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Dune radical edit ideas — Page 2

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will this be an extended version with all missing scenes?

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This is the Foreword from the Storybook.

THE GREAT GALACTIC EMPIRE had lasted for thousands of years, its Emperor Shaddam IV, believed it would last forever. He was Wrong. In a far corner of the Empire was a desert planet called Dune. It was the most important planet in the Empire, because it was the only planet on which the spice melange could be found. Melange could give people strange mental powers. The Fremen people who lived on Dune hated the Empire because it ruled their world harshly. Their legends said that some day a great leader would come to their world. He would set them free, and change the galaxy forever. They were right. This is the story of how it happened.

Edited Version

THE GREAT GALACTIC EMPIRE had lasted for thousands of years, its Emperor Shaddam IV, believed it would last forever. In a far corner of the Empire was a desert planet called Arrakis. It was the most important planet in the Empire, because it was the only planet on which the spice melange could be found. Melange could give people strange mental powers. The Fremen people who lived on Arrakis hated the Empire because it ruled their world harshly…

Prophecy Intro - (Water Droplets)

This is not a bad guess at how it was set up originally before the Virginia Madsen intro was filmed. I like the Virginia Madsen Intro a lot the music and everything but it does feel off in places. Anyway it’s some more food for thought.

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benduwan said:

will this be an extended version with all missing scenes?

Spicedriver’s version adds those scenes already, and it’s great.

The goal here is to try a different radical approach.
We are discussing the deleted scenes as a source for ideas, nothing more.

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Ronster said:

Prophecy Intro - (Water Droplets)

This is not a bad guess at how it was set up originally before the Virginia Madsen intro was filmed.

I’ve never seen the story book, thanks for the info.

Indeed, instead of showing the Reverend Mother right away, I can just keep her voice and show first a montage of water drops, guild ships and spice production.
So we would go from Space to Arrakis to spice, ending on the reverend mother, the Freemen listening and then the hand.

Will do it when possible…

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This is a bit off topic in a way by this shocked me to lavish amazing looking set’s that were not in the film.

http://www.miljenkrekakljakovic.com/dune.php

The mind boggles on how good these look and not to commit it to film is insane, I can’t get me head around this but obviously there are scenes set in these areas.

It could be interesting to Replace the emperors palace with the matte painting?

http://www.duneinfo.com/Content/images/arrakis/ron-miller/dune27.jpg

But I am not sure that really looks like reflects the interior and the lavishness of the emperors palace and it would seem ideas moved on quite a bit from the concept art. But like I said note the different design for the Landing Ship also. I would say it is Geidei Prime if you put the Matte Painting in the Background replacing the emperors model palace. I have a feeling this would have been the Sandaukar troops Landing on Geidi Prime.

This does look like perhaps what the Palace was meant to look like though.

Tried to improve make it less CG looking.

I think Caladan looks Good and Arakkis and Geidei Prime but the Emperor’s Palace looks poor.

One More Correction Change Caladan to Blue like it should be

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Aren’t those matte paintings from the 2000 miniseries? Or even Children of Dune in 2003?

a trolling bantha

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Yes, the sets are from the miniseries.

Tried that variation of the intro showing the guild, navigators, emperor and it’s a bit confusing.
You see many images with no context and tend to disregard the words.
On the other hand it does feel something Lynch might do.
Will work on it a bit more and share it latter.

Thinking a bit about the Guild report segment.
It’s logical to have Paul’s voice. Atreides intelligence might have intercepted the “secret report within the guild”. And that’s what he’s reading on his pad.
Makes sense to show it after the navigator’s visit to the emperor. It provides a better explanation to what’s happening and also a reason for the Paul x Gurney fight scene. The Atreides are aware of something.

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never seen the mini series… But I like the painting if it is from that.

Anyway try it with just water droplets then perhaps and transition to her cupped hands. Perhaps it is being over thought.

there is another clip in the trailer for the box sequence. The blurred chair the witch is no longer there then the optical effect rip or tear to the fire and the witch. this probably comes before “The pain!”

Ideed the kyle Mcglaughlan voiceover may mean it was part of the film book originally… It is a decent explaination that it is intelligence report.

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You should see the mini series. Very low budget, odd accents, but very faithful to the book. The only real letdown is the bad CGI… 1984 models do look better.

Here’s the intro with added images as she speaks. For the sake of discussion give it a look 😃
The navigator’s “seeing eye” part does work, the rest adds little.
Still, it gives good information without being a awkward narration.
https://drive.google.com/open?id=18vu_lQXi6FBLDcKQ9g_vc-nXcTTPfbM5

I’ll move on to the “guild report” and see what comes out of it.

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Honestly, Spence’s movie edit of the miniseries is my favorite version of Dune that currently exists. Just remember that due to its low budget, it was filmed and staged like a play and not a movie - the idea being that it would be clear that it was overly stylized would compensate for the low budget, but it didn’t seem to work for most people, since the “cheapness” was the biggest complaint about it.

Children of Dune (adapts both Dune Messiah and Children of Dune) went with a more traditional filming style and I think was a bit better received because of it.

a trolling bantha

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4throck said:

You should see the mini series. Very low budget, odd accents, but very faithful to the book. The only real letdown is the bad CGI… 1984 models do look better.

Here’s the intro with added images as she speaks. For the sake of discussion give it a look 😃
The navigator’s “seeing eye” part does work, the rest adds little.
Still, it gives good information without being a awkward narration.
https://drive.google.com/open?id=18vu_lQXi6FBLDcKQ9g_vc-nXcTTPfbM5

I’ll move on to the “guild report” and see what comes out of it.

It’s not working…although the shots are not bad choices to try and explain what is being said I don’t think trying to explain what is being said works. The only way I am going to be able to explain how I think about this, is by trying it myself.

It’s not an easy thing at all this intro and I don’t know what to make of this part except it has to make you feel something, it has to be very visually engaging, and it also has to carry some meaning. But don’t take that as a bad thing it’s very hard to work with something that is incomplete. You must Look Beyond the footage.

Think about Elements

Atreides = Water
Harkonan = Wind
Fremen = Earth
Bene Gesserit = Fire
Guild = Space
Emperor = ?

6 Dimensions

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😃

I understand what you suggest, it’s symbolic and not easy to do.
I can try just images of the elements, that might work.

I Googled the elements and traditionally you only have 5.
Perhaps the Emperor has no Element at all?

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OK I finally found the Concept Art for The Emperors Palace…

Mock up of what it could look like…

I think this really does match the architecture in the movie. This means that Other Landing Shot is actually Geidi Prime indeed and we have a missing sequence. This may also explain why Paul Destroys a Stone pyramid with the Weiding module when demonstrating to the Fremen and the Emperors Golden Tent.

A nice update for Kaitain

As Far as the Guild Report Goes I would cut the Audio “A Secret Report within the Guild” and also “Send a third Stage Navigator to Kaitain to demand details from the Emperor…”.

So what does the Fremen Citadel Look like?

I think the Model Shot From Krull could be a Good candidate to Capture a sense of Something within the Rocky Outcrops… Although it is not something that needs to be shown It would be an excuse for an establishing shot. Alternatively it could be a secret Harkonan Suicide Squad Base.

I have read that the Model Production Facility Burnt down during production so this explains probably why some things are not present perhaps, or things were modified, I have no idea how much that impacted production but I can imagine it was a big setback.

Anyway been working a bit on the Folding Space sequence and some good ideas are at work!

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Interesting finds! The new Palace also matches the Emperor’s landing craft better.
But who’s landing on Geidi Prime then? The Mentat bringing Leto’s message?

The Fremen Sietch model will work, I like that weird design from Krull.

I’d like to see your results, please share them someday 😉

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4throck said:

Interesting finds! The new Palace also matches the Emperor’s landing craft better.
But who’s landing on Geidi Prime then? The Mentat bringing Leto’s message?

The Fremen Sietch model will work, I like that weird design from Krull.

I’d like to see your results, please share them someday 😉

Yeah i would say the Mentat bringing Leto’s message is the only possible answer.

If it were recreated then perhaps showing a Landed ship would suffice with the concept art enhanced i some way. Perhaps some animated smoke would do. that fighter which looks distictly Harkonan would suffice.

It would be better to use the big battlecruiser at the end of the film from Battle beyond the stars for the emerors arrival.

I got that scene wrong from trailer this is during hunter seeker flashback but I think this shot is meant to be the place mohiam dare not look. Witch and the Fire. Swap though for Paul Atreides and fire. “you will see me there looking back at you”

when they wash the Blood and flesh off the floor on Geidi prime this is the aftermath of the sting knife fight where he kills sandakar captain so yes it was filmed.

The more and more I read the only 2 main plot points missing are.

  1. Teraforming - This was adapted into the rain on Arrakis ending. No it is not raining all over the planet. So covered although altered entirely.

  2. Paul loses his son in Harkonnen raid which would be the reason for the Speech and Long live the fighters.

Rabaan in the desert is filmed though so you could show the Sietch and some fighters blasting it followed by Rabaan in desert perhaps after water of Life sequence. This would make the Revenge Speech much better it would fill in that blank and give much more meaning to the revenge after an attack on their home. Pauls Speech occurs on his return then but motivated by both knowledge and revenge.

Lynch really did have it covered in 3 hours as an adaptation that covered the main plot.

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I just want to list some of the other missing material that I found in the script.

When Duke Lito Dies A meteorite was meant to crash into the sea on Caladan. This could be recreated and might be good.

After Paul Bumps into Gurney in the Desert there is a scene which covers that Gurney thinks Lady Jessica is a traitor against Atreides Paul stops Gurney from Attacking Jessica and explains Yueh was the traitor in House Atreides whom betrayed them. There is nothing we can do about this unless the footage were released but it is an important scene and it is perhaps the last Important scene left out. There is no good reason for this being left out the TV version at all. Or is it Brutality to women angle even though nothing was done to Jessica…

There was to be a montage of scenes between seeing water droplets between each scene. This was to show time passing but also Jessica giving birth to Alia, The Fremen training with weirding modules against robots. Paul is taken to an area where plants can grow due to condensation forming on rocks - Life was finding a way to seed Stilgar said they had seed for the plants and this expands upon the rain on Arrakis ending. AGain no Good reason for this to be cut from TV version except perhaps Alia as soon as she is born says “Mother” which might have been considered disturbing.

When The Battle at the end is over the Palace was surrounded by Fremen Warriors Princess Irulian says “Father? What will you do?”

On the end sequence…

How dare you speak to me…
GUILDSMAN #2
(speaking into electric
microphone)
Stop your speaking!!
PAUL
(to the Guildsmen)
Good. You have some idea of what I would do
but I will tell it to one who has never been
seen… one who hides deep in the Heighliner
control rooms. He will hear it first.
GUILDSMEN #3
(fear)
No!
Paul smiles as we move closer and closer to him.
282. INT. CONTROL ROOM - HEIGHLINER - SPACE
Suddenly we are in the Heighliner control room, near the floor in the
chemical spills. We move up into the orange gas. THUNDERING begins
to shake the Heighliner.
PAUL (V.O.)
Where are you… Let me see you or there
will be no spice.

We move into very thick gas and there is a ROARING. Suddenly Paul
sees the Third Stage Navigator.
PAUL (V.O.)(CONT’D)
You know what I’m about to say is true… I
have the power to destroy the spice forever.
The Guild Navigator’s mouth stretches back in a horrible MOAN. The
moan becomes more pained and grows louder and louder.
283. INT. GREAT HALL - ARRAKEEN PALACE - DAY
The Guildsmen in the room are MOANING and SCREAMING and swarming out
towards the doorway – the Fremen stop them. The Emperor and all are
amazed and frightened. There is a long hush. The old Reverend Mother
then turns and glares at Paul.


Now this mentions the third stage navigator but in the 5th draft it was to be a 4th stage navigator basically a sandworm but with a mutated human head similar to a 3rd stage navigator. The scene where the guildsmen are uneasy is in the costume documentary on the dvd. This would have been a cool monster moment at the end a human who now looks more like a sandworm than human because he has been alive for ages and stuffed himself full of spice 😃

There was also the plot point that in the place that the Bene Gesserit could not look… In the Black hole this 4th Stage Navigator would be the one that would kill the men who drank the water of life not allowing them to transcend but he could not stop Paul Atreides, but Because they never made the 4th Stage Navigator he sadly was never revealed as the top Secret Navigator of all Navigators the Ultimate Spice mutation.

The Navigator Being disintegrated is there correctly I think when Paul Drinks the Water of Life but the 4th Stage Navigator was to be the Boss if you like who basically knew Paul had the upper hand and the threat of making it rain he showed them he could destroy the spice but he did not.

Also when Paul Successful takes the Water of Life the last image of the sequence was to be a flower opening. Without the seeds of the scarce plants and the Vision of the Flower opening these things would have added to the Rain at the end but it’s missing all the shots that lead up to the rain plot point.

https://vimeo.com/283965412