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Episode 3 - Editing Back in Progress (* unfinished project *) — Page 2

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Originally posted by: GoodMusician
Originally posted by: darkhelmet
Originally posted by: GoodMusicianAlso, I was wondering, as mentioned by another before, we know that Luke is a skywalker... why not show luke being born... but no mention of twins... Also, show Obi-Wan holding luke as Padme dies...

This is what C3PX did in his awesome edit except for the conversation about Luke's fate. He posted the link below, but here it is again.


I watched the video. A little jarring at times, but pretty decent.


Just thought I would pipe in real quick to say that that clip was not meant as a show case of my editing abilities. I threw it together in just a few minutes in order demonstrait one possible way both the Darth and Leia things could be preserved to some extent. So don't focus on the jaring bits (like the droid, I was focusing on trimming his dialogue, not his movements), but rather the sequence of things. If I took the time I could make a seemless edit as far as the picture goes, unfortunately music editing is far beyond me. I have no ear for music, so what sounds good to me sounds awful to someone else. This is why I have never bothered making any edits. But I still like to play around with ideas and see what works.

"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape

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Originally posted by: GoodMusician
I watched the video. A little jarring at times, but pretty decent.
Yeah, my apologies to you and C3. C3's edit was only intended to show story sequencing like he said, and he did a great job with the ideas.
You've sparked the desire in me to play around with this sequence as well.
Cool. I'm downloading your edit now. WARNING: ANY GOOD IDEAS PEOPLE COME UP WITH HERE, I MAY JUST NEED TO STEAL THEM FOR MY EDIT.
...nor does it look like [Obi-wan] has one off in a shed somewhere lol...

This is an unreleased deleted scene. The ship's on blocks with a tarp over it. LOL!
anyways if you want any help with anything, let me know...I'd be glad to help.

Thanks for the offer. I might just need some help.
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ahh... cool. I wasn't sure. I could see what you were trying to do though so all is good ;-)

If you've been trying to download the video and have been failing, it's because while I was away and thought my computer was uploading it, it was actually just sitting around twidling it's thumbs going "Well, I wish he would hit that "upload button." " lol


So yea, the video is up now. its rough as well as it doesn't take into account very much audio editing... not to mention the planet is jumping a bit in the background of the created shot still... just something to show that you could use it.

I ended up using only a few moments of it. The shot I made is much longer, but I figured that the wipe would help mask any little errors you could see :-p

Not to mention you don't need that long...

And as for Obi-Wan being in true old man fashion--having the car on cinderblocks--that's kinda funny. Oh well... It was something that has never been cannonically referenced so there :-P


Is it not sad that in this time, we are more surprised by acts of love than acts of hate?
-Me

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After seeing what GoodMusician came up with for the approach to Tatooine. I have to say I like it a lot more than my own suggestion. GoodMusician's version just looks stylistically more like a prequel shot.

You know of the rebellion against the Empire?

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because it is :-p


Is it not sad that in this time, we are more surprised by acts of love than acts of hate?
-Me

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Originally posted by: GoodMusician
So yea, the video is up now. its rough as well as it doesn't take into account very much audio editing... not to mention the planet is jumping a bit in the background of the created shot still... just something to show that you could use it.
Just watched it. Nice idea. The audio seems to work really well, too.
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I've created a rough cut of what I would like to see take place, all my changes occuring once Anakin arrives on Mustifar. I removed all of the Palpatine and Yoda fight, and focused soley on the "epic" duel. Padme never regains conciencenes and I also kept the twin thing, aka Princess Leia, a secret. I removed all the annoying poses, stares, and bad dialog that's driven me nuts. I made the saber-fight about the fight. I removed the balancing act that surved no purpose, removed the really bad video game leaping. I also re-arranged , changed "ALL" the sequences after the duel up until the credits.

One of the biggest questions is why did Obi-wan walk away from Anakin. In my version, Obi-wan doesn't give the lecture about Anakin being the chosen one, he simply looks at Anakin, not believing what just happened, and says you were my brother, I loved you. Then Anakin replays I HATE you, almost telling Obi-wan to leave. Basically saying: I love you, oh yeah, well I hate you, get out of here!) So it's not so much Obi-wan walking away, it's Anakin refusing his friends compassion. He then procedes to pick up the saber, almost for him to remember his friend, one more glance back, and then he walks away.


I'll try to see if I can get it uploaded tonight somewhere, is rapidshare the easiest?
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I just watched your clip and Loved some of the changes you've made, I've made many of the same changes myself! I may not even upload mine now, otherwise it will look like I copied yours in many places! It's still very different though, starting when Obi and Yoda are talking about going after Anakin and Palpatine(now only Anakain) after disabling the clone signal to the jedi. The fight is continuous without cutting to yoda and palps (this made some of the cuts shorter and more rough that I would have liked unfortunatly, I'm only a novice at this). Then of course the ending is COMPLETELY different, different sequence, twin thing secret, you have to see it, if just to get some feedback.

Well done though!
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Yeah, I really hate that Yoda - Palp duel. It would be great to have it removed, but like you said it comes pretty rough. You know, in every other movie you can cut out all the lightsaber scenes and past them together and they look incredible smooth. Not a missed beat. This is true for ESB, ROTJ and TPM, ANH is the only one that comes a little rough, but it isn't much a fight anyway. Yet the one fight out of all the saga that could benefit from such cutting, and it is impossible. The ROTS fight is very disconnected. You really have to have shots between it, because one second they are in one room, then in the very next shot they are in another. I can't stand seeing Yoda with his lame short little saber. It just doesn't look right. The fights look forced, with the other almost bending down in order to meet Yoda's blade like a father play dueling with his little six year old son.

jedi_jra, I for one would still be interested in seeing your clip.

"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape

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Originally posted by: jedi_jraWell done though!
Thanks! I can use the encouragement after the editing I did last night. Not horrible. Better pacing for Padme's hospital scene, but still the entire ending is proving to be tough to carry off cinematically and with a mature, believable narrative.
Originally posted by: C3PXjedi_jra, I for one would still be interested in seeing your clip.

I second that motion. I'd love to see the exclusion of the Yoda/Palp fight, what you did with Obi-wan walking away from Anakin, and how you wrapped the story up. I guess I'd love to see it all!
EDIT: Rapidshare is definitely easy to use. Hope you can upload soon.

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Disclaimer: Please ignore the program logo in the middle of the picture as It was the only thing I could find for free, and also ignore the musical score cuts and transitions as I didn't take the time to learn how to do that which does inhibit the flow unfortunatly. So it is rough, but the scenes and dialogs are the key takeaways. Large file 145 MBs

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=2PRGG3KL

I made small cuts and changes when Anakin arrives on mustafar to wipe out the seperatists, if you don't want to watch the whole thing, skip to 6:30 and start there.

Some of the Cuts:

Lots of bad dialog and "camera poses/stares" cut.

In this edit, Obi-wan knows right away he needs to go after Anakin (without Yoda telling him what he needs to do). If my "brother" was in trouble I would be the first to go after him, no one needs to tell me to go after him. Obi-wan watches the security video, Yoda comments how he's been consumed, and Obi-wan asks right away, "I don't know where to find him, where do I look?" He believes Anakin is and always was his responsibility, he goes after him.

Yoda and Sideous gone! As far as I'm concerned, I only want to see Yoda using a light saber once to know that he knows how, and that was when they were taking back the temple! That was awesome! (No Dooku and Sidious duals)

Padme dies when Anakin chokes her, she never wakes up, all the medical attention is only to save the twins.

During the dual, Obi-wan never wants to fight anakin, he is never the agressor, he is only on defense, almost running away from Anakin. If Anakin dies, it will be from his own anger and agression. Got rid of the balancing act which slowed down the fight and did little to add to the drama, also cut out the video game like swinging over the lava. However I did cut a little more of the dual than I had wanted to try to make the transitions more seamless. Someone with more editing experience, could problably salvage other parts of the dual.

Now Obi-wan leaves Anakin to burn for a reason, Obi-wan expresses his brotherly love for Anakin in a last attempt to save him, and Anakin responds with Well "I HATE you", and Obi-wan knows Anakin is gone, only Vader remains to burn.

The events after the dual, Padme's funeral is happening while Anakin Dies and Vader is born. Very symbolic, seeing the bone necklace signifying Anakins innocense and then cut to the mask being lowered. I believe it flows much better. Vader's birth is much shorter. The lowering of the mask is trimmed for drama, this was a personal irritation. In the original version, we see it from Anakins point of view and it's practically locked in place, and then it would cut to the wide angle and the mask is still way up in the air. (small edit, but a huge difference, what do you think, maybe it's just me) Our introduction to the completed vader is not the stumbling NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, it's now him walking in full command on the bridge of his ship. Much like his intro in a New Hope.

The twin thing. Up until the scene on the blockade runner with Bail, yoda, and Obi-wan, the audience has no idea the "baby" survived. This scene now cuts into a conversation which is clearly already in progress, and starts with Obi-wan asking, and what of the boy, as if they had already discussed the fate of Leia staying with Bail. Bail then gives a look to yoda and Obi as if saying "I hope we are doing the right thing". So watching the movies in order, we have no idea about Leia, but when we find out Luke does have a sister, we look back, oh yeah, that's what they were talking about before we cut in.

Finally, the end with Obi-wan dropping off Luke, I cut a lot of the stupid camera poses and stares from Beru and Owen, completely not necessary, and now I believe it feels tighter and much more epic, fitting for Star Wars.



Let me know what you think and if your wondering why I cut something, ask! Thanks guys, I love watching the work in this forum, and was dying to contribute!http://www.megaupload.com/?d=2PRGG3KL
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I havn't quite fixed this yet, but I decided I was gonna try my hand at this editing business... and
"You know... I think I'm starting to get the hang of this [editing] business...hmm"

heh

Anyways, I think that I should leave the battle editing up to you guys... your edits are focusing on narrowing down the battles and that's a good idea.

So instead, I decided to focus on the footage before and after.

I havn't finished the after one yet, and I'll post it when I do, but I've "finished" how I feel the opening to the battle should be edited (minus some minor sound editing).

Hope you like it, and my offer still stands, if you like this enough, I can send you the final product when it's done.

Most of my changes are cosmetic. The clip starts with Padme and Obi-Wan conversting, although I realize that you'd want to remove any mention of the name "Vader," which is said several times before this shot, most of those only require minute editing... very easy.

1) I removed most of the helicoptor shot in and just started it with the last few frames of that helicoptor shot.
2) I removed the transition to mustafar, and instead placed a shot of padme sitting on the couch, breathing.
3) I moved the helicoptor shot and reversed it and stuck it on the end.
4) I wiped to Padme on the landing platform leaving for Mustfar
5) I cut 3PO's line... i'm not sure if I'll leave it this way or not. It's kinda out of place but not that bad.
6) I cut when padme's ship flys away to footage from EPisode I and III of Coruscant at dusk, extending the time lapse between padme's departure and Sidious speaking to Anakin.
7) I removed the final footage of Anakin on Mustafar saying "Very Good, my master," but left the audio and replaced the footage with a reversed shot of the hologram comming into focus at palpatines desk, so it looks like it's going away and so we can remain on coruscant.
8) I have Yoda announce his presence by saying "Emperor?" The guards then turn to him , and he knocks them down.
9) I shortened a bit of the dialogue between him and palpatine.
10) I moved the two portions (before the fight/after yoda is force-lightninged to teh ground) together...

The edit ends here as most of your edits pick up here. I think it's fine to have the cut to anakin brooding on mustafar after palpatine swipes at yoda with the lightsaber. Also, I was thinking, rather then cutting to the screen showing padme'sship comming, what about having the sfx of her ship play when Anakin is still in focus. If you watch, it almost looks as if he hears something and looks to see what it is at the end... you could then cut to her ship flying in and landing and then continue with your edit... just an idea

If you want to see it, download the the video I made, go here:

Part 1

I also had some ideas for the final part, but I'm not gonna say them until I post the video so... heh
I like what you all are doing, but I really want you to see what I'm gonna try with the ending edit ebcause I think it works well. heh


Is it not sad that in this time, we are more surprised by acts of love than acts of hate?
-Me

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As I'd said before, I would post the ending portion of the film next so here it is.

There are a lot of edits and frankly,I'd rather people watch it and see it before I discuss them furhter. The video is a bit long so the file size is a little larger than usual so I'm sorry about that but it's worth the wait.

This picks up from The Immolation Scene and goes all the way to the end credits. There are two or three video edits that could use some tweaking (including that new shot I made which needs to be fixed) but this is a rough edit of how I imagined the ending sequence so.. enjoy.

Again, if you like it,I can always send a higher quality video.
Part II


Is it not sad that in this time, we are more surprised by acts of love than acts of hate?
-Me

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Something that would help to give the Polis Massa scene more substance is to take the part where the droid comes out and says " We are losing her. We don't know why, but she has lost the will to live." Put it at the begging of the Polis Massa scene , and dub over the droids lines with something like this " Do to trauma we have lost her. " Then have the part of Obi-Wan walikng to the right of the screen looking sad, and then show the shot of Padme lying on the table, and then show Yoda looking at her in sadness. Then wipe to the next scene.


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you mean not show the birth at all? how...does that give it more substance? I woudl think that would take away the whole point lol


Is it not sad that in this time, we are more surprised by acts of love than acts of hate?
-Me

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GoodMusician,

Nice execution for the ending. I LOVED the yoda visions, fantastic stuff. And great way to hint at Vader without showing it.

I see you you liked some of my ideas from above, looks good to see them being utilized!

My only critisism is that, can Leia be explained once we find out she is lukes brother, If I go back and watch the birth sequence, is it believeable that there still could have been another baby delivered? She Clearly dies, and there is only one baby that been delivered. What does everybody else think? Maybe after Luke is delivered, have padme screaming again and another baby (Leia) crying off scene while we watch yoda and let that be the end of the scene.

I love this forum, I love watching this stuff.
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GoodMusician, Wow! Where to begin!? I love your edits. I like the way you ended the scene between Obi-Wan and Padme on Coruscant, and the way you inserted the shots of Coruscant after Padme departs in her ship. Also, your audio transitions from scene to scene seem very well done with only minor tweaking required. And the Yoda's vision on Polis Massa is an amazing idea, and the shot of Anikan's hand clawing up the bank and then cutting away quickly is awsome. The way you edited the birth of Luke, and dropped the s off of babies in the Polis Massa scene also works very well. And the music swelling after Padme dies is very powerful in a good way. Overall, your edit does a very good job at improving the ending. Good job, and keep the ideas coming!


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Originally posted by: GoodMusician
you mean not show the birth at all? how...does that give it more substance? I woudl think that would take away the whole point lol


I made that statement in relation to jedi_ira's clip. In that clip the entire birth scene has been cut, and the only thing remaining is Padme laying on the table, a shot of Obi-Wan and a shot of Yoda. I was trying to figure out a way to expand that scene and stick with jedi_ira's plan to cut the birth scene.

However, if the entire birth scene stays in ( And I think it should ) , the thing I don't like about it is the idea of Padme losing the will to live. That is a weak reason for the death of a strong character, especially when that character has two newborns. So to solve that problem I said the medical droid should be dubbed saying something like this "Do to trauma we have lost her."


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Ic hhe

Ok, well, since a few of you have seen it I'm gonna put up a list of the edits I did:

1) I removed some of the sequence of Obi-Wan telling Anakin he's the chosen one, taking advantage of the idea tossed around of Obi-Wan leaving because Anakin says "I hate you." He still sees the fire and such.
2) I removed Padme's line asking if Anakin is ok.
3) I flipped the shot of Obi-Wan and 3PO in the ship flying away from Mustafar. I know why they flipped it in the film, but I like it this way better.
4) The shot then cuts to Yoda meditating. In this, I inserted several muffled, warped, glowey, shots with shots of Yoda meditating inbetween.
a) Anakin saying "I Hate you"
b) Anakin catchin on Fire
c) Obi-Wan watching
d) Obi-Wan walking away with Qui-Gon's line "He Is the Chosen One."
5) The final shot is in between Bail interrupting Yoda, shwoing briefly and dramatically Anakin climing away.
6) I edit some of the dialogue between the droid and Obi-Wan (removing the "s" in "babies" however, I think more of this should be cut because it is misleading
7) I cut leia's birth and show Padme's death.
8) At her death, I insert several shots of Yoda, the group watching, obi-Wan holding luke, with the repeat of the requiem music playing.
9) I repeat the shot of Padme alone on the table, as if dead.
10) I wipe to Tantive 4 arriving to Naboo
11) Obi-Wan cuts in with "And what of the boy?" as if half way through the conversation (another idea I kinda swiped heh). The rest of the conversation is the same.
12) I re-edited Padme's Funeral. I felt that some of the shots were out of order.
Original Shot Order:
a) Iris in to Naboo Funeral
b) cut to overhead shot of Funeral procession
c) cut to closer shot of funeral procession
d) Shot of Padme in open coffin
e) Shot of Padme's Family
f) Shot of Padme's niece
g) Shot of Jar Jar
h) shot of Padme's oppen coffin going away
i) shot of Queen Jamilla
j) shot of padme in coffin, showing her hair, dress, and the jappor snippet.

THe difference really is that I moved the shot of Queen Jamilla to be before her family, as if we're seeing the procession in order. Then the shot of the open coffin going away cuts to her in the coffin. To me, this flows soo much better and the focus is much more linear than jumping around.

13) new shot of starts, interrupted by Tantive 4 Arriving at Tatooine
14) wipe to shot of Obi-Wan delivering baby to Beru

The rest is the same.

I really did want the line of Qui-Gon to stick out... the "He IS the chosen one." I ripped it from Episode I when he tells the concil that. I wanted it to stick out as if Yoda was watching what unfolded on Mustafar from Polis Massa, and then Qui-Gon spoke to him telling him, almost reassuringly that this isn't the end. He will bring balance to the force.

Then you have the dramatic cut of Yoda seeing Anakin crawling only to be interrupted before more can be disclosed.

I'm gonna re-edit a few little pieces. Like, I want to show Bail walking up as Yoda is meditating, but not say anything. You won't hear his dialogue until you see Anakin cralwing and the dialogue will be layered over the video... making it a bit better. Also, there was a close up of Yoda's face where you see him open his eyes before he's suppse to heh.

Also I want to cut a little more dialogue between the droid and them before Padme gives birth.

The other thing mentioned was that it looks like Padme never had a chance to give birth to another child.... I was originally going to cut to the conference and have that take place before she died... but I couldn't find a way that cut very well... and it seemed like they were counting their eggs before they'd hatched so to speak, which isn't like the Jedi.

If I did this, I wouldn't have the dialogue with the robot too much. him saying "we're loosing her, " and obi-wan saying "she's dying" would have been after this, after she gave birth. As if she'd given birth, but then they kept her a live long enough for the jedi to decide what to do, only to then have her die. The problem is I want the line of her saying "There's still good in him." I personally like that line. It's almost as if Leia remembered her mothers face before she died, but luke remembered the last thing she said, which I felt was important to connect them becuase Luke did... almost adamently, fight for the idea that his father had good in him...

Any ideas? comments? let me know, I can still tweak the file.
Glad you liked my ideas heh


Is it not sad that in this time, we are more surprised by acts of love than acts of hate?
-Me

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Just a thought, but does it really need to be explained that she died and how? I mean we see her funeral in the couple scenes so we know she dies, and people do die from child birth. We know she was in bad shape, and giving birth to a baby (or two), is that enough?
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with star wars, if you don't see it, it doesn't happen.

Personally, I like her last line...it's why I wanted to use it. Also, you have to remember that you have to balance out things. If you simply end the film with obi-wan walking away from anakin on the ground, and say "We know Padme Dies, we know Anakin becomes Vader, we know Luke and Leia are born and delivered to their respective places, we know yoda goes to Dagobah... why show it?" then the film ends very abruptly and there is not real climax...it reaches a high and then that's it lol...

Although you are right... there are some things that we know and can assume... like Yoda going to Dagobah...and Obi-Wan going to Tatooine... but there has to be some bridge...some continuity... some climax.

So debatebly, you could simply remove it yes.


Is it not sad that in this time, we are more surprised by acts of love than acts of hate?
-Me

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GoodMusician, my fellow Ewok friend, I really liked the flow of you ending, especially the music. I thought the birth of Luke was seamless. If it were not for the loosing the will to live line still being present, I would say it was spotless. The part I did not like was the vision of Yoda. I guess I just felt that we already saw that stuff and it came as repetitive. Obi-Wan still believed he was the choosen one, so I also don't believe the Qui-gon line was neccessary. picture this though,
Yoda meditating and just a quick distorted flash of first close up of Vader's mask from the birth scene with fitting music right before Bail interupts. If we don't want to save the identity of Vader, then I think that would be a great alternative to the birth of Vader scene. I am still very partial to the robotic arm clutching the ground, I think it is a great forshadowing of what is to come ("he is more machine now than man") without giving away the farm.

Overall I thought your (GoodMusician's) ending was very smooth, if that had been the way the theatrical ended, I think I would have walked out of the theater with a slightly more gentle opinion of the film. I was on the fence through out the whole movie, I sure didn't think it was great but I still thought it could be tollerated up until the turn of Anakin, then the birth of Vader scene and the lose of will to live were the final nails in the coffin. Those two scenes are IMHO the two absolute worse things about the film and the most difficult to fix in a fan edit. I think the future is looking bright for the ending, but I still have no clue to fix the turn of Anakin.

This visual brainstorming via posted clips is a really good way to come up with ideas. I like how one person has an idea, then others compound on it.

"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape

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I can understand your want to remove the line. I had finished my editing when I read someones post (I forget who's now) that said that Padme was the strongest willed character in star wars, and for her to "loose the will to live" was... nieve and unfounded for a droid to say.
Especially a medical one,which I completely agree with... that is absolutely true.

My next edit will remove it.

The reason why I included the yoda visions was because I wanted it to seem like Yoda had been watching what unfolded through the force. He saw what had transpired (which was why I kept the shots so short). I also wanted to show that he had forseen padme's death as well, and then the robotic hand becuase, as you said, it's a great foreshadowing effect.

I remember when I saw the film, the show of yoda meditating always bothered me because it seemed such a ...lost oppourtunity. I mean, I knew that Qui-Gon was meant to be in the film and that the side-plot of him finding a way to communicate and be maintained was something that was meant to be there... so I almost expected to hear him, and when I didn't I was kinda like "Well, that was dumb," which is why I put the Qui-Gon's line over Obi-Wan's... I wanted it to be as if Qui-Gon was guiding Yoda's vision and almost... reassuring him that this isn't the end. There is still hope. The prophesy hasn't been fulfilled/lost yet.

That was my overall hope with the dream sequence. I might play with that a bit more and see if there isn't something I can't add/subtract to make it better.

I had thought about showing eaither palpatine or Vader in the dream... but Yoda never meets vader... Maybe something from the OT would be good? Luke confronting vader or something... which would then give a lot more merit/strength to him saying to Luke that he must face Vader.

The only thing is I didn't want to show Vader becuase I kinda wanted Vader to almost be a surprise in Episode IV...like "Oh? Who's this?"

Ideas?

I also agree that the editing-brainstorming here is great. I love all the ideas people are throwing out and I'm glad people are liking mine. This is actually quite fun hehe.


Is it not sad that in this time, we are more surprised by acts of love than acts of hate?
-Me

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GoodMusician, did you see Marvolo's clip (I think it was Mavolo's) with the Batman's Begins line over the Yoda meditation sequence? As much as I dislike lifting things from other films, that is a very interesting line, and it actually fits pretty well, indicating that Yoda feels guilty for what has taken place and Qui-gon tells him not too. ADM used this line during the landing on Dagobah scene, and it was the only part of his edit I didn't like, but during the meditation scene it fits better and feels more natural.

"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape

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hmm... is that video in this thread? I don't have the film so I might have to lift it fromhis edit :-p


Is it not sad that in this time, we are more surprised by acts of love than acts of hate?
-Me