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EatonB's Star Wars Prequel Trilogy Re-Write

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Hello guys.  I recently re-wrote a Star Wars Prequel Trilogy Pitch and so far its gotten pretty decent reviews.

I guess I'm looking for a Star Wars forum that the members actually read my pitch and give me some feed back. 

I made some posters for my Trilogy...

 
















Would anyone be interested in checking my prequel ideas out ? ? ?  Is there a lot of activity on this forum ? ?  Thanks guys!

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James Franco?

Wut?

<span style=“font-weight: bold;”>The Most Handsomest Guy on OT.com</span>

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I am uploading my brief story via YouTube and I will add it as a response to the RedLetterMedia youtube review of The Phantom Menace for everyone to see it.

If I type out a long detailed story here, barely anyone will give it a read, but if I create a youtube video with some music, pictures, less than 10 minutes long, then I might get some views....

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I would like to read/see this... Where can I do this?

 

 

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Finished the quick youtube video (8 minutes).  I'll post it today.

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Good presentation. I liked the simplicity of the plot. I also like the idea of few Jedi, though I don't know if 6 Jedi in the galaxy (for Vader to hunt down) is enough. Overall it's a good concept, albeit filled with pretty people :p

The blue elephant in the room.

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Wexter said:

EatonB said:

Finished it guys - please take a look and enjoy!!!!  Hope you like my ideas!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlDbD-hBX3E

Looks like you have it all thought out... but what next? Are you planning on taking this any further?


Maybe posting my Episode 2 and 3.

There is no way to take it further.  Youtube / Posting on forums is all you can do with a Prequel Re-Write.  I'm doing this just for fun....

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Mrebo said:

Good presentation. I liked the simplicity of the plot. I also like the idea of few Jedi, though I don't know if 6 Jedi in the galaxy (for Vader to hunt down) is enough. Overall it's a good concept, albeit filled with pretty people :p


episode 2 / 3 - they gain more Jedi.  It's not just the same 6 in all three.  It's just these in ep.1, then more later...

The idea that Vader killed thousands of Jedi in Lucas' prequels is so far fetched.  It would only take like 10 to jump him and kill him.

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   ^ Some great ideas in there. I especially like that you seem to be keeping your characters under grave threat at nearly all times. Best to avoid big blocks where nobody is facing an immediate possibility of great harm and or failure. The protagonists are there to be profoundly worried as much as possible :)

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I like it! Do the other episodes.

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I've done all three.  Just need to make a youtube video for Ep.2 + 3.  They've gotten pretty decent reviews considering its just some random internet user.

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I will work on the second youtube video for episode 2 if anyone is interested...

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Yes, please :). Do it.

Kenkraly about this site:

Those trolls at originaltrilogy.com are mean and disrespectfull.

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I paid a lot of attention to the backstory of how Star Wars was created , even his thought process of the dreaded Prequel Trilogy.  I kept that in mind when I decided to re-write these just for fun.

At first, I did the same things as most fans out there who re-write these as therapy to make up for the prequels.  I just watched the prequels and switched things around.  Eventually, it still sucked and I thought , fuck it.  I give up.  It wasn't until RedLetterMedia reviews where I discovered that there is no way you can switch things around and keep a good story.  You just have to start from scratch, keep some good elements from the prequels that actually worked well with the audience.  Lucas isn't a complete idiot, he did come up with some things that did indeed work well with the fans. I took each movie and based it off classic films. And I have two rules, and as i am writing more and more while sending it to PrettyBoyB via email, I keep my two rules.

1) Less is More
-Major problem with prequels and even fan fiction is the writer has all the power to do whatever he/she wants.  You can throw Yoda in every scene.  You can go to this planet, you can have 20 Sith fight 100 Jedi.  I think this freedom really corrupts the story.  It over exposes cool things to where the audience gets bored with it.  I can't express enough why Grevious / Obi Wan scene sucked so hard was because no one cared.  We've already seen this kind of over the top crap in the prequels.  By this point, the audience does not care.  Now if George made Grevious in Ep.1, made him a silent character, had his mysterious, did a little here and there in Ep.2 - and then you get to Ep.3 - that obi / grevious would mean more.  The anticipation and build up and finally the pay off.  Yoda was completely over used and once we got to the Palpatine/Yoda fight in Ep.3 - the audience was not interested because we just saw this with Dooku in the last film.  The huge shock value of Yoda wielding a lightsaber is no longer there.  With the fan fiction, these guys have the freedom to do whatever thing they want with no restraints, so they end up doing different action sequences with lightsabers to the point where no one cares because they did it 5 times already. 

2) Keep it Simple
-The OT was loved so much because it really had a simple plot.  You could sum up all three films with one sentence to describe the plot.   "The Empire is trying to crush the Rebellion".  Thats it.  All the other Vader / Luke Jedi vs. Sith battle, Han falling in love with Leia, Lando redeeming himself, the droids lost in Tatooine - this all happening under the banner of "The Empire is trying to crush the Rebellion".  The other stuff is within that simple plot.  It's not the plot that is complex, its the characters. Plot simple, characters complex.  Lucas had the prequels backwards!  The plot was complex and the characters were simple.  Anakin = a little boy. Queen = Queen / Senator (?).  Jedi = Jedi.  Obi = Anakin's mentor.  Palpatine = Darth Sidious in a shocking twist.  Jar Jar = Friend.  Yoda = Yoda with a lightsaber.  All these characters became stale and not interesting.   Now the plot, jesus....  "The Empire is trying to crush the Rebellion"....That was OT.  The Prequels.....errr....."Trade Federation is taking over Naboo, Chosen One of the Jedi Prophecy is discovered, mysterious jedi created clone army while dooku turns on jedi, while darth sidious has his apprentice fight jedi, while anakin growing up and getting mad while falling in love with padme who is a queen of naboo who turned into a senator, and palpatine has conspiracy to wipe jedi while taking over republic.."..ah fuck it - i give up.  There is no simple plot to Prequel Trilogy.

Eaton's Prequels = "The Sith want to take over the Republic".   Thats it.  Clone Federation will try the first two movies, fail, but the Sith ultimately are the ones that do it.  The love story between Anakin & Amidala, the space battles, the lightsaber fight between Maul & our heroes - all these things happen under that banner of the simple sentence.  Maybe George did want the same simple statement for his movies, but his execution and everything from the chosen one jedi prophecy to the mystery of who the Sith were, ruined the simplicity. Every time I try to think of what George was thinking as the simple statement to sum up his prequels, I get baffled.  He was trying to do too much, imo.  "Anakin is seduced by the dark side." .....or was it "Glorious Republic falls into an Empire"....or was it ..."The Chosen One is discovered and becomes a Jedi".....I really can't figure out if George had a simple concept he based on his three films on.

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This is how I will make my Act 3 of Episode I - The Seventh Jedi

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Coming in a bit late on this. Love your treatment. My only issue is Yoda. I love that he was more of a myth/legend in the story and was hoping it would stay that way. Don't think you show him at all. That was another thing about ESB that was ignored by Lucas.. The audience was supposed to be surprised when the little Muppet wound up being the legendary Yoda. You lose that if you have him in the prequels. Hope that makes sense. Otherwise, and even if Yoda was left in, still a far greater film idea. Good work! Post Ep. 2! =)

 

 

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I have wrote the story for Episode 1 rough draft.  Sent it to my guy who does screen plays so he can pop adapt it into an official screen play for the Star Wars fans out there.

I just wish I had an idea how to get my story all over the internet.  My youtube only got 200 hits in the past three months.  Not good... 

I was thinking of starting a website.  I dont wish to look to profit or anything, I just want people to read my story and see if its better than George's.

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I can assure you, just that light outline is already better than what George gave us.

 

 

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I want to post my detailed story here, but its super long.  If anyone wants to check it out, I can send it to you.

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While I understand this is for conversation, are you set in your cast. While I love Ewan McGregor, I would like someone who looks a bit older. Maybe Jude Law who in my opinion looks very Obi-Wanish.... And in my prequel re-write idea I had Bail Organa as a reluctant prince/treasure seeker. He would be the Han Solo type character. Always had it in my mind that Han was a lot like Bail was in his younger years... You know what they say, a girl will marry someone like her father. =)  Just food for thought