Dooku in RotS, and the whole master/apprentice rivalry between him and Yoda went absolutely nowhere.
Thanks, Commander Courage. When I planned to take that out, I really was hoping that there would be a good duel in RotS, but I avoided spoilers and didn't know until a week ago.
About the beginning of the duel Trooperman, I know you had discussed cutting out Anakin charging Dooku, cut away to something else, and when we come back Anakin is already writhing on the floor. But Obi-Wan and Anakin have a great exchange in RotS: "This time we'll do it together," "I was about to say that." You lose that in your version. So the thought occured to me, although this is probably impossible, can the force lightning be somehow "painted out" to have it appear as if Dooku throws Anakin hard across the room? Any thoughts on that?
Thoughts- that would solve all of the problems, but it would be extremely difficult. I don't know if I'll be able to do it.
-Anakin's dream can be worked out very effectively. Keep the close up shot of him opening his eyes, but for the rest, insert a RotS-esque dream showing Shmi tied up, and maybe some of the Tusken Raider attack from ANH. Then make the movie transition to MTHaslett's idea for the porch scene. I figured we should at least see some Sandpeople in Anakin's dream, and the attack on Luke is the best place to get it from. Heck, it could even be argued Anakin is foreseeing that incident as well.
Good idea! I'll play with the Tusken footage in the dream.
-Lama-Su's line "I trust you will enjoy your stay" doesn't sit well with me, as Obi-Wan is just there to inspect the clones, no "staying" involved. I don't know, that just stuck out at me.
Very easy to fix. Lama-Su is being done by someone else now (ChainsawAsh has volunteered, I believe).
-When Anakin is looking into the suns, we should SEE the suns. We do in RotS on Mustafar, so why not here, where he is in the exact same spot his son will be in 20 years?
What I could do is use the shot of the sunset from the 2004 DVD, as it is different from the original version. That way, it wouldn't be the exact same shot. Good idea, though.
-The shot of the flying whale coming out of the wave should be cut. This is just before yet another establishing shot of Tipoca City before the meeting with Jango, and it looks ridiculous.
I'll do that.
-I don't know what your stance is on Dooku/Tyranus, but regardless of whether he is a Sith or not, a bounty hunter like Jango should not just offer info to Obi-Wan like, "I was hired by a man names Tyranus on one of the moons of Bogden." The line should be cut just as in MagnoliaFan's version.
My stance is that he's definitely a Sith! Complete with red lightsaber and ending scene with Sidious. However, I will definitely cut the reference to Tyranus because not only would a bounty hunter not give out that type of info, but if I cut this and Obi-Wan's response ("really"), then I can use Obi-Wan's "really" as a cynical reply to Lama-Su in the earlier scene! It works perfectly.
-When Qui-Gon is heard, I noticed for the first time you can hear Vader's breath as well at the end of the "NO!" And it occured to me, could this be the "NO!" from RotS after Vader learns of Padme's death? Just an interesting thought I had.
That is an interesting thought! Only I'm already pretty sure that Vader's "NOOOO...." will not be in my version of RotS.
Thanks for the advice!
I think Hayden has a great mean glare, but it isn't used well in the movie. It should have been saved for one or two key moments. Revealing it here over Zam is supposed to indicate the depth of his desire to protect Padme -- but it doesn't strike the right note for some reason. It comes off almost comical. It's an empty threat. I would remove the harsh line-reading here to preserve Hayden's "angry face" for later reveals. Taking it out also makes Anakin more smart and self-controlled here. I think we need to take advantage of every opportunity to make Anakin smart and self-controlled so that we feel he's earned the right to "snap" and go get his mom.
Good point. I'll cut it.
I see what you're suggesting here -- it seems like a streamlined version of the romance. As I imagine this outline I only have one problem: I don't see enough romance. The dinner scene is not intimate and without the kitchen scene, there's no hint that Padme likes Anakin. Seeing people in a beautiful setting (in the grass) can be romantic, but needs to be supported by actual scenes of intimacy. I don't like the "Well... if it works" dialogue because I believe Padme being a politician would be heavily turned off by such a fascist-leaning speech. I can only guess how much work went into turning the "first kiss" scene to moonlight with new dialogue. I have to urge you to cut the kiss in favor of letting their kiss on Geonosis be their first. Their romance at this point has had no intimacy and no chemistry. A kiss here pre-empts all the intimacy that can come from seeing Anakin's mother die, seeing him fight to save her in the droid factory, and finally facing death together. I strongly urge you to use this time on Naboo to lay intimacy groundwork with the scene in Padme's bedroom, the kitchen, and at the fireside where Anakin and Padme resist each other. With these scenes the arc of boy-meets-girl/boy-loses-girl/boy-gets-girl will be in place.
That's an excellent point. Thinking about it in a "big picture" way, I agree that that's a classic formula (boy-meets-girl/boy-loses-girl/boy-gets-girl), and the movie would work much better if they did not kiss until after all that they had gone through together. But I loved that moonlit scene!
What I didn't like about the fireplace scene was not only its corniness and awful acting, but the fact that they're talking all about this romance that isn't possible, and then go into reasons why it isn't possible, but all without so much as a kiss between them. How does this sound- I'll delete the fireplace scene and keep the moonlit balcony scene- only Anakin will not kiss Padme. He'll look at her romantically and lean in, but Padme will turn away and say, "No...I can't do this." or "It's not possible" or some other dialogue from the fireplace scene.
Before that, I will give in on the bedroom scene and the scene in the kitchen, when Padme looks out at Anakin through the window. How does that sound? Does it seem like it would flow better? We don't have the fireplace scene with bad dialogue and acting, we don't have a kiss until Geonosis, and we have more intimacy between the two of them.
Please give me your honest opinion!
Thank you -- for doing all the work! I'm thrilled to be able to bounce any ideas your way as you do this because I strongly believe a good movie is hiding in this footage somewhere. Credit? For me? I can't believe it! Tell me more! (I hope I'm not booted out for disputing your ideas -- I was only kidding! Rats.)